At the end of the year, I drank too much last night, and I didn't have a code word, so I asked for leave. For a bonus of two cents and five cents, he is also desperate.

Then I listened to a few jokes about slips of the tongue during the meal, and my stomach hurt from laughing, so I went through the jokes that I had saved before, and I still laughed until my stomach hurt. Drunk and misguided, hahahahaha.

1. When you are in high school, each person will be given a badge. Before coming to check once, the head teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, everyone put on their bras and come to Chara. The audience was silent...

2. Occasionally, while driving, a beautiful colleague hitchhiked a car, sat next to me, and even said nervously: Bring a condom! DEPRESSED

3. In the past, others came to my aunt's house as a guest, and they just entered the door. It just so happened that my aunt was going to the toilet. She hurriedly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, I'll pour you some urine and drink!" (originally said to pour some tea and drink).

4. During the internship, say to a teacher: Mr. Chen, is your surname Chen?

5. When I went to the factory for metalworking internship in college, the master worker said when assigning the machine tool: For the sake of safety, I try to ensure that a male classmate and a female classmate have a bed. All the boys laughed and the girls blushed. During the internship, almost all the work with the lathe was done by the girl who helped me to share the bed with the occasional (cold), and finally considering that she would not do anything, the master would not be very good at checking, and even persuaded her to practice her hands, who knew that she said: I am used to letting you do it. At that time, the occasional explosion was not stopped.

6. A friend went to a dumpling restaurant and asked, "How much is a bowl of dumplings (sleeping) (night)?" only to hear the waitress "Phew!" and said, "Shameless!"~

7. When I was studying on my own, everyone was watching the review, and GG said to MM, "I just memorized the words, help me write them silently." "MM doesn't want to be silent, GG begs her, you (touch) me, (touch) me!!, MM really can't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, he has to let me (touch) silent~~~!!

8. One day I went to the same school for dinner and drank some wine, and her father suddenly came in, originally wanting to call her uncle, but he said it wrong, and said, "Dad, come to the seat!" ~~ Cold!

9. My colleague had an argument with someone, and he opened his mouth in a hurry and said, "You think I grew up eating?" I have been wondering what he grew up eating.

10. When I was in elementary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser, and if I didn't borrow it, he would stalk him, and then I used all my strength to yell "I won't marry (lend) you" at that time, and the classmates immediately quieted down,,,。

11. In computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine, so he shouted "Boss, change the machine!"

12. I'm spitting on you all the shit in your face!

13. Even joked to MM: "Don't say that you know the puppet, it will affect my reputation!" MM said: "Do you have children? Can you have children?"

14. Even a man, sick in Guangdong, unable to speak'''''' went to the doctor, the doctor told me: Yin Dao is inflamed and faint'''''' take a closer look, the person on the diagnosis is inflamed and speechless''''''''' speechless''''''''

15. Buy a computer, the boss offers 4150, I bargain: The boss 410 is so good~~~~ The boss is stunned!

16. The last time I went to work in the morning, I found that the bicycle tire was flat, so I wanted to ask my mother to help push it out of the door to cheer up. Result I said: Push my tires out.

17. A girl fell out of love, and I persuaded her: "The two-legged toad is not easy to find, but the three-legged man is!"

18. When I was in elementary school, there was a labor class, which was generally weeding, so the teacher had to remind us to bring a hoe when we got out of school the day before, and on the second day of the labor class we were ready to go.

19. Enlighten a broken love. Classmates, do you know what it means to be out of love?

20. In junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong's poems: a generation of coquettish ,......

21. A certain teacher, today, let's come up, Yang Xiu's

22. Once KTV, order a song, and shout loudly: Order me a song of Zhou Zhuba's "Double Jay......

23. In my sophomore year, I liked to ride out shopping with an MM in the same dormitory for a while, and after cleaning up and dressing up beautifully, we got into the elevator together, and suddenly remembered that the car seemed to be out of gas, so I said to her: Accompany me to get a tire first?~~~~ God.......

24. There are more people on the bus, and a fierce man roars: Mom, step on my B

25. A classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and shook his hair coolly: "Boss, 2 taels of green onions don't need rice noodles!" Do you want rice noodles or green onions??"

26. At a theatrical evening, the host came to the stage to announce the curtain: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Creepy!!!!

27. When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic, and the teacher grabbed XXX in a fit of anger and said: XXX, you stand on the wall for me!~~ The whole class is cold!

28. Me: That's our physics teacher...

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry...

29. In the Internet café, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher!"

30. If a person in our dormitory drinks too much, he has to pee and then bring out a cold saying: If you drink too much urine, you will drink a lot.

31. Buy oranges, boss: a piece of five pounds. Me: It's too expensive, five dollars and three catties. Boss: No, no, no.

32. My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor was a color screen. (I was going to talk about liquid crystal)

33. I've heard a MM shouting in the cafeteria, "Give me a bowl of viper~!"

34. Once the mother of a classmate in the dormitory called

I'm used to saying "he's not there", but this time I want to say "it's out"

The result is: "He's been... It's gone."

35. I went to Li Ning with my sister to buy shoes, and my sister said: "Miss, how much is a pound of these shoes?"

36. Even high school, go home with even MM after school, see a barbecue seller at the school gate, MM said to eat offal, because there are more people in front of the grill, even afraid that the boss will not hear, so even shouted loudly: "Boss, 5 strings of bullwhips" and then there was silence, three seconds later everyone laughed together. Even giant embarrassment... The most embarrassing thing is that MM then asks the puppet "What is the bullwhip", and the puppet has to answer MM very, very quietly: "The bullwhip is the tail of the cow."

37. The teacher left the homework, and I copied someone else's if I didn't know how to do it, and then went to the office to hand in the homework, and saw the teacher and said, "I'm done copying!"

38. When I went to Hengshan to play, I was halfway up the mountain, and when I was tired and wanted to rest, I saw an Obasang who bought souvenirs on the side of the road, and I went up and asked: Wife........

39. In the morning, I went to breakfast with my classmates, one of whom only ate steamed bun filling, and the other only ate skin. We are talking about the two of them wasting when the stuffing classmates came and said, "Okay, you can eat my foreskin later", and all the porridge present squirted out.

40. During the military training in college, the instructor yelled and said: Use your side light (afterglow) to align ~~~~ Even if you want to laugh but don't dare to laugh, that's sad...