With that heavy ingot of silver in my arms, I felt that my steps were a little easier, and I didn't seem to be so uncomfortable. After a while, I returned to the street, and walked to the place where I had just met Ye Fei, Ping'er had already gone back, and there were still many people here looking at the portraits on the wall, talking in a whisper. I looked at my portrait again, said nothing, and prepared to go back.

I was about to turn to leave, but I saw a young woman in front of me who had been looking up at the portrait on the wall, her back was somewhat familiar, and she also turned around at this time and was taking a picture with me.

Although I hadn't seen each other for many years, I recognized the somewhat familiar face at a glance.

"Rue?"

Before I could react, I had already called out this name - wasn't she the girl from the Zhao family who lived next door to Liu San'er's house in Jixiang Village?

As soon as she heard someone call her name, she immediately raised her head to look at me, but she was startled by my face, stared at me stunned for a long time, and subconsciously walked over: "Are you calling me?" You're—"

I froze for a while, completely forgetting my current situation, but suddenly seeing an acquaintance, it was inevitable that I would lose some shape.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Rue Xiang frowned, looked at me for a while, and the more she looked at it, the more her brows twisted, and I said, "Yes, I-"

She remembered something, turned her head to look at the portrait on the wall, and suddenly her eyes widened in shock: "You, you are—light—"

"Shh

I hurriedly reached out to cover her mouth and pulled her into an alley on the side of the street.

Rue Xiang was still a little unconscious, staring at my face all the time, and then said, "It's really you?" How do you- how do you do that? ”

I pulled my scarf up a little in embarrassment: "I'm sick." ”

“……”

She looked at me in disbelief for a moment, her brow furrowed.

Reunion does not mean that she will be happy, I also know that she doesn't like me, although she didn't say it in person, but I know that her feelings for Liu San'er are not ordinary, and she is only afraid of her, otherwise Aunt Zhao will not be so cold every time she sees me, and I am married to Liu San'er, as a childhood sweetheart, she has never been present except for letting people help send a hand-embroidered embroidery, and she has never been there for several days after that.

I'm not a good appearance for her.

Thinking of this, I don't know if I was right or wrong to call her name just now.

The two of them stood in the alley for a long time, no one spoke, and the atmosphere became a little awkward.

After a while, she turned her head to see someone selling sweet porridge at the other end of the alley, and said, "Let's go drink porridge." ”

I nodded and followed her.

In this way, the stalls on the street are naturally not as good as the restaurant, and the weather outside is also cold, but a bowl of steaming sweet porridge is still warm in my hand, I hold the fragrant sweet porridge but I don't dare to drink it, and now my body is becoming more and more uncontrollable, and I don't know if there will be an embarrassing scene after drinking a sip, so I can only hold it in my hand to keep warm. It's rue, I don't know if it's because the porridge is very warm, after she drank it, her face was a little red.

After a while, as if she had plucked up her courage, she looked up at me: "He-third brother, do you have-?" ”

I also knew she had to ask.

"He's fine now."

Rue Xiang looked at me: "You two are still together?" ”

I was stunned for a moment, and immediately remembered that the things that happened before Liu San'er and I left Jixiang Village at the beginning, it was impossible for any normal man to forgive me anymore, and she asked me, but it was just a temptation.

Looking at Ruxiang's surprised eyes, I thought for a moment and said, "Over the years, he and I have experienced a lot of things, and these things are hard to describe. But what I can tell you is that he is very good now, and he is a great official in the capital. ”

"Huh?! He's an official, huh? ”

"Hmm."

Rue Xiang lowered her head and didn't speak, her long eyelashes trembled slightly, and there was a look on her face that she didn't know whether she was happy or sad, and muttered, "He's doing well...... That's good. Actually, I already knew that he would be promising...... Since I was a child, I have known that he is different from us. ”

I looked at her, and I felt so sad that I couldn't speak.

After a long while, Rue looked up at me again: "I just saw the portrait on the wall - what's the matter with you?" How come I still hear someone say, you are the emperor's side? What the hell are you? ”

I was a little embarrassed and a little nervous.

I didn't intend to let her know that Rue Xiang was just a quiet woman in a fishing village, and that she shouldn't be exposed to the unbearable things that filled my life. But what's even more troublesome now is that as long as you expose me and put me in the hands of the government, you can get a thousand taels of gold, and I look at Rue Xiang's current appearance, and it doesn't look like I'm rich, just in case-

Sensing my nervous gaze, Rue immediately understood, and her face immediately turned red.

I subconsciously said, "You, don't tell me the news that you have seen me." ”

“……”

"Please."

Rue Xiang raised her head and glanced at me, with a slightly angry look: "Who do you think of me?" ”

When I heard what she said, I was a little relieved. Why, perhaps, I believe more in a person's self-esteem, especially in front of me, she is more reluctant to be looked down upon.

I smiled awkwardly, and then changed the topic, looking at her dress, a green silk has been pulled up, and a wooden hairpin is pinned obliquely behind her head, although it is simple, but it makes her delicate face a little more chic . This kind of dress is clearly not the dress of the girl who was not out of the cabinet at the beginning. I asked, "Are you married now?" ”

"Hmm." She nodded, but for some reason, a look of shyness flashed across her face. Before I could figure it out, I heard her say in a low voice: "I, married Gou Er." ”

"Gou Er?" I was stunned for a moment, and immediately remembered the person who didn't learn and didn't know how to learn, frowned, and immediately understood why she had such a ashamed look just now.

How could it be, marry him?

Although it's hard to say that the flowers are inserted in cow dung, looking at my eyes, Rue Xiang herself understands, and only smiles bitterly: "In the end, it's just to get married." ”

“……”

In the end, it is to get married.

A simple sentence, but for some reason, I felt sour in my heart when I heard it.

For many women, a life is actually two and a half lives, the first half of the life is given by God, and the second half of the life is given by people.

If you meet the right person and can be together in love, then you will not live in vain in this life; If you don't meet it, or if you miss it, it will be difficult for this life. Some people may insist on dying in loneliness, while some people may just accept their fate and will be settled.

Thinking back to my life, countless people have said to me countless times that I should accept my fate.

However, who is really willing to do so?

After Rue Xiang said that, it seemed that she didn't even know what to say, so she only lowered her head silently. I don't know how long it took, she raised her head to look at the sky, and said, "It's getting late, I'm going back." Otherwise, he'll have to—" She looked at me and stopped.

I heard something, but I didn't ask, I just said, "How did you come to the city?" ”

"I'm here to sell some needlework and family vegetables. These days are not allowed to go into the water, and many people in the village can't bear it. ”

"Ah......h

As she spoke, she remembered something again, and said to me, "Will you be able to come out tomorrow?" ”

"Tomorrow?"

"Well, I have something for you. Tomorrow morning, you come here and wait for me, okay? ”

Although I didn't know what she would give me, I nodded immediately, Rue Xiang drank the little sweet porridge left in the bowl, put some money on the small table, nodded at me, got up and hurried away with the basket.

When I went back that night, the seventh sister-in-law didn't find anything, and they still trained the children as usual, kneading the dough and stuffing, and preparing the materials for the buns to be made the next day.

The next day, when the seventh sister-in-law went out, I put aside Ping'er, who had been pestering me to ask, and went out.

I waited at the sweet porridge stall on the corner of the street as promised, and after waiting for a while, I saw Rue Xiang coming over, and as soon as I stepped forward, I immediately saw that her face was faintly red and swollen, and even her eyes were still a little red.

I hurriedly said, "Ruexiang, what's wrong with you?" ”

She kept her head down, listening to my question, her face turned even redder, and she subconsciously wanted to cover it with her hands, but she knew that she couldn't cover it, so she could only pull me to the Hutong Palace, and I kept asking: "Why is your face swollen?" ”

"You don't ask."

As she spoke, she took out a small cloth bag from her sleeve and stuffed it into my hand: "Here you go." ”

That cloth bag is heavy, I can barely hold it, what is it? I felt that it seemed to be hard inside, and I was surprised to untie the rope and see that it was a large bag of broken silver!

I looked up in surprise and asked her, "What, this is—"

Rue Xiang still lowered her head and said, "Don't get me wrong, I didn't give you this." ”

"That's—"

"Before, the third brother took the land at the back of the village, and then the land was taken back, and the government made up the silver. The money was taken by the village chief, and I have been helping him - to help you collect it. ”

I looked at her in amazement.

There is not much silver in it, but there are also seven or eight taels, which is a lot of wealth for an ordinary family, but I didn't expect Rue Xiang to take it like this, just take it, and after seeing me, it will be given to me.

No.

Looking at her lowered face and the flickering eyes under her eyelashes, I immediately understood.

She kept the silver for Liu San'er.

At this time, looking at her somewhat red and swollen face, I also understood: "You, you were beaten, right?" ”

“……”

"Who hit you? Gou Er? ”

“……”

"Is it because you have to take out this silver, so he beat you?"

"Don't ask."

As she said this, Ruexiang's voice was already choked, and she hurriedly turned her head away from my eyes, but the more clearly I saw a few finger prints on her fair face, and even her ears were red. I couldn't help but grit my teeth: "How can he beat people like this?" ”

Rue Xiang stretched out her hand and gently stroked her face, her white and thin hands became more and more red and swollen on her face and looked so hideous, but she just sighed helplessly: "He's not wrong." ”

“……”

"It's me who is not good, obviously married......"

I was stunned.

And she couldn't say it anymore, her originally red and swollen cheeks became more and more red, and she lowered her head.

The atmosphere in the alley suddenly became cold to freezing, and a gust of wind whistled past, making me shiver, as if I had returned to the cold and biting north.

Rue She ......

I was silent for a long time, my throat kept gurgling, trying to say something, but I swallowed it several times, and finally I mustered up enough strength to speak: "Ruexiang, you-you don't think about him anymore." ”

“……”

"That's really not good...... I'm not saying you're bad, but, like this- it's not good for you. ”

“……”

"He, he's not the same person he used to be......"

I still remember very clearly the young man with dark skin, snow-white teeth, and extraordinarily bright smile in the fishing village, and also remember the solemn and upright face in the court, and the important minister who has been worthy of great responsibility, my deepest memory is that night, he lit the fire of the Jixian Palace, with a fierce aura like a beast.

Obviously he is a familiar person, who haunts me in my dreams every night, but I can't bring him together in the same person.

He's already far away from me, not to mention Rue, not to mention, maybe he already has it by his side-

Thinking of this, I only felt a throbbing pain in my chest, and I didn't dare to think about it anymore.

At this time, Rue Xiang also choked up and said, "I know, I know I shouldn't think about it, so I asked you to come over today and give you all these things, just to make yourself stop thinking about it." ”

As she spoke, her thin, almost revealing hand gently reached into her sleeve, and she took out something from it, squeezed it hard, and then said, "This is also for you." ”

“……”

I didn't know what else she had to give me, so I reached over and took something heavy, which she wrapped in a handkerchief, and I carefully unfolded the handkerchief, only to see that inside was a long-life lock.

There are a few more words on it-

Light......

Liu San......

Never leave ......

I stared blankly at the longevity lock, the shiny silver surface could almost reflect my appearance, but the silver light flashed so that my eyes were blurred, I only felt a burst of hot surge up, I don't know what was going on, I had heard the sound of clicking.

Tears, like beads without feeling, broken threads, fell on my palms drop by drop, silver locked.

This is the long-life lock that Liu San'er gave Li'er back then!

I still remember, although at the beginning, I only glanced at it, and it was on that day, the day I was forced to separate from him, that I saw how much he didn't want to be separated from me, and how much he longed for the days to come.

But as soon as it was a qiē, it was all broken.

I only felt my heart ache, and even my breath twitched, and I don't know how long it took to speak, and my voice was so broken that I couldn't even believe it: "Why ......"

“……”

"Why, in your hands? I-"

"I picked it up." Rue Xiang looked at me and said softly: "That day, you two were suddenly gone, the child was gone, and even the madman in your family was gone. Many people in the village went looking for it, and I was in the corner of your yard, and I saw this, as if it had been lost. ”

Lost by someone?

By the way, I remembered, I completely fainted that day, and when I woke up, I was already at Pei Yuanhao's residence, naturally he dealt with those things, and this silver lock on Li'er's body - he hated the relationship between me and Liu San'er so much, naturally he would not stay.

"I don't know what happened to you, but I still want to help you keep this thing, maybe one day, you and your children will want it."

I looked up at Rue's kind and gentle face, and said with a smile, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." ”

When I said these words, I didn't cry bitterly, and I even had a grateful smile on my face, but the tears were completely uncontrollable, like beads with broken threads, falling drop by drop, raging wildly on my face, and by the end my throat had been completely blocked. I could only bury my face in the palm of my hand, and the cold silver lock stuck to my cheek, stabbing me with pain, and tears gushing down, and finally all of them were in my handkerchief.

Rue didn't speak, just looked at me quietly.

I don't know how long it took, she and I calmed down, and Rue Xiang said softly: "I'll come today, give you all this, and I'll give it all to you." ”

As she spoke, she seemed to have made up her mind: "It's all for you!" ”

I looked at her, understood the meaning of these words, and only said softly, "Thank you." ”

She added: "I don't know who you really are, and I don't know what is going on with you now, but since the government is looking for you, you should hide." Your face—"

I wasn't in the mood to laugh, I just lowered my head: "I know." I'm going to go. ”

"Oh......"

Rue Xiang didn't ask me where I was going, seeing that I didn't even seem to be in the mood to speak, she was a little cramped, and only reluctantly said: "Your house is still there." I'm fine - I used to be fine, I would go and clean up, and if you were going to come back to stay, you could still come back. ”

After she finished speaking, she saw me looking up at her and said, "Many old people in the village have left...... A lot of things, no one remembers anymore. ”

“……”

"That's it, I'm going back."

“……”

“…… You, take care. ”

After saying that, she nodded, turned around and hurried away.

It was like a gust of wind, coming and going, but it left a heavy mark on my hand.

I stood in the empty alley, and the wind blew the winter chill across my face, obviously it was a warm southern country, but it gave me a feeling like a knife.

Maybe it's because of this moment, the heart, like a knife.

I lowered my head and looked at the silver lock, a faint smile appeared on my face, such a smile on my swollen and terrifying face, maybe as hideous as a ghost, but my heart has never been so helpless. Tears poured out of his eyes again, dripping unscrupulously, each one so hot that it fell in the palm of his hand, almost as if the silver lock was about to melt away.

Haha, hahahaha......

I laughed.

The more I laughed, the harder I laughed, I couldn't breathe, and I laughed so hard that I could only lean against the cold wall to keep myself from falling.

The wind blew through the empty alley, and there were bustling crowds on both sides, and none of them stayed, as if this empty alley, this empty me in the alley, was another world, everyone knew where they were going, but I, I didn't know what I should do.

I looked down at the silver lock, it was just a few small words, but it stabbed me to death.

Why?

Why?

Aren't you going to let go?

Aren't you going to let me go like this and let me find someone better?

Not leaving? Don't leave!

But why did you show up again?

Why is it that the world is big, but you are everywhere?!

I don't know how I got back to my sister-in-law's house, a wave of uncomfortable and nauseous feelings kept coming up, and when I got home, my eyes were already black, and when I pushed the door open, I almost fell to the ground.

Fortunately, as soon as she heard me push the door, Ping'er ran out.

"You're back?!"

When he saw that I seemed to faint, he hurriedly came up and helped me: "What's wrong with you, are you uncomfortable?" ”

I bit my lower lip and forced myself not to faint, grabbed his arm hard and walked back, Ping'er helped me all the way back to the room, and kept saying all the way: "I said I would accompany you out, you don't want to!" Look at you like this, what if you faint on the street? ”

My brow furrowed even tighter.

At this time, I just want to fall into bed and sleep hard, and forget all the crowded images or memories in my head, those memories that almost drive me crazy. But Ping'er's loud voice really didn't give me such a chance, so I finally went back to the room, sat on the edge of the bed, and immediately brought me a glass of warm water, and asked, "What are you doing today?" Did you see anyone? Why don't you give it to me? Are you ready to cross the river? ”

"......" I didn't speak, and my face became paler.

After taking a sip of water, he felt a little better, and I looked up at him: "You-I'll rest for a while, and then I'll tell you, okay?" ”

"Oh...... Oh. ”

He nodded, took the cup in my hand, and saw that I was about to lie down on the bedpost, so he walked to the bed again, and looked at me, I saw that he was a little speechless and stopped, but he was really not in the mood to speak, and only said, "I'll rest for a while." ”

“……”

Seeing that I was already about to lie down, Ping'er still didn't walk away.

Although to me, he is a junior, but sixteen or seventeen-year-old boys are really not small, lying down like this in front of him, I myself am a little embarrassed, I can only cheer up and look up at him: "What's the matter?" ”

Ping'er looked at me and said, "I just want to tell you that you came back late, and someone came to look for you just now." ”

"Looking for me?" I wondered, "Who came to me?" ”