[Four: The Heart of the Moth]

Ge Sheng Mengchu, vines in the wild.

Yu Mei died here, who was alone.

Ge Sheng is covered with thorns, and the vines are in the domain.

Yu Mei died here, who is alone.

The corner pillow is sloppy, and the brocade is rotten.

Yu Mei died here, who is with Dudan.

Summer days, winter nights.

After the age of 100, he returns to his home.

Winter nights, summer days.

After the age of 100, it will be returned to its chamber.

-

When Zhaohua walked into the study, the first thing he saw was the ink that had not dried. The words are very beautiful, the strength is deeply hidden by the rich strokes, it looks like the pen and ink are heavy, and it should be very slow when writing.

I guess it was sad when I wrote it...... Watching He Yanfang put the words aside, Zhaohua thought.

He Yanfang turned around and sat down with him, his expression still calm.

"Look, you know what I'm copying. He Yanfang brewed tea and asked indifferently.

Zhaohua nodded lightly: "The Book of Songs, a poem by Tang Feng, Ge Sheng ......"

It is a mourning poem...... I wanted to say it, but he didn't—he wasn't a man of many words, and he didn't want to be perceived as a showman. The atmosphere here is too quiet, it seems that there is no need for superfluous words, and He Yanfang should also understand what he thinks in his heart.

"Let's drink tea," He Yanfang poured tea for him, his soft and calm voice dyed with the haze of tea smoke, "I plan to talk to the Nine Giants separately, benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom, faith, loyalty, filial piety, honesty and bravery, and tonight I want to talk to the Giants of Benevolence." ”

"You Mochizuki senior, then I ......"

"If you're interested, let's sit together, it's just an old man's chatter......" He Yanfang took a sip of tea and suddenly frowned, "Zhaohua, does this tea taste normal?"

"Huh?" Zhaohua took a sip of tea, pure phoenix single bush tea, the soup color was yellow and green, and the aroma like Zhilan was clear, "The tea is very good." ”

"Is it......" He Yanfang took another sip of tea, and then smiled, "Is it an illusion...... I suddenly felt that the taste was not right, probably because my nerves were too nervous. ”

"Doesn't it matter, you've been feeling unwell lately, could it be the effect of Gu poison?"

"Probably......" He Yanfang continued to drink tea, and Zhaohua noticed that he frowned slightly when he drank it, but he still swallowed the tea soup.

"It really doesn't matter? Let Doctor Ruan take a look? If you don't want to alarm too many people, you can let Cedar and Sister Dengzhi take a look. ”

"It's okay, it'll be fine in a while......" He Yanfang showed a nostalgic expression, "This reminds me of the past, my senior brother often had a bad sense of taste because of trying pills. ”

Is it light...... I always feel that the hundred miles mentioned by He Yanfang in his words are different from the hundred miles described by others, is this the case or is He Yanfang too gentle? I wanted to speak but felt hesitant, Zhaohua was just speechless in the end.

They sat in silence for a while, and Jean brought Mochizuki in. Mochizuki seemed surprised at the moment he saw Zhaohua, and when he caught a glimpse of the words again, he flashed sadness, but immediately regained his composure.

"I'm going out on some errands and I'll be back soon. Before going out, Jean said casually, He Yanfang didn't ask, and nodded directly.

There were only three of them in the study now, and Zhaohua felt cramped for a while, so he had to sip green tea slowly, the tea soup was mellow and long, and the fragrance of his teeth and cheeks made him settle down a little.

"We don't have to see the outside," He Yanfang said slowly, "Mochizuki, it's rare to be quiet, let's talk about the deceased." ”

"Ge Sheng Mengchu, the vines are in the wilderness......" Mochizuki smiled bitterly, and the sadness in his expression was even stronger, "Yes, you and I are like this." ”

Seeing Zhaohua's puzzled expression, He Yanfang sighed lightly: "Zhaohua, you don't know yet, Mochizuki and 'Deep Snow'." ”

"'Deep Snow' - Sanniang, she is my wife with knotted hair. Mochizuki spoke softly, which also made Zhaohua stunned. Shen Xue Rou, one of Yan Ying's nine fierce girls, also had this connection with the Academy.

On weekdays, he is a steady young man who always smiles like He Yanfang, and the color of his eyes is like a gray pool bottom leaf under the lamp: "Adults know "Peacock Flying Southeast", right?"

Seeing Zhaohua nodding, Mochizuki also bowed his head, and his face with thick shadows in the faint light seemed to be covered with the color of the earth of the tomb for a long time: "I won't say the details, me and her are similar to "Peacock Flying Southeast". ”

"In the atmosphere of the Demon King Capital, everyone is very secretive about the deceased," He Yanfang poured tea for Mochizuki again, "But don't say it on the surface, you still have feelings in your heart, right?"

Mochizuki smiled bitterly and sighed deeply: "Yes, how could it not be......"

There was silence in the room for a moment, and then, through the swirling tea smoke, Zhaohua heard Mochizuki say firmly-

"I loved her and never changed my mind. ”

He Yanfang didn't answer, and Mochizuki continued: "I love her, but I didn't do my duty as a husband, and I didn't protect her under the pressure of the clan...... She was originally gentle and virtuous, and she became a wanton demon king, also because she was oppressed too much in my You family...... I'm ashamed of her. ”

There was only a faint chirp of insects in the room, and the flying insects from the courtyard persistently struck the shade of the lamp painted with bluegrass, making a slight and frenzied rustle.

"Then do you believe that she can be resurrected?" He Yanfang asked him slowly.

In the soft light, his gaze flickered, and his expression that had been slightly relieved tightened painfully.

"I don......'t know," he said bitterly after a long time, "I think there is a technique for raising and dying, but is it still the original her...... If she kills the living in such a vicious way, then I should kill her, right?"

He clenched his teacup and whispered, "The dead are gone." ”

"Did you really convince yourself like that?" He Yanfang asked bluntly, which made Mochizuki laugh self-deprecatingly.

"I really can't hide it from you......" He said bitterly, and He Yanfang smiled sadly.

"It's not a matter of hiding it," the smiling disguise began to peel off, He Yanfang made tea gently, and the dark eyes when he lowered his head seemed to be an abyss that could not be lighted, "It's just that your state looks too similar to me." ”

Mochizuki looked at him quietly for a moment, and said with a sigh: "You always look very indifferent, and it seems that you have let go. ”

"In fact, on the contrary," He Yanfang smiled slightly, and under the almost indifferent appearance, the bone-eating pain exuded coldness, "I...... became Yu Xuan. ”

Zhaohua, who had been listening silently, was shocked, Mochizuki was also surprised, and after a while, he smiled dismally: "Yes, this is the life trajectory of Xia Bai Ze Yu Xuan...... I can't believe that you are so miserable that you merge your body and mind with it......"

Mochizuki paused again and chuckled, "That one was so angry at the time, is it because of this......

"What?" He Yanfang was stunned for a moment, then frowned, "You said Oreo?"

"Yes, he's always opposed you coming back, right? He also taught you a lesson from your superiors, and we all thought at that time, you really made a good friend...... Mr. Milton is such a man who refuses to give in to any power, and perhaps it will take his courage to solve such a thing?"

I don't know what touched He Yanfang, and his always calm expression showed disgust: "In this matter, I won't rely on his strength." ”

"You don't seem to like mentioning him, am I being too presumptuous?"

"It's okay...... I just don't want to compare myself to him at home," He Yanfang shook his head, "I can't solve this incident with his thinking, and he won't understand, I don't want him to intervene." ”

"That's right, after all, it's our own business......" Mochizuki nodded, took a sip of green tea, and then slowly spoke, "My soul can't get out of the long night without her...... I don't know how to atone for my sins, and I can never make up for my mistakes, so ...... I should be convinced that she will not come back, and that she should be buried with great honor...... But why do I condone the 'Dead Alien', and do I want to see her bones wander around in the form of a terrible ghost......

Zhaohua could see that his body was trembling slightly, and a child didn't seem to be able to taste the pain, but the heavy feeling of depression could still be felt.

"What do you think?" Mochizuki asked softly, his voice floating in the air and then drifting away like smoke.

He Yanfang took a deep breath, and then spoke: "In my mind, Yu Xuan will always be that strong, upright and innocent girl, she will not be the dead. ”

He paused, then shook his head with a self-deprecating smile, "But I'm often shaken, and wonder what if it's really her, what if that's what she wants to do?"

He raised his eyes to look directly at Mochizuki and said calmly and decisively, "I should have seen 'her' with my own eyes before thinking about what to do!"

Mochizuki's expression, which had been heavy and lifeless, fluctuated as if he had been shaken.

"Even in the worst-case scenario, if she were the dead, I feel guilty, but the people who were mutilated owe her nothing. Needless to say, I have to stop all of this right now. Even if it is revenge, she can only come at me, so I don't believe that conniving at the dead is atonement and appeasement. ”

"But......" Mochizuki stopped talking, his pale and haggard face had a little life, but the grief was difficult to dissolve, like a miasma that lingered in the deep valley.

He turned his head sideways to look at the moth resting on the wall, its wide brown wings flattened, and the dark blue markings with peach-colored flying shadows were like eyes under the dark cloud-like patterns that intersected shades.

After a moment of fascination, he asked bitterly, "Have you dreamed of Yu Xuan?"

"I've dreamed of it, and I've dreamed it many times. Sometimes it's her smile, sometimes it's her resentful and miserable look......" He Yanfang's tone was soft, and soft shadows fell from his lowered eyelashes, "But why am I still alive, I think the fact that I am alive shows that I should do something." ”

Mochizuki listened to him silently, and then sighed: "You are so strong, but I ......"

His vain gaze turned to the side, as if looking at the moth that struck the lampshade: "Sanniang, she...... It's not like Yu Xuan, it's an evil demon. I don't have the justice I can believe in, and I sometimes wonder what if I really love her, what if I accompany her to fall and be buried with her......"

"In that case, wouldn't it be nice to die?" He Yanfang lightly threw out such a ruthless question, which made Zhaohua feel terrified again.

"yes, why didn't you do that......" Mochizuki smiled unfazedly and asked rhetorically, "Then why are you still alive?"

"I thought about it, but in the end I gave up, following death is the most inexplicable way, it is more difficult to live than to die," He Yanfang lowered his eyes and looked stoic, "Only the living can carry the weight of the dead." ”

"I know I can't follow her death, but what have I been doing for so long......? I know it's useless to indulge in this, but ......" Mochizuki lowered his head and just stared at the hibiscus sinking in the tea bowl.

Listening to his words, Zhaohua looked at the moth that was desperately hitting the lampshade.

Fall and death should be easy, but is that okay? Isn't it the most futile thing to say that atonement is just to engrave that pain?

After all, I just didn't do anything.

"I seem to understand after listening to your words...... My remorse is not a reason for others to suffer calamity. After all this time, a light smile finally appeared on Mochizuki's forbearant face.

"I want to find out the truth about the deceased, and I want to know whether 'she' exists or not, and what she wants. ”

The iron-like sense of depravity dissipated...... Zhaohua seemed to see the monster loosen its claws—the demon in the form of Deep Snow Soft, who had grabbed Mochizuki from behind, had been defeated by the host.

"I've always known that there are black shrines in the Demon King that are different for the dead...... And there must be something wrong with the sanatorium and the Nine Giants. Mochizuki exhaled and said slowly.

"There is a lot of concealment between the Nine Giants, I understand, but if you have any basis for the sanatorium?"

"The black shrine rune paper flows from there, and the most such thoughts are probably the seriously injured, the long-aimed and the dying. ”

"Harden ...... Will it be affected?" Zhaohua couldn't help but worry.

"The scariest thing for us is the unknown, but now that we know it, we shouldn't get hurt anymore. He Yanfang said calmly, staring at the moon.

"Sure enough, you're going to stop it, huh?"

"Mochizuki, can you go back and deal with those demons that belonged to yesterday again?"

"I will, I should find out if I go to the sanatorium right away," Mochizuki nodded, and then smiled faintly, "Maybe I'll still be confused, but I can find my way." ”

He got up to take his leave, and when he opened the door, the withered brown moth that had been fluttering indoors had finally flown out of the window and into the night.

"Gone......" Zhaohua muttered.

"Is that a moth?" He Yanfang asked, "It's a blue-eyed moth, it's quite big, isn't it?"

"The blue spots on those wings really look like eyes......" Zhaohua looked at him and nodded.

"The pink color above the blue spots looks like a woman's eyeshadow. He Yanfang smiled slightly.

"There is a saying in my hometown that moths may house the souls of the deceased, and they will return to the people who are concerned about them. ”

Listening quietly and looking sideways at the window, He Yanfang's expression was gentle: "This statement is a bit warm." ”

"Hmm. ”

Thoughts, fanaticism, helplessness, and finally solace...... A moth is like a symbol of love between the living and the dead.

"Mr. He......"

"Huh?" He Yanfang, who looked out the window, turned his head.

"You say...... You have become the ...... of Shirakuzawa Yu Xuan"

"Are you still using honorifics, there's no need," He Yanfang deepened his smile again, "As for that...... You are such a gentle child, but don't feel sorry for me, I don't feel unfree or lose myself, the life that Yu Xuan is looking forward to is also what I want to have, live with integrity, work hard to love and be loved, this is not a bad thing. I used to be full of evil, but I'm glad I can still be loved. ”

There was still a hint of bitterness on his face, but his heart was still determined in the whirlpool of calamity. Her heart, his heart, life and death are separated but still connected.

Even if she has been trapped in a confusion of day and night since her death, even if her thoughts grow like moss all over her body, this heart full of pain and determination is still the source of love, wanting to save herself from karmic fire, wanting to redeem people from demonic thoughts, and fighting endlessly.

The fluttering moth covers the moon candle, see the cooking anointing oil sin and no redemption (note). The collapsing mansion of malice awaits its final ruin, and the demons expect that love and remorse will give birth to an eternal night in the hearts of the living, but this night, loneliness gives birth to another dawn.

—

Preview: "Scarabs, if worn near the heart, are said to protect the heart and bring good luck." ”

"This heart must be passed on to Harden. ”

"He's not going to take it, he'...... I hate it the most. ”

"You and him...... What the hell is going on?"

There are some things that can't be said yet...... The deep prayer is pinned on the insects that work silently, the hesitant steps, the words that cannot be conveyed, how can we make the closed heart understand that we are loved?

"I want him to understand ...... anyway"

Screaming so you can hear, still calling your name incessantly—

Tonight, please accept this silent scarab beetle and feel the silent mind quietly.

Next, Scarab Night.

-concentrate

Dancing Moths...... Mo Ransom: From the Song Dynasty poet Chen Youyi's "Fireflies"