"At the end of this movie, the hero and heroine are all dead, why are you watching it so much?"

Whenever I see someone else find movies, TV, comics, or games interesting, I feel helpless and often unhappy.

Why can't I feel all this fun?

According to my parents, my ancestors, and I, have had an instinctive instinct since ancient times, and this is a by-product of the curse we received for something we did a long time ago.

Before liberation, my ancestors generally went to work as fortune tellers to make a living, because they were extremely accurate, and their lives were smooth, and the Xijia family has continued to this day.

Our extraordinary instinct to avoid evil has kept our family alive no matter what the dynastic changes, but it has also perpetuated the curse we suffered to this day.

But it doesn't matter, the curse that doesn't have is the same as the none, and the side effects of the curse make us live well.

At least in modern times, even work is not so important, you can do what you want to do at will, and you can also develop your interests at will.

After all, there is such a thing as gambling and lotteries......

But my intuition seems to be too strong in my entire family history, almost foresight of the future, foresight of the future.

The effects and side effects of this are not mentioned, and the sudden appearance of a situation that has not changed for a long time in my generation seems to indicate something.

Ever since I was a child, I could hear a voice with a malicious attitude towards humanity often popping up in my head, and that voice often tried to confuse and influence me.

But after all, I'm better at tricking myself, no, self-hypnosis. Subconsciously perceiving the malice of the voice towards humans, I ignored the voice I knew was real, and forcibly thought that it was just an auditory hallucination, and the voice found that it could not affect me, so I fell into sleep most of the time to reduce some kind of consumption.

I was about 6 years old, and after that, the malicious voice never appeared again, and I completely forgot about it as an auditory hallucination.

People really have to learn to deceive themselves.

By the way, it was during that time that I was exposed to materialism, and exploring the endless unknown was much more interesting than a limited story game.

Manpower will always run out, things will always end, nothing can last forever, only change is eternal.

Change, probability, and the unknown are the truths of the world.

So I never cared about anything, and I didn't try to keep anything, because it was just a passing moment...... That's how I hypnotized myself.

Actually, it's just a weak self-preservation.

As long as you don't touch, don't care, and don't get emotionally invested in it, then you won't be hurt by those results that can't be changed.

I'm not the kind of person who is strong enough to bear pain and despair and still have hope for the future.

As long as I accept the reality, as long as I compromise with the reality, as long as I lie to myself that none of those things exist, then I can live easily and happily.

So I've always been a realistic ordinary person, and I've never pursued anything, I just want to live my ordinary life.

Even though my over-the-top instincts still cause me all kinds of distress and pain, at least I can live like a normal person.

Until I came to Corantia......

This fantasy world is so extraordinary and full of possibilities that it makes me and the thing inside me want to move.

Ha! Fantasy world! There is magic, magic, and fighting spirit, and there are many races and monsters everywhere, is there anything more interesting than this? The only drawback of this world is that there is no Gundam!

Here, even just an ordinary person can live a life that is unimaginable on earth. Even a farmer who farms the land can become a dragon slayer hero just for the sake of running around, although this possibility is still less than 1 in 100 million, it does not even exist on Earth.

The reality of me was a perfect match for the reality of Grantia, and I began to enjoy being a student of the wizarding world.

While the annoying instincts still make me unhappy, they're fun enough for me to enjoy.

I sincerely think it's fun to be an ordinary person in Golantia, but I didn't admit it because I was still self-hypnotizing, otherwise why would I have to wander around, why would I bring technology into the world, and why would I still not drop out of school and go home to farm.

Even though I still don't take the initiative to contact others, and I still take most things negatively, I may still have changed something.

Two days ago, instead of leaving Leach and Allen behind, I chose to stay and save them, which I would never have been able to do with my previous self.

But there are pros and cons to everything, and after that incident, the voice in my head became more active, and I wish it could be as quiet as before.

Also, because I accepted its power to save those two people, my body and abilities were further strengthened. It laid the foundation for it to occupy my body for a short period of time and use its power, and not be broken by its power......

However, it consumed too much the day before yesterday, and I can't use my body to fool around in the short term.

But maybe I should hurry up and find a ninth-order mage or priest to get it out of my body.

[You'd better not do that, just like you can threaten me with the same fate, I can blow myself up if I'm in a hurry.] And the difference between me and you is that if I blow myself up, I won't die, you will die. 】

I also have a headache in the face of another soul who can choose to self-destruct at any time in my body, but fortunately it is only its final choice.

"You've been dead for thousands of years, and you're not going to die again, okay. It's not fair, how can you know what I'm thinking?"

[There is no fairness in this world, and I just guessed what you think. 】

"I see, that means that if I make a layout other than your perception and intuition, I can completely kill you, right? 」

The disdainful laughter woke me up from my freshly awakened state.

"You have a talent for being an alarm clock, so wake me up regularly." 」

[Very good, I'll wake you up and talk to me when I'm bored.] 】

"If I don't sleep well, I'll be confused, and now I'm in a state where I'm almost alone enough to kill me, you can do it yourself. 」

There was a price to pay for using strength far beyond what my body could handle, and after that, my physical attributes, including strength, agility, and physique, dropped below 3, and now I can only lie motionless in bed.

However, this sequelae cannot be treated with divine magic. The healing of the magic is to get rid of the negative state and restore the body, and my current state can be said to be a buff - also known as overcompensation.

When I recover, my physical abilities will be greatly improved, and this is not a harmful change at all, so there is nothing that can be done about it.

So I could only lie motionless in bed for three months, let alone get out of bed, and even talking would feel painful.

Fortunately, you don't have to move your mouth to communicate with another soul.

"Are you awake?"

Instead of returning to the academy, Leach, who stayed to take care of me, pushed the door open and walked in.