"Sonorous! sonorous! sonorous! sonorous!"

The sound of gongs and drums is constantly intertwined, and on the periphery, there is a circle of villagers standing and watching the excitement, and inside, there are several Taoist priests dressed in fancy clothes running in circles. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

There are a total of five Taoist priests, each of whom has an animal embroidered on their clothes, and when they are studied in detail, they are actually one of the nine sons of the dragon, such as gluttony and Jianhui, they wear cloud crowns on their heads, and their feet are clogs, and they are also very popular when they walk.

The one in front is a fat man, holding a peachwood sword, with words in his mouth, behind him there is a rice bowl, and there is also a portrait of the ancestor, in short, it is very formal, and the surrounding onlookers have a feeling of "not knowing it".

There was a video that came out before, in a funeral, a monk knocked on the wooden fish and recited the scriptures, but it turned out to be the tune of "Doraemon", so this white affairs team naturally worked hard, and all the Taoist scriptures were all the Taoist scriptures.

Walking down in circles and circles, followed by some other rituals, and finally the leading fat man stabbed the peach wood sword on the rune paper and waved, the rune paper burned automatically, and the surrounding villagers applauded, feeling that this Taoist priest obviously has real skills than the Taoist priest who used to see white things,

At least it's a trick!

After a lot of tossing, he finally shouted with a sword in the fat man: "Send Mr. He to ride the crane peacefully, and be a god in the Heavenly Palace!"

The villagers below applauded together, and even many people applauded, one of the middle-aged men with fat head and big ears and wearing a suit nodded with satisfaction, although the price of this white team is more expensive, but people do have two brushes, he is not short of money anyway, his father is gone, so he naturally has to make the funeral beautiful and let the people in the village see that he He Ergou is now a character.

The performance, oh no, the ceremony is over, and naturally the banquet will be opened, the fat man and the others were arranged by the host's family to have a table with the music team, five people on the Taoist side, eight people on the music team, and the big round table can also sit down.

It's just that, unlike the Taoist priests, several people on the music team have very unsightly faces, the reason is very simple, although they used to be called the music team, but in fact, they also contracted these tasks.

In the middle of the morning, the people in the music team put on the clothes of Taoist priests or monks, and began to do things in a hurry, and in the afternoon, they began to hold a village karaoke concert, holding the microphone and playing the stereo and began to sing and dance and even perform opera.

After all, for the death of the deceased, in addition to the host's family and a few close relatives are very sad, most of the guests who come to the banquet are actually to deal with an errand, but also to be related to the family, although there is no emotion and how much contact, but also must be present to pay a share of money, a meal at noon and a meal at night, it can not be said that the big guy is stupidly accompanied by the host family to grieve together, naturally you have to find some fun, the music team will meet the fun of the big guy, in the afternoon everyone around the dam, listen to the song and watch the performance, after the performance is almost time to open the dinner。

But now, more than half of the music team's errands have been robbed by these Taoist priests, and the daytime ritual is the most money-rich, and the host's family will also wrap a big funeral red envelope.

The fat man led by the Taoist priests rolled up his sleeves and ate happily, and the other Taoist priests originally wanted to pinch the shelf, but when they saw that the boss was eating so freely, they let go.

Now the rural banquet is definitely not worse than the hotel, although the price is much cheaper, but the oil and water hard dishes are absolutely bargaining.

After eating, the fat man took off his Taoist clothes, and sat there in a white shirt blowing the wind.

The music team was already preparing to set up the field, and a few people were experimenting with the microphone, "Hey, hey, hey...... Hey, hey, hey, ......hey, hey", the villagers who had eaten lunch also spontaneously gathered over, ready to enjoy the village karaoke singing.

"Brother Bayi. ”

A Taoist priest trotted over, leaned around the fat man and said, his name is Xiao Lizi, a native of Sichuan, who came out of Jiangsu to work, and was stupidly cheated and sat on the side of the road crying, and was received by the fat man.

"The person in charge of this house said that he had to let us come over during the first seven and fifth seventh, and the deposit was given. ”

The little Taoist priest stuffed the money into the fat man's pocket very interestingly.

The fat man nodded, indicating that he understood.

"Grandma, I haven't sung for a long time, let's sing a song too. ”

The fat man squeezed through the crowd with a big grin and entered the infield of the music team.

"Come, Master Dao, I'll sing a song too, okay?" said the fat man to the leader of the music team.

"Cheng, come on. "Although the leader of the music team is very unhappy with these Taoist priests who steal jobs, they are not so bad at being a person, to be honest, people who do white business, the more they will be able to behave, because as long as you say the wrong word in this industry, you will be beaten by the master's family, and you have no place to say no.

The fat man first went to choose the song disc, then put the song disc into the old-fashioned player, and then held the microphone and said:

"Fathers and fellow villagers, Mr. He went to the west of the crane and went to the sky to be a fairy, let's not be too sad, don't be too sad, everyone looks a little away, I know in my heart, Mr. He is still grateful to everyone for coming to mourn today, Mr. He is in the sky, he will also think of Taoism, but also think of his son, our boss He. ”

The sound of music sounded at this time, and although the timbre of the loudspeaker was not very clear, it was definitely enough in this empty field.

The fat man spoke into the microphone and began to sing:

"Find some free time, find some time;

Lead the child and often go home to see;

With a smile, with wishes;

Accompany my lover and often go home to see .................."

The people in the music team on the side all had a ghostly expression, so that the dead Mr. He often went home to see?

But when I saw Mr. He's son He Ergou applauding after the fat man finished singing, and even personally went down with another microphone to sing with the fat man, the talent in the music team really breathed a sigh of relief, fortunately, he met a brainless nouveau riche, otherwise he was really afraid of being affected by this stinky fat man.

The concert was noisy until half past three in the afternoon, the fat man beckoned a few people to put on their clothes again, and followed the hearse to the crematorium together.

In the car, the other Taoist priests threw their feet out while pointing their two kicks, and then shouted words like "the soul is back" and "go all the way".

The little Taoist priest beside the fat man suddenly complained, "Brother Bayi, I heard that some places are allowed to be buried, saying that they respect their customs. ”

"Let's talk nonsense, when it comes to burial, since ancient times, who has attached importance to burial by the Han people? In the past, when the ancestors died, they were pushed out into the crematorium?" The fat man lit a cigarette and gave one to a few Taoist priests around him, and the little Taoist priest also wanted to be glared at by the fat man and retracted his hand.

The fat man spit out a puff of smoke rings, "Damn, if we can still bury it now, let's make money faster, look at the feng shui to choose the tomb format, that's the most profitable place, it's a pity." ”

In the end, the fat man is still distressed about money.

The funeral procession stopped under the No. 2 bridge and drove into the funeral home, He Ergou, a filial son, held the black and white portrait of his Lao Tzu, and the fat man and the staff of the funeral home pushed the ice coffin forward.

When they got inside, the people at the funeral home didn't let the fat man interfere, and the fat man took a few steps back, followed by a team of relatives led by He Ergou.

"I said Boss He, you're crying. "The fat man made a look, and there were relatives standing behind him, your father was about to turn into ashes, why didn't you even have a tear?

"But, but, I can't cry. He Ergou said a little anxiously.

The fat man sighed, and quietly reached out and pinched He Ergou's buttocks,

He Ergou immediately burst into tears,

"My father, why did you leave like this, what did you let my son do............"

He Ergou cried out, and the relatives behind him immediately cried together, and some rushed over to stop the ice coffin and push into the incineration room, of course, this is also for show, otherwise the funeral home staff just need to spread their hands directly and say, "Okay, don't cremate and send your home" to see who will want it.

Today's thing is completely finished,

The fat man clapped his hands, walked outside, lit another cigarette, and the little Taoist priest walked up to the fat man and said, "Brother Bayi, what are you thinking?"

"Look, what's floating out of that chimney?" said the fat man, pointing to the chimney.

"Human ashes. The little Taoist priest replied.

", that's the ash from the oil sprayed in the incinerator, and the old man was just a skeleton when he died, how could he burn so much ash smoke. ”

"Oh, that's right. ”

"Little Lizi, you are so stupid. The fat man said.

"I'm stupid. The little Taoist priest admitted.

"Gua Wazi, do you know what your greatest strength is?"

"What's it?"

"Knowing that you are stupid and admitting that you are stupid is smarter than most people in this world, in the future, you will lead the team, I should teach you, and I will teach you. ”

"Brother Bayi, are you leaving?" The little Taoist priest took out his mobile phone seriously and played Alan Tam's "Can't Say Goodbye".

The fat man put his foot on the little Taoist's fart, stock, "Pull the calf, play "God of Gamblers" to the fat man!"

The little Taoist priest immediately searched for the theme song of "God of Gamblers" and played it,

The fat man laughed loudly, and slowly turned around and walked towards the incineration room in the BGM of "God of Gamblers", stretched out his hand, and took out the wad of money he just took out today from his pocket.

Throw it into the sky casually, and for a while, the RMB is flying, but it is not a dark currency.

The fat man walked all the way, and neither the staff of the funeral home nor He Ergou's relatives seemed to be able to see him,

The fat man walked into the incineration room and lay down on the conveyor belt.

"Brother Bayi, can you not burn yourself!"

The little Taoist priest patted the glass alone and shouted, and immediately a staff member came over to pull the little Taoist priest, thinking that this young man had lost his mind.

"I'll have to discuss it with my wife. The fat man shouted back.

"But you're a bachelor............" The little Taoist priest was carried out by the security guards, and the little Taoist priest suddenly went crazy in the funeral home, and the supernatural events in this funeral home had to be added to it.

"Then ...... There's no need to negotiate. ”

The fat man laughed at himself, then pressed his fingers down, and several buttons in the distance were automatically pressed,

The incinerator conveyor belt on the fat man's side began to teleport,

And the fat man lying on it stretched his waist:

"Rebuild ............"

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This chapter, be rewarded!