Seeing this, Cao Juying stroked Hao Jiali's face and said, "Child! Grandma knows that you are sensible and understands the difficulties of adults, but you can't support your family, you can't raise it and you can't raise it, so when you grow up, okay? Now this burden will be handed over to grandma first. ”

"No! Grandmother! Hao Jiali remembered that her grandmother used the method of begging.

Hao Jiali has seen two outsiders in the village who come to the village to beg all year round, this kind of person wears patched clothes, carries a cloth bag on his shoulder, holds a bowl in his hand, and is unkempt.

Hao Jiali knew that her grandmother was almost fifty years old, and she couldn't run away from the dog, and her grandmother would definitely be bitten by the dog and die if she couldn't be healed.

Hao Jiali heard adults say that there were people in the production team who were bitten by dogs and could not be cured and died, and also heard that this person howled like a dog when he died, and scratched his hands on the wall, scratched his nails, and his fingers were bleeding.

And this symptom is called rabies in this era, but at the end of the seventies, there was no rabies vaccine in the countryside, and there was no serum, and people who were bitten by dogs could only die of madness, Hao Jiali had no father's love, Hao Jiali didn't want to lose her grandmother, and her grandmother was the person who loved her the most in the world.

"Lots of dogs in these villages, grandma! If you are bitten by a dog, you will die, my brother and I are afraid of dogs, grandma! If we think of a way, we will always come up with something else. Hao Jiali said timidly.

"Don't be afraid, child! Grandma used a stick to chase the dogs for you and your brother, and the dogs couldn't bite you both. Cao Juying gently patted Hao Jiali's shoulder to comfort Hao Jiali.

"I'm still afraid." Hao Jiali snorted: "Grandma! I don't want to go with you, even if you chase the dog with a stick but you can't finish it, there are not only one or two dogs in each village, like there are several dogs in our village, one dog barks when he sees the living, and the other dogs all rush over when they hear the sound, grandma! What should we do when a whole bunch of dogs surround us? We couldn't run away if we wanted to, I didn't go, I was afraid that all three of us would be bitten by dogs. ”

"Oh, I didn't expect that." Cao Juying nodded and said, "You're right, Lili!" There are more dogs, we can't do anything, plus the people in every village don't want these to come to beg, everyone can't eat enough, how can there be rice to give to beggars, many children in the village see beggars are swarming to drive beggars, and also put the dog that will bite people with a rope at home to bite people. Cao Juying paused when she said this, she looked at Hao Jiali's sister and brother and said helplessly: "The villagers would rather give the food they picked out of their mouths to the monks who came to the village in the temple than to the beggars, and grandma's method will not work." ”

"The monk who came to the village to make a fortune?" Hao Jiali asked her grandmother.

"Yes, the old people in the village all say that worshipping God and worshipping the Bodhisattva God and the Bodhisattva will bless people with good health, promotion and wealth." Hao Jiali saw the longing in her grandmother's eyes when she said this.

Hao Jiali retracted her eyes, then pouted and said, "I don't believe in God, grandma!" Every year, the monks who come to the village are fat heads and big ears, all of them are fat and full of oil, they give them all the things they get from the villagers' homes, they are gods and Bodhisattvas, grandma, you adults are fooled, you go to sacrifice rice and dry food to raise monks, monks don't have to work, don't go to the production team to work, babble every day, chant scriptures, knock on wooden fish, hit the bell have food. ”

Hao Jiali said this because Cao Juying took Hao Jiali to the worship day, and Hao Jiali had seen the vastness of the worship scene in the temple.

Hao Jiali grew up to know that the sacrificial activities in the temple in her hometown are the only beliefs of the villagers, but they are also ignorant beliefs, how can there be any gods in this world, if you pray to God and worship Buddha can seek money and wealth, peace and health, then everyone in this world has money, are strong, no disease and no pain, and human beings will not have wars and plunders because of poverty, let alone disease and death.

But Cao Juying didn't take Hao Jiali's words to heart, Cao Juying said to Hao Jiali very reverently: "Lili! Don't say that, it's not good for the Bodhisattva to hear this, and the Bodhisattva will sin against us. ”

Jiali pouted and said, "Grandma! What are you afraid of, the Bodhisattva is in the temple and can't hear what we say. ”

"Forget it, don't say it's useless." Cao Juying didn't discuss this issue with Hao Jiali, she brought up the topic of how to support Hao Jiali's family just now, Cao Juying frowned and said, "Lili! Grandma's method doesn't work anymore, you say, what can you do with your mother and son in the future? Is it really for you to starve to death, grandma is reluctant to let you and your brother be. ”

Hao Jiali comforted Cao Juying and said, "Grandma! Don't worry, let me think about it first, I won't think of a way so quickly now, I'll have a way in a few days, grandma, wait and see. ”

"What can you do? How big are you, we adults can't think of a way to blow up our heads, with your little head, alas! There is no hope. ”

After Cao Juying sighed, she also learned from Chen Feng to complain about Hao Jiali's father: "Hao Guang, you uncompetitive child, what tricks are you playing?" You're also thirty years old, why are you still so ignorant? There must be a limit to your bad conscience when you leave your wife and children, your monthly salary is so high, you don't repay me for the kindness of giving birth to you in October, you can do your duty as a husband and a father? You are at ease outside, and these few people in the family are about to starve to death, why is your heart so ruthless? Our Hao family has never produced such an unfilial descendant as you for generations, who are you like in our Hao family? Are you still not my own? ”

Cao Juying burst into tears as she spoke.

Hao Jiali no longer cried with Cao Juying at this time, Hao Jiali let her grandmother sit alone on the ground and wipe her tears while talking.

Because from this moment on, Hao Jiali has to find a way.

Hao Jiali forced herself to think about it even if she couldn't think of a way, until she came up with a way, and only when she figured out a way out could this family have a way out, and if she couldn't think of a way, there was really only a dead end.

Hao Jiali didn't want to die.

Hao Jiali wants to live, wants to wait for herself to grow up, wants to go to the city to see what her father looks like when she grows up, wants to question her father face-to-face at that time, why did she give her life, and then let her little life live like a weed in the field, and let her life be destroyed by the wind and rain of nature like a weed.

Hao Jiali even thought that when she figured out a way to get through this difficult time, then she would stand in front of her father with her head held high, give her father a look of contempt and contempt, and say to her father in a disdainful tone: "You are not worthy of being my father!" You are not worthy to be a mother's husband! You don't deserve to be grandma's son! "Blah blah.

In short, Hao Jiali must let his father understand how unbearable he is, how selfish he is, and how irresponsible he is to this family, and Hao Jiali finally wants his father to repent and wake up, make his father ashamed, and let his father know that this family will not fall like him.

Hao Jiali wants to get back from her father everything he owes to this family over the years.