In this boring and realistic world, a story that no one knows quietly unfolds......

I am a very common office worker in this society, and I am in a hurry to go to work early and late every day, and I am bored day after day......

I'm a middle-aged man in my early thirties, ordinary-looking, and still unmarried. The days of working in the company are neither good nor bad, and I do my best to complete everything the leader commands. The relationship between colleagues is not bad, and this kind of life is a bit boring after a long time.

Receiving that rigid salary every month, I work hard every day, and sometimes I am busy until midnight if I am busy. People often say to me, "Aren't you tired like this?" and I smiled and said, "I'm used to it." Although I was tired from work, I was already numb.

There are a lot of things that I'm good at, but they don't fit in with my current job. When I was in junior high school, I learned from my grandfather in my hometown about fishing, hunting, setting traps, and building a few makeshift shelters.

When I was younger, I was sent to the police station for fighting with others, what should I say about it? I feel that I am also responsible for the misfortune of this incident...... He was harassing a couple of female students on the street, and when he was about to do something to them, I rushed over and knocked him to the ground......

Later, when the police came to investigate the cause of the incident, they found that the female student and the middle-aged man were 'adult trading'...... After dealing with the situation at the scene, I was taken back to the police station for investigation......

It's another boring and ordinary day, and I go to work peacefully. Looking at the file in my hand and processing the documents on the computer, when I was about to leave work, my colleague who had a good relationship with me asked me to hand over an important document to the chairman and he had something to go home.

I reluctantly agreed to his request, walked to the chairman's office not far away, and was about to knock on the door to enter, when I heard a burst of women's moans......

What is going on?!??? I was filled with uneasy thoughts when I heard this voice, I shouldn't be able to go in yet, right?!, but I really want to go home early!!!

Get in...... Not entering...... These two thoughts kept clashing and contradicting in my mind, and I was terrible!

"Director, are you there?" I said, my voice a little hoarse.

After waiting for a moment, no one in the office answered my greeting, and instead the women's moans grew louder and louder. "Excuse me, anyone?" I knocked impatiently on the door.

For a long time, there was still no answer, and I looked at the pocket watch in my hand, "There is no time!" I simply opened the door and walked into the room to see an embarrassing scene.

The chairman and a young woman were doing something that made people blush, "Why don't you knock on the door?!" said the chairman with an angry face.

"That's... I've knocked it. "I'm embarrassed to say.

"You've been fired!" the chairman yelled angrily !!.

I've been working like this for more than ten years and I'm unemployed, it's really inexplicable!

On the day I left, I was very unhappy and a little depressed.

Walking on the sidewalk, I returned home and stayed at home for several days. I couldn't find anything meaningful, and it was as if my life had gone dark.

It's boring, my life ...... I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

In the evening, I walked out of the house to buy a few beers at the convenience store downstairs.

After buying alcohol, walk out of the convenience store.

"I'm so confused. I said with a wry smile.

I've worked hard all my life. But people are not as good as heaven, and for a moment I suddenly lost my motivation and stood there thinking about the past......

"How many times have I told you!!Don't do those useless things, you just need to study hard now!"

That's what my father used to say to me...... Damn it!

Every time, he objected to what I wanted to do, and I had to study numbly and boring.

"I don't know, is that old man okay?" I muttered to myself.

I remember that I had disowned him a long time ago......

"If you're tired, take a break. Don't try so hard, Lian. ”

I still remember that when I was very tired from studying, my mother would always bring a glass of milk and say with concern.

It's so good, I had my mother's care during my school days, and there was good cooking. It's not like the life of an office worker, who suffers from white eyes and so on......

It's just that everything can't go back, and my mother died in a traffic accident five years ago. When I heard the news, I couldn't help but cry......

My mother is gone, and my father and I had a complete falling out two years ago.

"Get out of here!" my father said angrily, looking a little ready to cut ties with me.

"Let's go, let's go! I won't come back!!" I couldn't help but salute him at the time.

"You...... You!!" He seemed to be speechless from me.

On the same day, I packed my luggage and left without looking back. Since then, we have not been in touch......

"Oh?" Suddenly it started raining, and I didn't shelter from the rain, but just stood there and looked at the rain and laughed at myself.

Maybe the pedestrians walking down the street at the moment are looking at me with strange eyes, thinking that I am a strange, deranged guy.

But none of this matters......

I had nothing left, no stable income.

I'm also planning to find a girlfriend to talk to this year, if it's a good one. Let's get married......

Burst... First of all, don't all women nowadays like handsome and rich men? How can they like an uncle in his thirties like me, and besides, I don't have much money.

"Huh?"

In the midst of the fierce rain, I seemed to hear the sound of someone arguing.

It's annoying, I don't want to be involved in this kind of thing. Even so, I involuntarily walked in the direction of the sound.

"-So, it's you-"

"You're—"

Walking to a location not far from the sound of the quarrel, I found that it looked like a couple was arguing. Two men and one woman, wearing school uniforms, which are now common.

It seemed to be arguing fiercely, and the taller teenager and the girl were arguing over something, while another teenager intervened in the hope that they would calm down, but the two who were angry couldn't listen to it.

Witnessing this scene reminded me of the past.

It was a good time, and I smiled from the bottom of my heart.

I also had a cute childhood friend when I was in high school. I remember when she joined the athletics club, had to cut her hair short, walked down the road and passed by ten people, and three or four people would look back at her - probably fascinated by her fresh style.

Because our homes are close to each other, we are often in the same class as elementary, middle, and high school, so we often go home together after school. The male classmates in the class always looked at me with envy, and I didn't think so.

This wasn't a relationship, that's what I thought in my heart at the time.

Since she and I often go home together, we have a lot of opportunities to chat and talk about our past, as well as our favorite scenery and things.

But one day, this normal relationship changed, and I still remember that day when other classmates went to dinner during the lunch break, and went home. There was no one else in the classroom except her and me, and I was sleeping on my desk when she walked over softly.

"Excuse me, can you wake up? I have something to say to you. "Her voice was low, and she felt like she was afraid to wake me up.

"What's the matter?" I rubbed my eyes out of politeness, trying to shake off my sleepiness.

"That's... That's—" she said whims.

She...... Why blush? I looked at her a little puzzled.

"You... You... Can be... It's mine... Boyfriend?" she blushed and said something that surprised me.

"I ......" I wanted to reject her confession, but her expression felt like she was about to cry. Presumably she mustered up a lot of courage to confess to me, right?

"Yes. "I didn't want to hurt her, and I accepted her confession.

Her expression was so happy that I laughed.

"Thank you. She cried tears of joy.

I was overwhelmed when I saw her crying, and I didn't know how to coax her. I'm not very good at coaxing girls, to be exact.

"Don't cry, I'll treat you to a sundae?" I asked tentatively.

"Okay. I'm sorry, that... I'm sorry to make a fool of myself in front of you. She realized her gaffe and adjusted her expression and said to me......

But this time did not last long, I remember that one day she saw me without saying a word and crying with grievances on her face.

"What's going on?" I asked with concern as she kept sobbing.

She tried to tell me why, but she stopped talking, then she shook her head and turned away. What happened? I was full of doubts.

He didn't come to school for days, and I was worried about her.

When I saw her again, she made me feel like someone who had lost her soul.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm worried about you, what's going on?" I said in a slightly anxious tone, and when I saw her this time, I felt like something had really happened to her.

"What's the matter... Nor did it. She didn't dare look me in the eye, and replied in a whisper.

"I want to help you and tell me what's wrong. Okay?" I said sincerely, putting my hands on her shoulders.

"......" When she heard my words, her eyes immediately turned red in the next second, as if she was about to cry, but she bit her lower lip with her teeth and held back the tears.

Seeing the very aggrieved look on her face and the tears that she bit her lower lip and held back, I was stunned. Something important must have happened in her family or body!

"It's really fine...... Thank you. She still avoided my concern and greetings.

"You—" Just as I was about to say something, she suddenly hugged me tightly.

"Nothing, you don't have to worry so much. She leaned against my chest and smiled. Although her smile is not much different from her usual smile, there is always a feeling of discomfort.

"Do your hands still hurt?" I asked distressed when I saw the obvious bruises on her hands.

Hearing this, her expression panicked, "This... It was I who accidentally bumped into the table yesterday. Her voice was small, and her eyes didn't dare to look at me.

"You...... Why the hell are you lying to me?" I shook my head with a wry smile when I heard what she said. The bruise was definitely not hit, it was probably pulled out by someone else with a whip......

"......," she bowed her head and fell silent.

Just as I closed my eyes and thought about things, she leaned into my ear and whispered something that shocked me.

"What did you just say?!" I didn't believe what I was hearing.

"Can you go with me... Would you like to stay in a love hotel for one night?" she said very calmly, what she had just said to me.

"Why...?" I asked subconsciously when she said this.

"I don't want to lose our regrets in our relationship. ”

She said with a flushed face, and took me by the hand and walked to the hotel not far away.

She's okay, is she?!My mind is conflicted, and she... Why say regrets?

"Wait!

She stopped abruptly and turned to look at me, and the next second she stepped on her feet and grabbed me by the collar with her hand, and my lips and I touched each other. I was a little confused at that moment.

“......”

“......”

We didn't speak to each other, and I don't know exactly what to say. If I really want to do that kind of thing to her that kind of thing between a man and a woman, I really can't do it.

If you do that kind of thing... She's going to lose her virginity as a girl, and there's a good chance I'll be... Oh, it's scary to think about......

She and I slept in the double bed in the couple's hotel that night and didn't say anything to each other.

"Don't you do it?" she was the first to break the awkward atmosphere.

"......" I didn't say anything when I heard her question, and I was going to fool around.

“... Aren't you going to do it?" she leaned over to me and twisted her waist.

I still didn't say anything to her questions, and I was afraid to face her inquiries at this time.

"Don't pretend, you didn't sleep, did you?" she asked, turning to stare at my face.

"I can't do that. I said a little nervously.

"You can't, why can't? Are you a virgin?" she laughed when she heard what I said.

"Do you really not do it?" ...... very comfortable, she saw that I was indifferent to this, so she simply changed her statement.

"I can't do this kind of thing... It would be a mistake to do so. I closed my eyes and said firmly.

It's wrong to do that, I can't do it...... I told myself again and again not to do this.

"Huh?" I suddenly felt something caressing my face.

"Open your eyes. She whispered.

I opened my eyes helplessly and saw her looking at me with a smile on her face.

"Reach out. I reached for my right hand, and she grabbed my hand and put it on her chest.

"Wooh!" the touch in my hand made me exclaim involuntarily.

“...... How do you feel?" she asked calmly, taken aback.

"I'm sorry... I really can't do it, ah......" I said, taking my hand back and feeling nervous.

Hearing what I said, the expression on her face changed: "You are so good, much better than those men who can only think with their lower bodies." She laughs.

"Can... Sleep with me?" she asked quietly, her voice feeling a little shy.

"No problem. ”

I pulled her into my arms, and I closed my eyes and felt the sound of her regular breathing.

"You're such a gentle boyfriend. She chuckled quietly in my arms.

............

The next day, by the time I got up, she was gone. A letter was left on the table in my room, and by the time I finished it, my face was very bad. To be exact, I'm angry, and I finally know the reason for her grief these days...... Family reasons, domestic violence, and... What a beast! Her father made her do such a thing!

“...... To my dearest Joto Ren, when you read this letter, I have already gone back to my "home", and last night was the happiest time of my life. Thank you, Xiaolian ♡. Your forever girlfriend - Sakura Takahashi. These are the last words of the letter.

Damn! Damn!Damn!! I was annoyed, but more than that, I couldn't help her...... I haven't seen her since, she's like she's been out of my world, and I haven't seen her until now.

............

The sky was still raining unpleasantly, and the streets were sparsely populated. Occasionally, a few passers-by with umbrellas in their hands looked at me looking up at the sky with puzzled expressions, reminiscing about the past.

"Huh?" I noticed that one of my trucks was rushing at the three students at high speed, and the truck driver was still lying on the steering wheel. Damn! Is it fatigue driving?!The three students apparently hadn't spotted the van behind them.

"You three! danger!" I shouted in their direction. But I don't know if it was the rain or because it was too far away, so my cry was not heard by them.

I've got to save them, if I don't save them. In a few minutes, they would definitely have been crushed into bloody corpses by that truck...... I'll definitely regret it then!

While my mind was thinking, my body was running.

"Tsk, get in the way!" I casually tossed the bag of beer in my hand onto the road, and my body ran faster.

The young man, who was still arguing just now, sensed the approaching truck and took the girl into his arms to protect her. The other teenager was unaware of the fact that he was facing away from the truck, but was stunned by his companion's behavior. Without hesitation, I grabbed the boy by the collar who was unaware of the truck and pulled him back with all my might. At my movements, the boy fell off the path of the truck.

Okay, two more. Hurry up!Hurry!God!! please let me hurry!!!

I instinctively pulled the last two out of the danger zone, but the force was reciprocal. At the same time as I pulled the two of them out of the danger position, I went into the danger zone.

The moment I was hit by the truck, I seemed to see something light up behind me. Is that what the world often calls a "marquee"......?

It's boring to think about my whole life!

"Gah!" The bones seem to be broken, and I don't know where they are broken, and I don't want to know, it hurts me!

But the next second, the truck hit me against a concrete wall......

...... My body seems to be shattered, isn't it? The nerves in my whole body were violently transmitting pain, and thoughts of regret popped up in my mind when I was in a trance. Regret... Is it worth it... Gotcha?

Forget it, I'm acting on my own volition. I...... No regrets!!

"Ahem!" coughed violently in his throat, blood kept flowing out of his mouth and the wounded part of his body, splattering, and he couldn't say a word.

A little unwilling, how boring my life is......

............

"Joto-san, why are you sleeping here? Wake up quickly, or you'll catch a cold. ”

I was a little surprised to see this...... I remember when I was in junior high school, just after school...... I seemed to be asleep on the rooftop of the school, and then it was Takahashi who woke me up......

“...... There aren't many boys like Joto-san anymore, and you're quite responsible and kind. ”

It was that unforgettable noon...... 'Sakura Takahashi, is she okay now?' The question has been hanging in my mind, and I don't know about her current condition until now......

I'm sorry I didn't help you at that time......

............

"Xiaolian, remember to eat breakfast. Don't be late. ”

While I was still frustrated, a familiar voice came from behind me. Mom...?

"You kid have to be careful in everything you do, it hurts, right?!"

I remember that it was during the junior high school track and field competition, and I had an accident and injured my leg. I endured the pain of my leg injury and ran the race, and when I came home from school, my mother couldn't help but feel distressed when she saw the injury on my leg......

When I saw this, my eyes involuntarily shed tears......

............

"Dad, why am I called 'Joto Ren'? This is a girl's name, right?!" Seeing this scene, my heart became complicated......

"Why? If you had to explain, it would be like this. The word lotus is a plant in the dictionary that lives in the silt of a pond but is very clean. I want you to be an upright man in the future, no matter what the circumstances. You're going to come out... Oh, out of the mud and not stained......"

Decent men? But it's too hard to do in this society......

............

...... I'm so sleepy, is it over here?Consciousness is gradually blurring......

............

"There's a car accident here!

"Please save him!please!!"

"――――√╲Di――――"

............