Chapter 7 The scattered lenses are memories

The girl without makeup began to urge Li Daming, hoping that Li Daming could complete the script quickly, but Li Daming didn't care about it, and always refused the request of the girl without makeup for various reasons, which gradually became a habit, and the girl without makeup had nothing to do about it!

Li Daming walked into a local hospital in Seattle, the psychiatric department is overcrowded, it seems that in a capitalist country, there are indeed not a few people with mental problems! Li Daming saw a white woman sitting next to him, her face was very pale, she was wearing a white shirt with a simple pattern, jeans that had been washed white, and yellowed canvas shoes, she looked like a worthless drug addict, Li Daming wanted to chat with her, but his English was already very average, so he felt that there was no need!

After a while, the pale-faced girl entered the psychiatrist's office, and about 20 minutes later, the girl came out and took off her shirt in front of Li Daming, and her whole body was covered with wounds, as if she had been severely beaten! Li Daming looked at her background, and there were many painful and helpless emotions in his heart, he really wanted to catch up and comfort this girl who was very hurt on the outside and inside, and wanted to ask: What happened to her? However, Li Daming did not move a step from where he was, not a single step!

"You are a typical paranoia, and your paranoia is too serious, so you always feel that your fantasy is the existence of real things, and in the eyes of normal people, your fantasy must be regarded as a false phenomenon, in this way, it will cause others not to understand you, and if you are not understood by others for a long time, it will definitely cause you to be very depressed, and eventually, you will have world-weary thoughts, so you are now very dangerous, I advise you to be hospitalized quickly, otherwise, you will really be very dangerous!" Seeing Li Daming's eastern face, this blonde and blue-eyed American psychiatrist specially told Li Daming about his current bad situation in fluent Chinese.

"How can this be? Doctor, I'm in my twenties, and I'm about to turn thirty, and for so many years, people around me have been saying that I'm normal! Indeed, some fantastical phenomena have happened around me, but not all of them are fake! Some things have really been seen with my own eyes! Is it true that my family has been lying to me all along? Impossible! I ?????? it." Li Daming was suddenly interrupted by the doctor!"Okay, you don't need to say more, this is related to your profession, after reading your introduction, you are a writer, so it is not strange that there are some fantasies in your family and some other people around you, because of this, your illness has been delayed like this, you know?" The doctor's words caught Li Daming off guard, and he didn't know how to respond to the doctor, and he didn't know how to live his life next!

Li Daming was prescribed some psychiatric drugs, but he knew that these drugs were ineffective for a person like him who was obsessed with fantasy, and he was still addicted to the fantasy world in his heart, and he couldn't extricate himself for a long time!

Back in the hotel, Li Daming recalled his business years, in fact, he once loved Peking Opera, and also set up a for-profit Peking Opera group for this purpose, and he also wrote a lot of Peking Opera scripts, but unfortunately, later, because of poor management, this Peking Opera group was quickly disbanded, Li Daming was depressed for a long time, he felt that he was a very failed as a Peking Opera script creator, and he also felt that he was a very failed businessman, so he rarely mentioned his experience as a businessman to the people he met later, which also laid the groundwork for his later crazy writingHe only wanted to relieve his inner sorrow by writing, because, at that moment when his heart was broken, he could not do anything, and he did not want to do anything!

Li Daming hasn't been in contact with his parents for a long time, he just mailed his parents some money earned through his own writing, in order to prove that he is doing very well, and his parents slowly believe it!

He deceived his parents, and of course, he also deceived the actors who had always cared about him and were regarded as confidantes by him!

He had been a businessman: of course, in his heart, he must have been a very failed businessman!

He looked down and saw the manuscript of the three-point handwriting scattered on the table:

It won't move

It won't understand

It won't hurt

Missing is a disease

It saw the wind blowing

It heard a boom

Why doesn't it tell us, it doesn't ask if it understands or not?

I pretended not to see it leave the surface of the earth

It wrongs its emptiness

I won't come if I pass by it

The soul is sometimes useful

The sun on the street occasionally blinds the eyes

The charm of appreciation is actually a kind of pain

Laugh at my handwriting

Look at you like porcelain

Look at you and live without a purpose

Look at my life without stress

I'm going to conceive of a chance encounter

Let the bull meet you in the china shop

You'll feel like I'm giving you a message

I always feel like you're so tied up that it's okay

I fought for the present and not talked about the past for the sake of the future

I'm sorry I wasn't as careful as you for the sake of the dream

If it was just a bull in a china shop, I'd let it go

It's not much time

It's actually nothing unique, occasionally in a daze, sometimes angry, eating a lot of wine, probably won't drink!

What it cares about, in fact, we all care

It's missed every day under the same roof as us

It won't come, it won't come back, it has no future

You should always make way for the bull in the china shop!

This is the emotion that Li Daming had when he saw the "bound" bull in the porcelain shop in Seattle's Chinatown, and after returning to the hotel, Li Daming turned this emotion into inspiration, and then wrote the poem above!

Li Daming looked at this poem and finally felt that he was like the bull who was already angry in the porcelain shop but did not dare to touch the porcelain, he was spinning in his fantasy world, sometimes painful, sometimes distressed, but he didn't know how to get out of this adversity that could not go straight down!

Li Daming saw the second manuscript again:

The memories written in the diary instantly evaporated on the street sprinkled with the setting sun, the dull bluestone street was filled with layers of trivial blood, the sound of the locomotive on the street neighed from the rotten and broken whistle, people seemed to be attached to each other and addicted to each other on the street, but it was difficult to close the distance between each other's hearts!

Regretful!

Youth gradually sinks in the process of decadence

The sand of the years was washed by the sea that had drowned the shells of countless creatures to the shore of the sky

Countless intimate secrets about the grave of youth are shining on the top of the thunder at this moment!

Silent!

The old man on the street is still holding the erhu, playing cheap but stinging music that stings my soul, I thought that everything would become pure, natural, innocent, and innocent, but the cold and black humor I possessed seemed to be that residual smoke, and gradually the years of returning to the soul turned into the pain and pleasure of carving the knife walking on the flesh, and then there were one diary after another.

Before I write, after I hurt......

Looking forward to it, the most beautiful face appeared in the bloodshot eyes,

When I was writing about her,

Tears gradually drowned and relieved in the sea of people who were warm and cold,

After reincarnation, the green of the leaves gradually returns to the soul,

Tears and dew gradually mixed together,

I can't tell who is right and who's wrong,

Because, such pain and suffering have long been deeply engraved in the hearts of countless people!

......

This is the inspiration generated by Li Daming when he wandered the streets of Seattle, and this is the continuation of the most painful helplessness in Li Daming's heart, and it is the most unspeakable torture of Li Daming! It is the most broken lens in Li Daming's heart!

It's also the most painful memory!

The third manuscript is a continuation of the Peking Opera script:

The war began, and in this bloody battle, the general's daughter appeared, and she fell in love at first sight with the young general of the king of Middle-earth, and on that night the battle ended, the general's daughter sang these words:

The battlefield was empty

Epilogue: Ink color

Who whispers like water has passed

film, just gentle and silent

It seems that the storyteller's mouth is black and white

The sycamore became the brightest in the drizzle, and the flowers fell

Gentleness gets rid of the brokenness

It seems to have a superfluous passerby

A little bit of ink intertwines the white crane

In an instant, the green and yellow scrolls dotted the ancient Buddha

I feel like I've been back here before

There is loneliness between gentleness

When you are lonely, the clouds float overhead

In the confusion, the clouds have passed

It's just that in an instant, the mountains and rivers swelled into a city, and the former residence was submerged in late autumn

And I just feel that the wind fades the color

There are no superfluous words, just lamenting that I fell in love at first sight

Half-dreaming clouds fell over my head

Just like she didn't know me anymore when she was drunk

There is a lot of traffic over there

And the King of Middle-earth, who fought bravely on the battlefield, sang these words among the corpses and ruins left behind after the war:

When she saw me, why did I dodge?

Quietly, silently, a lot quieter

In a trance, the blue mud stone slabs have been staggered

In silence, eyebrows flew

Gave up playing songs

It's hard to catch when you say it

I have been tired, I have been sad

I was tired of crying and speechless

It was bitter in the smoke and rain, and it was difficult to figure it out

It's better to just cry and laugh

There is no talk of laughter at the worst noise

What is the color of the pan-domain clouds in the diffuse circle

The song of youth is green

Teary-eyed hazy who has been pleased by whom

Who remembers my sadness

Seeing this script, Li Daming also understood that he was in the "Western Fantasy World" and still missed the memories scattered all over the "Oriental Fantasy World", where he had been in an infinitely depressed life, as if he had been shattered by the real world that had bound him!

But, no matter what, life, go on!

To be continued!

Chapter 8: The Romance of Confusion

Stay tuned!

······

This article is from Reading Book King Novels