That year, I intervened and set up, but I had nothing, and in order to make a living, my friend asked me to go with him to teach at a private school. My friend told me that the private school is preparing to recruit a new group of teachers, and now I can use the private school as a training camp and a springboard. I had no choice but to go to that private school with my friend.

When I first went to that private school, my impression was not satisfactory. I'm used to the hustle and bustle of city life, and the private school is so remote that you can't even find a public toilet along the way, and you can go to the toilet anywhere. After a few days in school, my heart was almost bursting. My friend saw my mood and persuaded me to stay patiently for a few more days, and soon he was about to give a lecture on stage, and asked me to listen to his lectures for a few days to help him find out his shortcomings. I had no intention of staying at this school, but I couldn't refuse my friend's request. In the next few days, I accompanied my friend to listen to other teachers' lectures and helped my friend analyze the strengths and weaknesses of some teachers. Gradually, I felt that some teachers were not complimented in their knowledge level and teaching methods, and that such teachers could teach these poor and lovely children to jump out of the farm? In the past few days, I seem to feel a little bit of a change in myself. At this time, my friend advised me again to seek food here for the time being, and slowly plump my feathers, and it is not too late to leave this place when the opportunity is suitable. Next, my friend started to teach on stage after the successful trial lecture, and I still listened to the class with my friend, and sometimes helped my friend arrange homework.

One day, my friend went to class, and I was lying in his bedroom reading a book to pass the boredom. When I didn't get half of the class, my friend suddenly came back and asked me that there was a teacher who had an urgent matter and wanted to resign immediately. I hesitated for a while, and my friend said that the school would always come in person after school and asked me to think about it seriously, and then my friend went out to class again. One morning, I didn't know what I had thought about, but after school in the morning, I actually agreed to the school's general question. From that day on, I became an engineer of the human soul that I had never designed for myself.

The children of the village were enlightened late, and they have not seen anything in the world, my every move in their eyes is a little like a madman can not be understood, I am good at singing and dancing, whenever I am free, the song does not leave the mouth, and the feet are always like a pair of springs, although I am a stranger, the children are very willing to accept me, and the teacher calls me affectionately "Lao Wang" when he is out of class, and he refuses to leave after me, they want me to teach them to sing and dance, I really became the "child king". It was in the middle of this that I gradually became calmer.

One day, my friend suddenly told me a piece of news that I couldn't believe.

"Lao Wang, have you noticed that there is a girl in junior high school who pays special attention to you, I find that every time she looks at you with strange eyes, that look ...... It's definitely sending a message – she's in love with you. My friend said very seriously.

"Don't talk nonsense!" I solemnly warned my friend, "These junior high school students are still children. ”

"It's flowers, and they'll always bloom." Seeing me like this, my friend let out a long breath, "Do you know that the junior high school students here are all about twenty years old, and they are all in adolescence. ”

"We are teachers, they are students. Although we don't teach junior high school, our identity is that of teachers, and their identity is that of students, and there is a line in between. "I also know that the children here are late in school, but I know very well who I am now, no matter how long I will be on this podium.

In the days that followed, I tried to avoid this girl and try not to appear in her sight. One night near the end of the semester, I was doing my homework in my dorm room when a girl knocked on the door and came in. I looked at her in surprise and asked her what was the matter. She told me very generously that someone was looking for me. I asked her who was looking for me and what was going on with me. She said she didn't know what was going on, and asked me to go out.

I expected things to come, and dodging wasn't the best way to solve the problem. I followed the girl out of the dormitory.

The girl took me to a very dark corner, she pointed with her hand and said that there was someone waiting for me there, and then she turned and left. I walked in the direction she was pointing, and sure enough, there was a girl standing there.

"It's so late and you don't rest, and you have to go to class tomorrow?" I asked seriously, "What's the matter with me?" ”

"Nothing." The girl replied with some reserve, "I want to give you something." As she spoke, she took out a bag from behind her and handed it over.

"What's that?" I took a step back alertly.

"We'll find out when we go back." The girl's hand didn't retract.

I didn't pick up the girls' stuff.

"Teacher Wang, let me ask you something, are you married?" The girls are very straightforward.

I didn't expect that. But every teacher in the school knew I was still single. I didn't answer this girl.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" The girl handed me what she was holding.

I'm a little crying and laughing, this girl is too direct, right?

"I know you're not married and you don't have a girlfriend......" the girl affirmed.

"You girl, it's the teacher's business......"

"You are not my teacher, because you don't teach me, ...... in my heart"

"Are you a student at this school?"

"Yes."

"Am I a teacher at this school?"

"Yes. But it's not my teacher, and in my heart you're not my teacher. The girl said stubbornly.

"Is there anything else you can do?" I really didn't expect this girl to be so straightforward, and I was worried that I would lose the line of defense in my heart after talking to her for a long time, after all, I am a thirty-year-old man who is not married. I want to get out of this place as soon as possible, out of this girl as soon as possible.

"From now on, I won't call you teacher anymore, I will call you Lao Wang......" The girl shoved into my hand what I didn't take, and then turned around and ran.

Looking at her back in the dark, I felt a little difficult to ride a tiger. Back in the dorm, I opened the bag and it turned out to be a pair of pants that she bought with me...... This girl!

A few times later, she asked me to go to her place and said she had something to say to me. I refused for various reasons, after all, she is still a child, and she still has to study after all...... I watched everything about myself carefully.

On the last day before the summer vacation, maybe because my teaching method was not accepted by the school, or maybe because of my affair with this girl, I was fired by the school. After completing the paperwork with the school, I started to pack up, and just then, this girl came to my dormitory and told me very dryly that the school had fired me and that she was no longer going to school. I sensed the seriousness of the problem, I thought she would take her mind back if she rejected her a few times, I was wrong. I looked at her and said I had something else to do. Actually, I didn't have anything to do, so I prevaricated her, and I packed up and slipped away. She said she could wait for me to get things done, and she had a lot more to say to me. With that, she turned around and went out and waited for me at the door of my bedroom.

I know I can't slip away this time, so it's okay to explain to her at this time, and I can count it as a final explanation to her.

She waited at my door all afternoon, and at dinner, I bought some instant noodles from her in the small shop and asked her to cope with me for her last dinner at this school. At this moment, the school president came to call me, saying that no matter what, the teachers at the school would get together and have a final meal together. I seem to have figured out an excuse to get her back. She didn't squeak and didn't move. I thought maybe I should go back from dinner with the other teachers. I walked out of the dorm.

At the dinner table, the school president tactfully explained to me the reason for my dismissal. I can hear why I was fired, just like my friend's judgment: it was so tight that the students couldn't stand it, and the school couldn't stand it. I smiled wryly and said nothing. By the time the meal was over, it was close to one o'clock in the morning. I went back to my dorm room, and the girl was still standing in my doorway.

"Let's go, don't you have a lot to say to me, let's go out and have a walk." I didn't dare to leave her in the dormitory to talk, because a man and a woman in the middle of the night would cause misunderstanding.

The girl followed me out of my dormitory. In the middle of nowhere, there are no parks, only fields, and she followed me to the fields outside the village. The wind in the fields was blowing gently, and the insects in the fields were chirping one after another.

"Lao Wang, I want to go with you tomorrow." She said unabashedly.

"What are you doing with me? You're still young, you're still studying, and you shouldn't be thinking about these things now. ”

"Go to your house. I'm not young anymore, I'm already an adult. She defended, "With you gone, I don't have the heart to study anymore." ”

"Since you are not young, since you are an adult, you should know very well what you should be doing now. Taking a step back, I promised you to come with me to my house, did you think about some of the problems you have to face? The biggest problem is that you will be a farmer for the rest of your life, will you spend your whole life around two acres of thin land, and will live like other rural women for the rest of your life, are you willing? Even if you are willing, I will never be steady in my heart for the rest of my life. Do you know how much older I am than you? Maybe you can't think about it now, and one day you'll regret it......"

"I don't regret it!" Girls are stubborn.

"No, it's not that I'm hurting you, I'm trying to persuade you, what is not decided by brain fever. Whatever it is, wait until you've thought it all before making a decision. If you want to go to my house, you can go to my house, tomorrow you can find a classmate to accompany you, play at my house for two days and then come back. "Actually, I really don't want her to go to my house. But on second thought, it would not be a good thing for her to go to my house to have a look, and the shabby family background might have scared her away.

"I told you not to laugh at me, in fact, when you go back every week, I want to follow you. Ever since you came to this school, I can't tell why, I always want to look at you every day. "Girls don't shy away from it at all.

"I know I made a good impression on you. Actually, I'm not as good as you see. I still advise you that your most important task now is to study and do your best to change your destiny in the future. I respect your mood and I appreciate your mood. If you really have that kind of thought, study it now, and you won't be able to say it in the future...... You will have new ideas, new plans, and maybe one day I will really agree with you. I knew it was impossible to change his mind at once, and to give her an ambiguous answer might make her try to change her outlook with a hallucination. I roughly calculated that if she can go to college, it will be at least seven or eight years after she graduates from college, and then she may have a new perspective on life and love, and she may laugh at her current naivety.

"You talk counts?"

"Of course it counts." I can't deny that this is a prevarication promise to her, because I know that a person will change with his growth background and experience, and when a person has changed, he will have a new understanding and perspective on everything in the past.

That night, I talked to her until almost dawn. During this conversation, I always encouraged her to read and change. She seemed to agree with me as well.

The next morning, my friend had other work to do, so I left the school alone. As soon as I walked out of the school gate, I found her waiting in front of me. Oh my God, this girl is too stubborn...... aren't she? I also saw another girl beside her, the one who called me out for the first time.

"Teacher Wang, Lu Hua and I are welcome to play at your house?" The girl who called me out for the first time said hello to me generously.

"This ...... Welcome, welcome, of course welcome. "I know that this girl may not be willing to go to my house, but Lu Hua just called a companion.

"Lu Hua woke me up before dawn." The girl complained, "I was very happy when I heard that I was going to Mr. Wang's house to play." If I go somewhere else, I really don't want to accompany her. ”

I could tell that there was irrepressible joy on Lu Hua's face.

We walked several kilometers of country roads all the way to the county seat and passed by my private bus. I don't know what the two girls said in private along the way, I only saw Lu Hua's joy and happiness.

Got out of the car and entered my house, which is not considered home, Lu Hua hesitated. In her imagination, my house shouldn't be like this, even if it's just an ordinary courtyard, it shouldn't be dilapidated. However, she soon regained the joy and happiness on her face. She asked me all sorts of things. I talked to her about the past, about the present, but I didn't tell her about my future, because I couldn't predict my future. In the countryside, where there was nowhere to go except the fields, two girls watched the 14-inch black-and-white TV and chatted with me. The girl who came with Lu Hua should know Lu Hua's thoughts very well, and she rarely interjects between me and Lu Hua. Even when I speak occasionally, I always tell jokes about me and Lu Hua.

After lunch, I persuaded Lu Hua and the girl to take a lunch break, after all, she didn't sleep much last night, and so did I. After convincing them, I dragged a reed mat to the shade of the tree outside. Soon, I was asleep. When I woke up, I found Lu Hua sitting next to me. She was looking at me with satisfaction, and when she woke up, she smiled. I can't deny it, I'm excited about Lu Hua, but I force myself not to show it, because I can't let her future be ruined in my hands.

In the afternoon, they still watch TV. I sat alone outside the house in the shade and thought about it a lot......

I couldn't let them stay in the house all the time, and after dinner, before I could speak, Lu Hua suggested going out for a walk. The girl who came with her smiled and said that going out for a walk was my business with Lu Hua, she didn't want to be the light bulb between the two of us, and her task was to watch TV.

"See, this is my home." I distanced myself from her.

"For the time being, everything will be fine." She didn't seem to care about my current family situation.

After walking for a while, we sat down by a small river. I was always wary of the distance between me and her.

Lu Hua was a little calmer than before she came to my house, and I hope her thoughts at this time will be as I designed them to be. In many cases, poverty can put a stop to many great ideas, wither many beautiful illusions, and let many passions escape.

"Do you remember what you told me last night?" She asked me suddenly.

"Yes, of course I do."

"That's good." She said in a deep voice, "I also believe that one day in the future you will not be married and will not have a girlfriend." ”

"With this family background, I didn't expect to be able to get married." I regretted this sentence, how could I talk like that, isn't this a hint to her? "That's it, I'll send you back tomorrow, and I didn't say hello to your family here, and the family will definitely be worried at this time."

"No, I've already asked my classmates to tell my family, saying that I'm going to play with my classmates for two days." She said, "You know, I have revealed my heart to my mother, but I didn't say it was me, but it was a classmate of mine, and I asked my mother what she thought, and my mother said that the marriage of children in this society is not at home to their parents. ”

I always thought she was impulsive, and I really didn't think that she had been "premeditated for a long time". Since she said this, I no longer shied away from anything: "That is, I promised you what was in my heart, but what should I do to you now?" Who am I to promise you? I really appreciate you now, and I cherish your feelings. But now you and I are not qualified to talk about this. Your task now is to study, and my task now is to create capital for yourself. If there is such a fate between us, in another ten or twenty years, we will come together. Now, you and I are going to face this calmly, give ourselves a while, and then talk about it when we all understand. Tomorrow, whether you blame me or not, I must send you back. ”

……

The next day, after breakfast, I put them both on the private bus back to their house. That summer, there was always something moving in my heart for no reason. After the start of the school year, I was picked up by another private school. The task given to me by this private credit is very heavy, and I have no time to think about other things in my busy schedule, but every weekend, there is still some bad feeling in my heart, and many times, I still think of the "love" between me and Lu Hua that has not even held hands. Later, as time passed, as the pressure increased, I got married, and this was already the fourth year since I separated from Lu Hua. The days after marriage were not as sweet and flavorful as I imagined, and many times I still lived alone.

One weekend, when I had just returned to school, the school president asked me what was going on at home. I wondered, there's nothing going on at home? When I came home on Friday, my wife lived at her mother's house, and I lived in my own house, while the sun circled the earth twice peacefully, without explosion or fission.

"On Friday night a woman called you, and I asked who she was, and she said it was your lover, and I told her you were going home, and she left the phone. Your wife didn't go back. Mrs. Principal also wondered, "If your wife calls, should she go back?" Mrs. Chancellor shook her head.

The days went by like this, day after day, and later, I was forced out of my house because of debt, and I came to this unaccompanied Tianjin Tanggu alone. In this place, we are engaged in development and construction, and it is easier to earn money than at home. Although there is no way to make a lot of money, it is still much more convenient to earn a small amount of money than at home. In this way, a person goes out early and returns late in this place that is gradually familiar to him, and in this way, he gradually gets used to enduring loneliness and loneliness in this bright place. Just after the start of last year's summer vacation, I suddenly received a phone call. I never thought it would be Lu Hua, after so many years......

"What now?" Out of courtesy, I asked perfunctorily. At that time, she stood vividly in my heart many years ago, and my heart moved like that many years ago.

"I didn't expect it, I'm also a teacher." She seemed relaxed on the other end of the phone.

"Good, good, good! ...... "I don't know if I'm excited or dazed, and I'm a little incoherent.

"How are you out there?"

"Make do, make do." I didn't know how to answer her.

"Pay more attention to your body when you're outside."

"Got it, got it......"

The first call was just a few greetings to each other, and then our calls became more frequent and longer. From the phone call, I learned that the phone call that made me and the school president wonder was from her.

"I wrote you a letter before that phone call and you didn't receive it?" She was also puzzled on the phone.

"Nope." I really haven't heard from her.

"After we separated, I moved to another school. Then I went to a junior college, and after I went to college, I wanted to tell you the news, but I didn't know where you were, and I asked a lot of classmates to find out your address, and I wrote you a letter that day. There has been no reply to the letter when it was sent, and I asked someone to ask for the phone number of your school. I made that call, and I knew I was one step late. After that, I made friends with others, but I was reluctant to accept them. After graduating, I came to this school, and I thought I would see you again at this school, and when I got to the school, they told me that you quit a few years ago. Her tone was no longer as relaxed as the previous phone calls, "Do you remember how many years we knew each other?" Nine years......"

Nine years, am I committing a crime against her? When I met her, she was just eighteen years old, nine years have passed, and a twenty-seven-year-old girl is still reluctant to find a boyfriend, whose fault is it?

"I'm sorry, let's find someone to marry." What else can I say.

"You're not sorry, it's my own will."

"You can't just drag it out." I'm sorry, but I'm a family man after all.

"Isn't that nice? Every day after work, I have nothing to do to read a book and embroider cross-stitch. It's so comfortable. ”

Will she be as comfortable as she says she is?

"I'm going to play with you during the winter vacation, and I'll give you another surprise then."

"Bring your boyfriend here." I really hope she'll find a good boyfriend right now.

"Don't you say that?" She seemed to be in a hurry.

I stopped talking to her about it, and the wound in her heart was probably the ...... I stabbed. I want to give her a result, give her an explanation, but where is my home, where is my wife?

During the winter vacation, she didn't come because the weather in the north was too cold.

This summer, she came here for a few days. I found that her appearance has not changed, but I always feel that her words and deeds reveal too many vicissitudes. A girl who is not yet thirty years old, why is this like this?

The day I saw her off, my heart hurt all the time, and I really wanted to hug her well, but her eyes made me feel a kind of desperate indifference. What can I do for her?