The first time I saw him, I was on the bus.

Simple short hair, white face, sunny temperament.

With a mobile phone in his hand, he sat and watched, stood and walked. I would have liked to remind this brother that there was a girl sitting with me who had been paying attention to him for a long time, but I was too embarrassed to disturb him when he was so attentive to his phone.

When I got off the bus, I was at the same station as him, standing side by side at the back door, and I glanced at it, and I was a little surprised: "Do you also see the sky breaking?"

He glanced at me, "yes, you see it too?"

"Look too, where do you see?"

"It's a strange fire. ”

"I see ......"

That's how we met.

On weekdays, he was a little taciturn, but it turned out that it was a person who went crazy. A few people meet to go out to play, and he can go a day without saying a word. But when a few people go out to play, he can talk alone for a day.

Time passed quickly, and my relationship with him became more and more iron, and we were friends and brothers who talked almost everything. Because we have a common hobby, reading web novels.

I can't forget that day two years ago he said to me, "What if I wrote a novel?"

"Are you crazy?" I was a little surprised: "How can a normal person write a novel?

"Oh. He just nodded and said nothing more.

I hadn't seen him for three months, and when I said goodbye, I was on the bus again.

Sparse stubble, decadent face......

I heard that he really started writing novels, and the QQ signatures are all asking everyone to pay attention to my new book and so on. He asked me to see it, and he asked me to see it with great interest, saying that it would definitely be blasted and trampled to death by mortals.

I was a little unconvinced and went to see it.

I tried hard to read it for a day, but I really had to give up, and I actually wanted to find the slightest highlight in his book to attract me to read it. Unfortunately, I failed.

Maybe he's depressed.,We haven't been in touch for half a year.,His QQ dynamics haven't been updated.,The avatar hasn't lit up.,I don't know if it's stealth or not online.。

In the blink of an eye, it was 14 years. In June, summer is hot.

"Hey, XX, come out and sing. ”

The phone rang, and I was surprised to receive a call from him, and I could hear that his voice was happy. No, it's a pleasure. This tone infected me, and I became a little inexplicably happy.

"Hahaha, do you know why I asked you to come out and sing today?"

He suddenly stopped in the KTV and laughed wildly, it was rampant.

"Because, my book is signed. Haha, signed, signed!"

Talking into the microphone, he laughed and shouted.

We looked around blankly, looking at each other. What is a contract, and it seems that the contract is very powerful?

"I've been writing for almost a year, almost a year, every day, in retreat. I don't do anything, I write every day. It's not easy

, finally boiled out, I finally signed a contract, hahaha. Do you know how hard it is to sign a contract? Ninety-nine percent of the authors can't sign a contract......

He told us about what he had been going through for so long, complaining about things we didn't understand. I understood, it turned out that it was difficult to sign a contract.

Before the words of congratulations could be spoken, he cried, lay on the table and cried, "Finally signed a contract." ”

A friend sighed: "Wake up, don't dream." ”

Everyone looked at him, confused.

"I'm actually tempted to say that you're not a gifted person. I heard that you've been writing novels for a long time, and you didn't sign a contract until today? I also wrote novels two years ago, and I signed a contract for the first one. I didn't hit you, I just want to say, you don't have talent, don't dream of becoming a god, I gave up two years ago. ”

“......”

We understand, it turns out that it is not difficult to sign a contract......

Unexpectedly, he didn't give up and continued to write.

What's even more surprising is that he seems to have really succeeded.

I don't know if the book he signed for sold well, but I think his temperament seems to have changed, it's that kind of blind temperament, and he doesn't seem to pay attention to anything. I've seen this kind of temperament in the nouveau riche.

"Yo, smoke the Hibiscus King?" I hadn't seen him in a few months, and at first glance, he surprised me a little.

"Hehe, long time no see, what have you been doing lately?"

I always feel that he seems to be a different person, and it is that deliberately low-key feeling: "I didn't do anything, I found a job at home, and now I go to work." What about you?"

"Write a novel. ”

"You're still writing?"

"Of course, one way to the dark. How can a man give up so easily?"

"Then you are a big writer now, how much does you earn a month?"

"Haha, not much. Enough to feed yourself. ”

“......”

After chatting for a long time, I was really impressed with him. I always felt that he seemed to have really succeeded in writing novels, and he should have made a lot of money.

I'm also intrigued, and I want to write a novel.

But in the end, I still didn't have the courage of him, and I couldn't write for a long time.

At the end of the year, I received a call from him: "Lend me 500 yuan." ”

"You're still asking me to borrow money? Great writer, I'm going to borrow it from you. "I was a little surprised.

"The manuscript fee has not arrived, so I should respond to the emergency first, and I will pay you back after the New Year. ”

“......”

I think, it seems that on the surface, he is not the real him, right?

In the summer of '15, I suddenly wanted to see what the environment for great writers was like. After the phone call, I went to his house.

When he invited him into his bedroom, I could visibly feel myself frowning subconsciously. A dark, damp smell came over the room, and the room was filled with the smell of smoke, as well as some mixed odd smells. The curtains are drawn, the whole room is opaque, the computer is on, and the interface is a document, full of small print.

"That's where you work?"

"yes, I find that I don't like the light anymore, and now I don't turn on the lights at night because I'm not inspired when the lights are on. ”

I was a little worried: "Can you keep going like this?"

"Whatever, young man. By the way, have you read my new book?"

I was tempted to say that I watched it, but I was afraid that he would reveal the plot when he asked me, so I shook my head.

He was a little disappointed and smiled and said, "Then you have time to take a look." ”

"Definitely. ”

I looked at a picture on my computer screen, "Your girlfriend, she's beautiful." ”

A happy smile appeared on his face: "Beautiful, right? We've been together for two years." ”

"Really, how did I not know before?"

"I didn't tell you. ”

"It's so beautiful, it's a lot of money, right?"

Speaking of this, he smiled wryly and did not answer the question in the end.

August 8th, a day I will never forget;

My elementary school classmates had a birthday and asked me to go to the XX bar to sit down.

Amid the noisy DJ, a large group of us had a great time.

The birthday classmate's surname is Liu, let's call him Lao Liu for the time being.

Lao Liu wantonly pointed at the female DJ and said, "That woman is good?"

"Then you called to accompany the drink. "We heckled.

Lao Liu laughed, a little disdainful: "That's only good, you haven't seen the real best." ”

Lao Liu was a little drunk: "Wait, brother will call you to call a few." ”

In less than half an hour, three girls came, who seemed to be familiar with Lao Liu, and sat down without fear of life after saying hello. All three girls were beautiful, but I always thought one of them was familiar.

"Don't go back at night. ”

"Why don't you go back?"

"Your home is like my home. ”

"Then I'll have to call him, and I'll have to call him every night at ten o'clock. ”

"I'm jealous!"

"Huh. ”

The familiar girl went out.

But now, I suddenly feel bad: "I kind of left beforehand. ”

"Hey, you ...... man"

Out of the bar, I saw the girl outside the silent door, and I could only hear her say to the phone: "I'm at home, I'm ready to sleep......"

I didn't go far, I stood on the curb of the road and watched the traffic, and I felt a kind of loss. I still called him: "Is your girlfriend's name XXX?"

"Yes. ”

His voice was low, and it was a little surprising to me.

"I want to tell you something. ”

"Needless to say, I'm across from you. ”

I looked up and saw the man sitting on a bus seat across the road, phone in hand, but looking at the bar behind me. There was some redness in the eyes, but there were no tears......

After a long talk, I felt sad for what had happened to him.

That man, he didn't make it at all. And everything he does in front of us is just a pompous appearance. When I thought he really made a lot of money writing books, in fact, his income in two months could not match my salary in one month.

He took all the manuscript fees for a month, spent them on the woman, and told the woman that it was one-third of his monthly income. And that woman, dressed up with his money, doing things he didn't know about in places and times he didn't know.

I admit he's a man, and he's just a man. It's not a nest, but it's not brilliant at all.

That man, his self-esteem is too strong.

When others sneer at his dreams, he slaps his swollen face and becomes fat, insisting on proving to you that he is right. In fact, he knows better than anyone whether he is right or not.

I felt a little ridiculous, why he was so naïve, I couldn't understand it all the time. What is a dream? Well, the thoughts in a dream.

I'm a little ridiculous, because I've never seen such a naïve man.

I haven't seen him since.

Maybe he still has a fair face and simple short hair. Maybe it's the sparse stubble, the decadent face.

This is an online writer, and I don't know how to describe it.

Maybe he started over, two years of experience, he didn't succeed, but failure should teach him how to be a human being, right?

He wanted to prove himself, but he didn't have the ability to prove himself.

The man was like a lone ant, with limited abilities, and could only carry bits and pieces bit by bit, and he had to forge a nest alone where he wanted.

That man may succeed, but more likely he will continue to fail. After all, a man who can't even keep a woman, what can he keep?

The man actually cried and said to me:

"In the past two years, my biggest dream is not actually a magnificent ideal. In the past two years, I only want to succeed once, and among these countless failures, I only succeed once, only once, and the small ones are ......."

The man he was afraid to see his future, he wrote metaphysical novels, but he was afraid of metaphysics. He was afraid that metaphysics could really calculate, and he was afraid that someone would really calculate his fate and tell him in advance. Because he knew in his heart that he might still be losing in the future. But he didn't want to know in advance, because then there would be no motivation to work towards the hopeless unfailing.

That man always pretended to be smiling in front of his friends and family, and always said that he was very good. But behind the scenes, he broke his body, but he can only know by himself. He didn't even dare to tell his family what the novel he wrote was called, because in the novel he often confided his true emotions, he was afraid of letting his family see it, he was afraid of a lot, and he was most afraid that his family would know the truth.

The man forgot about the woman, and there was no love or hatred in his heart. Now I just want to live for myself and live a good life for myself.

For the umpteenth time, the man continued to vow: this time, he really had to succeed!!

......

Late at night, I got up and washed my face with cold water, looking at myself in the mirror with a dark yellow face and sunken eyes. Imitating the man's smile, he said with pride in his bitterness:

"That man is me. ”

Drying my face, I took a deep breath.

A moment later, he typed the last line of words on the keyboard with his hand again.

"Actually, I've excerpted the above!!"

............

The above fake testimonials are the real ones here!!

I sat in front of the computer for a long time and couldn't put down my pen.

"Tick Tick!!"

A little bit of unknown liquid falls off the keyboard!!

Damn, I even put away my emotions and even dropped eye drops to write testimonials on the shelves, why is the liquid still swirling in my eye sockets!!

Tears in the streets, are they so worthless??

It's only by hitting the street that it will be put on the shelves so quickly!!

Otherwise, you can't even afford a bottle of mineral water!!

Ay.

Just as Moscow does not believe in tears, you will not believe that I shed tears.

Boom............

In the end, a thousand words make up a sentence.

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