I looked at Mo Xiang's happy face and told the love in my heart, but the bitterness gradually spread.

Perhaps something is really predestined, and after so many years, it has never changed.

Mo Xiang saw that something was wrong with me and pushed me: "Sister, what's wrong with you?" You...... Why do you have such an expression, is it wrong for me to like him? ”

I smiled at her: "No, it's nothing, I want to move out of the Chu family for the time being." You...... Mo Xiang, I will get your deed of sale back, this is also the only thing I can do for you as a sister. ”

"What are you talking about? Sister, if it weren't for you, I would have died a long time ago, you have done a lot for me, and I should do something for you in the future. ”

"Are you really leaving? If you leave like this, Young Master Chu will marry someone else, are you willing? ”

I sighed lightly: "I can't control who he wants to marry, Mo Xiang, I hope you can also understand that loving someone is not a matter of robbing and robbing to get his heart." What's the point if his heart isn't with you, if he doesn't love you, and all you have is a shell? ”

"I don't care, I just like Brother Qiushui anyway."

This girl always has to taste the bitterness before she turns back. But better than me, she will at least turn back, and I, as Chu Nantang said, walked this road, even if I hit the south wall, I will not look back.

I cleaned up the bookshelf for Chu Nantang as usual, he didn't like others to touch these things, and the piano.

I borrowed a book from him, and when I couldn't sleep at night, I flipped through it, and the annotations full of books didn't feel jerky at all, and those were things that he had written down with a pen himself.

The handwriting is vigorous and beautiful, and I returned the book without reading it, because I had already decided the day I would leave.

Finally, he used his new pen to mention a poem, on the unfinished page.

Exquisite dice An red beans, into the bone lovesickness does not know.

I don't think of leaving as an escape or cowardice, but as fulfillment. That didn't affect my love for him in the slightest, and he had many reasons not to love in this life, and I didn't want to make it too difficult for him.

On the day I left, I went to bid farewell to Mrs. Chu, and when I saw that I insisted on leaving, she got up and took some silver coins to me: "Don't blame me for being unkind, for the sake of your acquaintance with Nantang, you can take these silver coins." ”

"Thank you, madam, I can be self-reliant, please take these coins back, I have only one request."

"You say."

"I want my sister's deed of sale."

Mrs. Chu stared at me for a long time before asking, "Only this request?" ”

"Yes, that's the only request."

Mrs. Chu instructed: "Grandma Sun, go and bring Mo Xiang and this girl's deed of sale." ”

Mama Sun nodded, turned around and took the deed of sale, and Mrs. Chu burned the deed of sale between me and Mo Xiang in front of me.

"The deed of sale is burned, you are free, you can go wherever you want, and don't go back to the Chu family."

I breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank you, ma'am." ”

went back to pack the baggage, thinking about going to see Mo Xiang again, but just turned around with the baggage, only to see Chu Nantang walk in from outside the door.

His expression was unprecedentedly solemn, and he stared at the burden in my hand for a long time before he said, "Why did you decide so suddenly?" ”

"I don't think it's sudden, doesn't Master often say that fate comes or ends, leaving or coming back, it's all predestined? You can't keep the people who are leaving. ”

Chu Nantang seemed very sad: "You haven't mentioned to me about leaving before, which makes me a little unacceptable." ”

In fact, I also understand that he is very lonely. seems to get along with everyone, but in fact, there is no one who can speak, or enter his heart.

"I live around here, and I won't go far, if you ...... Miss me, you can come and see me anytime. ”

"What's the difference between this and living here?"

"The difference is that if you don't see something sad, you might be able to pretend it never happened."

He suddenly stepped forward and hugged me into his arms, and said bitterly, "Why do you have to go? How lonely I should be when you're gone......"

"Nantang, do you still think that it doesn't matter who you marry?"

"It doesn't matter."

I secretly gasped: "I understand, I won't ask you again in the future." ”

His feelings for me seem to be very vague, maybe it is more than friends, but the lovers are not full.

If you really love someone, you can't put a grain of sand in your eyes.

He couldn't keep me, so I still left, and on the day I left, Shen Qiushui happened to come back, riding a tall horse and wearing a military uniform.

I thought he didn't recognize me, so I didn't look back and continued walking.

Suddenly he heard the sound of horses' hooves behind him, and he turned around again.

Jumping off the horse, he looked at me: "Zen heart? ”

He, like Chu Nantang, has never missed me and Mo Xiang, obviously I look very similar to Mo Xiang.

I thought about teasing him and said, "You recognize the wrong person, I'm Mo Xiang." ”

He smiled firmly: "I'm not mistaken, otherwise let's make a bet?" ”

"Bet on what?"

"Bet you to marry me."

I glanced at him: "You obviously won't marry me, and you know that I won't marry you." ”

He clasped his hands around his chest, raised his eyebrows and smiled, "So you are Zen Heart." ”

"Where are you going?"

"Go...... Go to the Chu Mansion and see Young Master Chu and my father. ”

"Oh, then there you go." When I turned around, he reached out and grabbed my shoulder: "Zen heart, where are you going with your baggage?" ”

"The sky is big, I can go wherever I want."

"It's such a mess out there now, I advise you not to run around." He actually reminded him with concern.

"Thank you for your concern, I see." I walked forward, and he kept following me.

I turned to him and asked, "Why do you keep following me?" ”

"Don't worry about you." Shen Qiushui looked at me suspiciously: "You quarreled with Young Master Chu?" Got a break? ”

"Don't you know that he's going to get married?"

He paused and laughed sarcastically: "Isn't it a matter of time before he gets married?" Oh, are you sad that he got married? ”

"Shen Qiushui. I sometimes find that you are really annoying. ”

"Yes, I hate it, in your heart, only Young Master Chu is a man."

I gave him a secret look: "Aren't you going to the Chu family?" Why are you still following me? ”

"That's right, you live in my house first, anyway, my house is quite big, wait until you find a place to move?"

"No, no."

"Why? You hate me so much? ”

"Does it matter that I hate you or like you?"

He was more energetic: "It's important! Why do you like Young Master Chu and don't like me? Your differential treatment is also obvious, what did I do to make you so annoying? ”

"You didn't do anything nasty."

"Then go to my house and prove to me that you really don't hate me."

I looked up at him. Helplessly, he said: "You are very naïve! ”

"Do you want to say yes?" To soothe his pride, I nodded, and he pulled me on my horse and went to his house.

The Shen family's house in the town is quite large, and it can be regarded as being protected by the Chu family, Aunt Shen is slightly chubby, and she looks very energetic and capable.

Seeing that Shen Qiushui brought someone back, he was overjoyed, so he quickly put down the work in his hand and greeted him: "Ouch, this girl is such a Peugeot!" ”

"Mother, don't scare people."

Aunt Shen looked me up and down: "You bastard." After living for nineteen years, I finally did something that pleased me, and quickly led people into the house. ”

I wanted to explain something, but Aunt Shen hurriedly walked out of the yard, and she didn't know what she was busy with.

Following Shen Qiushui into the house, I said with some uneasiness: "Shen Qiushui, your mother should have misunderstood something." ”

"Misunderstanding, misunderstanding, we won't really have anything anyway."

I poured myself a glass of water, and he took my baggage and said, "I'll clean up the room for you." ”

I admonished, "Don't pack up, I'll probably leave tonight." ”

Not for a while. Aunt Shen entered the house and put the fresh loquat on the table: "This is grown by ourselves at the back of our house, the taste is very sweet, girl, you can taste it." ”

"Thank you, Aunt Shen."

"You're welcome, what's your name, girl? How old is it? ”

"Aunt Shen, I ......"

She pushed the loquat to me again: "Don't be shy, come, eat a loquat." Auntie will make you something to eat. ”

In this way, Mo Ming stayed wonderfully, and Shen Qiushui hurriedly went to the Chu family again.

Shen Huyuan recognized me, exchanged a few words of greeting, and talked about the Chu family's marriage.

"Listening to Mrs. means to be lively, but listening to Young Master Chu's meaning, everything is simple." Shen Huyuan Road.

Aunt Shen smiled and said: "The simplicity of big families is not much grander than our ordinary people. ”

I pretended to eat as if nothing happened, Shen Qiushui didn't say a word, and just buried my head in my mouth.

Later, everyone went to sleep, I took a change of clothes and prepared to take a bath, just walked to the yard, only to see Shen Qiushui carrying a small wooden basin in his arms, and the small wooden basin was filled with acacia locusts and towels, naked.

I was so scared that my heart stopped. hurriedly turned his head: "Shen Qiushui, why don't you even wear a pair of pants!" ”

"How do I know you're out for a walk so late?"

"Then you wash it first!" With that, I took my clothes back and went back to my room.

By the time I finished washing, he hadn't returned to his room, lying in a hammock in the courtyard, leisurely admiring the moon.

I said, "You're not sleeping yet?" ”

"I'm not sleepy, or you can chat with me."

"I've heard you're in high demand in the military."

He sat up, smiled at me, and was silent for a while before saying, "Sometimes, in order to climb up, in addition to a real skill, you also have to learn human accidents, and the fastest way to climb is to climb up by stepping on someone else's shoulder." ”

Shen Qiushui's city is not surprising, he did not change suddenly, but has been hiding well.

"Why aren't you sad at all?" I asked him.

He was surprised: "Why should I be sad? ”

I stared at him worriedly, stepped forward and said, "Don't you like Jiang Rongwen?" She's going to marry someone else, aren't you sad? ”

"How do you know that what I like is Jiang Rongwan?" He narrowed his eyes slightly, stepped forward with a playful expression, and asked in a low voice.

This is the real Shen Qiushui, right? You'll never know what's really going on in his mind.

"Have you ever loved her?"

He smiled: "Look at what I said, she is the future young grandmother of the Chu family, how could I be so self-conscious?" ”

"It seems that we don't have much to talk about."

"What's the matter? I think there's a lot we can talk about. ”

"Because you don't have a word of truth to me." I glanced at him, turned and strode into the room.

It's easy for people to be content with the status quo, and I live day by day shouting that I want to leave the Shen family.

The wedding date has been set, just three days later.

Shen Qiushui said that after attending the wedding, he would return to the army. The weather gradually got hotter, and I helped Aunt Shen dry the quilt, only to see a paper crane hovering above my head.

My heart tightened, and I reached out and took the crane. After thinking about it, he opened the door and walked out.

I saw Chu Nantang wearing a dark satin vest and a cyan gown. There is a verdant jade pendant on the placket, and the neat and clean Sanqi divides the sea.

I used to think that he looked good in white clothes, and I didn't want him to look more noble and calm in black clothes.

"I've been wondering where you've been, but I didn't expect it to be here in Qiushui."

"I'm only living here temporarily, why did you suddenly come here?" Shouldn't he be busy with his own marriage?

His thin light lips were pursed into a straight line, very serious: "Didn't you tell me before, if I miss you, I will come to see you?" Are you hiding yourself to hide from me? ”

"You misunderstood, I didn't want to hide from you, I thought ...... Qiushui told you. I stayed with him. ”

"He didn't tell me."

I tugged at the corners of my mouth and smiled: "Then he was probably too busy to forget." ”

Chu Nantang sighed lightly: "That's it, don't talk about this, let's go out for a walk together." ”

"Hmm."

I walked side by side with him in the countryside, and this beautiful sunny day was a good time to go green.

I wanted to say something like congratulations to him, but after thinking about it, I thought about it, and I asked myself if I could be so great and selfless.

"How have you been?" It was so quiet and weird that I found a topic.

"It's the same as usual," he said. ”

"Oh...... I'm the same as usual, nothing special. ”

He laughed and suddenly said, "I don't know why, looking at you, I feel very relieved." ”

"Nantang, what if...... If you still had a chance, would you come with me? ”

He was silent for a long time before he said, "If I wasn't Chu Nantang, if I could live for ten years, I would definitely take you away without hesitation." ”

I gasped hard, my eyes reddening: "Life can be changed." ”

He said: "The life that can be changed is destiny in itself, it is what should belong to you, and there are some things." You are destined not to have it in this life. ”

"What if there are only three years left? As long as you're happy together, none of this matters. ”

"Zen mind, I don't want to live too selfishly."

I know what he thinks in his heart, that is, he does not want to fail me, and he does not want to fail his family.

We haven't seen each other for a long time since this meeting, and he got married. The wedding in this town can be regarded as beautiful.

It attracted the envy of many people, and I later learned that when we envy others, we only see the appearance of beauty. Pain hidden in the dark. But it's easy to be ignored.

Shen Qiushui was going to leave in two days, and I also packed my baggage and prepared to resign.

Seeing that I had packed up my baggage, Shen Qiushui sighed lightly: "Just stay until the day I leave, anyway, you don't have a place you have to go now." ”

"No, sooner or later, it makes no difference if it's a day earlier or a day later."

"The day I leave, you're not going to see me off?" He asked, leaning against the door and looking at me.

I glanced at him, "You're such a big person, you don't need me to send it." ”

"Zen heart ......" He wanted to speak and stopped, I took the burden and said goodbye to Aunt Shen. Aunt Shen took my hand and asked, "Why do you want to leave suddenly?" Did Qiushui bully you again? ”

"Aunt Shen, it's not like this, Qiushui and I are just very good friends, I should have left earlier, and it has been delayed until now, bothering you."

Aunt Shen looked at Shen Qiushui helplessly, and seeing that Shen Qiushui was just stunned and did not react, Aunt Shen was so angry that her eyes were red.

"And when are you going to come back to see us? You see that you and Qiushui are such good friends, and it would be good to develop them in depth? ”

Shen Qiushui pulled her over: "Mother, don't embarrass others." Zen heart, you go. ”

"Farewell, auntie."

I wanted to go to the village pile where I lived a hundred years ago to see, the direction of Dazhi has not changed, I walked along the mountain road, walked for a day and a night, and arrived at the small village pile.

At this time, the village piles are scattered in the mountains.

In the evening, smoke curls up from the green hills. I probably looked for a spot and came to a dilapidated tiled house.

There was a table in the courtyard, and someone came out of the house with dinner, and saw me standing outside the fence.

"Girl, who are you looking for?"

"Is this the Zhang family?"

"yes, you are?"

Seeing the old ancestor, I couldn't tell the excitement in my heart, we were kind to each other for a long time, and the head of the family suddenly said, "Have you eaten?" Come in and eat together? ”

"Huh?"

"Look, you're quite in love."

They are quite young, only about 20 years old, a young couple, and I heard that they came here to escape the war.

The family members are dead, they met in the war and fled, went through many hardships, and had feelings.

The woman's name is Qin Sang, she is very beautiful, looking at her like that, she is not like an ordinary family born in an ordinary family, maybe before the war, she was also a young lady of a large family.

However, their lives of men and women are indeed at ease.

It's just that Qin Sang is pregnant with a child, and Zhang Jin always thinks that he should find a job to do and support his daughter-in-law and children.

I thought for a while and said, "The Chu family in the town doesn't know if they can recruit long-term workers, otherwise I'll help you ask?" ”

Zhang Jin was very happy to hear it: "Really? Then please, if only I could find a job that makes money. ”

I stayed in Zhang's house, Qin Sang was inconvenient, so I often helped them to work, and I went to the tea mountain with them during the tea picking season, and in the afternoon, I heard someone calling me at the foot of the mountain.

"Zen heart, Zen heart! Someone is looking for you, come down quickly. ”

I hurriedly came down from the tea mountain and returned to Zhang's house with Qin Sang, but I saw Chu Nantang, who was leading the horse, standing outside the door and waiting for a while.

"Nantang!"

I happily ran forward, and the crane landed on my shoulder and stopped flying. I haven't seen him for a long time, and I always feel that he has lost a lot of weight.

"When did you come?"

"It's only been here for a while."

"Come on in, it's hot outside." I poured him a glass of water: "You actually came here on horseback?" ”

He smiled, took two sips of water, and then said: "Now the riding skills are not as good as before, and Shibei should be impressed in three days." ”

As he spoke, he looked around, with a yearning expression: "The mountain is not high, but there are immortals." The water is not deep, and if there is a dragon, it will be spiritual. It's a great place. ”

"Well, I've been living here for a long time. It can indeed cultivate self-cultivation. ”

Qin Sao took some snacks that he made on weekdays, and then went into the house to take a lunch break.

I chatted with him without a word, looked at the sky, and reminded: "Nantang, it's too late, you should go back." ”

"I'm not going back tonight, so I finally came out to see you more."

After that, I didn't urge him to go back. There is only one room in the house, which is occupied by me, but Chu Nantang and I have nothing to see each other. So he slept in a room.

The candlelight flickered on the windowsill, and we huddled into the narrow beds, and the atmosphere was a little warm and ambiguous.

Maybe it's just that I feel a little warm and ambiguous, looking at his frank face.

"Nantang, we are like this, you are not afraid of other people's gossip?"

He smiled: "If you care, I won't come to you like this next time." ”

"I don't care......" I was a little lost and was silent for a while: "If we hadn't met in this era, in another world, maybe it would have been different." ”

The reason why Chu Nantang in the future is easier to open his heart. To love someone without any worries is because he is only himself.

There is nothing to care about, no loved ones, and no restraints.

He stared at the beam of the room in a daze and said, "Maybe, maybe it's because I don't know how to love someone." Zen heart, I'm sorry for you. ”

"There has never been a place where you are sorry for me, Nantang, from the very beginning, you saved my life and gave me a lot of things. I am grateful to you. I turned around and lay down in his arms: "I know that you just don't want to bother me. ”

He touched my hair and smiled softly: "Zen heart, even if you leave, don't disappear completely, at least let me find it." ”

"Hmm."

There was silence for a while, and I thought he was asleep. The lonely moonlight shone in through the windowsill, and quietly looked up at him, only to see him closed his eyes peacefully.

I got up softly, blew out the candle on the windowsill, and climbed into bed. Lay down beside him again.

I yawned, and when I was about to fall asleep, Chu Nantang suddenly hugged me from behind, and his arms gradually tightened.

I raised my hand and covered his: "Nantang ......"

"Zen heart, let her ......" He paused, and I waited for a moment before he continued: "She's pregnant." ”

After hearing this, I jerked over from his arms, and after a deathly silence, he got up and said, "It's not what you think, the child in her belly is not mine." ”

"You, how can you be sure?"

He pursed his lips and sighed lightly: "Of course I'm sure that although I've been married to her for so long, we've never had sex together, so the child in her belly can't be mine." ”

Looking at each other, it was obviously a very heavy topic, but at this moment I laughed unscrupulously.

"Congratulations, happy to be a father."

He smiled, lay down on his side nonchalantly, fiddled with the blood-colored soul beads in his hand, and said, "She came to beg me, don't expose this matter to my mother." I promised her, after all...... If it spreads, not to mention that my reputation is damaged, I'm afraid that she will also be tortured half to death. ”