His name is Xia Yu, and in the eyes of others, he was born in a happy family, with a wealthy family, a beautiful mother and an excellent brother. But he is not happy living in the envious eyes of others.

Once upon a time, his world, which should have been wide, became so small, a small dark room, a computer that never stopped working.

He didn't want to go out anymore, the outside world made him feel sleepy. He looks forward to the destruction of the world, because the boring daily life drives him crazy. He refused to communicate with people, and refused to face the false smiling faces. He is reluctant to stand with his brother, because he will always be only worthy of being a waste wood to set off his brother's excellence.

So he fell and surrendered his heart to the ethereal world. He believed that he could have salvation, faith and love in that world. However, he knew that it was just a dream that had not yet been shattered, and he longed for an exciting and turbulent life, and he feared a life that he could not control.

Until...... He made his choice with joy, and his seemingly complete and ordinary life was turned upside down. Through...... It may be something that everyone aspires to, but it doesn't necessarily bring happiness alone.

......

............

..................

He woke up from the nightmare of lightning and thunder, as if he had had a long, long dream, and he was surprised to find that he had crossed over, but he did not feel any emotion of joy.

He was hysterical about what he saw, and it was only when he confirmed the facts that he realized that he could not let go of the memories of the world he hated. He didn't know what he had to do, as if he had lost everything and abandoned everything, and he didn't know how to move forward until a mechanical voice without humanity began to sound.

Since you've traveled to this world, let's make up for the regrets in the game.

He thought so, he wanted to numb his crazy thoughts with it, he wanted to take risks, to pursue everything he had ever wanted to pursue.

Since then, he has become Shiina Masa, struggling to travel in the mud in order to abandon the memories of the past......

However, by the time he came back to his senses, he had already experienced a lot of things.

When exactly did he learn to talk to himself? Since when did you learn to force a smile.

He knew that he didn't belong to this world, and even though most of this world seemed kind, he couldn't trust it and open his heart. That's right, he felt lonely......

He talks to himself, trying to paralyze his lonely heart. I'm completing one task after another, but I don't want to live like a machine.

He hated the fall of the night, not the life he longed for adventure. When exhaustion and sleepiness swept through his body, he could sleep peacefully only with the little demon by his side. However, the nightmare memories reminded him all the time that he didn't belong here, that he couldn't trust anyone.

He thought maybe he would live like this forever. He still can't accept this world, even if this world has made him yearn for it immensely. He became speechless, trying to hide his mind tormented by nightmares, until he met her.

She is a cute girl who follows herself and always tries to talk to herself. For the first time, he felt the urge to speak, not to tell himself he was alive, but to let others know that he was alive.

Gradually, he changed. He no longer misses the past as much as he used to, and the nightmares seem to let him go for a short time. He didn't have to talk to himself again and again, and he fought repeatedly to deceive his feelings.

Then he meets her again, a mysterious and strange girl. I don't know why I became friends, I don't know why I became partners. She always stood up for herself, and when she faced enemies she felt dangerous, he told his companions that they couldn't help him succeed.

Is that really the case? Perhaps. He has few friends, his world is small, and he doesn't want to lose his friends because of his own selfish desires, even if he doesn't realize it at first.

......

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After that, they walked inseparably from city to city, and although the hardships of travel were not something that outsiders like him could get used to, he forgot his pain and indulged in the illusion of laughter all day long.

It wasn't until they were forced to scatter because of something that he came to his senses...... Before they knew it, he had already become their core, planning a step-by-step itinerary and goals. It was only when he lost them that he found out...... He also lost his purpose.

It was then that he realized the ridiculousness of his behavior at the beginning, once he wanted to live for himself, and now he wants to live for more people. So he wants to become stronger, pursue more power, and explore a wider unknown land. Until he can stand peacefully on the earth, and there is no more opponent in the world that he cannot defeat......

He wanted to rest then, and it might be nice to rest then, he thought, and he was heading there. The journey ahead may be difficult, but he has the courage to face everything with a smile. He didn't want to be that incompetent self anymore, because he wasn't confused anymore.

——————————————————— all the traversers are struggling to find meaning in confusion!

For the record, this chapter is not an update. So don't spray me!

Actually, these are the things I wanted to write for a long time but never had the courage to write, and I don't know when it began, the character of Shiina Maki gradually became more human from the small setting at the beginning, and he was no longer my marionette to present stories to everyone, but really entered my heart.

In my mind, he is a 'living' being, maybe not alive in the conventional sense, but he really exists. He has courage and strength that I can't match, but also carries the cowardice and confusion that everyone once had. As I learned more about his personality, he had become a complex figure in my eyes.

The reason why I decided to write this chapter is actually a bit funny, and last night someone said in the book review section that I couldn't understand what the protagonist did, and couldn't understand the logic of what the protagonist did. I expressed my helplessness, even if I didn't want to, I had to admit that it was my fault, he entered my heart, but he failed to enter everyone's heart through me. I couldn't do anything but lament my own incompetence.

Truth be told, the book isn't a particularly good story, but it's not a particularly bad story overall. Just as the world has light and darkness, there is always deep darkness in the shadows of beauty, and I want to make this world more perfect, which is my self-conscious pursuit, and it is also the meaning of my writing this book.

Regarding last night's update, I still have no choice but to apologize. After thinking about it for a long time, I finally realized that I had fallen into the legendary ultimate cardin, which I had already said in the book friend group. Continuing the plot of the previous episode, the feature film will not be able to sort the number of a chapter normally, and if you add some plot segments, the original word count will not be able to carry the content. If the chapters were to be separated, the originally booked space would be even more stretched.

Forgive me for my willfulness, forgive me for wanting a better solution, so I sat down at my computer desk once more, ready to challenge this chapter that had plagued me for a day and a night. As for the chapters that were interrupted before, I can only say that according to the old rules, although I am indeed busy this week, I will try my best to make up for it, after all, there are not many stories in this volume.

Don't say anything, thank you for your support! Even if it is interrupted twice, the average weekly push is almost above 20, which is all thanks to your silent support!

If you're lucky, we'll see you late at night!