Back at home, Sun Xiaoqing came to Ben Ben's room, pulled out a suitcase under his bed, opened it and looked at it, there were only a few clothes and some cash in it, as well as a bank card that could only allow the two of them to live for three years, and some tranquilizers. Sun Xiaoqing pulled Ben Ben over, took out a piece of clothing for him to change into, and then tidied himself up again.

The pain was all over her body, but she didn't take the bottle of pills in front of her. She closed her eyes and felt the intense palpitations caused by the sudden onset of leukemia, pain can bring people closer to heaven, but heartache can make people fall into the mortal world, between heaven and mortal world, purgatory.

Sun Xiaoqing took a deep breath, opened his eyes, looked at the scene in front of him, let himself slowly calm down, and let the pain in his heart slowly disappear. Then she smiled and said, "That's good." ”

Carrying luggage, taking Benben, go downstairs, turn left, leave the community, and get into a taxi. This series of processes took less than five minutes, looking at the scene of the car window slowly receding, Sun Xiaoqing snuggled up to the car window, holding Benben in his arms, his expression was a little gloomy.

"Mom, where are we going?" Ben Ben looked at Shanghai with wide eyes and asked Sun Xiaoqing.

Sun Xiaoqing was stunned and didn't hear Ben Ben's words. She saw from a distance that there was a shop on the street to buy lotus seed porridge, and a gentle smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, she clearly remembered that she was once hospitalized because of anemia, and in order to torture me, she asked me to buy lotus seed porridge for her, changing more than 20 flavors, and blackening my face. At that time, there was no Benben, there was no affection between the two of us, the two of us lived together, and she never gave me a good look.

An English song is playing in the car: "TakeMeToYourHeart", a very pleasant song, which you may not be familiar with when you speak English. But if this song is the English version of Jacky Cheung's "Kiss Goodbye", everyone may be more familiar with it. The English version of the kiss goodbye sung by the Danish 4-member boy group has less grievance and more affection, but Sun Xiaoqing couldn't help crying anymore.

She curled up in the cab, whimpering silently.

Tears rolled down her smooth cheeks and onto her chin, wetting the placket of her chest. Sun Xiaoqing couldn't hold back anymore and cried loudly. The taxi driver looked at Sun Xiaoqing and wanted to say comfort, but finally withdrew his mouth. Ben Ben looked at her mother who was crying suddenly, and was scared silly. He hugged Sun Xiaoqing and said silently: "Mom, what are you crying for?" ”

What are you crying for? Sun Xiaoqing himself didn't know what to do. The feelings in my heart exploded irrepressibly, which was different from what I imagined. Crying, crying from the moment I got in the taxi. She was still crying when she got to the airport and was about to get out of the taxi. She's just a woman who wants to stay by my side for the rest of her life, but the damn disease is tormenting her step by step. She had two choices, give me half of the pain, or bear it alone.

Tell me she's sick? Tell me she might die someday in the future? Is it possible? May I? Will she? Sun Xiaoqing didn't have the courage to tell me that she was a conceited woman, so conceited that she never thought about herself in the slightest, and she could share everything about herself with me, except for the damn sickness. So, she wants to go, she has to bear it alone, she wants to leave me, even if she is like a duckweed in the blue sea, she still has to drift.

"Mom, don't cry. Ben Ben is the fighter next to you, whoever bullies you, Ben Ben will beat him. The little guy pulled Sun Xiaoqing down, hugged his mother's head, wiped away the tears on his mother's face, and said with a serious face. Maybe it's the mother-son connection, or maybe Ben Ben also discovered something, but the little guy at this time has less fun and more responsibilities that don't belong to him at this age.

Sun Xiaoqing swallowed, hugged Ben Ben in his arms, wiped the corners of his eyes, and said, "Mom doesn't cry." ”

This cry was just an outburst before leaving, and it couldn't stop Sun Xiaoqing from leaving. The car arrived at Pudong Airport, got off, walked into the airport, got the boarding pass, waited, passed the security check, prepared to board, after everything was busy, it was already eleven o'clock at night, Sun Xiaoqing pulled Ben Ben to sit in the waiting room, and asked Ben Ben if he needed anything else. Ben Ben was already sleepy, and was noisy to sleep.

A child is a child after all, he can't know what Lu Dao is about to face, maybe he occasionally shows the responsibility of an adult, but he is an ignorant child after all. Sun Xiaoqing was afraid that Benben would fall asleep and it would be difficult to get on the plane at that time, so he sang to Benben.

Twinkle and twinkle, the sky is full of small stars, hanging in the sky to shine......

The plane was a little bit, and Ben Ben eventually fell asleep. When she was about to board the plane, Sun Xiaoqing looked at the clock in the waiting hall, and for some reason, she was very anxious, as if there were thousands of jobs that had not been done, and as if there were many things that had not been explained. She hugged Benben, pulled the suitcase, and walked to the airport shuttle bus, Benben was too heavy, Sun Xiaoqing couldn't bear to wake him up, so she had to carry him, pull the luggage, and after getting on the bus, she held Benben in her arms, looking at the plane parked on the tarmac in the distance, and her heart was even more flustered.

Her eyes were closed, her cheeks were covered with fine sweat, her breathing was vaguely rapid, and her heart was beating faster. I don't know when I left and came back, maybe a year? Ten years, perhaps? Maybe for a lifetime? Am I really not sad when she's gone? Can I face the current crisis? What will happen to me in the future? These questions all appeared in Sun Xiaoqing's mind, and when she reached the bottom, she laughed again.

She said to herself in her heart, isn't she just a ruthless woman? Even his son has to be taken away, so why worry about this? What does it have to do with himself whether he lives or dies? If you don't leave, do you want to stay and let him wait for death? Only by leaving can he give it a go, be reborn in Nirvana, and realize his dreams. I'm just a who drags him back.

Sun Xiaoqing's smile revealed a bit of morbidity, very poignant, and very heart-wrenching.

She sat next to Ben Ben, took out her mobile phone in Shanghai, opened the address book after the last day, looked at my name, buckled the phone battery, put it in her pocket, closed her eyes, and waited for the future......

Suddenly, as if she had thought of something, she took out her mobile phone, put the battery on, and typed quickly, at this time the plane was taxiing to the runway, the stewardess was prompting to turn off the mobile phone, Sun Xiaoqing flew with five fingers, the stewardess came to obstruct it, Sun Xiaoqing glared at her and said, "I will turn it off." ”

The plane was about to take off, Sun Xiaoqing's heartbeat was accelerating, and his fingers were faster. The surrounding passengers also spoke out to ask Sun Xiaoqing to turn off his mobile phone, otherwise it would not be safe.

"Shut the fuck." Sun Xiaoqing burst into a foul language, which woke up Ben Ben, the little guy cried, and the passengers were also frightened by her.

Sun Xiaoqing is still writing text messages.

Finally, when the plane was about to taxi, Sun Xiaoqing sent a text message, then directly buckled the battery, threw the mobile phone in the cabin, and said to these passengers and flight attendants: "Satisfied." ”

A minute later, a powerful push back sensation hit, the plane roared and flew into the air, Sun Xiaoqing sat on the plane, looking at the dreamlike Shanghai outside the porthole, stunned. The little guy also woke up, lying on his mother's lap and looking at Shanghai under the night sky, his big eyes were full of curiosity, he rubbed his eyes, and said in disbelief: "It's so beautiful." ”

"It's purgatory." Sun Xiaoqing said to Ben Ben.

Ben Ben looked at his mother ignorantly and said, "What about our home?" ”

Family? Sun Xiaoqing muttered and hugged Ben Ben. A bad omen suddenly rose in my heart, which was the symptom of another attack of leukemia......