In the city of C in southern China, a few wild cats gracefully rummage through the garbage bags waiting to be collected in the city in the evening when the evening light shines on a quiet road in the city. Suddenly, the wild cats stood up with their ears erect and bowed down to look into the distance, and with the sound of a powerful motor, a motorcycle of no brand suddenly sprang out from the other side of the road. Its body is attractively streamlined, with a black shell that still reflects most of the light in the dim light, and its material is obviously very strange, and the sides of the body are covered in crimson bands of paint that resemble lava. The rider's slender figure leaning over the body is very reverie, and the crimson almost black helmet obscures his face. When the motorcycle roared past, the wild cats scattered as if they were a beat late, and a sweet and jumping voice echoed in the air: Got it~ Principal Hart Biheville, if you don't call the English name Principal Wang, I will definitely catch Glacius (Glacier) to our school, anyway, this junior's name is Binghe~ I don't know how cold and handsome the guy is~

A few minutes later, in an apartment, the little security guard sitting opposite the elevator door on the first floor watched a slender figure enter the elevator. The glazed eyes and the saliva that began to accumulate on his lips clearly explained why he had forgotten his duty. In fact, when the girl with black eye shadow, a waist-length ponytail, a black close-fitting leather jacket, hot pants, black high-heeled sandals, a crimson motorcycle helmet in her hand, and a charming and sly smile on her face, asked herself in a soft and tactful voice if Hao Song lived in this unit, the young security guard, who had just entered the city from the countryside to work, just checked the household register of the unit in a panic and immediately gave a positive answer, completely forgetting about the security principle that outsiders need to be registered.

At this time, the visitee Hao Song is located in a two-bedroom apartment on the 6th floor, a young man of medium height and 178cm tall, with dead fish eyes that seems to have never woken up and a messy hair that seems to have been gnawed by dogs, is singing in the bathroom, "You play with vibrators~~I see no horses~" This egg-sore singing voice that is not in tune with almost half of the tone is the soundtrack of the classic domestic TV series "Journey to the West", but the original sentence seems to be "You carry the burden, I lead the horse" , in short, the egg-hurting tune and the lyrics that make people can't help but cover their faces make everyone who is lucky enough to hear it must sigh that life is bleak, the world is dark, and there are too many scum.

Naturally, for the girl who stood in front of the door of this apartment a minute later, hearing this voice must have caused great dissatisfaction and contempt for the owner of the song. This frustration culminated in the fact that I had pressed the doorbell many times, and the sound of the doorbell that had been used for too long and the battery was weak was completely covered by undisciplined singing.

So the girl took out a black card of unknown material from the leather jacket and slowly slid down from the narrow crack of the security door, paused slightly when passing the bolt position, and then swept smoothly, in her sinister laughter, accompanied by her pretended "open!", the security door opened a crack, and there was no other sound in the whole process except the girl's laughter and words. This is Hao Song, who has just taken a bath and is still intoxicated with his great creativity and ability to change words against the sky, just came out of the bathroom humming a song, and the corridor outside the bathroom is leading to the door, so Hao Song and the girl with a bad smile on her face saw each other as a matter of course, and what is even more speechless is that Hao Song, who is used to living alone, goes to take a bath and is ** after taking a bath

Hao Song, male, born on February 22, 1994, 18 years old, thinks he is an introverted and introverted person. To others, the person is like a dog that doesn't bite, in other words, like a barking dog. In his own words: I am good at planning and less decisive. And in the words of his sworn friend and friend: Hao Song coerces a goods, crooked ability to break the sky, move the world, and the execution ability is not as good as a koala: although koalas only climb a few meters of trees for a few hours, at least they are still climbing. And Hao Song's so-called plan should be as inevitable as 1+1=2 thinking, this product's plan is always just a plan, and the status quo that it always needs to be perfected can be understood. But the creativity and imagination of this thing are really good, and his own explanation is that if you spend half of your study time crookedly, then your creativity and imagination will inevitably be exercised to the world. So with only half of the study time of ordinary people, Hao Song's grades can only barely hover in the middle of the class, and such results are undoubtedly the denominator in the acceptance rate of the college entrance examination army for students who are about to face the college entrance examination in the second semester of their third year of high school. But his crooked ability is still very helpful to his language performance, at least when he writes essays, it is a flowing water, and the cow flies by without leaving a trace.

And such a remarkable ability is too simple to accomplish plans such as how to find a girlfriend quickly and successfully. What's really complicated is that he demands 100% success, so that the plan to be prepared will break through the sky, and no one can complete it alone except for crooked and capable guys. But high school is painful and long, in order to spice up life and entertain himself, Hao Song changed all kinds of classic or popular songs beyond recognition, and the song he sang in the bathroom today is just a small test of his skills for many years. Since his apartment is located at the end of the floor, and he is separated from his neighbor by a utility room where mops and brooms are placed, Hao Song's singing voice did not bother his neighbors before, except for a few friends in the same class, the girl can be said to be the first outsider to hear this fairy sound.

At this moment, Hao Song barely opened his eyes to the size of grapes, from the girl's soft black hair, to the sly eyes, to the cute and slightly wrinkled Qiong nose, coral-colored lips, smooth and traceless neck, and the delicate figure wrapped in leather clothes. Then when the girl was still surprised, she roared "", and then quickly covered her face and only showed the eyes between her fingers, and the two of them stared at each other blankly for a few seconds.

Hao Song had thousands of grass and mud horses running over in his heart: I didn't expect the No. 23 plan for bathing emergencies to come in handy, yes I have this plan, don't ask why. But how could such a cute girl enter her own house, where did she get the key, if she usually yelled at the girl at the door with the momentum of Bao Gong's promotion: "Who is standing at the door? What should be the crime of trespassing on the house?" and now his whole body **, is still humming lyrics that can be called ruining the three views, and the words of righteousness are completely unspeakable by the concubine! And the expression on this girl's face is actually a bad smile! It seems that the virgin body that he has worked hard to maintain for 18 years is going to be broken under this girl's hot pants today? I don't have a girlfriend yet!Will the other party be responsible for herself when it seems to be forced X?And look at this girl's dress, she won't still have candles and leather whips?

At the same time, Su Rui's heart was also extremely painful, oh, she didn't have that organ, according to women, it should be said that menstrual cramps. The guy in front of her who is thin, messy as grass, has a lewd face, has a full body **, and has no lower limit for singing seems to be the Grexiu S-Hao she is looking for, but what about the cold and handsome junior who said good? Such a decaying English name is Binghe, completely cucumber is not the keyhole, famous is not as good as meeting, seeing each other is not as good as nostalgia! I knew that I had carefully looked at the information before coming, but his Chinese name was really instigated and exquisite. So her expression froze completely, and the corners of her mouth twitched on her face with a wicked smile.

At this time, Hao Song, who thought that he had adjusted his mentality, had come back to his senses and asked tremblingly: "Can I not use props?"

Cold field for 5 seconds

Then Su Rui couldn't help but burst out laughing, and smashed the helmet in her hand towards a certain m, and her mouth was accompanied by laughter and a tactful scolding: "Dead rascal!"

Five minutes later, Hao Song put on his shirt, jeans, and sat on the bench and sofa in the living room. On the table in the living room, there are all kinds of instant noodle boxes that have been eaten and never eaten, as well as take-out belts and bread, and the whole living room is only a bench with a slightly shorter leg in addition to the sofa that has been torn. Hao Song had two band-aids on the left corner of his eye, and he regained his dead fish eyes and stared at Su Rui's deep pupils like autumn water under the black eyeshadow, his shirt was wrong from the second button, and the crotch of his dark blue jeans was full of suspicious white spots. Hao Song saw from Su Rui's pupils that the other party's gaze fell on his crotch, and thought to himself, is he really going to have a meat play, he hasn't seen enough just now?

And after Su Rui carefully observed the white spots on the crotch of Hao Song's jeans and concluded from one of the blue toothpastes that these should be toothpaste foam, her evaluation of the character of Grexiu Hao in front of her did not fall again. When he raised his eyes and saw Hao Song's obscene and sad eyes, the corners of his mouth twitched, and he immediately retracted his thoughts just now, and lowered the character evaluation in his heart from scum to the best scum. Both of them have something to say, but both remain at the stage of looking at each other because of the atmosphere of egg pain or menstrual cramps.

In the end, Su Rui's curiosity and faint gratitude for Hao Song's laughter just now made her speak first: "Grecius-s-Hao, or Hao Song (here she deliberately pronounced the third tone), Mr., when we meet for the first time, can I take the liberty of asking you a question?"

Hao Song listened to the polite and gentle voice, and said in his heart: This English name was given by his deceased father, and he has never used it, how does this chick know? ”

Su Rui endured the menstrual pain and smile in her heart, and asked weakly with a red face: "Why do you actually cover your face instead of covering other places when you see the opposite sex?"

Hao Song said secretly when he heard this tone, there is a play, look at this attitude, my brother can turn over and do s with a little toughness, and then waved his hand and pretended to be atmospheric, dragged the bench forward, and said: "I thought it was a problem, it turned out to be such a trivial matter, let me tell you, in this case, it is meaningless to cover the underneath, because the underside looks similar between the same sex, so of course you have to cover your face to prevent being recognized!"

Su Rui blushed and nodded as she listened, and said in her mouth: "Teachable, teachable." ”

Hao Song was very proud when he heard this: If the girl encounters this situation like me, it will really feast my eyes, and sure enough, my plan for ranking on the 23rd is thoughtful and impeccable, hey, hey, hey, hey

At this time, a sly flash flashed in Su Rui's eyes, and she asked in a simple and curious tone, "Didn't you say that there is a difference between the size and length of boys?"

Hao Song's face was stunned, and then he was suddenly startled, slipped off the bench, and cold sweat broke out.

Why didn't Nima think of this when he made the plan, this was a major mistake, and he suddenly felt that the momentum was empty. And this girl's acting skills are good, it seems that today is the rhythm of the actor after meeting the movie? In order to change the topic, he looked at the girl in front of him with a sad face, and said in a compassionate tone: "The people's hearts are not ancient, the world is cold, girl, I see that you are not yet 18 years old, how can you come into contact with such dirty thoughts, and you don't look like a sister paper that can be taken away by a strange uncle with a lollipop." ”

Su Rui felt that the was almost over, her face was straight, and she said: "Introduce yourself, I am Su Rui, you can also call me Mary (Mary)-Sue"

Hao Song's eyes jumped when he heard this, and he muttered in a low voice: "Mary Sue's English name is too tiger, isn't it?

Su Rui said suddenly, showing a gentle and charming smile, but there was a slight threat in her eyes: "What? Isn't the synonym for the perfect heroine in the novel suitable for me?"

Hao Song was shocked, this Mary Sue has good hearing, and her mouth is unambiguous: "Mary Sue is indeed synonymous with the perfect heroine, but you have to know that when it comes to the perfect heroine, it is not a compliment, right?

Su Rui snorted, pouted, waved her hand and said, "I don't care so much, it's enough to just take the meaning of perfection, why is it so difficult to talk to you about business, can you kid stop talking nonsense?"

Hao Song had a dog-legged face: "Hehe, you say, you say"

Su Rui was obviously not used to the change in Hao Song's face, and looked at him fixedly for a few seconds before continuing: "I am from Knight Worthch University, I am a freshman student, and I am also the vice president of the freshman student union, and the purpose of this is to conduct our school's independent enrollment, oh, if you think the school's transliterated name is too difficult to remember, you can also call it 'Night Watch University'!"

"The life of ordinary people is like a pool of stagnant water, and the life of the so-called superior person is nothing more than a bigger pool of stagnant water" - Grecius S. Hao