My eyebrows frowned slightly: "What happened as a result?" ”

"Hmm."

He nodded, and said with a pale face: "That year...... Strangely, winter in Jiangnan came earlier and colder than in any previous year, and it snowed. Li'er had never seen snow before, she was very excited, and yelled for us to take her out to play, so I took her out with Ruoshi, and walked until late, the snow never stopped, but everyone's interest was very high, and they didn't want to go home, so they simply went on a cruise river. ”

When he said this, his face became a little darker, and he said, "Actually, I should also think that her body has just recovered, how can she not be tired after following us outside for a whole day?" After getting on the boat, her face has not been good-looking, I asked her if she was uncomfortable, but she said no, only a little cold...... So I put my fox fur on her. ”

I asked, "And then?" ”

"Then, something happened to Egami."

“……！”

After Pei Yuanxiu said this, he also paused, and then said: "Suddenly a group of people appeared to forcibly cross the river, and we found out that it was people from the imperial court. ”

My heart skipped a beat.

Someone from the court? That's—

He didn't look at me either, but said with a pale face, "Fortunately, our people reacted quickly and made a move with them. Those men did not come much, and apparently were not accustomed to water fighting, so they fought until midnight and were defeated, and then retreated to the north shore. ”

I didn't speak, I just felt that my heart was beating too hard just now, and my chest was bursting with a slight pain.

Although he didn't say much about that night, I already understood that that night, it was Pei Yuanhao who sent Du Yan and them south to cross the river to find Li'er, and they fought with the people of Jinling on the river, but then they were forced to retreat.

Later, Du Yan returned to the capital and told Shui Xiu about the incident, and Shui Xiu unconsciously mentioned it to me.

But at that time, I could never have imagined that Li'er was also on the river at that time.

Even-

I turned my head to look at Pei Yuanxiu, his face was also a little pale, and I saw that he was a little distracted and said, "At that time, Ruoshi, she suddenly fell." ”

“……”

"She was still conscious, but she couldn't say anything, she couldn't move, her face was as pale as snow on the ground."

“……”

At that time, Li'er was still young, and when he saw Ruoshi like this, he was immediately scared and cried. I knew it must have been a relapse of her old illness, but Yao Lao was not around. ”

"And what do you do?"

"I hugged her from the river and back to the house."

“……”

"Along the way, she was bleeding and her clothes were stained red."

“……”

"I thought she was going to die, at any time, she seemed to know it herself, but all the way, she was bleeding and even breathing very weakly, but she kept looking at me, looking at me all the time......"

At this, he glanced at me, his eyes flickering, as if he would be broken at any moment.

It dawned on me a little bit.

On such a cold night, in such snow, a sick and weak woman in his fox fur, her face paler than the snow, lay in his arms, like a person made of snow, maybe a little more strength to hold her, a little hotter breath exhaled, it will crush her, it will melt her.

However, she kept looking at him.

The soft light flickering in those bright pupils could be extinguished in the cold wind at any time, but they used up what might be the last bit of strength in their lives, and kept looking at him, wanting to engrave his shadow into their own lives.

At this moment, I suddenly chuckled.

He seemed to be still a little indulged in the past, and suddenly saw my smile, and looked at me with some trepidation: "......"

I looked at him and said with a smile: "I suddenly feel that Miss Zitong was grounded by you at the beginning, and she was a little wronged. ”

“……”

"Now, I wish I hadn't shown up."

Looking at my eyes slowly turning red, his face suddenly sank: "Qingying ......"

Although I was still smiling, when I spoke again, my voice was inevitably choked and hoarse, and even dyed with a hint of sadness: "If only I hadn't appeared." ”

No wonder Han Zitong wanted to kill me as soon as they met, over the years she had witnessed her sister and this man supporting each other, and also witnessed her sister's dedication and desire for this man, but suddenly, I appeared.

I showed up.

……

And Pei Yuanxiu was like a demon, even in the year when I left Jinling to avoid him in Jixiang Village, he didn't give up at all, and finally on that night, almost at the cost of his life, he reversed the relationship between me and him.

Han Zitong, how can you not hate me? How can you not want to kill me?

As for what happened after that night, I thought about it and laughed again, and the sourness welled up in my heart, almost forcing my tears out.

Some people, some things, really can't be understood by seeing them with their own eyes.

Between them, it is not the word "past" that can be summed up.

The one who is wrong is me......

Looking at the small and faint light in my eyes, looking at the expression on my face that was full of tears but always smiling, Pei Yuanxiu's face suddenly sank, he took a step forward, grabbed my arm at once, and grabbed it hard: "Qingying!" ”

I looked at him helplessly.

Although he rushed up so impulsively, and grabbed my arm and his hand was so hot, when his name was called, he froze and looked at me even more helplessly than I was.

After being silent for a long time, he said softly: "Qingying, I am telling you this, not to say that it is your fault......

“……”

"You're not wrong, and I don't think I'm doing anything wrong."

“……”

"Qingying, my heart, still hasn't changed - you are the woman I love the most, and you are still my bottom line. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, anyone! ”

When he said this, his hand was slightly forced, and I fell into his palm as if I was about to be crushed by him, trembling slightly, but I just looked at his determined eyes, and I couldn't say a word.

After saying that, he was silent for a moment, and then said slowly: "I just want to sue you ......"

“……”

"If she poems—"

When he said this, he didn't seem to know how to say more, but he looked at me hard, and his gaze was as gentle as ever, as gentle as a soft veil in the water.

But at this moment, it grabbed my throat and made it impossible for me to suffocate.

I said, "Don't talk about it. ”

I struggled, but his hand still held me tightly, and this time I gritted my teeth, almost with the last bit of strength, broke free from his grasp, and took a step back: "I, I don't want to listen." ”

His hand reached out to me, as if to catch me, and I had staggered back and forth and stepped back, and the wolf almost fell, and kept shaking his head at him: "Don't...... Don't ......"

His hand froze in the air.

I watched his familiar figure standing in the doorway, the flickering candlelight swaying behind him, as if the mood of the heart that I and he could not calm down at this moment was more violent than any wind and waves at sea, and even made it impossible for me to distinguish what was right and what was wrong.

Perhaps, feelings can't tell right from wrong.

It's just, I don't know why, I feel so painful.

I took one last look at him, then slowly backed away until I was out of the faint light of the room, into the deepest, heaviest darkness around, and turned to leave.

……

It was a long night.

Maybe it was because after leaving his room, I walked in the dark night for a long time, from my sight to my breath, everything was dyed with that deep blackness, and when I returned to my room, I didn't even light the lamp, and just lay down with my clothes closed.

The darkness in the eyes slowly faded as time passed, and the milky morning light and a faint coolness penetrated through the window.

I just kept my empty eyes open all night.

The small body in my arms squirmed, I heard Li'er's sticky murmur, looked down at her, and saw that under her messy forehead, those eyes slowly opened, first reflecting the light outside the window, lit up, and then slowly raised her head to look at me.

The moment she met my gaze, she was shocked.

"Mother?"

"Hmm."

"Didn't my mother sleep?"

“…… No, I don't. ”

She looked at me in a daze, and I didn't know what I said "no", whether I didn't sleep or didn't sleep, and hesitated to ask something, I already sat up and said, "Aren't you going to Yangzhou today?" Then hurry up. ”

She was stunned again: "Mother, did you promise me to go to Yangzhou?" ”

I smiled: "When did my mother lie to you?" ”

She laughed "wow" and threw herself into my arms, I was already feeling dizzy when I was sitting, but at this moment she pounced on me, I couldn't hold it anymore, and I fell down all of a sudden, and the back of my head hit the head of the bed.

"Hmm!" I groaned in pain.

When Li'er saw me like this, she was also frightened, and hurriedly stood up and hugged me, frightened and sorry: "Mother, mother, are you okay?" Does it hurt? ”

I reached out and rubbed it, only smiling faintly: "It's okay." ”

She still looked at me with palpitations, I sat up slowly on the mattress, although it was just a pain when I hit it, but because I didn't sleep all night, my drowsy mind was the most uncomfortable for me, plus the faint pain in the back of my head, I wanted to vomit.

In order not to make her feel guilty, I endured the uncomfortable feeling, got out of bed with a quiet smile, and then looked back at her: "Can't you afford it?" If not, their ship won't be waiting for you. ”

Li'er was still very worried about me, but seeing my smile and calm appearance, it seemed that there was no big problem, so she got out of bed with peace of mind and put on her clothes. Hearing the commotion in our house, the maid who was serving outside knocked on the door and came in, bringing hot salt and towels, and after we had washed up, I combed her hair again, and then had breakfast.

It was almost time, and I walked out with her.

As soon as he walked out of the gate of the inner courtyard, he saw Pei Yuanxiu standing on the small bridge.

He was still dressed in white, surrounded by the morning mist that had not yet dissipated, and his familiar figure was thickened.

For some reason, my eyes were blurry.