Not good?

When I heard these three words, I seemed to understand something in my heart, Huang Tianba had already said: "I heard that the war in the north is tight, and the line from Yunzhong to Fengling is about to be lost. ”

"What?!" I was taken aback: "How can it be so fast?" ”

I have always said that the war in the north is very tight, but no matter what, I never thought that it would really be fought so hard, in just one or two months, the front line from Yunzhong to Fengling is about to be lost!

Huang Tianba said in a deep voice: "He must go back now, otherwise-"

Otherwise, the North might be-

My heart was beating fast and messy.

He should have expected this day early on because of the peace talks with the southern forces and the control of Shengjing, but he didn't expect that because of Nangong Lizhu's scheme, Yiqiē would go to a dead end so quickly, and he could only make such a choice.

Only war, that's it!

My fingers trembled a little and I couldn't even hold the bowl steadily, I looked up and saw Huang Tianba looking at me worriedly, I reluctantly made a smile, I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say, in order to hide my panic, I stretched out my chopsticks and grabbed a piece of braised bamboo shoots in oil and sent it to my mouth.

This time, the fresh fragrance of the bamboo shoots suddenly disappeared, and an unspeakable nausea suddenly came up, and I hurriedly covered my mouth and retched.

"Young Baby?"

Huang Tianba looked at me in amazement: "What's wrong with you?" ”

"No—"

Before I could finish my sentence, I retched twice, and my mouth was sour, and it was so uncomfortable that I bent over and it took me a while to calm down.

Mu Hua glared at me and suddenly said, "You, pregnant?" ”

“……”

I looked up at them a little embarrassed, was silent for a moment, but nodded.

Suddenly, her face became a little strange.

Huang Tianba immediately frowned and said to me, "Qingying, you—why didn't you tell me earlier?" ”

I smiled apologetically.

Along the way, I really didn't tell him, not because I didn't want to say it, not because I didn't want to say it, but because I didn't know how to say it. I left that man, paid the price of almost my life, but I never got rid of the traces of his imprint in my heart, life, and now, I am pregnant with his child, such an ending, even I am a little overwhelmed, what should I say?

Maybe it's because now that the person has settled down, and he has returned to Beijing, the body's reaction is greater, the meal is not finished in the end, and I can't eat it anymore, I was helped back to my room, and soon someone sent the medicinal food and diet for the fetus, and some taboo things in the house were also removed.

But the feeling of nausea still echoed in my chest.

I lowered my head, looking at my lower abdomen a little weakly, the pain of these days, I really wronged this child, when I reached out to touch it gently, I could even feel him tremble slightly.

How did you feel when you knew he was gone?

Isn't it, feeling a little overwhelmed?

Slowly, I trembled as if it wasn't my child, but my fingers, which seemed to be so cold that I could only hold them tightly to let myself know that I was still conscious.

He's gone.

Really, gone.

I've been hiding for so long, I've been afraid for so long, and what I'm looking forward to is this day, and this day has arrived early, and I am facing a qiē in front of me, but I am caught off guard.

This walk, is it possible that the one qiē before me and him, all the qiē, can finally be completely over?

He didn't even know he had such a child.

Thinking of this, I lowered my head and looked at my belly again, it has been more than three months, in fact, my lower abdomen is also slightly bulging, just because I am too thin, so it is not obvious, and this child, just like this, survives carefully, and seems to be afraid that any change will make him disappear forever.

"He's gone......"

When I spoke, my voice was so dry that I felt like I was crying, but I was clearly calm, but I felt a little empty in my chest.

Maybe I'm going to start getting used to it.

He's gone......

"I've got you, though."

I have never been a cruel person, and I don't want anyone to taste the pain of separation, but after all these years of going through so much, and the child I once lost, I am suing me, such a choice may not be a good thing.

I don't want to watch my children step on that road, let alone become a puppet of power under the power struggle, no happiness, and even the soul is not free.

The two major cages of life, either trapped by love, or enslaved by things, I have been trapped in the former all my life, and he has been tired of the latter all his life, even if he enjoys all the glory and wealth, standing at the peak of power, he has never been truly happy, I just hope that this child will not follow in our footsteps.

"We'll live well."

The medicine for the fetus was slightly bitter, but it also had a calming effect, and I leaned on the head of the bed and fell asleep unconsciously.

When I woke up, it was getting late.

The servant brought the food and the soup directly to my room, and politely, I used some of them briefly, and when they cleaned up, night fell.

I rested for a while, but it was still a little stuffy to sit in the room, so I simply went out to breathe.

The garden was still quiet, the sound of the murmuring of the water was particularly pleasant in the night, and the moonlight turned into a sparkling wave on the clear spring, shining in front of the eyes, and the candles on the stone corridor complemented each other, but also added a quiet atmosphere to this quiet house.

I was in the middle of the night, when suddenly there was a commotion on the other side.

It's -- over there.

I frowned and subconsciously walked over to that direction.

The candles were still flickering in the room, and I could see the figures of two people reflected on the bed, and as soon as I approached, I heard Mu Hua's crying voice say, "You explain it to me clearly." ”

"What the hell do you want me to say?"

"Say! Say—" She whimpered for a long time, and then said, "Is that child yours after all!" ”

"What did you say?"

"The baby in her belly is not yours!" Mu Hua's voice seemed to be crazy, with a little roar of rupture, and said loudly: "If it's not yours, why do you care so much about her?" Why did you bring her back? Every time you go out, it's a few months, and you're going to have a private meeting with her, right? She didn't follow the emperor anymore, so she followed you, didn't she? ”

Hearing her words, my brain exploded all at once.

What did she say?

Could she have doubted—

It wasn't just me, the atmosphere in the retreat froze suddenly, as if even the candle flame was pressed by something heavy, and there was no longer even a flicker, and I seemed to feel Huang Tianba's almost suffocating torment.

After a long time, he spoke, and his voice was no longer as low as usual, but with a bone-chilling coldness.

"Xue Muhua, what kind of person is I, Huang Tianba, in your eyes?"

My heart trembled.

This is the first time I have heard him call his wife's name even by name and surname, and that kind of cold, almost like a person's blood is about to coagulate, it is penetrating to the bones, penetrating the heart, and even the soul cannot feel a trace of warm cold.

"What kind of person am I?"

"......" Mu Hua didn't say a word, just kept crying.

"You say!"

I looked at the figure in the window, trembling like a leaf in the wind, and I could almost imagine the desperate light in those amorous eyes.

"I, Huang Tianba, in your eyes, turned out to be such a person?"

“……”

"I'm merciful everywhere, I'm lustful and greedy, I don't refuse men and women, I'm hypocritical to you Xue Muhua, right?"

“……”

"If I were such a person in your eyes—" His voice paused suddenly, but it was not speechless, but it was choked up all of a sudden, with a hint of despair trembling, stalemate for a long time, and finally slowly said: "Then there is no point for our husband and wife to do it anymore." ”

As soon as these words came out, the other person in the room suddenly seemed to freeze.

I froze, too.

The next moment, there was a sudden crackling explosion in the room, and Mu Hua seemed to sweep all the things on the table to the ground at once, and then picked up the things around him and threw them desperately, and the whole room was so chaotic that he wanted to think of an irrational desolate world.

However, it was as if all the others in the house had disappeared, and none of them came out.

As I stood in the night, watching this scene, I suddenly felt an indescribable sourness.

I don't know how long I fell, how long I cried, Mu Hua finally stopped, she panted and said to Huang Tianba: "Okay, you finally tell the truth!" ”

……

"You just want to get rid of me, and now that she's here and pregnant with your child, of course you want to abandon me, right?"

……

"Huang Tianba, how much have I paid for you? When the sect embarrassed you, who protected you? Ask your own conscience, are you worthy of me? ”

……

"Say, are you worthy of me?"

The room was quiet, no one cried anymore, no one made any more noise, but this silence seemed to be suffocating, and a kind of exhaustion from the heart to the body slowly came out.

After a while, the door was pulled open from the inside, and Huang Tianba walked out stiffly with his back to the warm light behind him.

When I looked up, I saw me.

The moonlight shone like ice, shining on that handsome and incomparable face, but there seemed to be a streamer slipping from his eyes, but in an instant, it condensed into ice, but my tears rolled down like beads with broken threads, and I was so hot that I was shivering all the time.

I don't know why I'm crying, but watching him come out helplessly like this, the tears can't stop falling.

Why?

Why is this happening?

He looked blankly, didn't say a word, just slowly closed his eyes, and when the cold moonlight completely froze the streamer on his face, he walked past me with his head down, and walked straight towards the door.