After the fifth watch, I will report to you on the recent situation.

During this time, Lao Xiao has been thinking about whether to write anymore.

After knowing the result, Lao Xiao has been thinking about a question, if Lao Xiao hadn't started writing this book, would the result be different.

Very early on, Lao Xiao understood that any assumption that starts with "if I didn't have it at the beginning" and "what if I happened at that time" is useless to reality.

But people are like this sometimes, when they are frustrated, lost, and sad, they always think that if I hadn't done this, the result would have been better.

Will it?

People who are on the edge of a cliff and fall into self-assumptions can easily give the answer, yes, yes, as long as I am given another chance, as long as I didn't do anything then, I definitely won't be like this now.

When drowning, one instinctively grabs anything that can be grasped, even if it's just a straw of nothingness.

Lao Xiao once fell into this mood, but the truth is that there is no answer to this question, after the clock passes, we can turn the knob and rewind the needle back, but time does not work, time passes, we will not have any chance, not once.

Lao Xiao has been thinking about whether to write it down again.

Lao Xiao's code word speed is turtle speed, and it takes at least three hours to complete and revise each chapter, plus the idea before writing, which is really too energy-consuming.

As for the upper limit of writing a chapter, Lao Xiao doesn't know, Lao Xiao even wrote a chapter for five hours or six hours, and the book friends who have been following him should know which chapter it is.

In fact, after that chapter was written, Lao Xiao always wanted to go to the book review to ask everyone how they felt about that chapter, that chapter was really hard to write, when it was written, Lao Xiao had a feeling that he was about to collapse, but he was very excited mentally, and he felt that everything was worth it, but in the end Lao Xiao still didn't dare, what if everyone didn't like it, rather than that, it was better to leave it like this, at least you can keep a thought, you can comfort yourself, maybe everyone will like it.

When I read the book review later, a book friend said that the chapter was in the water plot, to be honest, Lao Xiao was a little uncomfortable, but Lao Xiao just looked at it silently, there was no comment and no deletion, everyone reads the book, each has its own taste, Lao Xiao knows that it is impossible to satisfy everyone.

It's just that I'm a little sad after all.,A chapter that I worked hard to write.,The result turned out to be like this.,The thought in my heart at the time was,It's good that I couldn't help but ask at the time.,Otherwise, it would really hurt to slap your face.,Haha.。

Lao Xiao has especially looked at the data in the background, the situation in that chapter is similar to other chapters, the data is very average, it seems that it is not worth it, the same time can code two chapters, double the data, but until now, Lao Xiao still does not regret writing this chapter.

Then came the Spring Festival.

Lao Xiao didn't have a good time during the Spring Festival, many chores at home, and inquiries from relatives left and right, these things made Lao Xiao feel powerless and overwhelmed.

They are all very close people by blood, but we see each other every year, probably twice, blood closeness, so that they can ask some very personal questions as a matter of course, they may not have malicious intentions, but at the pass of the New Year, after congratulating each other on the New Year, in order to avoid embarrassing silence with each other, routine inquiries.

A lie can solve these problems very satisfactorily, but how to say, Lao Xiao doesn't want to lie, it's not that he can't bear it, and it's not that it's not good to lie, Lao Xiao has always believed that people should face up to their own situation, calmly recognize the situation they are in, see their weaknesses, and then break through.

Intellectually, Lao Xiao doesn't think there is anything wrong with him, he tried and then failed, this is a fact, it's just like this, but after all, it's a little embarrassing, maybe Lao Xiao still can't let go of his vanity and cheekiness.

Children can be carefree, their age does not need and should not take responsibility, study hard, work hard for the score ranking, have friends who can call the Internet café with a hula sound, have hobbies, and secretly like people, so it's good, everyone comes over like this, but adults can't.

An adult who has gone to the society, suddenly lost his job, lost the capital to settle down, the future is uncertain, he doesn't know where to go next, his classmates and friends around him are fighting for their careers, there are difficult bosses, there are awkward girlfriends, and sometimes they secretly look at the information of the newly opened real estate, only to see a series of dazzling zeros behind, they can only sigh and put down the newspaper in their hands.

Everyone is living so painfully and happily, staying up at work, looking forward to hope, and sometimes watching them post on Moments to complain about how hard the work is, they will have a feeling of envy.

Anyway, it feels like I'm an alien, a monster, outside of everyone in the mainstream.

At that time, Lao Xiao didn't realize these when he resigned, there was happiness, relief, and a faint expectation for the future, which was glowing, and it seemed that even the air was fresh, and he was full of these feelings at that time, and he was holding back a lot of energy in his heart, wanting to prove to the surroundings that his path was not wrong.

It was only then that I slowly realized that the job I hated at the beginning, the job I desperately wanted to get away with, was so important to me, that it constituted my social existence, anchored my position in society, and it was a proof that I was able to exist in society.

Work is really important.

Old Xiao joked with friends before the New Year, otherwise run away after eating Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, buy a ticket to the northernmost point of China, don't get off, just keep floating on the train, wake up and look at the scenery outside the window, solve it on the train when you are hungry, cross the Yangtze River, cross the Yellow River, from the warm south to the snowy northern wilderness, the scenery on the road must be very beautiful, maybe you can meet a lot of interesting people, people who do not go home in the Chinese New Year's Eve must not be ordinary people, they will have a lot of stories, we can drink together, chat together, and go to the northernmost place together。 At that time, the more I thought about it, the more excited I became, and I even thought about what snacks to bring to the car.

Of course, just think about it.

Half a month after the New Year, Lao Xiao has been staying in the room, except for eating, basically not out of the room, except for a few old classmates who have not seen each other for a long time from other places, the others have all refused, what if you see it, eat and drink and then sing, this process has been many years, and even the place of eating is fixed, they are all very good, but I am not in the mood, or I dare not go.

It's a pity that I thought it should be a very happy party, but something went wrong, after all, so many years of friends, after all, I haven't gotten together so neatly for so long, three years or four years, I can't remember, we are the kind of friends who don't need to drink, a few people together, a cup of tea or a drink can brag and chat together, it's really a pity.

A few people met and talked about their recent situation, Lao Xiao didn't hide anything, to tell the truth, Lao Xiao didn't believe that he would hear anything strange from them, after all, they were friends for so many years.

It's just that one of them may also have been working hard recently, drinking tea but being wine, he said some bad things, I didn't argue, I can't argue, that's the case, in fact, there is really no noise, and I didn't scold the mother, but we all know that the taste is wrong, and everyone left in a hurry, and then a few days later, the seventh and eighth days of the new year, everyone also went their separate ways.

In the next half a month, Lao Xiao has been staying in the room, waking up to eat and sleep, sometimes reading, sometimes swiping Weibo and laughing, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night and staring out of the window in a daze, this is the life of this half a month, and during this period, the classmates and friends around him have begun to recover from annual leave and enter the state of work.

Lao Xiao didn't open QQ for half a month, WeChat, friends from the university in the group chatted happily, Lao Xiao watched them chat, and followed the fun, but Lao Xiao didn't speak, half a month, I didn't dare to make a word in the group, sometimes I even made up how to complain, but when I sent it out, my heart was tight, and then I silently deleted it.

I will brush the space every day, the circle of friends, these old Xiao used to watch it once a few days, but now it has almost become a daily must-have task, one brush, two brushes and three brushes every day, until there is no brush.

Sometimes there is a sense of shame when looking at the space and the circle of friends, across the screen, wantonly watching the lives of others, and then leaving without saying a word, this feeling was not before, when Lao Xiao brushed the circle of friends in the past, he rarely replied, even if he replied, he sent a smile or a haha to the extent, more often it was a silent like, if the circle of friends can also present awards, then the certificate of praise of friends should be sent to me, the group can be casually hi, but the circle of friends is a public occasion after all, always pay attention to your own image。

In that half a month, Lao Xiao clearly felt this sense of shame, like a voyeur, watching other people's lives unscrupulously across the screen, how could he do such a thing, I know that they are ready for people to watch when they send it out, I know that they have acquiesced to my onlookers without shielding, but I still feel a sense of shame.

I know I'm having a problem with myself.

It's a lot better now, and I've been busy with some things at home lately, and I happen to be short of manpower, and everyone else is outside, so I can just help.

It's been a busy few days, all kinds of bits and pieces are piled up, to be honest, I still don't like these trivial and complicated things, but my life is a little fuller, and it's much better than before.

About this book, during this time, Lao Xiao wanted to understand a truth, it is a part of life, but you can't let it ruin your life, this is Lao Xiao's request to himself, and it is also the standard for himself.

Nagging and talking so much, that's what Lao Xiao wants to share with everyone, Lao Xiao has come over like this during this time, no matter what, it can be regarded as a formal report to everyone.

These five chapters were scattered during this time, so they were simply sent out to everyone, and with Lao Xiao's hand speed, I wanted to code out five chapters a day...... Well, everyone drinks tea and drinks tea.

These two chapter updates have actually been changed, and it has been delayed until now in order to write this update note (fog), so let's update it together.

The last is the follow-up update.,Isn't that the point?,It should be bold at the beginning of the home page (don't put it behind.,How can you finish reading the front?),Ahem,The highlight is to put it in the back.,Highlight the key points.

Then it's really the last update.,Monday to Friday.,Update at five o'clock in the afternoon every day.,Double more with fate.,Strive for double change on weekends.,That's it.。

After writing and reading it, I felt a little depressed, and I was going to delete some of the content, but I thought about it, but I thought about it, and if I felt a little gray after reading it, then I would make up for it in it.,I'm writing a very happy plot these days.,Fun while writing.,Everyone should be able to see it in a few days.,Haha.。