"Did you give me a chance?"

"What's the use of what I said?"

Doudou smiled bitterly and wiped a handful of tears: "I will always be wrong, you will always be right." You made a big mistake by giving birth to me, and I was a failure in your life. You can live well without me. After you divorced my dad, the most I heard was, 'It's not easy for mom, girl, you have to be angry.'" So, so, I feel that I am a burden to you, that I am causing your misfortune. ”

"No, no!" Wang Yazhi's tears were like beads with broken threads, and she wanted to explain, but those words stuck in her throat and couldn't be said at all.

"I don't want to see you, you go out!" gave the eviction order, and Wang Yazhi couldn't stay in front of her daughter. Wiping a handful of tears, he walked out of the room, sat on the sofa in the living room, and kept reflecting on whether he had done something wrong all these years.

After thinking about it in the living room all night, Wang Yazhi's ears were full of crying and crying. The words swirled in my mind and stabbed in my heart. Overnight, Wang Yazhi seemed to be ten years old.

At dawn, Wang Yazhi got up and walked out of the house. I came to the morning market and bought fresh pork liver and red dates to go home. Boil a pot of nutritious red dates and wolfberry porridge for Doudou, and fry a plate of pork liver.

Carrying the food into the room and placing it at the head of her bed. Looking at her emaciated daughter, I couldn't help but tears flowed out again.

Looking at Doudou's closed eyes, her eyes kept rolling, she knew that Doudou had woken up but didn't want to see herself.

Mom reflected all night, going back and forth about the past 20 years. Wang Yazhi reached out to touch the uninjured hand in the pocket, and the slender fingers didn't know when they became rough. The originally tender skin has large and small knife marks on it, and it can be seen that this is a wound left by cooking usually.

"Mom has to be strong all her life, and she refuses to let others say no. Back then, because my family didn't look down on your father, I was holding back my strength and must live no worse than others. Your grandfather died early, and it was not easy for your grandmother to be a widow. I'm in charge of the house when I enter the door, and I'm in charge of it inside and out. Wang Yazhi didn't feel sad when she talked about the past. Maybe the past that made her feel so painful has been relieved, and maybe the pain is not painful compared to her daughter.

"We'll just live like this, but you can't. The quality of education in rural areas is poor, and everyone's awareness cannot keep up. If you go to school in the countryside, you won't be able to finish junior high school. Even if I force you to provide for you to study, the people around you are not willing to be motivated, and you will not be motivated in that environment. Wang Yazhi sighed: "You may say that I am too one-sided." But that's how your dad was, and that's how our family was at the time. All the people want to be stable, and when the farm is busy, they can farm and make money. At that time, I bought some money for your aunt to make dried fish, and the neighbors around me gossiped a lot. Later, when I opened a shop to make cakes, the long-tongued women who chewed the root of their tongues said that I did not keep women's morals. A woman who does her duty can't make money, and a rural woman should revolve around the pot at home. ”

Speaking of this, Wang Yazhi sneered: "When others say this, your father believes it." In the winter, when I went to load the goods, there were pots of fish outside, and my hands were all frostbite. The fishy smell of sleeping in the open is just to earn two dollars a piece. Your dad sees it in his eyes, he doesn't feel distressed, and your grandmother doesn't feel distressed. They know that it is not easy to make money, but they are not willing to spend it on us. In the end, let me decide to divorce him, again because of you. ”

Hearing this, Doudou opened his eyes. Looking at his mother's face, he said faintly, "Because grandma wants a boy." ”

"Yes!" Wang Yazhi nodded, looking at Doudou with a look of dissatisfaction: "I can give birth, the question is what if I give birth, what if they don't love you anymore?

Wang Yazhi's worries became true, and after Yu Daming's second marriage, he did not care about Doudou anymore. The cost of living is almost none, and two dollars are spent on one for three years and five years. Buying a dress for the New Year is equivalent to giving New Year's money!

These Wang Yazhi have always been haunted, and every time she sees Yu Daming playing a loving father, she feels disgusted. Even if she is unwilling to deliberately smear Yu Daming in front of Doudou, Doudou can't forget the grievances she suffered when she went to Yu Daming for the New Year.

"You and I are with you, and my mother is not doing a lot of things well. I don't want you to suffer what I've suffered, and I'm afraid that if you don't suffer, you will suffer in the future. I don't have the courage of your aunt, I can't afford to lose. When Wang Yazhi talked about these years, the corners of her eyes began to moisten.

"Mom is a person who is not blessed, and Mom also wants to be as gentle and understanding as your aunt. But mom can't do it!" Wang Yazhi raised her head, her eyes were red: "There is no one behind my mother, no one to support me, no, not one." My aunt has a grandfather, and she is at least protected by her father. What about Mom? You saw it, Mom took you back to your parents' house, and your aunts and uncles didn't look down on you, and they fell into pots and pots after staying for a long time. After your mother has money, your uncle will borrow money today and your uncle will borrow money tomorrow. Your grandma is sick, call me first and ask me to go to the hospital with the money. But what about when my mother has no money? My brother, who will help my parents?

Doudou has never seen Wang Yazhi complain, and she never said these words. She always thought that her home was very warm. The uncles loved themselves very much, just as the uncles of Xiangmille loved her.

"Your aunt has no scruples and can do whatever she wants, that's because she has that capital. Her maiden father spoils her, and her husband is used to it. From the day she got married, Huo An gave her a discounted salary. Even if she is angry with her mother-in-law, your sister-in-law has never been sad about the money all her life. The man died, and her career was getting better and better. remarried with two children, she also has the ability to let Gu Shen listen to her. The only son who was born can follow his mother's surname. Your mother doesn't have this ability, your mother really doesn't have it!"

Wang Yazhi cried and pounded the bed board: "Girl, life is different. Mom has secretly competed with your aunt in her heart for a lifetime, but I understood early on that I can't walk other people's roads. Mom also wants you to live like Mile, but you can't leave. ”

She covered her face and cried: "Mom has no ability, Mom also wants to find you a good father, and I also want one more person to love you." But, no, he can't hurt you. I can't let you be in that house, I can't!"

Speaking of her second husband, Wang Yazhi wiped a handful of tears. Take a deep breath: "My bottom line is you, I will be with him if I am good to you, and I will leave him if I am not good to you." It's that simple!"

She is also a first-time mother, and she has no experience to explore all the way. Mom also has grievances, mom also has negative energy, mom is not superhuman mom is not perfect at all.

But for such a flawed mother, the child is the armor she dares to overcome.