Chapter 2 Self-Deception and Virtual Personality
Lin Yayue was taken aback, but I was the overlord this time, whether she resisted or not, I was going to kiss to the end, and soon, I felt that my lips were surrounded by a soft and moist feeling, of course it was Lin Yayue's lips, I pushed my tongue into her tongue cavity vigorously, and then enjoyed a snake swimming around wantonly.
Lin Yayue let out a snort, as if she wanted to push me away, but I hugged her tightly and kissed her frantically despite her resistance.
It lasted for a few minutes before I ended the kiss with Lin Yayue, and I felt that my tongue had become extremely numb, and I almost vomited.
Lin Yayue wiped the crystal liquid on her lips, squinted her eyes and looked at me with a smile:
"The kiss skills are good, do you want the overlord to attack me with a bow? Unfortunately, as you can see, I don't eat this set. Xiao Shiyi Lang. ”
"No," I also smiled and wiped the saliva from my mouth, "I'm not an overlord with a bow, I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, because I've been in love with you for a long time, Lin Yayue, you know?" I've wanted to confess to you for a long time. In the past ten days, every time I was confused and frustrated, you were by my side, encouraging me again and again, comforting me again and again, giving me comfort, I have long been obsessed with you. You know what? ”
Lin Yayue laughed:
"That's me using you to trick other people, are you still serious?"
"That's okay," I smiled, "because I didn't plan to date you in the first place, I just wanted to date the fictional Lin Yayue who accompanied me in my mind, gentle as water, and you were just a tool I used to deceive myself." Thank you for giving me a day to make my wish come true. ”
Lin Yayue's face finally changed a little, but soon she laughed again:
"I'm sorry. What I showed you before is not my true character, I am essentially a crazy woman, much crazier than you think. Hahaha. ”
"It's okay, love can change a woman, I believe that." I said it seriously.
Lin Yayue pinned her hands behind her back and said:
"You're not going to want to talk to me about this for a little more than a day, are you? Relying on these useless things can't make me tempted. If you want to use the metaphor of climbing a tree, Xiao Shiyilang, you have only just touched the root of the tree now, and you are still 108,000 miles away from the canopy. Where do you want to take me next? Amusement park? Cinema? Aquaria? Haunted houses? Pedestrian street? Or a zoo or an arcade? Hurry up and pick a location. ”
I looked at Lin Yayue and asked:
"Where do you want to go?"
Lin Yayue smiled:
"Where do I want to go? I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to wait for the day to come, and see you take sleeping pills, and then I can go and see my master. ”
"Okay, then we're not going anywhere." I said, and then I directly found a piece of land, sat down, and then looked at Lin Yayue quietly. "I'll just sit here, look at you, and be satisfied."
Lin Yayue looked at me in disbelief and said:
"You can't be crazy, right, Xiao Shiyilang? For the rest of the day, don't you hurry up and attack me well, do you want to sit here and wait for death? ”
"But don't you want to go anywhere? I don't want to distort your mind, I'll go with you wherever you want to go. I said calmly, "If you don't want to go anywhere, then we won't go anywhere." ”
Lin Yayue let out a sigh of discouragement, she supported her forehead, and said:
"Okay, okay, I've really lost to you. Do you want to retreat as advance? Okay, then I'll send a city out of the city first, and let's go to the nearby New Magazine Theme Café for semi-self-service coffee. I happened to be a little thirsty. ”
"Okay," I nodded, standing up, "then go to the New Magazine Theme Café." ”
The date between me and Lin Yayue is simply a confrontation between the two armies, this is not just the transmission of affection, but more like a confrontation of brainpower, Lin Yayue is a romance novelist, a love expert, and I am the one who wants to attack her, such a position is destined for her to oppose my strategy, and I have to continue to use various ways to attack her, between us is like a game of chess, I take a step back, she takes a step back, she goes further, I take a step back.
The love field is like a battlefield, that's what it's like.
And Lin Yayue came to the new magazine theme café, because Lin Yayue in the black dragon state made a lot of trouble in the city, resulting in the vicinity of the central area of Nanjing has been empty, when we entered the café, there was a mess inside, the coffee cups and magazines in the café were all poured on the ground, and the ground was full of water stains of coffee liquid. I took two cups of the best Blue Mountain coffee from the coffee machine, one cup was handed to Lin Yayue, Lin Yayue was holding Erlang's legs, holding a fashion magazine in her hand, flipping through it carefully, when she picked up my coffee, she just said thank you softly, and then refocused her eyes on the magazine, looking at herself.
And I didn't say anything, just watched her quietly while drinking coffee.
The soft and warm sunlight shone in through the window of the café and shone on the coffee table between us, illuminating the table with a large patch of light. And I took small sips of coffee.
The clouds were passing through the sky one by one, and the hands of the wall clock in the café were turning one grid after another, and I was not in a hurry, just drinking coffee and quietly watching Lin Yayue until she finished reading a magazine...... Then I picked up a second magazine. Obviously, the purpose of her initiative to come to the café was to read the magazine, so as to delay time.
But I was able to procrastinate more than she did, so I simply looked at her like this, and did nothing else, but looked at her quietly, looking at her eyebrows, the bridge of her nose, the tip of her nose, her lips, her eyelids, her bangs, her ears, her collarbones...... From top to bottom, and from bottom to top, looking at her over and over again.
It wasn't until after browsing the fifth magazine, when the night outside had begun to be hazy and the light inside the room had dimmed, that Lin Yayue raised her head to look at me again, and said strangely:
"Are you really going to just keep looking at me and not do something? I've given you a chance. ”
I just smiled and didn't say anything, still looking at Lin Yayue quietly.
Lin Yayue put down the magazine, and also looked at me quietly with her chin behind her hands, and said:
"I'm weird, what do I have to see?"
"You look good at everything." I smiled and said, "You're so beautiful." These lip beads are like cherries. And this eyebrow, faint, like cirrus clouds, especially the bridge of the nose, I have seen it many times, like the ridge of the Meili Snow Mountain. ”
Lin Yayue smiled dumbly:
"Have you ever been to Meili Snow Mountain?"
I shook my head:
"I haven't been there, but I don't think Meili Snow Mountain is as beautiful as your nose bridge."
Lin Yayue sighed lightly and said:
"It's quite sweet in the mouth. But did you know that for a well-known novelist, your description is just an itch in the boot? I really don't feel it at all. ”
"But what I say is what I think in my heart, what I say from the bottom of my heart." I smiled and said, "You're too beautiful to look at enough." ”
Lin Yayue turned her face slightly, didn't look at me, and said:
"You're wasting your time, Xiao Shiyilang. What exactly do you want to do? ”
"I don't want anything." I laughed and said, "I didn't want to save the world in the first place." Just trying to date you. ”
When I said this, I didn't hide it in my heart at all. Because this is the truest thought in my heart, from the very beginning, I didn't have the luxury of expecting Lin Yayue to succeed and propose a date, just to buy some time for the citizens of Nanjing to escape. As for whether or not I can attack Lin Yayue in the end, I have completely left it to fate and a flash of inspiration in my brain that I don't know when it may appear.
Lin Yayue seemed a little bored with my boring answer.
"That's the plan, that's really boring. I thought you could have a more clever plan, but I think I'm going to be disappointed. ”
I smiled, but didn't answer.
At this time, because the sky was gradually darkening, and the power grid in the city had been interrupted due to Lin Yayue's previous destruction, the café became dark.
Lin Yayue stretched her waist and said:
"The power is off, you don't want to stay here, do you?"
I smiled and said:
"If you don't want to go, I'm here with you."
Lin Yayue smiled slightly:
"Although I'm black, it's not fun to stay in this black place, just take a walk."
In this way, Lin Yayue and I left the café, the street outside was empty, pitch black, there were no street lights, no interior lights or neon lights and landscape lights, completely different from the festive night scene of the city on the previous dates, this time the city was as silent as death.
The night breeze was blowing, and I felt a cold on my cheeks, and I didn't know how Lin Yayue felt, but looking at her confident appearance, she seemed to be expecting something else. When she walked to the window of a sporting goods store, Lin Yayue saw a ball stick that fell on the ground, and then she suddenly laughed like crazy, and then picked up the bat and smashed the store door, smashing it while laughing insolently:
"Rejoice! It's so exciting! I don't know how many times I've imagined that if there were no human beings on the earth, I would be alone to vent! Ha ha! ”
Lin Yayue laughed wildly, venting willfully, and kept smashing everything she saw in her field of vision with the ball stick in her hand, the Cadillac car lights and window mirrors on the side of the road, the glass doors and windows of all the clothing stores along the street, and the plaques and mascots outside the beauty shop, were all smashed by her, Lin Yayue at this moment has no ladylike demeanor at all, she is completely a crazy female neurotic, female pervert, and female madman.
She kicked the garbage can on the side of the road to scare away the stray dogs on the side of the road, and hummed the tune, and then wrapped the skirt of the wedding dress around her waist like a towel to make it easier for her to walk and run. Because her long hair would be messed up by the loose strands of hair when she went crazy, she also split her long hair into two sides and tied two long ponytails, which swayed up and down with her running as she ran and smashed.
She was completely irrational, in a state of extreme euphoria, like a human being, the green sewage wet her long tail, but she didn't care at all, in the process of crazy venting, her poetry was constantly generated.
"Ah...... The city's **, ironed in the cage of the night, the greenery is thick, and there are white doves rippling on the roof of this calm house...... It throbs and shines through pine forests and mosquito bushes. The just night fire is there with starlight, and the sky, the sky, the sky is forever starting anew! What a good reward, after some deep thought. Finally, you will be able to see the tranquility of the gods in the distance! ”
"Ears and temples grind, ears and temples grind, when you don't kill, when you don't kill, you don't kill! The night is endless, and Yang Ziyi is familiar! Lin Yayue whipped a cat out with a stick, blood splashed everywhere, but she laughed wildly. It wasn't until she was covered in sweat that she turned her face to look at me like a gossamer, and said with a smile:
"See? That's my nature, I'm a crazy woman, I like to kill, I like to destroy, I like catharsis, I like excitement, do you still like me?! Ho ho ho ha! ”
I looked at Lin Yayue's face quietly, and then said:
"Like. I like it more. Actually, I like crazy people the most. After saying that, I also picked up a stick from the ground and accompanied Lin Yayue to vent frantically, while venting, I also sang a song I made up randomly:
"Ants and flying insects arrived in the name of the years...... The waves silence us...... She's crying, I'm singing...... In the air of memory, the dripping first night...... It was blood, and she could barely hold it in her hands...... Teenage chastity ...... It's the magic of the lollipop in the rain......"
While singing, I also smashed and stabbed the doors, windows, and windows of clothing stores on the side of the road, smashing, crushing, and destroying all the seemingly beautiful, gorgeous, and orderly items.
"Little Mouse, do you want to see your sister's Mimi? Come to my brother~~ Hey, hey! Lin Yayue was like a drunk drunk on the pedestrian street, as if the suppressed emotions in her heart in the human state that she had endured for many years were completely released at this moment, from the east road of the street to the west road, the two of us almost smashed everything we could. Finally we crouched together on the street corner, panting and looking at each other.
"Boy, is it fierce enough to stay crazy with me for so long?"
"Are you madly tired after all this time?" I smiled and shook the stick in my hand.
"Do you dare to go to a bar with me?" Lin Yayue crouched on the ground, her legs spread wide on the ground, her eyes were bright, she held her chin and smiled, "If you are not drunk, I will accompany you to bed, and the time to sleep when you are drunk will be deducted from the rest of the time." Do you dare? ”
"Why don't you dare?" I shook the stick in my hand, clapped my hands and said, "Drink it." ”
Lin Yayue crossed her hands on her hips, laughed, and said:
"Good, good! It's refreshing! Walk! ”
Next, Lin Yayue and I ransacked a hotel, we searched all the wine we could find on the bar, vodka, brandy, cognac, rum, all the foreign wine with enough degrees as if it was in a row, and then what Lin Yayue drank, I accompanied her to drink something, to see who drank first, according to her, if she fell first, then she would accompany me to bed and go crazy all night, if I fell first, then if I lay down for more than a day, then the rest of the date time was all deducted. The bet is simple and crisp. But obviously, if Lin Yayue is a non-human and non-human, I have a huge chance of losing.
Actually, I don't have a very good grasp of my own alcohol consumption, but when I was with Agni, Aoi and Ymir before, I knew some of my own alcohol consumption, and I don't know what the upper limit of my alcohol consumption is, but it should still be passable. Especially when I was with Xiaokui, I didn't know how much I ate or drank at that time.
As a result, when the tragedy occurred, although I did not underestimate Lin Yayue's drinking, I underestimated my own drinking, drank I don't know how many catties of wine, and finally not only did not drink the two of us down, but drank our stomachs bigger, Lin Yayue and I looked at each other's stomachs that had swelled into yurts, vomiting, burping, and helplessness at the same time.
Lin Yayue and I both pointed to each other's stomachs, and then laughed. Although neither of us fell down after drinking, but because of the effect of alcohol, both of us became extremely excited, and the logic, reason, and reason in our brains completely collapsed, and we really got to the point where we could do everything. Without the constraints of laws, social rules, and human feelings, the two of us became completely free people, doing the craziest things, that night, I don't know how many storefronts and how many streets we ran with Lin Yayue, we also ate bibimbap made with the ashes of dead citizens on the side of the road, played with the hearse floating, grave jumping, coffin surfing, and finally did not stop until the hearse hit a tree, and the two of us fell asleep together.
When I woke up the next day, it was already the scorching sun, and when I woke up, I only felt sore, my arms and legs were not strong, my body was full of vomit, and even my pants were worn backwards, but Lin Yayue in the car seat next to me was gone.
I was startled, thinking that Lin Yayue and Agini died because of the successful relationship of the strategy, I hurriedly jumped out of the car to find her trace, and finally I looked up, but saw that she was sitting on a stone outside the car blowing the wind, her hair was scattered in the wind, she was wearing a black sun hat on her head, holding a cup of milk tea in her hand, she was sucking carefully, seeing me get out of the car, she said with some admiration:
"I thought you would sleep until everything was over, but I didn't expect to wake up in the middle of the day. You've got nine hours left, so what else can you do with me? ”
I looked at Lin Yayue's quiet face, and I only felt that the world was spinning for a while, and I couldn't help but vomit again.
I finally managed to recover, but my body was still very weak, it seemed that I was really overused yesterday, I can't even remember what happened after I got drunk last night, it was like a second amnesia.
Lin Yayue threw me a bottle of pulsation, I rinsed my mouth, and then got out of the car to look at her.
"Nine hours left, huh?" I asked.
"yes." Lin Yayue pushed a trace of long hair with bangs behind her ear and looked at me with a smile, "I'm very principled, right?" If you are given an anesthetic injection while you are unconscious, everything is over. ”
"Then why didn't you do that?" I asked.
"Because I want to see it last." Lin Yayue said, "I'm very interested, I want to see what you are trying to do with me." Isn't it all written like this in novels, the protagonist is often coerced by a villain to complete a certain task within 24 hours, or die. Then the protagonist often turns things around at the last minute. As a former novelist, I'd love to see what surprises you can give me. ”
"No surprises." I said bluntly, spreading my hands, "Not really." ”
"Then I'll wait until the time is up to see your disappointed and decadent expression, and that's definitely a wonderful treat." Lin Yayue said.
I smiled bitterly, raised my head, looked at the city of Nanjing, which had become a ruin behind me, and asked:
"Where do you want to go next?"
Lin Yayue tapped her chin with her delicate fingers, looked up at the gray sky, and said:
"Hmm...... Where to go? By the way, let's go back to my house. I don't think I'll see it again, so let's go back and have a look. ”
Lin Yayue offered to go back to her home to see, of course I agreed to her, although the military did not interfere with the date between me and Lin Yayue, but I knew that they had actually been secretly spying on us all along, so I shouted a few words casually, and in less than twenty minutes, a helicopter flew from the sky and landed in front of me and Lin Yayue, the two of us got on the plane, and after two transfers, we took the passenger plane to Lin Yayue's original residence.
Lin Yayue is a native of Zhejiang, and her former residence is in Shaoxing, Zhejiang, which is a typical Jiangnan woman, and there are many literati in history. Lin Yayue's former residence is much simpler than I imagined, it is actually a farmhouse earthen tile house, two floors, with a hugging compound, it looks in disrepair, unusually dilapidated and shabby, and it is still spliced with the surrounding nursing homes.
When Lin Yayue took my hand and entered the nursing home, an old lady inside did not evacuate, but was sweeping the floor, it seems that the military did not tell the old people here about the disaster.
When the old lady who swept the floor saw Lin Yayue, she immediately smiled, as if she had seen her granddaughter and greeted her warmly, Lin Yayue also held my hand, greeted the old lady warmly, stepped forward to greet very politely, and even helped the old lady sweep a piece of land, if it weren't for seeing the other side of Lin Yayue, I would even think that Lin Yayue has always been the original Lin Yayue, and has never changed.
Rusty iron window frames, moss-covered earthen tile walls, peeling mud, and weeds in the yard. Unexpectedly, this is the residence where Lin Yayue and Uncle Lewd have lived for many years.
Lin Yayue's room was behind a wooden door with yellow paint on the second floor near the end of the hallway, and when I entered, I was stunned by the simplicity inside. I originally thought that the place where a lady like Lin Yayue lived must be a luxurious villa like a castle, but I never expected that the place she lived in for many years was only a small house of less than eighty square meters, with two bedrooms and one living room, and even a bathroom and kitchen, the living room was unusually clean and simple, the cheapest and cheapest coffee table made of compressed sawdust, and a second-hand fabric sofa with several stitches sewn on the fabric of a handrail, in addition, it was a pot of wilted daffodils on the coffee table, and there was nothing else.
"The home is a bit basic. Don't mind, right? Lin Yayue walked to the window with some embarrassment, opened the curtains, opened the window frame to breathe, and said.
My eyes wandered around Lin Yayue's house, shook my head, and said:
"Don't mind. But your home ...... It was a bit of a surprise to me. ”
"I am different from human beings, human beings pursue luxury and wealth, and I have little material needs for the human world." Lin Yayue said, pushed open the door of her room, and I saw a small room of no more than fifteen square meters, in which there was a single bed, the sheets were very simple and elegant, dotted with a little plum blossoms, and the thin quilt on it was neatly folded. There was also a European-style chest of drawers next to the bed, and then Lin Yayue's room was occupied by a bookshelf connected to a desk, on which were placed all kinds of novels. From Wang Liping's "Life in Two Cities" to Wang Chunyuan's "No Way to Repent", as well as Keigo Higashino's "The Murder of the Yamaso Incident", from youth to love, from love to suspense, there are really any types.
The room also has a balcony, but it is not sunny, and after the afternoon there is basically no sunlight, the room is dim, and one of the clothes lines on the balcony is squeaky and squeaky by the wind. I can't imagine, Lin Yayue...... Lived in such a place for many years.
Long before Nidhogg became Lin Yayue, the real Lin Yayue had already lived here, what kind of girl was the real Lin Yayue? What kind of stories has she had, what kind of hearts have she had, has she ever loved someone, or has she been loved? In this humble room where the sun never shines, how did she spend lonely nights after nights?
I'll never know.
Lin Yayue sat on the bed, stretched her waist, and said lazily:
"It felt really nice to be at home. Do you know, in the past three years, for a long time, I have been in this room, constantly figuring out Lin Yayue's thoughts, simulating her mentality, and learning her character...... At night, I lay on the bed, closed my eyes, and imagined myself as her, how she got up from the bed, how she walked to the desk, how she turned on the lamp, how she carefully turned the pages one by one, how she used gestures to hold the pages, and what kind of mind she used to read her novels, and what kind of mood she had in writing them...... I figured it all out, day and night, and I think I'm now her. ”
"So, do you think that you have played this role very successfully, and you are very integrated into the role of Lin Yayue?"
"Of course." Lin Yayue lay on the bed, her thighs curled up, and said lazily, "Over the years, I have been chasing her shadow and playing her shadow." Just like when she was alive. Although she is no longer there. ”
I looked at Lin Yayue and said:
"Since you play this role so hard and love this role so much, then you destroy this world, don't you regret it?"
Speaking of this, I lowered my head, but I was stunned, because I saw Lin Yayue lying on the bed with tears oozing from the corners of her eyes, and the two crystal tears and the bridge of her nose staggered vertically and slid down, wetting the white sheets.
"I like to play this role, and I want to destroy the world and chase my master, that's two different things." Lin Yayue laughed miserably, "Playing Lin Yayue is just my interest, it's just a hobby." ”
Lin Yayue wiped the tears on her face, and I realized that I was afraid that she herself couldn't tell whether she was Lin Yayue or Nidhogg.
Lin Yayue walked to the window and opened the curtains, letting the sporadic dim light outside reflect on the window, creating one halo after another.
"For three years, I've been trying to understand someone who no longer exists in this world." Lin Yayue said slowly, "I read the novels she has written, and I have read the diaries she has written. Then a person writes a novel for himself...... Imagine what it's like to be a human being in a novel. You know, writing a novel is really a very interesting thing, it can make you imagine countless personalities, countless faces, and each face is actually a projection of your heart. But after a long time, the mask is worn for a long time, and you won't even be able to tell which character is you. ”
Lin Yayue gently reached out of her hand, broke through the window frame, grabbed it in the air against the breeze blowing outside the house, shook it gently, and then slowly unfolded it.
"Lin Yayue is dead, and the whole world can't find her, but I feel that the whole world is her. What constitutes a person is not only the material of the person himself, but also the vacancy of the world relative to him. Even if she is gone, the whole world has become a part of her, and this world ...... It is a world full of charm. ”
Lin Yayue's last sentence gave me a great shock, and in an instant, countless pictures flashed in my mind, and the scattered fragments were combined into an orderly picture.
At that moment, I suddenly knew how to attack her.
Or rather, the way to conquer the world.
"Actually, you've always been conflicted in your own heart, haven't you?" I laughed.
Lin Yayue raised her eyebrows and said:
"Really? Maybe. But I'm happy with what I'm doing now. ”
I took two steps forward, patted Lin Yayue on the shoulder, and said:
"There are four hours left. This time, come with me to a place. ”
Lin Yayue raised her eyebrows and smiled, as if she had received some signal from me, and said:
"There, you're going to raid me?"
I looked at her calmly and said:
"There, I'll raid the whole world."
Lin Yayue bloomed with a brilliant smile, and her pure black eyes were like a night pearl shining at night:
"That's right. This is the moment I was waiting for. Let me see what tricks you can play, Xiao Shiyilang. ”