Of course, these things obviously don't need me to think about it now, thinking that Lao Zhang's attitude has no room for maneuver at all.

Made, do you know that you are buying and selling? No, you are not buying and selling, you are cruelly exploiting us proletariats, typical bureaucracy!

On this day, I had a very bad time, thinking about my fiancée in the underworld, and hating Lao Zhang.

But there are still good things, my realm is finally broken through to the mortal realm sixfold, unfortunately, such a breakthrough does not make me interested at all, Lao Tzu was at least a master of the divine realm sixfold when he was in the underworld, this mortal realm sixfold, in front of me, as long as I am happy, I can continue to fight, until the sky is old and the sea is dry.

But just as I opened my eyes, there was another person standing in front of me, an acquaintance - Sarah hey.

Made, can you not be so sudden every time, do you have a special fetish? like watching men sleep or something.

Sarah looked at me, and then just one word, it already made me sober up instantly, and I wanted to pee.

"Someone's coming. ”

Obviously, someone from the underworld is here, but I don't know who is coming, but this Xiaosa came to inform me, apparently because this person has something to do with me.

"Who?" my voice trembled slightly.

"The Ape King. ”

Why is this the thing? When I heard the name, the excitement in my head instantly cooled in half.

Not enough, anyway, this ape king is also my brother.

So, I went back to the office with Xiao Sa.

When I pushed the door open, I saw the two little legs sticking out of the bed, thick as a girl's willow waist, and at this time the legs were hanging helplessly, and the upper body of the ape king was lying on the bed, so we couldn't see it at this angle.

The Ape King apparently didn't hear us come back and open the door, for she was snoring profusely now.

We walked through the narrow aisle at the doorway, and then I saw the Ape King.

Alas, pity this child, who is more than two meters tall, but can only lie on a bed of one meter eight, that feeling...... It's like giving an adult a child's diaper, what should be exposed is exposed, and what should be leaked is not revealed, and what should not be leaked is leaked.

I slapped the ape king on the brain.

And then...... And then...... The king of the apes fell unconscious.

Riding a horse, I forgot that Lao Tzu is now a six-fold mortal realm, and I also forgot that the ape king, like me, is already an ordinary person after coming to the world. Now that I am in this palm, even if I don't have the power to open the stele and crack the stone, but I am so caught off guard by the head of an ordinary person like the Ape King, and with such power, the Ape King's coma is already a better result.

Luckily, as a doctor, I have a very strong professional quality. So, after I punched the ape king in the chest a few times, the ape king had already woken up in a flicker, looking at me with a confused expression.

"Boss, I just looked like I was hit by a car. ”

"Nope. "I replied very seriously.

The arrival of the Ape King has added a lot of ...... to my life Lots of ...... It should be said that it is variable.

First of all, the identity of the ape king has become a problem, because Ya is not a living person who has died. Therefore, the ID card, which is a common thing in the country, does not have the king of apes.

As a result, counterfeiting has become my first choice. There are many reasons, but the most important thing is the problem of the ape king himself, more than two meters, the same figure as Yao Ming, I said that he was eight years old, and no one would believe it.

So, I drove the car, took the king of apes, and began to wander around the streets, like a groundhog. And our goal is very clear, all the wall spray, there are the words to do, the word to record.

For a while, the Ape King and I swept through the entire city like a security brigade. Even I believe that even the security brigade may not have as much information as we have.

Of course, among this information, there are still many fakes.

After I made a phone call, I was introduced to the detailed process of applying for a certificate in a standard Henan accent on the other end of the phone. First, pay the money. All the documents are carefully distinguished by them, and the more important the documents, the higher the price. And the ID card was impressively photographed in the first place, and its price tag was 8,888.

Made, the numbers are still very auspicious.

In the end, after our continuous negotiations, after my weeping and righteous words, the price was finally set at eighty-eight.

Go to your uncle's, eighty-eight, go out of the cost, go out the courier fee, and then remove the labor, the rest may be less than fifty yuan, fifty yuan for an ID card, this kind of price, I don't dare to report it when I go to the grave.

After repeatedly experimenting with more than 100 phone numbers, I finally gave up, these people, except for deceiving people, have no other means at all, and the methods are extremely old.

As a last resort, I chose another option, hiding.

When to find out when to count.

So, three days later, the Ape King and I appeared together in my hometown, a small Qixian district, with no more than 100,000 households.

Of course, when I introduced the Ape King to my parents, my words were very simple and to the point.

"This is my friend, who used to play sports. ”

My dad and my mom instantly believed it, after all, the figure of the king of apes, if he didn't go to sports, there might not be any way out.

And the next thing is the most troublesome thing for me, I need to teach the ape king to live in the real world.

On the first day, the wind and waves were calm, and the ape king kept observing, asking all kinds of things like a baby.

The next day, it was definitely the day I regretted the most. Because on this day, I took my parents and the king of apes, a group of four, and we found a barbecue restaurant to skewer up.

Since it's a skewer, it's natural to drink some wine.

So after the king of the apes and my father had two glasses of white wine, the two of them had already climbed up to relatives, and during this time, the two of them were arguing with their red necks about who was the ancestor.

Of course, on this issue, my dad is absolutely at a disadvantage, you are an ordinary person in modern society, you play history with a monkey from the underworld, the caretaker Wangxiangtai, and I don't know the specific age, then the result is already conceivable.

So, now, my father put his arm around the ape king's shoulders and shouted big brother the ape king.

And these are not the most disgusting things, the most disgusting thing is that the ape king will not be able to drink the world tomorrow, and when he drank the fourth cup, because a guest accidentally touched my mother, the ape king slapped the table and stood up, pointed at the other party's nose and said fiercely: You guy, dare to touch Lao Tzu's younger brothers and sisters, you can't stay today.

Everyone is a drinker, as the saying goes, wine is bold. So, the man who was pointed at his nose and was only about 1.7 meters tall stopped doing it, and after arguing for a few words, he jumped up, kicked his heart and kicked the ape king's chest fiercely.

I covered my face. Made, are you stupid? A person who is more than two meters tall and weighs at least 300 pounds, if you can kick his fat through with a heartwarming kick, I will obey you, not to mention, the person you kicked is still the king of apes, an absolutely irritable and absolutely tough ordinary person. After all, he was the first person to come to me through the teleportation array in the underworld, so the strength of his body was naturally visible.

Things are indeed developing according to this rhythm, the man kicked his hearty foot, and then he was smoothly pulled by the ape king's ankle, and the next moment, the man's body has begun to vacate, and then smashed on the table in front of us with a snap, and even more unfortunately, my mother wore a cotton jacket that she had just bought back today, and she couldn't put it down, and then the soup and water on the table splashed my mother's body.

And because the Ape King is also from our side anyway, all my mother's anger is vented on the man who used a heartwarming kick.

"Ape King, kill your aunt. Riding a horse, the clothes your aunt just bought today were made like this by them, beat him, don't let him run, let him lie down. ”

I have to say that because of the fight, my mother was very emotional, but my mother's thinking logic is still very clear, and I can feel it from her words.

First of all, he needed the Ape King to beat the man hard, because she couldn't swallow the bad breath. Secondly, she asked the king of the ape very clearly, she must knock this man down and not let him run away, and her purpose is self-evident, and losing money must be indispensable.

The reason why this day is the day I regret the most is because of the rest of the story.

Those four people, skinny as wood, and the non-mainstream hairstyle, at a glance, knew that they were some young people who lacked social beatings, and one of them was still wearing a school uniform.

Such a man and the king of apes screamed, and the result was almost able to be thought of with his heels.

In less than a minute, the heart-warming man had been put to the ground, foaming at the mouth and convulsing all over, and he didn't know where he was injured. But I can see it clearly, the king of the apes gave people a solid liver punch, and when that punch went down, the man didn't even dare to react in pain, and just lay on the ground, curled up like a shrimp, and began to bubble in his mouth while twitching all over his body.

However, I have to say that the men of this period are still very righteous, seeing their companions being knocked down by someone else's punch, the remaining three young people, with a roar, grabbed the wine bottle on the table, and then knocked, the wine bottle shattered, and then the three grabbed the bottom of the sharp wine bottle and stabbed it at the ape king.

I was meant to help. These children, in my eyes, are not even as good as a cow in the prime of life, at least the strength of those cows is still good.

But after I saw the eyes of the ape king, I had already chosen to give up in an instant, and looked at the three people opposite with red eyes, and my eyes were full of excitement.

As a last resort, I could only stand in the distance and remind in a loud voice, "Don't kill people." ”

And this sentence was misunderstood by my mother, she thought that these people would pose a threat to the king of apes, so my mother shook the satchel in her hand and rushed up, I couldn't pull it.

And seeing my mother's actions, how could the ape king, who is my brother, not go crazy.

So, two minutes later, the three of them fell neatly beside the heart-warming man, humming incessantly. Looking at the posture of the three of them, even if they don't die directly, it's very normal to lie in bed for a month or two and not get out.

At this time, the police officers from our local police station had already arrived at the scene.

So, I was taken back to the police station with the Ape King and the four men who had fallen to the ground and were humming.

Until things are clear, this confinement is naturally going to be closed. And the saddest thing is that there is only one confinement room in the police station, so, unfortunately, the ape king and I are locked up in the same confinement room as the other four.

Then, the four of them never woke up again. As for the simple reason, the humming of their waking time was so noisy that the king of apes and I couldn't sleep at all. So after I carefully "scouted" the confinement chamber to make sure that there were no cameras, every time the four of them woke up, the ape king would let his dangling calves flick over.

We are the righteous party, but we have never been able to escape the normal legal process, so when the Ape King entered his identity, the Ape King and I were completely dumbfounded.

Anything else is fine, but the identity of the Ape King must never be revealed.

Fortunately, after my identity was checked, the officers from the police station suddenly answered a phone call at the stall where they were looking at each other, and after the call ended, the king of apes and I had been released.

So far, the masturbation and fighting incident has come to a successful end. We are the winning side, the four of them were criminally detained for fifteen days, and in the end, they could only compensate for my mother's padded jacket according to the price, and the final compensation amount was 4,000 yuan.

To tell the truth, the 4,000 yuan can already buy four pieces of my mother's padded jacket, but unfortunately, the people at the police station and the families of those perpetrators can only read the bills, and the bills on my mother's padded jackets are 4,000 yuan.

Of course, there is a premise for all this, obviously, the parents of the four families are not easy to deal with, and everyone looks at us with a flowing look, but after the ape king directly crushed a water cup with his bare hands, the four family members signed very happily, and said that they would bear all the consequences and confess the mistakes made by their children.

We were victorious, but as soon as I got home, I got a phone call.

When I just picked it up and didn't speak, a roar sounded on the other side of the phone, it was Lao Zhang's voice.

"Little rabbit cub, you just got home and made trouble for Lao Tzu, what the hell are you doing? Lao Tzu was scolded. ”

Lao Zhang's voice was indeed angry, but I heard other things in this angry voice. The focus is obviously on the link where I was scolded, not the part where I caused trouble.

"How do you know I'm home?" I asked, confused. But after I just finished speaking, I was already sober in an instant, and it was obvious that the people from the police station had found all my information, so they called my unit, and in view of the uncontrollable nature of this kind of thing, the people in the unit naturally reported this matter to Lao Zhang's ears quickly and completely.

Things are indeed the same as I guessed, Lao Zhang in the next period of time, in addition to popularizing the dangers of fighting to me, he also carried out a very infiltrated education for me, from national construction to the improvement of the quality of citizens in every household, and then from the improvement of the quality of every household to the development of the country. That means, it seems that because I fought this fight, the country's development lagged behind for several years.

Therefore, my mother answered the phone, and the first sentence had already made Lao Zhang completely extinguish.

"Who are you? My son is brave in the face of righteousness, and you still dare to discipline my son, are you leading like this? Are you inactive? Is it formalism? Is it dogmatism? Is it bureaucracy?"

My mother seems to know these words, and she threw them all on Lao Zhang's head.

There was silence on the other end of the phone instantly, and a moment later, under my mother's constant scolding, Lao Zhang's voice rang weakly.

"Excuse me, who are you?"

"Why should I tell you who I am? You haven't answered my question yet. ”

"I'm an arbitrary leader, Lao Zhang, who are you?"

"I'm random. ”

Then the phone was silent again.

A moment later, the voice on the phone rang again.

"Sister-in-law, I don't know it's you, I'm sorry, I'm abrupt. ”

"You know, now you can tell me what my son did wrong. ”

I gave my mom a thumbs up, Mom, you cow, from now on, you are my role model. If nothing else, it's the one that angrily scolds the prison warden, so I bow down and worship.

The other side of the phone seemed to be organizing the language, and after a few moments, the voice rang again.

"We are glad to have such a colleague and honored to have such a colleague, and we are honoured to have any courage in the face of justice, and of course, on behalf of our prison, I would like to pay a verbal tribute to Arbitrary. ”

I can imagine that Lao Zhang's face must be very "approachable".

However, my mom would never be so approachable, for the simple reason that someone had messed with her son.

"You mean that the upper lip touches the lower lip, and then the matter is over, right?

"No, no. ”

"Then you should be more righteous. ”

"Yes, yes, yes, I didn't think it through. ”