I was born in 1989 and am 24 years old.

When I was talking to my mother on the phone a while ago, she said to me, "You're 24 or 25 years old, you're not young, take care of your body." ”

I was suddenly slightly stunned, yes, I am not young anymore, and youth has left me.

In the dead of night, I sat in my small rented house, looked out the window at the dark night, looked at the starless Shanghai night sky, and then plugged in my headset and listened to a song all night.

Infinite replay, replay, until your eyes get tired, and then you fall asleep.

I feel like my life is like a movie that is constantly being played, sitting every day with the same things, slowly wearing out, slowly consuming, so that all of a sudden, my youth is gone, and I have grown up.

It's really grown up......

In my impression, youth is always inseparable from three things.

Games, school, girls

I remember when I was younger, there were no computer games, only game consoles, my brother had a lot of game consoles, and every time I went to him, I would walk a long way, and then sit next to him and watch him play a game for a night, and there was a game called "Castlevania" at that time, so I saw the vampire prince in the game constantly killing monsters, and now I think about it, it's really stupid, but when I was young, I watched it with relish, and it was more interesting than watching movies.

When we grew up, we started to touch computers, going to dark internet cafes where minors could enter, watching the people around us play legends, and watching gang leaders with glowing weapons and a group of men slashing another group of players and exploding equipment. Or watch the CS master kill the opposite person's head with AK points.

I remember when interstellar was the hottest at that time, when I walked into an Internet café, all the machines were playing interstellar, and you felt outdated when you watched a movie.

And so the days went by, until later, we bought our own computers.

We fill our computer with games and download a lot of movies, but at night, we look at the computer screen and often go in a daze, and this daze may be a night, we don't do anything, we don't know what to do, nothing can arouse our enthusiasm, we are disappointed in the game, we are tired of watching movies.

Later, when we grew up completely, the games on the computer were gone, the movies were gone, and there were only endless files and reports.

The game said goodbye to us, and I often say to the juniors who are now playing LOL or the juniors who are watching the MV of the post-90s idol group, back then, we liked to play AR3, using the Terran RUSH elf, back then, we liked Qi Qin, and liked his freedom and wandering.

So, I would encounter a lot of ridicule, and they told me that no one was playing AR3 now, and CG was going to cancel the AR3 project, and no one listened to Qi Qin anymore, it was a dark-skinned old man.

I know that my youth is gone, completely gone......

I miss those days of studying.

Although many students who are still studying have told me that reading is hard, many people compare school to a prison and have no freedom. Actually, I just want to tell you that you are really in heaven, and when you leave school, you are really in hell, a hell where one eats people and harms others.

In fact, middle school is the most youthful time for a person.

At that time, although we had endless exam papers, you would find that there was always a friend who would lend you homework to copy. Although you have words that you can't memorize, you will find that you are never the only one who can't memorize words.

I remember that at that time, in the school monthly exam and Chinese exam, the essay was to write an argumentative essay, and I was so upset that I directly wrote a 1500-word martial arts, and I wrote it super fast, usually 30 minutes to write an essay, but that time only took 15 minutes.

Of course, the results can be imagined......

I still remember that my English was always very poor, and in my junior year of high school, we had a different Chinese teacher, and he walked into the classroom and saw that we were all overwhelmed with English words, and his face was full of anger.

Then he said to us, "From now on, I will not be allowed to use English books in my classes!" If anyone is an English word, I will tear the English book! We can't speak our own Chinese language clearly, so why do we speak the language of foreigners? ”

Since that day, I have loved this Chinese teacher very much and respected him.

I remember that the day I graduated from junior high school, I spent it in an Internet café, the day I graduated from high school at KTV, and the day I graduated from college, I spent it in a roadside restaurant.

We will drink a lot, talk a lot, and we will not necessarily cry, but we will definitely be sad.

Today, many years later, I can't help but smile when I think of the classrooms that shone in the sun, the desks that were small but full of books, the art classes where I could sleep, and the physical education classes where I could fight.

I miss it so much, I miss those times, there were no designer clothes, no prejudice, and innocence.

Of course, I'm talking about my era, but the post-00s and post-90s are very different.

To this day, I sit in the dark night, holding endless meetings, doing endless work, endless abuse, and misinterpretation. In the past, when someone scolded you, you could hit him, but now when you scold you, you can only smile silently.

So I began to miss the prisons that you hated, the schools where you could fight, where you could talk to teachers, and where you could sleep cool.

It's just that my youth is gone, and the real is gone......

I lived to be 24 years old, and my first love was in my freshman year of high school, with a girl I met because of a text error. At that time, there was no concept of opening a house, there was no so-called sex. I just felt happy to be together, so we were together, and because of estrangement, we separated.

I was very memorable with the three girls.

One was a girl in junior high school, who was hazy and had a good feeling, and at that time she talked and chatted in class every day, was very happy, and even texted each other. But now that she's settled in Australia, I haven't seen her for years, I remember her, but she's just a little bit of an impression of me, that's all.

Later, when I was in high school, I didn't know if I had shit luck, and the school flower of the whole school sat next to me one day in history class.

So I was flattered and forced to be handsome, and now that I think about it, I thought he had a crush on me or something. Because at that time I was second in the class in history, and the first one slept every day, and she happened to quarrel with the boy behind me, so she sat down next to me, on the one hand, to ask history questions, and on the other hand, to stimulate the boy behind me.

But I didn't know that at the time.

I still have to tidy up my appearance every day before going out, often talk to her, exchange diaries with her, until after graduation, I ask her if the diary is still there? She told me that it was thrown away a long time ago.

Until today, I sent her a QQ message, and she never replied to me.

To this day, she is a prestigious university graduate, and I am just a poor college graduate.

To this day, she is getting married, and I am still alone.

That's all, in fact, everything is fine.

I still remember that in my junior year of high school, when everyone went to dinner at noon, I came back from the teacher's office and walked in the corridor on the third floor, and I saw her standing in the corridor on the fourth floor basking in the sun from a distance.

She beckoned to me, and I rushed to her side.

In the sun, with her pale yellow hair and delicate face, I still remember when she said, "What if I don't get into college!" ”

I replied to her, "I'll raise you." ”

She smiled and asked me, "How long will you keep me?" ”

I said, "For a lifetime." ”

So, we all laughed......

After college, I met a good girl, a quiet, ordinary girl.

She had a lot of setbacks and got together with her boyfriend at the time, and we had a crush on each other at that time, but I knew it couldn't be, and I fought for it, but she refused.

I got up early in the morning to buy medicine for her because she was sick.

I gave her an umbrella on a rainy day, got myself wet, and finally her boyfriend came to pick her up.

She had a fight with her boyfriend and I bought her a big bag of snacks to make her happy.

However, in the end, we were not together.

She said to me, "If she's single after graduation and I'm single too, we'll be together." ”

I said, "Okay." ”

So a few years ago, after we graduated, we had another class reunion, and I asked her if she was single, and she told me that she was getting married.

I smiled and said, after so many ups and downs, it is not easy for you and your boyfriend.

But she said, "I'm not married to that man, and my fiancé is a colleague now." ”

Actually, at that time, I wanted to ask, why didn't you come to me?

But I didn't say anything, I just laughed.

Because I've grown up, and so has she.

When I grew up, I didn't have the courage to ask questions that I knew would hurt me.

So, she got married this year, and I'm still single.

I've met many girls who say to me, "You're a good person, you're going to meet someone better than me, and I'm not worthy of you." ”

But, in fact, the result is: I am still single, and they already have a happy family.

That's all, aren't they all living?

Without love, the earth still turns.

So, I don't want love.

A boy's youth is always tied to these three things.

When one day, we have no games in our computers, when one day we sit in a cage called the office and envy the life of school, when we believe not in love but in money.

We've really grown up.

And our youth is gone......

That's what I was, and before I knew it, I was like that......

Hypocritical talking, smiling, and even being careful after drinking, quarrels between friends can no longer be solved by fist fights, and I no longer have the courage to sincerely say: "I will support you for the rest of your life".

Actually, this is everyone's life.

I would like to commemorate my departed youth with this article......

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