readx;? Shen Bang did not deny the satisfaction and pleasure that night of indulgence brought to him, but he also had no way to ignore the results of his sobriety. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

In the days when Jia Qi was frantically trying to commit suicide, Shen Bang really experienced the feeling of being so heartbroken that he was about to collapse.

In the past, those tormented times when I couldn't make it public because of secret love, now that I look back, it was also a kind of happiness.

If love is not bitter, it is just a bitter wine made by a person, because it is willing, and it will actually taste sweet in fantasy.

Unscrupulous means to possess, gain and lose. At that time, I fell into a frenzy of ecstasy and emotion, but after sobering up, I was very happy and sad.

Not to mention continuing the good feelings between them when they first met, even the ordinary relationship between superiors and subordinates is difficult to maintain.

No, in fact he never got the other person. If he had been satisfied with only momentary physical pleasures, he would not have felt supreme pain and remorse now.

He loved Jiaqi, but he destroyed him with his own hands. If this is also called love, then the so-called love must be the embodiment of pain, and the so-called marriage and family must also be the biggest lie and joke in the world.

Seeing Jia Qi's pale face that had become more and more unsmiling since that day, as well as his more and more decadent aura, he couldn't wait to rush over and hand over the sword, and let Jia Qiyi kill him with a sword to avenge his hatred.

If Jia Qi can be exchanged for a death and no longer curl up in the corner and be depressed, and self-harm when he is some kind of dirty thing, Shen Bang feels that the choice of self-punishment is also very good.

After rescuing Jia Qi for the tenth time in just one day, he completely collapsed in a certain moment and attacked himself.

But Yan Shunhua's hidden secret guard, who even he didn't know his true face, shot the sword and saved him, and then she also appeared, said a few words with an expressionless face and threw her sleeves away.

"Although your life belongs to Shen Jingyuan, it is better to live than to die if you don't want to live.

After a good acquaintance, I answered your request for Shen Jingyuan to 'apologize for his sins with death'. But before I cut myself off, please kill Jiaqi, a trouble that doesn't belong to me, so that even if we have a hundred things between us, there is no arrears. ”

Shen Bang lowered his head, trying to hide the tears that suddenly welled up.

In the past, I was afraid of being rejected and away from Jiaqi, and I didn't dare to confess, so I could only guard not far away, sometimes making some innocuous jokes, sometimes going crazy and secretly driving away the women who surrounded me, annoying people to be yelled at, and I was proud and bitter in my heart, but I could still face it with a smile, with little hope in my heart, hoping that one day I could impress the other party and break into his inner world.

I used to be afraid of being disgusted by Jia Qi, and the consequences of confession were really disgusting, but after the pain, I still bravely pushed forward, and at the same time forced him to coax him and drag him together, wanting to go on side by side.

If he can't get to the so-called heaven, even hell, he wants to take him with him to the eighteenth floor, which is the most difficult to find in the legend.

But it turned out that all these worries and fears were unnecessary, or rather, they would not be the things that caused him the most pain.

What he is afraid of is not that Jia Qi does not love him, but because of his love, Jia Qi is troubled, and he is so painful that he even wants to commit suicide, once he can't do it twice, and if he doesn't work twice, he will do it three times......

Shen Bang suddenly burst into tears, which startled Yan Shunhua.

He didn't cry when Jiaqi attempted suicide many times, and he didn't cry when he was scolded by her for his own psychological breakdown and suicide attempt, but after many days, he couldn't control his tears.

Love is not just a pity, but it is a terrible thing to cause the other party to lose the joy and will of life because of oneself.

This is an unspeakable pain, and even if you understand it, people who have not experienced it yourself cannot really understand it.

Yan Shunhua is like this at the moment.

Although she didn't know why he was out of control at first, she sighed after empathy, not only did Jia Qi need psychological counseling, but Shen Bang actually needed it too.

In Shen Bang's eyes, he committed an unpardonable sin, if it weren't for Yan Shunhua's timely appearance to stop and dispel his idea of committing suicide to apologize, I'm afraid he would have returned to the underworld by now.

He still thinks in his heart that he deserves to die, and now that his reason has returned, he can no longer draw his sword easily.

As Yan Shunhua said, his life is Shen Jingyuan's. Except for the forces of nature, only the other party has the right to dictate his stay in the world.

"Think about it, no matter what, things have already happened, and things have passed, haven't they?

Whether it's happy or sad, it's all in the past, so why bother?

Fortunately and unfortunately, there will be different explanations from a different perspective, a different time and a different occasion, and there is really no need to be too persistent. ”

Whether it is love and hatred, or right and wrong, the past is the past and will never be repeated.

It's just that she said it easily, but Shen Bang couldn't hold back her tears immediately, and Yan Shunhua was silent.

No matter how thoroughly the bystanders can see it, how sincere and clear the narration is, and how clearly the authorities know it, those who should be in pain will still be in pain, and those who should be hesitant will still be in trouble.

It's like having a bad cold, the whole person is tired and tired, sore throat, nasal congestion and runny nose, uncontrollable cough all day long, and even high fever, all these symptoms come slowly.

Even if you use medicine, it often takes a process before all the discomfort gradually subsides until it disappears and gets completely better.

After the night wind blew for a long time, and the secret guards came back to dig the pit with various tools, Shen Bang reined in his emotions and returned to the cave to be a-dumping officer.

Yan Shunhua didn't go back to sleep, and kept shuttling back and forth in the crowd.

Until all the potholes were dug and the guards who went out to look for came back with sacks, the sky was dark.

"Everyone obeys the order, rests in place, and is not allowed to move around at will!"

After she finished speaking, she called Shen Bang and left slowly.

"Whether they're really okay or not? I'm afraid something will happen. ”

Shen Bang didn't understand what she wanted to do, or rather, he guessed but couldn't believe it.

"You have to suffer a little to know what to do and what not to do. No matter how much you say, it's better to let them experience it for themselves. ”

Yan Shunhua returned to the tent and sent Shen Bang to the periphery to see where Huo Wanwan's mother and son were, and he entered the medicine tent.

Jia Qi was guarding Bai Runzhi on the side, and when he saw her come in, he immediately stood up and saluted.

"Didn't wake up?"

She waved her hand to show that she didn't need to be polite, and stepped forward to take a closer look.

Bai Runzhi's face was still flushed, but there was an indescribable paleness.

What is even more conspicuous is that even if he is unconscious, his body is like a burning fire, trembling, occasionally convulsing, and very excited. (To be continued.) )