CHAPTER XVIII

"Doctor, how is my mother?" Outside the ward, seeing that the doctor came out of the ward, Sima Wanyan immediately stepped forward and asked anxiously.

"The patient has recovered and is fine due to the transient vascular depression caused by the extreme mental stimulation received in a short period of time, resulting in reflex syncope. However, due to the patient's excessive sadness for a long time, it is still necessary to rest for a few days to relax and release stress. ”

"Thank you, doctor." Sima Yufan also walked forward quickly after the doctor walked out of the ward, anxiously listening to the doctor's explanation of Chen Huixian's situation, and only when he heard the doctor say that Chen Huixian had woken up and had nothing else, he breathed a sigh of relief and said to the doctor gratefully.

"That's what we should do, you can go in and see her now, but don't disturb the patient's rest."

After the doctor finished speaking, Sima Wanyan immediately walked into the ward, went to Chen Huixian's chair, and looked at Chen Huixian. After thanking the doctor again, Sima Yufan also walked into the hotel and stood on the edge of the bed.

"Mom, how do you feel?" Sima Wanyan held Chen Huixian's hand with both hands and asked softly.

Chen Huixian lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, tears sliding down the corners of her eyes onto the pillow. Neither speaking nor reacting without any expression, the hand held by Sima Wanyan moved slightly, as if conveying to Sima Wanyan that he was fine.

When Sima Wanyan saw Chen Huixian like this, tears could no longer be controlled and slipped from her eyes, flowing down the corners of her mouth and falling on Chen Huixian's hands.

The air in the ward was terrifyingly quiet, and Sima Yufan's family of three quietly thought about the scene they had just seen with each other in this ward, neither wanting to believe nor accept it, and no one was willing to take the initiative to mention it.

Not long after, there was a knock on the door of the ward, and Sima Yufan, who was closest to the door, walked over and opened the door of the ward, and saw Dong Chenghai standing at the door of the ward.

"Mr. Sima, is your wife better?" Dong Chenghai opened his mouth to ask about Chen Huixian's condition.

"Thank you Officer Dong for your concern, she's awake."

"That's good." After Dong Chenghai expressed his concern, he continued in a slightly uneasy tone: "I don't know if Mr. Sima is convenient now, if it is convenient, I want to talk to you." ”

"Okay, you can wait a minute." Sima Yufan guessed Dong Chenghai's intention early on, and when he heard Dong Chenghai say this, he naturally agreed, and after finishing speaking, he went back to the ward and explained to Sima Wanyan that she would accompany Chen Huixian first and then walk out of the ward.

After Sima Yufan walked out of the ward, he saw Dong Chenghai sitting on the rest chair in the corridor next to the ward, so he walked over and sat down beside Dong Chenghai.

"I'm sorry, I know you're feeling bad right now, but I still have to ask you a few questions." After Sima Yufan sat down, Dong Chenghai said to Sima Yufan slightly apologetically.

"Officer Dong, just ask."

"Can you tell me about your judgment of the corpse you just saw?"

"I understand what you mean, don't be so tactful, I can accept it. In terms of physical appearance, it does resemble Yuan Ying, but I am not sure, subjectively I do not believe that he could be my son Sima Yuan Ying, although this may be purely a fluke of my self-deception. Sima Yufan habitually put his hand into his trouser pocket to smoke a cigarette, remembering that he was still in the hospital, he could only stretch out his hand again, cover his face, and then continued: "By the way, Yuan Ying has a two-centimeter-long scar on the back of his neck, which was scratched by fragments when he accidentally broke the piggy bank when he was a child and Wanyan was fighting. ”

"Okay, I'll check in a moment." Dong Chenghai replied.

"Thank you, I hope you can tell me no matter what the outcome is."

"Okay. By the way, can your son Sima Yuanying swim? ”

"No, when she was a child, her mother was strict, although it was a coast, there were many streams in her hometown, and many children were willing to go swimming, but Yuanying's mother never let her go, once Yuanying secretly went with a few friends, but he drowned, and he hasn't been there since. So Yuan Ying not only can't swim, but he is afraid of anyone, and he doesn't even dare to sit on a boat. ”

"Do you mean that Sima Yuanying will not take the initiative to have close contact with the sea or rivers?" Dong Chenghai was surprised by Sima Yufan's statement, and he couldn't help but have another question in his mind: If Sima Yuanying was really afraid of water as Sima Yufan said, then why did he dare to go to Huangshi Cliff, Huangshi Cliff is so steep, and the underground is the sea.

"Yes. Even if he went to the beach, he would only be on the beach at most, and as soon as the water reached his ankle, he would instinctively leave. Sima Yufan blinked quickly, trying his best to control the tears flowing outward, and then said, "So I still don't understand, if it is really Yuan Ying, why would he, who is afraid of water, appear there." ”

Dong Chenghai looked at Sima Yufan, who was trying to restrain himself, and did not speak, he was thinking about the same question as Sima Yufan.

"Maybe I shouldn't ask, but I still have to ask, do you think your son Sima Yuanying may have suicidal thoughts, or has he ever expressed a negative attitude towards life to you?" Dong Chenghai asked cautiously.

"No, never has been, and there can't be, it's not my prejudice as a father. Parent-child relationship aside, one year when I came home, I stumbled upon an article he wrote, which was similar to "On the Meaning of Life", without a title, which impressed me deeply and made me try to look at him from another perspective, so I also read some books on philosophy from time to time after that. ”

"Can you tell me what he wrote?"

"There are a few sentences that I still remember: 'Everyone comes into this world from the moment they are born, and the end result is that a person dies of old age.' So if the purpose of human life is purely to follow a law of aging, experience some trivial things that are insignificant to the nature of life and death, and then naturally or unwillingly bid farewell to this world, then why should people live, why can't they find a way to end their lives in advance......" Sima Yufan paused, as if he wanted to give this article a suspense, and also give Dong Chenghai a space to think.

"This ......"

Sima Yufan ignored Dong Chenghai's doubts, and continued: "From the perspective of the essence of life, the premise of people's decision to continue to keep life is to have life, and if people even give up their lives, it is tantamount to giving up the right to choose based on life. People can choose not to live, or they can choose not to choose on the basis of life, but people can never give up the possibility of whether you want this life and the right to choose whether you want this life based on life but belong to the will of life, because life has always existed, everyone will have an inseparable desire to survive, this is an objective law, no one can change it, even if people can foolishly make a series of sacrifices, but at the end of the abandonment will definitely end in pain. And a person who ends his life in a painful way, especially with the pain of his own creation, is the greatest disrespect for life, and the most unforgivable blasphemy against the objective law. ”

Sima Yufan went on to say: "The will to life will be refined into various wills, and the appearance of the will is the so-called desire, so people are a rough combination of the appearance of the will, and will always do their best to make this appearance more brilliant and dazzling through the satisfaction of various desires, for which no individual can avoid. What, then, is the essence of the will hidden in the appearance of the will? It can only be raw. ”

Dong Chenghai couldn't fully accept Sima Yuanying's views relayed by Sima Yufan for a while, so he could only continue to look at Sima Yufan stupidly, watching him think about Sima Yuanying's views as much as he could.

"Thank you for your cooperation, I will contact you in time if there is any new situation." After a long time, Dong Chenghai stood up and said goodbye to Sima Yufan.

"Officer Dong has worked hard."

Dong Chenghai nodded, then turned around and walked away quickly, disappearing at the end of the corridor.

Sima Yufan walked into the ward, squatted down in front of the bed, brushed the hair on Chen Huixian's forehead with his right hand, and said softly: "Huixian, let's go back to Qianxi after two days of rest, whether it is our son or not, we must take care of ourselves and take care of ourselves, only in this way, we can reunite as a family when Yuanying returns." Well, listen to your husband, okay? ”

Sima Wanyan had never seen such a tender side to her father, who was busy with work all day, and remembered the happy scene when Sima Yuanying and the family were at home before, she couldn't control herself anymore, and stood up and cried silently with her back to them.

Chen Huixian looked at Sima Yufan, nodded weakly, and tears flowed uncontrollably from the corners of her eyes......

"Dad, I want to go to the house outside my brother's school." It didn't take long for Sima Wanyan to wipe away the tears on her face, turn her head and say to Sima Yufan.

"Go ahead, take a good look at your brother's things, don't mess around, your brother doesn't like us to mess with his things......"

Sima Wanyan nodded, ran out of the ward quickly, closed the door of the ward, and said softly, "Brother, where are you?" Brother, where the hell are you? I miss you so much, I really miss you. The voice was so small that only she seemed to be able to hear it.