October, the beginning of winter.

Chang'an ushered in the first snow of the year, a snow mega year. The court is very happy, and when it is happy, it likes to "do nonsense". Seeing the court messing around on the rivers and lakes, I was inexplicably very happy. Therefore, the winter of Chang'an is full of excitement with heavy snowfall.

In the heavy snow, the second master held a paper umbrella, and I hid under the umbrella.

I said, "Second master, you come in and cover it together."

The second master said: No, the umbrella is small.

I said, "The umbrella is small."

The second master said: I am large, and I can't squeeze enough.

I said, "Then I'll raise my own umbrella."

The second master said: No, freeze your hands.

......

There is a frozen river on the outskirts of the city, and a new batch of boats have been added to the river, and each boat is a painting pavilion and a magnificent building. It is said that all of them were ships issued by the imperial court, and they also carried business licenses. When the hour of the day came, everyone gathered around the shore, tiptoeing, tilting their heads, and staring at each other. I was caught in the crowd with the second master, and I couldn't move forward or retreat.

Everyone couldn't move, so they simply chatted.

A said, "Go to his uncle, why does the government only let women on the boat?"

Everyone nodded.

A said: Bah, Lao Tzu has money, who is rare.

B said: That is, the dirty work and tiring work are all done by our men, and these old ladies will be happy.

At this time, the men did not dare to speak, but the women became noisy.

The woman rolled up her sleeves and scolded hoarsely: You shameless thing, we women are busy at home, so we women have no credit?

The river is brightly lit. There is a war of words on the shore, and the war is raging.

The umbrella is still tightly held in the second master's hand, although it has changed shape a little.

The second master sighed: The one who is an official is good.

I said, "Fuck the official, there's no good thing."

The second master said: Well, what you said is right.

The next day, my second master and I dressed up as women and got on the official ship.

The officers and soldiers stopped me and left the second master.

I was not convinced and asked: Why can't I go in?

The officers and soldiers said: Your appearance is strange and scary.

I pointed to the second master and asked: Hey, hey, isn't he scary?

The officers and soldiers sneered: Although this little lady is a little strong, I like it.

There are always some people in the world whose tastes are unreasonable, even perverted.

In the end, the second master came back and led me home lonely.

The second master dusted off the snow on my body, quickly warmed a bowl of noodles for me, and thoughtfully stuffed a soup woman into my hand. Then, unhurriedly, he sat across from me with an ink-stained brush in his mouth.

I asked: What kind of play are you playing?

The second master said: Draw you.

I was surprised: Ah, you can still draw?

The second master said: So-so.

I said, "What do I do, hang it on your door to ward off evil spirits?"

The second master said: It's not enough to ward off evil spirits, at most it will repel insects.

I said, "There's a fart in the winter."

The second master stopped making a sound.

I was so angry that he concentrated on painting. Speaking of painting, I remembered that Master had also painted a portrait of me when I was a child, and I ended up stuffing it into the personnel file of the Valley of Despair. The senior brother who was in charge of sorting out the files said that all the personnel information in the Valley of Despair must contain a portrait of himself. Most of the portraits were made by the senior brother of the Valley of Despair, and there were also a few awesome characters painted by the valley lord himself.

I didn't expect that I was not only awesome, but also a character.

However, the senior brother also said: However, ordinary disciples will not ask the valley master to paint himself.

I asked why?

The senior brother said: The expression of the valley master is too abstract, and it is basically impossible to see who this person is.

Then, the senior brother took out my file and said, "Don't believe it, you see!

......