Next month, there may not be a stable update. My dad had surgery in Nanjing and needed me to take care of him.

My dad is a fat man, he started skipping school when he was in elementary school, and when he grew up, he ate, drank, prostituted, gambled, and smoked.

Grandpa was a senior teacher in his hometown at that time, respected, peach and plum all over the world, entrusted the relationship to go through the back door, begged grandpa to tell grandma, and finally arranged him to work in the power plant at that time, when I was in elementary school, he was already more than 2,000 a month, and the unit welfare is excellent, water and electricity are free, and meat and egg welfare are sent every month.

After finding him a job, marrying a daughter-in-law, and buying a house, his grandparents thought they could finally breathe a sigh of relief, but they didn't know that it was just the beginning of a nightmare.

My father gambled, not only lost the house to the creditor, but also bought out the job and ran away with tens of thousands of yuan, I lived with my grandparents since I was a child, and I heard my grandmother say that there were still people who came to the house to ask for accounts at that time, but my memory is blurred.

The son is embarrassed, the old man has a good face, and he can't stay in his hometown, so he moved his family to Shandong.

When I was in junior high school, this man who had been cursed by his grandmother 10,000 times came back, followed his grandfather and grandmother to gnaw at the old man for two years, and then took another sum of the old man's savings to do business. This time it's good, he made money, and then he was looking for a woman, gambling, and ran away with a lot of debts in less than two years, I don't know if the family paid off the debt for him, anyway, grandpa and grandma moved from a big house to a small house.

I was in college, and this man came up again. After all, I still felt pity for him, and there was still a little hope in my heart, so I deceived my mother, who had already divorced him, and asked for 4,000 yuan for him to live near the university...... Then he gambled on the World Cup and forced me to cheat my mom out of 4,000 yuan, and I really wanted to jump off the university building with him.

In the four years of college, he tortured me for three years, recruiting a group of fox friends and dog friends to eat and brag in a rental house, probably the most proud and happiest time of his life, and then I had to wash the dishes for more than an hour to tidy up the mess.

It was my father, my father, but every time I saw him, I felt disgusted from the bottom of my heart, and I wished that there was no such person in this world. Sometimes I want to stab him to death, squat for ten years and then come out, will my life be easier?

Because of years of eating and drinking, smoking and drinking, his strong body has already collapsed now, and after many years of diabetes, I know that he will enter the stage of complications in a few years, but he will not die so happily, because grandma loves him, no matter what, my fat grandma still loves her son.

She will give everything she has to keep this son alive, I despair, but I can't change it.

This time, he came again, he was in Nanjing, he needed to have an operation, I don't know how much time I was going to spend on him this time, but what could I do?

That is my biological and blood father, he is not good, everything is wrong, without him, I don't even have the opportunity to come to this world to experience pain, not to mention that under the love of my grandfather and grandmother, my life is not painful.

I have a thousand reasons to suffer him, but a man can deceive the whole world, but not his own heart. If I watch him die like this, he will become a shadow and a flaw in my soul.

This man is my father, no matter what, even if he is unwilling, even if he gives up everything I have accumulated in the past two years, I will do my best to let him live.

In this way, when he dies, I can ask myself questions and look up to myself, and I can travel lightly and freely in the future.

Friday, August 31, 2018, Wild Salted Fish 2

Man, it is not so easy to break free from one's fate. But I am not afraid.