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Vijay silently read two hundred in his mind, and his mind kept rummaging through the sporadic pleasant memories of the past, to combat the horror of this darkness that had cut off the senses.

It cannot be denied that darkness and fear are in many cases directly linked.

It's like this is the case now. Vijay himself couldn't tell whether it was the darkness that obscured the feeling that caused the fear, or whether the fear made him think it was the darkness that clouded the feeling.

Is there any difference?

Vijay laughed contemptuously in his heart, knowing that his thoughts were always strange. I didn't start with Lord Leon, I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

Isn't it weird, isn't it weird?

Always thinking about whether such a meaningless self is different from others?

Lord Leon has said that he is different, and it is precisely because he is different that he was chosen to stay by his side, so that he can see things that he can never see in the life of a poor orphan who has nothing to rely on.

It's so wonderful to be born in this world.

The world is really big and beautiful, yes, I was able to say such things after seeing this.

So, I don't want to be stuck in the same place, I want to move forward, I want to see things that I haven't seen before.

But fear, what I was afraid of when I was looking forward to the unknown, was like the darkness I was in at this moment.

Fear made me wonder when I began to look like an "ordinary person"? This means that I have lost my "difference", and if so, will I be abandoned by Lord Leone......

Huh...... Huh...... Do you want me to go back to the orphanage where I met him?

Just thinking about this possibility, the muscles of the whole body began to twitch.

Huh...... I almost forgot that the orphanage had been burned down...... Ahaha......

I can feel it, it's cold. The feeling came back, but only the touch of the body came back. That's not the point, I know it all.

Darkness can be terrifying, but it can also make me think quietly and remember.

I remembered the faint cry of that little figure that day, in front of the burning village.

I think back to the shock I felt that day, in the cold orphanage, when the adult first appeared in front of me.

I think back to those days, my laughter, the strength of my teeth when I was frustrated, the excitement I felt when I saw the thick books, the uneasiness when I first touched the real sword, and the bravery that I forgot about it after a few minutes.

I thought of many, the gloomy historian and the wordless book he regarded as a treasure, the enthusiastic and indifferent "barbarians" who lived in the Far North Mountains, the crazy "alchemist" and the master who even thought he was the most powerful man on the continent - until now I thought he was the most powerful man on the continent The little girl who fought with him without losing the wind, I remembered the psalm chanted by the bard who dared to stop thousands of soldiers alone in front of Lake Sikalesa, and the astonished look on the soldiers when the general, who did not look like a general at all, slashed the leaping lake in two with a single sword. Yes, I remember, I remember the proverb of the old man who lived alone in the mountains and lived by logging wood, I remember the piety on the face of the man who was dressed more extravagantly and exaggerated than Leon in front of the temple of Calambori, yes, I remember, I remember the silence of the politicians present with the words of the female lord when the great enemy was present, and I remember the graceful figure of the female assassin who fell with night in the alleys of the City of Flower Moon...... These are all my memories.

This is my memory, and it is also the "capital" that makes me think I am different now.

The fact is that these are almost all memories that have survived since my encounter with Lord Leon. In the three years I've traveled with adults, I've learned more than I can count, and I've experienced events far beyond my peers. Yes, in fact, I have always understood that my "difference" only comes from the fact that I was chosen by that adult.

Yes, I understand, that's why I want to stay with him.

I've traveled almost all of Southwell, something that the vast majority of people in this land would never have done in their lifetime, and many of them certainly never thought of doing it.

Yes, I was satisfied with this, thinking that the next step was just to live the life I wanted step by step and pursue my so-called ideals.

However, two things happened at this time.

The first is that Lord Leon has disappeared, and this incident made me suddenly realize that if the adult is not around, I am alone, and then I will not be able to do anything.

Second...... That's it, I met Loyer. Loyer's presence is so rare, I've never seen a flawless girl like this, no, maybe there's a ...... In that case, I've never seen a girl as immaculate as this and with so much power. Her presence made me reflect on myself even more, she was about the same age as me, like a mirror, but with a far brighter light than mine, yes, from Loyer, I saw the possibility of moving on to the other side of the mirror.

What kind of place is Bestead, and how many magnificent landscapes exist beyond this continent that I can even imagine?

Yes, right now, it's that intense curiosity that makes me "different".

I'm not lost anymore.

And, yes, whether it succeeds or not, I'm going to confess to Loyer!

Call...... So, what is this bit of darkness?

As I thought this, I felt the cold touch of the rock wall in my hand, and I felt its presence for the first time since I entered the darkness. Then, another thought prompted me to step into the "blank room" of my mind again.

"Lord Viscount!"

I yelled inside in disregard of etiquette and didn't respond.

Should I say I thought about it a long time ago, maybe it was because I knew this that I yelled so much. In fact, when I got in, I didn't hear anything from the time I counted to fifty-five.