Chapter 01: Departure
The beginning of August 10754 in the holy calendar.
Isaac's neighboring kingdom of Fides borders on the eastern side of the Cazeisis Mountains.
The dense woods swayed gently in the wind.
The morning sun shone obliquely, and the sunlight sprinkled through the gaps in the leaves.
Felt hat, thick eyebrows, big eyes, big nose, a pimple on the nose, a broom-like beard, thick arms, a strong body, and, of course, a short height.
One hundred and ten years old, the dwarf with a mallet in his prime, is teaching his subordinates with a decent face.
"Robbers are a comprehensive profession, if you want to do a good job, it is absolutely not enough to know how to rob. There is no bandit gang in this world that can become bigger and stronger just by robbing. The most important thing is to improve the quality of customer service. Otherwise, why don't they let others rob them, but they want to be robbed by us?"
The dwarves nodded in agreement.
"Do you have any thoughts on improving the customer experience?"
A group of dwarves blinked and looked at him.
"I'm throwing this question at you in the hope that you'll use your brains. Our tribe can't always have my own brain. Come, everybody talk, rightly or wrongly. β
A cross-eyed dwarf raised his hand and said, "Maybe we can throw them an apple before the robbery." β
As he spoke, he had already begun to toss the apple, and his technique was quite slippery.
"It's a good idea, but for now we'll put it aside and think about it later. β
Another dwarf without front teeth raised his hand and said, "Maybe we can do a belly dance for them before the robbery." β
As he spoke, he lifted his clothes, revealing a fat belly with a painted face.
"Yes, yes, I think it's a good idea!"
"It's really amazing!"
"Belly dancing is the best dance for dwarves, so it can also show off our race!"
Bang Hammer said expressionlessly: "This idea is also very good, but put it aside for now, and we will consider it later." Any other ideas?"
The dwarves looked at him.
The stammering dwarf pulled out his nail clippers: "If you want it, or if you want it...... I'll fix their nails for them?"
The fat dwarf without a shirt found an orange from his crotch: "I can peel an orange for them." β
"I can peel a pear for them, but what if they don't like pears?"
"Or shall we give them a bath? I heard that humans love baths. Although I don't like to take a bath, I give it up for the sake of ideals!"
The dwarves came up with their own ideas, but the mallets were all disdainful.
He raised his hand to stop the noise of his men, and then slowly pulled out a ...... Bible from his coat pocket.
Yes, the Bible.
He said meaningfully: "This is the key to improving our customer experience." β
"What is this?" someone asked, raising his hand.
"This is the Bible!" said the mallet triumphantly, "From now on, we will try to influence them with love, so that they will willingly give up what is valuable." In this way, we can give them a good experience of being robbed. In this way, they will go down this path again and become our repeat customers!"
"Wow, Boss is so smart!" the dwarves sighed.
ββ!The dwarf with the bandage on his head rolled down the hill, yes, rolled down, and then hit the stone next to the mallet, and once again broke his head and bled out.
Hey, why do you say again?
In short, he couldn't control it with his bandages, and his head was still bleeding, so he struggled to stand up, pointed to the east and shouted: "Boss!
"Copy the ββ!," the roar of the mallet echoed through the mountains and forests.
The dwarves quickly the guys, with big shields, great axes, great hammers, muskets, and large maces. In short, each weapon is not proportional to their height.
"Departure ββ!"
"Snatch them ββ!"
"I'm so excited! I can rob again!"
The crazy dwarves followed the mallets and began to climb the mountain with cheers. The bandaged dwarf tried to follow, but was kicked off and hit the same stone again.
High mountains, sparse trees, and the figures of a group of dwarves desperately climbing up, looking from a distance, look like balls rolling upwards.
Soon, they came to the top of the mountain.
In front of them was a Silver Moon Banner and ...... An entire Order of the Silver Moon. Yes, a whole.
Gray and Shelley rode at the front, followed by Andrew, Karl, Jones, Dora, and a whole Knights of the Silver Moon in elite armor armed to the teeth. Further back, there were several wagons full of things.
Lying on the top of the mountain, the mallet's expression froze.
"Bandagesββ! bandages! Where's the fuck fucking fuck over here!"
The bandages that were still hurriedly wrapping bandages around the door of their heads crawled to the side of the mallet.
Pointing at the Silver Moon Knights in the distance, the mallet roared, "This is the fucking big customer you told me?!"
"Yes!"
"Fuck there are more of them than we are!"
"That's why it's big!" replied Bandage excitedly.
The mallet's expression froze again.
The bandage spread his hands and was still gesturing earnestly.
The dwarves next to them nodded their heads one after another, indicating that it was really big.
"But there are so many of them, what should we do?" finally had an opening with a little bit of brain.
"Don't be afraid, our boss has a secret weapon!"
"Yes, you can influence them with love!"
"That's it, we don't need to do it at all!" However, the voice with a brain was quickly overshadowed by the brainless one.
Everyone stared at the mallet with expectant eyes, and the corners of the mallet's mouth twitched.
The two sides were at a stalemate for a while, and the mallet coughed dryly twice, and said, "Regarding influencing them with love, I still need to prepare for this." After all, I only saw the third page of the Bible, and there were many words I didn't recognize. But it doesn't matter, force doesn't work, we can still outwit it!"
"Wow! that sounds cool!" exclaimed the dwarves.
......
Between the verdant mountains, the ranks of the Knights of the Silver Moon walked slowly.
Gray spread out the map and looked at it closely.
"The road is a little different from the map. There should have been a turn, but we didn't see a turn. β
"Will it be covered by weeds?" complained the black cat, "I'm going to tell you not to go this way." With this kind of path, anything can happen in a mess. We still used a map that we bought from 10 copper plates on a stall. β
"But this is a shortcut, and if we take the main road, we must go north around the whole Cazesses Mountains. That would have been many days longer. β
"Didn't you think that there might be all kinds of dangers on the path?"
"Danger?" Gray glanced back at his Knights.
"Well, I think 'danger' will actively walk around you, unless he doesn't have a brain. The black cat said helplessly.
"It's a hassle, but as long as you keep going west, you can't go wrong. Gray thought for a moment and said, "Maybe we should send someone to scout." β
"I'll go!" Vivien quickly volunteered in her mind, and then didn't speak again.
"Uh...... She's gone?" asked Gray in a whisper.
"Yes. Catherine replied.
Why is she so active now? She has been so active since she came back last time, and she often takes me with her to study the Bible. I even thought at one point that she had been influenced by me and had become a holy demon. However, the dark aura on her body did not change. β
"Who knows?"
"Maybe she's trying to pretend to be reformed first, and then induce you to fall. What a cunning demon. The black cat snickered: "Hehe, it's a pity, the black cat master has long seen everything and found that things are not simple." She's not going to make it!"
Before he could say a word, Vivien, who was incredibly efficient, returned.
"Black cat, what are you talking about me while I'm away?"
"Uh...... No, I compliment you on your beauty. β
"Really?"
"Of course, this is a sincere compliment from the ghost. You should be confident in your beauty. β
"Forget it, write it down first, and I'll settle accounts with you later when I have the chance. Gray, I've checked, and the roads around us are a mess, and we're all the same whether we look at the map or not. A group of dwarves followed. β
"A bunch of dwarves, what are they doing with us?"
"I don't know, who cares about them. Do you care what the ants on your doorstep do? I don't care. Gray, don't you also know how to take off? I suggest you go to the Fides Royal Capital first, and let the others walk slowly! Anyway, you can get out sooner or later, right? If you follow them all the time, it will be a waste of time! The point is, it will affect your studies!"
"Uh...... But I'm not skilled in the arts. β
"It's okay, I can teach you the key secrets, and you'll be proficient in no time!"
Silence, silence for a long time.
Gray asked in a whisper, "Catherine, aren't you going to say something?"
"I'm thinking that the demon has said everything I want to say, what else can I say......"
"Are you in favor of doing that?"
"No, I don't approve, a demon is pushing so aggressively, there must be some conspiracy. β
"That's too much! you're looking at me like that!" exclaimed Vivien.
"What else do you want me to think of you? β
"Gray, don't listen to her! Think of the people who are waiting to be fed by the lion king!
"Huh...... That's not what you said before. I remember you describing them as forgetful, superficial, stupid, short-sighted philistine. He also said that such people deserve to starve to death. β
"Am I awake now?"
"No way!"
In the back of their minds, Vivien and Catherine were arguing again. Gray continued to ride forward without a word, turning his face sideways, Gray looked at Shelley, who was riding a horse beside him, and was harassed by mosquitoes and grimacing.
"Are you alright?" asked Gray.
Shelley hurriedly smiled and replied, "It's okay, I don't have anything." β
"Are you not used to being here, or are you too tired?"
"No, no, I don't feel tired at all by your side. β
The team continued to move slowly forward.
Behind them, a large group of dwarves shrank and followed in the distance. A pair of dark eyes blinked, like a pack of gophers.