Shu Wan had a serious expression and said, "Sina, I don't know if what you said is true or not. There are a lot of unknowns in this world, and I can't judge them. But I want to tell you, if it was really me, it took your place. So, what should your life be like? My mother was depressed shortly after I was born. Postpartum depression, to put it in layman's terms, just don't want to live. My father had no choice but to send me back to my grandmother's house. In the countryside in the 80s, the preference for sons over women was still very serious. In the families of many of my classmates, my mother tried her best to avoid family planning in order to have a son who could carry on the family lineage. Some of these girls were given away as soon as they were born. Seriously, I've heard that there are people who throw them directly into the manure pit. ”

Whisna listened, creepy. She grew up in the city, and all she saw and heard around her was how parents loved their children. I haven't heard of treating people as people.

Shu Wan said slowly: "My mother's postpartum depression, I heard before, is because my grandmother urged her to give birth to a son. If what you say is true, then you may have to add another reason, which is that your mother blames herself. Depression is quite scary, if it is not well controlled, maybe this family will be over. I've heard of mothers jumping into the river with their baby in swaddling clothes. So at that time, my parents left me in the countryside, and I couldn't take care of it. I grew up surrounded by gossip from my neighbors. The one who hears the most is that my parents don't want me anymore. ”

Qi Tong, Shen Fangsheng, and Hui Sina listened very carefully.

Shu Wan said: "At that time, my grandmother also had a very serious patriarchal mentality. All the good things in the house, are the eldest cousin's. I can only pick up the leaks. Every day is either a scolding or a scolding. The rice grains fell to the ground and were scolded, and they were scolded when they accidentally tripped while walking. The most memorable moment was one time, when I was eating in front of my house with a bowl, a vicious dog rushed towards me, and I was so frightened that I ran away. The bowl fell to the floor, and the rice dish was scattered on the floor. My uncle picked up his pole and threw it at me. Grandma and aunt were watching. Neighbors watched the excitement from the sidelines. My soul was scared away, where can I care about the bowl. The bowl fell on the mud floor and was not broken. It's just that I can't eat the rice dish. In this way, my uncle still looks like he hates me to death. I thought, you TM kill me, anyway, I've had enough of this kind of life. At that time, it was my grandfather who pounced on me and saved me under my uncle's burden. My grandfather was my only source of warmth. He would secretly hide good food for me and tell me stories. He never comforted me with anything, but I could feel that he was good to me. I also relied on that bit of goodness to support. ”

Shu Wan's words became ethereal: "Sometimes, I really can't hold on. I thought, it's better to die. If there is reincarnation after death, maybe you will be able to have a good birth in the next life. That year, we were hit by a rare flood. That flood changed the fate of many people, including mine. I met the source of my strength. ”

Qi Tong pricked up his ears and listened. He knew that Shu Wan was telling the deepest secret in her heart, her-Xu Cheng.

Shu Wan continued: "The boy's name is Xu Cheng, and both parents died in the flood. At that time, he was in the second grade of elementary school. At that time, I was wondering how to die. The flood inspired me. I think it's a good way to die by pretending to be swept away by the flood. It was at that time that I found Xu Cheng by the reservoir, the melancholy Xu Cheng. He just sat there, motionless and watched the flood. I think he should be the person who wants to die the most. Perhaps, you can make an appointment with him to die, so that there is a companion on the Huangquan Road. That's how I started to pay attention to him. I found that he was like a helpless grass, but he was growing strong. His living conditions are worse than mine. After all, he was an orphan. He lived with his uncle's family. His uncle doted on him. But my uncle had only one child and no son. It is conceivable that in this case, he has become a thorn in the side and a thorn in the flesh of his aunt and cousin. They fear that one day, he will fight his cousin over the family property. ”

Speaking of this, Shu Wan's expression softened and said, "From elementary school to junior high school, we are all in the same class. The two of us are among the best in the class. In all grades, too. When the grades were good at the beginning, some people would gossip that girls had such good grades and would use them for a ball, and they would have to get married sooner or later anyway. But as the times have changed, the psychology of some people has also quietly changed. Xu Cheng and I, because we both have good grades, and slowly, the living environment has also improved. We secretly agreed to take the entrance examination to Rock Mountain Middle School together. Iwayama Middle School is our key high school, and as long as you are admitted to Iwayama Middle School, you will have one foot in the university. At that time, in the countryside, college students were still very popular. If someone's family has a college student, it will be a matter of green smoke coming from the ancestral grave. We worked hard, and without tutorials and good teachers, we had to figure it out and work our own. ”

Shu Wan smiled lightly, very proud, and said, "In the mid-term examination that year, he and I both got close to full scores. Our teachers say it's unique. The third place is 50 points worse than us. ”

Her eyes darkened, and she said, "When we were looking forward to leaving the countryside and looking forward to a new life together, cold water poured down on our heads. My parents took me to Wangcheng despite my objections. Xu Cheng was taken out of the country by his little uncle. I was in Wangcheng, and I wasn't happy to stay. I had good grades, but my personality was awkward and unsociable, and everyone didn't like me, and they found a point to attack me. My rock mountain - no, Shujiazhuang Mandarin. I was laughed at every day. My mom was very aggressive and always forced me to do things I didn't like to do, and if I didn't listen, I would lose my temper and cry in front of me. Such days lasted for half a year. I had the feeling of being back in my childhood. I was very depressed and helpless against everything around me. ”

Shu Wan's tone paused and said, "But I know that I can't give up." I survived it when I was young, and when I was so old, I was naturally more able to survive. I thought, if only I had the financial means, it would be fine. I look forward to the day when Xu Cheng and I can reunite and continue our relationship. I think he must be waiting for me somewhere in the world. I waited until I was in my thirties, and when Xu Cheng came, he told me personally that he had already married and had very big children. It's no less than a slap in the face. But thankfully, I was able to take it. Big deal, lonely old age. ”

Everyone listened and sighed.

Shu Wan said: "In this life, I am very grateful to these people. My grandfather, Xu Cheng, and Qi Tong. Without them, I don't know how I would have survived the low points of my life. Now, there is another Shen Fangsheng, who is my savior. For them, I will be good to them with my heart and lungs. But other people, including my parents, I really couldn't really get close. My mother once said that she said that I was cold by nature. I used to feel wronged, but now I feel that she is quite right. My heart, when I was a child, had been refined into stones in a dunghill, smelly and hard. ”

Shu Wan took a sip of water and continued: "I often think, if I didn't have good grades, if I didn't have good jobs, where would I be now? Perhaps, it should have fallen early. After all, in the countryside, there are more children who have lost their minds to study early, regardless of gender. I'm good-looking. I've been developing since I was in the fifth grade of elementary school. In the sixth grade, I am already very tall, and my feminine characteristics are more obvious. There are boys in the mixed society who are angry and start blocking me in various ways, on the way to and from school. I was panicked at first, but later I realized that as long as I ignored them, they would look for another target. That's when I learned to put a cold face on boys and not take anything they said to heart. I'll go around them and keep going. If you can't get around, stop and look down at the tip of your shoe. They didn't dare to really do anything to me, after all, my grades were there, and I also had my grandmother, uncle, and cousin behind me. ”

Shu Wan looked up at Whisna and said, "Have you thought about such a day?" If you were me, where would you be now? Don't tell me that I kicked you. If it was really me who kicked you, and it was also fate, who can blame? At that time, I was just a pile of meat with only the desire to survive. I used to think countless times, since my parents couldn't take care of me, why did they give birth to me? I'd rather not be born. I don't know what kind of life you're living. But I guess it's no worse than me, right? Your adoptive parents were in a car accident and gone, and no one wants that. But that's not a reason why you can be willful. You feel that your life is not good because Qi Tong is not in love with you. What about me? I love Xu Cheng, Xu Cheng also loves me, aren't we still destined? The person I've been thinking about for so long is not someone else's husband?! ”

Wheatna bowed her head and remained silent.

Shu Wan made a straight face and said, "I don't know what others have said to you for brainwashing. But I'm your sister, whether it's my own sister or cousin, here I am, you're one of my sisters. If you make a mistake, I will forgive you once or twice, but I will not tolerate you forever. My heart is cold. Impostor is such a thing, you have done it once, forget it. If I do it a second time, I will definitely not let you go so easily. You can go to Kyoto now. Dare to suspend school, Guo Minzhao really gave you the courage of an ambitious leopard. How can a person make a living without a skill? Where do you get your down-to-earth satisfaction? A lifetime is too long. ”

"He wouldn't let me go so easily," Wheatna said. ”

"Are you and your brother-in-law vegetarians?" Shu Wan said.

"Haven't you been tricked yet?" Whisna retorted.

"If we hadn't trusted you too much, do you think they would have succeeded?" Shu Wan sneered.