Xie Zebo, today is November 24th, which is a suitable day for an alliance, but yesterday I contacted Jiang Linfeng, and he said that he would not come back until the beginning of next month.

In the morning, I set an alarm clock for 6 o'clock and wanted to change my schedule again.

If we live together in the future, I think I should get up at 6 o'clock to make breakfast for you, and my mother-in-law said yesterday that the millet porridge I made is not bad.

I've lived alone for so many years, and I like to mess around with gadgets, including cooking, of course.

But when I woke up, I lay on the bed and read the letter to you, imagining if you would read it over and over again, and if you would be as intoxicated as I was?

It didn't matter, but it took 40 minutes.

When I went downstairs to boil water in the kitchen, I saw the crystal clear steam water on the lid of the pot, after a night of natural precipitation, on the shiny stainless steel lid like a high-quality white crystal, I suddenly wanted to put them in a beautiful glass bottle - just like when I was a child, under the guidance of my father-in-law, I always put beautiful snowflakes into the jar and use them in the summer.

In the second semester of the third year of junior high school, many students went to vocational high school, but I wanted to go back to the county high school again, so I often took cold showers in the winter to improve, and in the summer, I put the snow water collected in the jar in the well water.

I remember that on the day I filled in the volunteer, the chubby head teacher Du Lao called me to his office, pointed to my application for the exam, touched the frame of his glasses, and asked me firmly, "Qin Qin, are you sure you want to study in the county again?"

The tone in which he said this was the same as when I was transferred back to Guangji from the county.

In the classroom where we entered the school to do chemistry experiments, we queued up to pay 400 yuan for tuition - that classroom was actually a chemistry laboratory.

When I first started chemistry in the third year of junior high school, Mr. Liao Jiguang, who taught chemistry, asked me to worship from the bottom of my heart.

Not because he taught my elders chemistry, but because of his textbooks, which amazed me—in the margins next to the text, he wrote his own notes in red pen, as if he had surpassed the amount of knowledge in the text.

Moreover, his extraordinary memory makes me willingly worship him, like him, and listen to his lectures seriously and word for word.

Every day, he took his textbook to the classroom, and after standing on the podium, he never turned the book. Let's go directly to how many pages, see how many lines and a few words, and start to read aloud collectively, and then mark the words aloud with what kind of lines, and what color pen to use next to them to make notes.

In this way, our textbooks will become like his.

Once, when someone from the Municipal Education Commission came to inspect us, he suddenly came to our classroom and asked me to go out with him.

I was at a loss to follow him - even though he was in his sixties, he was super energetic.

He told me along the way, "Don't be nervous when you're going to do the experiments." And within 5 minutes, all the experiments must be completed. Don't shake your hands. ”

I let out a long breath and remembered a chemistry experiment he had done, and it was just a demonstration—after all, the middle school in the countryside had poor facilities, but fortunately, and there were the equipment required in the textbooks, but it was not as good as the biological experiments in the county.

When I shyly walked with him into the laboratory, there were more than a dozen inspection leaders sitting under him, and after I politely introduced myself, a certain leader asked me to go directly to the podium and start experiments.

So I didn't dare to look at anyone, and carefully took the catalyst and ignited it.

When the experiment was completed within the specified time, I looked up at Liao Lao who was standing behind the leader, and his very thin and wrinkled face showed me a satisfied smile, so I was also relieved.

The leaders started grading, and he told me to hurry back to the classroom.

I left quickly, through the garden of the campus, and back to my class in the far corner.

After I transferred to another school and paid the tuition, Principal Zhang and the head teacher called me to the principal's office in the teacher's building next door and asked me solemnly, "Are you sure you want to study here?"

I smiled and said, "Yes." ”

Principal Zhang smiled happily.

But the head teacher, Du Lao, asked me: "Are you really sure?

I grinned, "Since you're here, is there any fake?" ”

Principal Zhang's face was as happy as a flower, and he said to me, "After entering your classroom, you can't turn away." ”

I looked at him playfully and said calmly, "Since I'm here, how can I turn away?"

Principal Zhang seemed to fall from heaven and continued: "Then you go and turn your file over." ”

I went home and told my aunt (Haihai), who was taking care of me at home, but she went to the county to get me a transfer file, but it was unsuccessful.

When she got home that day, she told me, "Let you go back to the county to study, anyway, the tuition fee is collected by the Agricultural Bank of China, and you can go back to study directly." ”

I said lightly: "When I signed up, I told Principal Zhang in the principal's office that since I have decided, I will not regret it." And Du Lao also said something to me, if you come, you will be safe. ”

The aunt said: "You go back to the county to study, and you are guaranteed to be sent to the top five universities in the country." ”

I listened, turned and left. Then that night, I hid under the covers and wept silently.

I thought, if I give up on myself, my father will come back?

I didn't want to believe that he had been burned to ashes, but I had put it in a bag made of red cloth with my own hands, put it in an urn more than a foot long, and buried it in the soil that I had dug a few hoes myself.

Although, I put a piece of my silver bracelet in the urn, and put the straight pants with purple and black flowers that I loved to wear under the urn.

Even during that summer vacation, I cried so much that my voice was hoarse.

I was also crying and shouting in all the streets of Guangji with the funeral procession - many, many people from the factory had come to see his face in the hospital.

But I didn't shed tears in that morgue, I stood quietly beside him, crying silently.

That day, his face was crimson, he smiled slightly, and there was no sign of poisoning—well, that was also the operating room where Qin Dan was born.

I kept asking him in my heart: Dad, are you acting for me, right? It's like the anti-Japanese film sponsored by the factory when I was a child, hanging people on a soaphorn tree and burning them? Dad, you're just joking with me, right? Dad, you want me to go with Xie Zebo, I'll just go, why be so aggressive......

Anyway, I didn't shed tears, but there was despair in my heart that scared me even - and from then on, the door of my heart was closed. I don't love any man anymore, because the man I love the most and I have admired for more than ten years, he has abandoned me.

Or with death, in such a decisive way, abandoned me.

Men's feelings are so unstable.

......

As I knelt in the damp soil, wearing the yellow shirt that Mi Ma had given me, and the drizzle was blowing, I was like a puppet, moving mechanically according to the arrangements of the adults.

When I held the soil above my head, I cracked my fingers, so that the delicate and earthy scent of the soil swept with the wind, and fell little by little on the urn, and finally buried the urn.

And that process was also the only boy I ever loved in my life, buried deep in my heart.

Xie Zebo, that person, it's you.

You don't understand my despair, you don't know that I cried for a whole summer vacation, even many, many years.

My grief is not only due to my father's abandonment of me, but also because I have forced myself not to remember you.

My aunt asked me to go back to the county, but I didn't want to.

Because I thought that his will clearly told me to return to Guangji, maybe if I stayed in this place, a miracle would happen.

Perhaps, you will also take the initiative to find me and appear in front of me, just like when I was studying, you always suddenly appeared by my side when I needed you.

At that time, my father-in-law got up at 5 o'clock and put on the radio.

He loves to listen to Wang Gang's stories.

And I had breakfast, and it was still dark.

I walked on the dark dirt road with my schoolbag on my back and was very scared. When the wind blew, I used the mantra taught by my mother-in-law to give myself courage. While pressing his fingers, he silently recited in his heart: Stability and avoid taboos, and Bara leads to Huadi. (Homogeneous)

Although I knew it was a deceptive thing, I was not afraid at that time.

For a long time, in the dark night, there was no cloudy wind.

In the winter, it was only half past five when I arrived at school, and Mr. Liu, who trained us, did not get up until six o'clock.

So Luo Fei from the next class always brought a few boys from their basketball team to our class classroom, and cheekily sat at the last position and looked at me, just looking at me anyway.

And I'm going to do my homework and ignore him.

One day in the winter of that year, we all changed into short-sleeved shorts and waited for Mr. Liu, who was wearing glasses, to train, and shivered with cold.

He suddenly called the basketball team to go to each class to search for textbooks under the desks, take them to our classroom, pile them up, and light them with lighters.

I turned my head and asked him, "It's immoral for you to do this." ”

He ignored me, continued to take out very new textbooks from under the desks of our classmates, and looked at me evilly while tearing up the books and throwing them into the fire, "It seems to be a little cold today, I don't know if I can make this classroom warmer after burning all the books under the desks of the whole school." ”

When they couldn't find the book to burn, someone directly split the table and bench and continued to burn.

I sat in the first row, about a meter from the fire, and turned my head to stare at them, feeling inexplicable. "You destroy public property, get out of our classrooms. ”

The fire was very bright and suddenly warm.

Luo Fei walked up to me, picked up my schoolbag, and poured all my books and notebooks into the fire, and the fire was suddenly fierce.

He also said to me like a demon: "It's boring to do your homework." ”

"Burn it, burn your class, burn your own. ”

I was so angry that I stood up and lifted my stool to smash him.

He ran away laughing and said, "It was cold two days ago, and my books burned out." ”

I saw his smiling face, angry and very pleasant. But when he turned to leave, I threw the stool out of my hand, and he was quick enough to step on the table and run away with the basketball team.

I never show mercy to him.

Because that's what he taught me from childhood to adulthood.

Just like he always told others last year, "My mother-in-law's temper has been cultivated by me since she was a child, and since she has cultivated it, she has to bear it herself." ”

In this life, I don't lose my temper for no reason.

Well, it only started in the first semester of the sixth grade, in order to represent the ten elementary schools in the town to participate in the table tennis competition, one afternoon, I would ride my bicycle from our elementary school to their elementary school to participate in practice.

It was the activity room on the far left side of the Central School Building.

The first time I went in, my cousin Wang Bin said to me, "I bought hundreds of Double Happiness table tennis balls here." ”

I looked at the orange and white table tennis balls and was amazed. That's a table tennis ball for 3 yuan a piece, and I instantly feel that the central school is so rich.

The blue ping-pong table is also brand new. But instead of using the table tennis racket they prepared, I asked for my brother's long handle "Double Happiness" because I like to use my brother's stuff.

Even when he used his own kite to participate in the "flying competition", I was able to win first place. After winning the first place, I was in a good mood and wrote a long essay to express my joy.

When I went to kindergarten in the countryside from Mianyang, I saw the big brothers in the technical school playing table tennis in the garden of "Zhao Landlord", and I was very envious.

The carved wooden building was a dance hall, and I went there when I was in kindergarten - my parents worked in the factory at that time, and no one cared about me.

Although my parents said that I could eat casually in a restaurant on the street, I would rather go hungry than take credit.

Later, my father took me to the snack bar opened by Granny Luo before kindergarten, and said to Granny Luo in front of me: "In the future, Qin Qin will eat here when she goes to school, and I will settle the bill every month." ”

Granny Luo smiled and said, "Just come and eat it." ”

But I didn't go.

He was very helpless, and after a while, he took me to the garden restaurant (the best restaurant at the time) and greeted the owner and asked me to eat there.

But I still won't go in to eat unless he takes me.

Later, a rose garden was built opposite the garden pavilion, and my father and I took a group photo wearing peacock blue bib pants that we bought in Mianyang when the flowers bloomed in the moon.

On that day, he was wearing sunglasses with natural citrine.

I didn't go to eat by myself, and he couldn't do anything about me, so I asked Mr. Chen from kindergarten to take me after school and wait until he got off work.

So I walked with the most beautiful teacher Chen to the "Zhao Landlord's Small Western-style Building" where the teachers practiced dancing.

When she used the key to open the door and turn on the power, the swirling colored lights hanging inside shot out a blurry light that fascinated me.

It's beautiful!

Later, when I heard my mother mention your name, my four sisters brought a dance hall lantern downstairs to my house, and when I finished my homework after school, my aunts would teach me ballroom dancing with great interest.

When all the power in the house is turned off, and only the power of the ball is turned on, suddenly there are colorful lights lingering in the dark night.

I remember my mother saying, "Your walls have wall skirtings," but I didn't feel like that — as if I didn't know what kind of environment I liked.

I'm stupid, I can't learn the "twenty-one steps" taught by the four women, let alone the "rumba" she said.