Solitude
γLonelinessγ
Zhaohua understood that he was dreaming.
He walked out of the room and into the courtyard, silent all the way, empty except him.
You should be afraid, but why are you more worried, is it because you know it's a dream, or because you know what to do next?
The rain was pouring down gloomily, and the untended courtyard was full of shadows, deep and cold. He walked on a path shaded by hibiscus and crape myrtle trees, and crossed a bridge shaded by dark hedges.
He stopped at the head of the bridge, and he could feel himself approaching his goal, but determination seemed to be diluted as he crossed the dark stream, and the feeling of unease gradually oppressed him to breathe.
(But you've got to get out of here...... Being superior to others is not noble, the real nobility should be superior to the past self!) He encouraged himself again and again, and finally took a step forward.
Turning the broken mossy stone pillars, he saw a marble jacquard statue entangled in vines, the statue of the girl holding the pot behind her was full of cracks, the mouth of the pot no longer flowed from the spring, the shallow black stone pool only received rainwater, and the surface of the water trembled rapidly in the breeze full of the smell of corruption.
"Don't you dare to look at me?" the young man asked calmly in a vaguely sharp voice, which forced Zhaohua to look upβ
The black-robed figure in the pool is thin and slender, with a gorgeous carnival mask revealing under the wide brim, gloomy and eerie in the dark landscape.
Zhaohua smiled bitterly and said softly: "Is it really 'mask'......"
"That's right, MaskΒ· Tajarnite, my name. β
Viral demons, the demon Musk Tajgnette who lives in his heart, the Blackwater guard. After getting a response, Zhaohua exhaled heavily: "Finally met, Brother Musk." β
"This is the first time, you deliberately asked Tono Sheng to help you construct this 'Divine Hell' and call me, do you want to fight it?" Musk asked mockingly, laughing contemptuously.
Facing the demon who was as strong as ever, Zhaohua pursed his lips, and then spoke: "Heishui Ji's conspiracy has failed, and the Empress of the Sky has also lost. β
"Answer my question because you want to drive me away, don't you, you want to kill me?" Musk asked sharply, and the cold and urgent voice made Zhaohua shudder, take a step back and stop again.
"You've always taken care of me and encouraged me, and I've always listened to you......" When he spoke, his eyes still involuntarily fell on the purple fallen flowers on the ground, and the more he spoke, the more cowardly he became, Zhaohua quickly pursed his lips, clenched his fists and looked directly into Musk's eyes.
"Green-eyed ......," he said suddenly, softly.
"What?"
"Great......" Although the tone was still unsteady, Zhaohua still breathed a sigh of relief and laughed, "You are green-eyed, you are not the same person as me...... I'm scared, I'm worried that you're a demon of my own making, and it seems that my mistake hasn't gotten any bigger. β
"And then, what do you want?"
"I've always listened to you, can I listen to me this time?" Even if this decision was made after repeated consideration and preparation, how could the long-standing fear and obedience easily disappear?Zhaohua asked slowly as he stared nervously at the green eyes.
"Standing here together like this proves that we are equal. Musk's cold voice made him feel rejected, and after a moment of silence, Musk sighed softly, "Say it." β
Staring at the cold and shining eyes in the dark, Zhaohua pursed his lips and quickly lowered his eyelashes: "I have been thinking since I was a child, ordinary people have the opportunity to meet many people in their lives, but how many close friends can they make in the same heart?"
It doesn't matter to Musk at all, right...... Although there was no response, Zhaohua continued: "There were about 40 classmates in elementary school, and the address book of graduation at that time was full of their names, hobbies, and wishes, and then they never contacted me again...... I may have hundreds of names and numbers in my phone book, and we all spend our lives connected by countless relationships, but I ......
"I've always had a hard time fitting in because I'm cowardly and sensitive, I'm afraid of being hated so I can't find a topic, and then I can only smile and become more distant...... Even if you want to be chic, you will only be like a parasite and you can't live without the help of others, but I am useless at least I have an older brother, although he has always had his own circle...... But I lost him again, so I probably won't be able to make true friends in my life, because no one around me can see you, no one can understand my situation, and then it will be impossible to communicate with my heart......"
Inferior, cowardly and painful, Zhaohua had red eyes and choked up and whispered: "I'm scared, I'm lonely......"
"My strength is also like a burden to you, isn't it?" After listening to him quietly, Musk asked lightly.
"I don't want to have dark magic abilities at all! No one can understand it, I ......"
"All you want to have is friends, it's an overly banal wish. For their sake, you don't want to be associated with me anymore, do you?" Musk sneered without pity, "It's so selfish, it's clear that I'm the one who has been with you all the time." β
Zhaohua sniffed and smiled bitterly: "I want to be normal...... My brother and I should get rid of your shadows, we don't owe you anything!"
After a pause, he sighed softly: "I still don't have hope after meeting Sister Paris and Yueming, because even if we can use the same power, we will not walk on the same path after all. But Sun Rin and Abel reminded me that I obviously have them around me who can be trusted, how can I know that we won't be in touch if I don't do anything?"
"So you are conflicted, you want them to know your true situation, and you are afraid that you will be alienated from now on, so that I will get a chance to go berserk. Musk snorted softly with a sneer, his snake-like gaze coldly entangled in his thoughts.
"When I woke up, I felt that it was definitely going to be over, and I would be the enemy of everyone all of a sudden......" Zhaohua sighed and raised his head, a slight drizzle of rain and mist on his face, "but no." β
"What happened to Harden made me change my mind about them, and I was actually scared of Harden all the time, and I was afraid of him and at the same time I loved his boldness...... I really wanted to be friends with him, and I didn't have the opportunity to really contact him until he lost his sight, and to my surprise, the person who was so alert and straightforward didn't reject me, and it gave me the feeling that I didn't consciously follow his actions......"
"It's not just him, right?"
In response to Musk's uninterested inquiry, Zhaohua smiled: "Well, there is Abel, and Cedar and Mr. He." β
"Abel is a very down-to-earth and reassuring person, and Cedar ...... He is the most relaxed person, right, obviously the friend who has been with him for the longest time, but in the past, I would only think he was naΓ―ve, jealous of his popularity and luck...... But I should be ashamed that his growth is amazing, and how dazzling his tolerance and sincerity are compared to my darkness......"
After hearing Cedar's incident, Musk's eyes flickered a little. Probably because of fear, the harmless child who had made him and Zhaohua taunt together at the beginning already had the power to stab him and even purify him.
"I don't like it. His cold voice was filled with disgust.
"I know, but I want to blend in with them!" Zhaohua disobeyed his decision as an elder brother for the first time and vented his feelings, "I should also respond to his actions and everyone's actions...... And I should have responded, because I wondered why the thought of being able to fight with them made my whole body ......boil?
The dusty rain stopped...... Musk quietly looked up at the cloud-covered sky, and then asked, "Do you have an answer?"
"I think so," Zhaohua looked directly at him and unconsciously clenched his fists, "Because of Mr. He's words, I realized that I want to live well, I want to stop disliking myself, and in order not to hate myself all my life, I want to break through the 'fate' of being used and abandoned in front of me...... They are companions I have met for the first time in my life with the same goal, and we are companions who have been connected in a short period of time!"
After finishing speaking, tears even welled up in his eyes, and Zhaohua asked repeatedly: "What is the probability that people will meet people with the same heart in their lives?"
"That kind of thing has nothing to do with me," a hundred black mist silks spread out from Musk's body, so entangled that Zhaohua could barely breathe, "And how sad, you just want to cater to them, you think this is freedom?"
"Because of loneliness, I think it doesn't matter who it is, as long as it can accommodate me, my friend can ...... anyone" shouted out in the tearing and entanglement of the black silk, Zhaohua's fine wind blade tore off the shackles little by little, "but not like this, not to pander, but to become a better version of myself and they will like!, and I confirm it now, my friend...... I won't give in anymore! I don't want to be left with mediocrity, I want ...... Even if they may not be able to walk side by side in the future, they must be given a process that can be missed!"
The black silk that had been unscrupulous for a long time was torn apart, and the fine breeze swept the blades of grass and clouds, and when Musk squinted slightly, the gray slate-like clouds cracked, and the soft golden pillars of light burst out from them, shining on the shallow puddles.
"If you want to become friends of life and death with them who are noble, you must become a pure person for this...... It's as pure and direct as the wind, so the 'dual personality' or something...... "Zhaohua, who was fully engaged in the wind that drove away the rain and mist, and his whole body was trembling slightly, suddenly looked directly at Musk.
"No need to disguise, my name is Zhang Zhaohua!" Driven by fierce emotion, he clenched his fists hard and pounded his chest, his black eyes splitting and gleaming in tears, "It will no longer rain in my heart, so ...... I don't need you anymore!Duel, Musk Tajnet!"
Musk was gloomy and silent, and then suddenly laughed.
"Don't you need it......"
Facing Zhaohua, who was facing at any time under the clear sky, his eyes softened, dyed with helpless colors: "It's become fierce, can't you still do it if you want to change." Demons are all looking for the cracks of the soul to invade, but there is no trace of gloom in your heart now. β
With such a soft sigh, his figure gradually turned into mist in the breeze, and the intense black swirled and rose with the wind, gradually turning into silver gray and pearl white, and slowly dissipated without a trace.
Zhaohua's eyes were still shining, and in addition to the surprise, he was still a little incredulous: "...... Did you promise me?"
"From the beginning, there was no question of whether I agreed or not, the meaning of my existence was determined by you, and I think I could fall asleep...... From your point of view, it's great that you don't need me anymore, isn't it?"
"Well......" Standing in the beautiful sun and wind, Zhaohua smiled with tears, "This is right, I am Zhang Zhaohua, I will walk on the right path!"
Bathed in golden light, his divided world finally became one.
-
When he opened his eyes, still shrouded in soft gold, Zhaohua turned his head sideways, and the sun fell from the feathery clouds, and the moist cool breeze broke in.
After lying briskly for a while, there was a knock on his door.
"Zhaohua, are you up?"
"Look, it's almost time for dinner, we've got to get there. β
"Ah, I'll be fine right away!" he heard Cedar and Sheng's voices, and he immediately got up and went to open the door.
"How do you feel?" Sheng asked with concern, looking at him carefully.
"No problem, he threw in the towel. β
"That's good. I will ask Xiao Ruan to prepare a few pairs of calming medicines for you, and you can drink them for a few days. β
"Thank you, everyone is fine after the battle, only I have to trouble you......" I have always hated bothering others, Zhaohua lowered his head again, and Sheng patted him on the shoulder heartily.
"There's no trouble," he is still such a beautiful boy with amazing appearance, and Tono Sheng, who is determined to be better than the past, is no longer the ruthless strategist of the past, "It's okay, congratulations." You guys go back first, I'll go find Xiao Ruan - remember to leave me food, okay?"
"Yes. Cedar smiled and agreed, and then walked downstairs with Zhaohua.
"Musk isn't going to show up, is he?" Cedar asked quietly, resuming a somewhat awkward daily conversation, but Zhaohua still smiled and nodded.
"Hmm. β
"It just rained, you know?"
"Hmm. β
"Let's go, I asked, there is your favorite bamboo shoots and duck soup tonight! I'm hungry just thinking about the sweet taste...... Harden loves this too, and we might not be able to eat it if we don't hurry up!"
Seeing Cedar's rapidly changing expression, Zhaohua couldn't help laughing, and said thank you softly as he walked.
"Huh?" Cedar looked at him puzzled, "Thanks for what?"
(Thank you for remembering my preferences...... Zhaohua just smiled and walked on the path of Xinqing.
"The air is so nice. Cedar stretched.
"Yes......" Zhaohua looked at the moist blue sky, and there were telephone poles in his field of vision, and the birds jumping on the wires were like jumping notes on the staff.
That's a lot...... He thought and spoke again: "I don't know why, they all only stand on this paragraph. β
"yes, why...... No, isn't there another one over there?" Cedar looked over and pointed to the other side of the telephone pole, where there was indeed a lone one.
The little bird standing alone seemed to have nothing to do with the flock of birds playing next to itβ
Isn't it all together......
"Ah, flying. Cedar spoke again when he wandered, and he looked over, and the little bird had flown to the next door and landed next to the other birds. As it approached, the bird next to it naturally leaned over and played without any suspicion.
Ah, it's just yourself who feels lonely, right?
"I can't communicate with the animals yet, but they're happy. β
"Well," Zhaohua responded with a smile, his eyes following the flock of birds flying up to the broad blue sky, "After the bird's nest is dried, the flying body will be lighter." β
fin.
-concentrate
The last sentence is from Bai Juyi's "Evening Sunshine".
Inspired by the song of the same name by the Fairy Empire, "Solitude":
The wind blows and calms the sky
It's like a wild bird that understands freedom
Time, reincarnation
Every time, I have transformed my current self into a new face
It's beautiful
Alone time makes me emotionally high
In the chaos around me, there is no longer confusion
The past me binds the present
Imprisoned yesterday and gasping for breath
If you want to be free, you must first immerse yourself in solitude
Only thinking is the golden key
Solitude
From the beginning it was like a sign of a small heart
Those who seek change are fierce
If you want to take a break from the dull days
The only way to change yourself is to change yourself
NO MORE FEAR
β
The wind blows and calms the sky
It's like a wild bird that understands freedom
Time, reincarnation
Every time, I have transformed my current self into a new face
Free thinking has made my aesthetic more mature
Advice that hinders my progress
Won't lose to counterfeit attacks
Burying yesterday's me, I begin to recover today
Because of inertia, everyday happiness
It wasn't long before it cannibalized my brain
Solitude
No matter who greets the results alone
Until then, I greet you with a smile
Live strong than condemn the complaining words
The important thing is to change oneself in the past
β
The past me binds the present
Imprisoned yesterday and gasping for breath
If you want to be free, you must first immerse yourself in solitude
Only thinking is the golden key
Solitude
From the beginning it was like a sign of a small heart
Those who seek change are fierce
If you want to take a break from the dull days
The only way to change yourself is to change yourself
NO MORE FEAR
Feel lonely
Believe in yourself