"On September 23rd, the weather was fine and the freshman party was over, and I agreed to participate in the English essay contest with my tutor, and I had to work and study while thinking about how to start writing. It was also on this day that I met a junior who didn't talk much and worked very hard. ”

What caught my eye was a line of beautiful handwriting, talking about the first time the two met. It was the fall of last year, and Li Qingyuan worked for the first time in college.

"In him, I saw myself, so I wanted to get closer and maybe help, but after two days, I didn't see him again, and I heard that I thought the money was too little, so I went to the university town. At the time, many people called him stupid, but only I understood that the money was really small. ”

"Living alone in a school, in addition to the tuition fee, you also need four sets of seasonal clothes. Change two sets in the summer, two sets in the fall, and if it's cold, you can also change them together. In addition to clothes, you also need money to punch cards, and in addition to eating, you also need money to go to the library or computer lab. ”

"There are also clubs, which require a fee to teach every year, which is of course not a lot, but for people who have no money like themselves, it is actually very reluctant. In addition, there are necessary expenses, such as haircuts, car rides, etc., and when you are in a good mood, you can also have a cup of milk tea and buy books. ”

"It's not enough to rely on work-study money to meet school life, I can fully experience this, and if I didn't have three jobs and enough time, I would have chosen to leave. ”

Seeing this, Li Qingyuan was silent, when school started, he had a really hard time. The family scraped together to come up with tuition fees and travel expenses, and the remaining little money, if you save a little, it is enough for a week's living expenses.

It was useless to rely on work-study, because after a week he would starve to death, so he had to find a daily job. I didn't think about it so much at the time, after all, in order to survive, some words and rumors were left behind, and he didn't care about anything for work.

"On the National Day, the sun is shining, and Sister Su has introduced another job, and she is in a good mood. So I followed the sisters out into the street and saw the guy handing out leaflets at the intersection. I went up to talk to me in a fun mood, but I didn't expect people to remember my senior sister at all, embarrassed!"

Li Qingyuan smiled knowingly, in his memory, this was the first meeting with Lin Lan, which left a deep impression on him. It was also from this time that the two gradually got in touch.

"On Chinese New Year's Eve, the family is very lively, Lan Lan and Sister Su have come over, I know they are afraid that we will be lonely. But with my mother, I'm not alone, and I'm grateful to them. ”

"Sister Su is very good, every once in a while she will give me a job as a translator, and the New Year will be spent at work, even if it is at home, I can make money, so I asked my mother to quit her job and want her to rest at home. ”

"I had a big fight with my mother, and I knew it was me who was wrong, and my tone was a little bad. But my mother's health is very weak, and I want her to quit her job and go to the hospital for a check-up. I know she has a bad waist and now I have some savings, so I want to take her to the hospital. ”

"My mother won, but I can't tell her, because the family still owes money, and she wants me to pay it off. She said she didn't want me to owe too much to others because it would be looked down upon. I knew she was doing it for my good, but I didn't say a word to her that night. ”

It turns out that this is the case, so Lin Lan didn't know about her aunt's illness? If she had gone to the hospital earlier, maybe she would have ...... A faint sadness surged out of Li Qingyuan's body.

Maybe my aunt already knew that something was wrong with her body, and the reason why she resolutely didn't go to the hospital was because she was afraid of causing trouble to Lin Lan...... This is a respectable mother.

Li Qingyuan thought, his eyes were a little moist, and he turned the next page again.

"School has started, and finally come to the second semester of my junior year, and this year is going to be my senior year. I have more time, I can work and earn money, and I feel happy. It turned out that his name was Li Qingyuan, a student of the history department, and he had a very strange name, why not Li Yuanqing? ”

"Xiao Lizi didn't have the Muna he imagined, he was very flexible when he worked, I introduced him to several previous bosses, and he was unexpectedly well received. It's really not an easy thing to get these mean people to say good things. ”

......

It was already eleven o'clock in the evening, and Yang Lan was lying on the escort bed and fell asleep. Today, she was frightened and ran back and forth, and she was really tired.

Li Qingyuan sat on the chair next to the bed, facing the dim light, looking through Lin Lan's notes page by page. The senior ward was quiet, there was no groaning from the other patients, and he was more engaged.

"When I came back from Aunt Xia's house, I didn't expect to meet Xiao Lizi, he looked very depressed, and only after learning about it did he learn that he was copied by his employer. I feel very angry, I know how hard Xiao Lizi works, but the world is so unfair. To comfort him, I decided to treat him to a late-night snack. ”

"There was an accident in the car, the driver braked too hard, and I couldn't sit down in a bump, and his forehead hit my arm. It hurts, but I just hold back. Funnily enough, he suddenly became shy, very interesting little boy. ”

I could see the nervousness in his heart afterwards, and I tried to do something to calm him down, but there was nothing to say all the way, and the atmosphere was awkward. I took him to the barbecue stall, and I happened to pay a salary, so I treated him generously, which seemed to stimulate Xiao Lizi's self-esteem, so I agreed with him to invite him back when he had money, and he agreed. ”

......

"Little Lizi is getting more and more interesting, his English skills are so good that even I feel ashamed of myself, like this, sooner or later, he will shine. ”

"Since introducing him to Sister Su, I can notice that Xiao Lizi's gaze on me has changed a little. Admittedly, we have a good feeling for each other, but I don't think we can get together, I'm older than him, and the family situation is ...... I don't want to be a burden. ”

"I did like him, and it was a laughable and sentimental thing. Because I liked it, I had to distance myself from him, even though he was so sad. ”

"For me, love should be a luxury, I don't expect a vigorous love, I just need an ordinary family to raise my own children. I also don't have time for a relationship, I have to work hard to earn money and treat my mother, I don't want to lose her too soon. ”

"I just came back from the company, I thought about him like crazy, took out my mobile phone, and hesitated for a long time without calling. I decided to forget about him, I didn't log on to the school intranet, and I wanted to escape from his world. His presence made me weak, this is not allowed, I have to be strong. ”

The diary writes that the time is when Lin Lan officially entered the company, that is, the third day after she invited everyone to dinner that day. There was a blank space in the back, presumably because Lin Lan was busy with work and had no time to write, maybe that's why he put the diary home.

Li Qingyuan closed his hand lightly, his thoughts fluctuated, and he didn't know whether he was sad or happy.

He finally knew that she loved herself, but her love couldn't be easily shown.

And he, like a fool, is still feeling sorry for himself.