There is a low-lying land in Luoyang City, which is full of vegetable gardens, and Li Weigong hid in it when he committed an accident. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info later he built Chang'an City there is no low-lying land, the ground inside the city wall is a plane paved with loess to tamp, the tolerance is within half an inch, it rains heavily in summer, and the water does not know where it flows, often flat ground accumulates more than a foot deep, but after the rain stops, there is no puddle in the entire Chang'an City, and there are no weeds in the city, so there is not a single mosquito in the city in summer. It is said that people born in Chang'an City do not have hair on their bodies, nor do they have armpit hair. This must be the envy of European and American women. There is not a single dog or frog in Chang'an City, and even a bird does not come after dark, so it is silent and very quiet. Li Weigong was afraid that the emperor would not like it, so he designed a robot frog and a machine cicada, and ordered each family to buy ten each, and after dark, they were fully wound and released. Because it has his name written on it, others will definitely send it back after picking it (it's useless to keep it in your hand, it's just that you're tired of putting on a few more clockwork). The frog croaks and jumps around, and if it stops and jumps under the back wall of your house, it will make you sleep all night, because all the clockwork power is used to quack, and it can deaf your ears. In this case, the only way is to go out and find it, by which time the walking part is often out of order and can no longer jump, but you can wrap it in a triple quilt and put it in a box and wait until dawn to dispose of it, or throw it in a neighbor's yard and have someone take care of it. After the machine cicada is released, it will squeak while flying along a very irregular track, because it is afraid of being damaged, so the shell of the machine cicada is cast of iron, so it is quite dangerous for people who set the road at night, and it will break the head and bleed when it hits. The way to prevent this danger is not to go outside after dark. Li Weigong also designed a kind of machine firefly, which caused several fires during the trial stage, and designed a machine to watch the dog, but during the trial it was found that it bites everyone, especially likes to bite the owner, so these two inventions have not been put into production, although it is not without room for improvement.

He also invented a robot female cat that would scratch her head and pose, but there was a clamp in her body, and once the male cat was tempted to have sex with her, she would castrate him with a click. When the invention was successful, he let it out, hid himself in the house, watched from afar with a telescope, and clapped and laughed when a male cat fell for it. At the time of these inventions, Wei Gong was only in his fifties, energetic, often doing sorry red things, often smelling of various perfumes on his body, and often had lipstick marks on the back of his neck and behind his ears. When the red whisk pointed out, he smiled and went to wash his neck. Then he suddenly wilted, and only one eye was open. It's called old age.

Li Weigong pretended to be stupid when he got old because he lost interest in everything. At this point, he thinks it's boring to try to solve mathematical problems, because even if you don't solve those problems, people in the future will solve them, and it's boring to do those weird inventions, because if you don't do those inventions, others will make them. The only fun thing is sleeping. It's a similar idea to what I think at some point. I'm talking about the times when I think Fermatin is tired of the ideal - I have proved forty-eight lemmas, each twenty pages thick, and all of them have been proved very beautifully. This shows that my ability to prove is very strong. Unfortunately, none of these forty-eight lemma have anything to do with Fermat's theorem - at such times I lie down and sleep, and I sleep for forty-eight hours. Needless to say, my sleep is different from Li Weigong's sleep, he sleeps after proving everything, and I sleep before proving everything. But I don't take every chance to sleep, but he sleeps all the time. Here's the difference between young and old. When a man is young, he is full of impulses to do things, to change everything endlessly, and when these impulses suddenly disappear, he is old.

According to Hongfu's recollections, the most energetic moment of Li Weigong's life was when he hid in the vegetable field. From evening to midnight, he was making love with various poses and red whisks. And Hongfu doesn't have as much energy as him, so he often falls asleep while doing it. In the middle of the night he ran out to dig the river, ostensibly because there was stagnant water in the river to breed mosquitoes, but in fact there was nowhere to vent his remaining energy. Before dawn, he ran back and continued to do that. This situation makes the red whisk from youth to middle age have to sleep as soon as they have sex. If she could, she would always put five or six eiderdown pillows on her back, and then it would be a dark and sweet dream. When she woke up, if she found that Wei Gong had done some kind of action on her, she would slap him in the mouth. In fact, since she escaped from Yang Su's mansion, she felt that she had fallen asleep. It will be like this with people who are energetic. I know first-hand that our head of department is such an energetic person. He is a black fat man, running around in and out of the department every day, if he meets me at the door of the office building, he will slap me on the back (the force is almost going to kill me), and say: Xiao Wang, I read your paper, and it is so well written. Write a few more. Then he walked away, leaving me in the hallway, dumbfounded, and my face red from top to bottom, down to my navel. At this time, I always thought, when he sent the paper, I also concocted the same method: Boss, read your paper, write it well! and then slapped him so much that his blood spurted wildly. Of course, I had to practice the Iron Sand Palm beforehand, but I don't have the skills to do it now. He opened four big courses and brought more than 20 graduate students, which was not enough, and he had to hold a department-wide meeting on Tuesday and Friday, from students cheating on exams to running water in the toilet, he was all alone. When I arrived at the venue, I fell asleep and fell asleep, feeling that someone was pinching me. When I opened my eyes, I saw a female colleague in her forties and fifties. She said with a look of pity and disgust, it seems that you should bring a bib. It turned out that my saliva had soaked my pants, as if I had peed my pants. If the face is facing the sky, this is not the case, but the head will see someone in the meeting room with his head on the back of the chair, his limbs spread, his mouth wide open, and his eyes rolled. Anyway, I still respect the boss and don't want to do that. Red Whisk put a pillow on his back, his legs were raised high, and then he fell asleep, and I fell asleep with my head forward. The two situations are very different on the surface, but in reality they are the same. When I fall asleep, whatever you want.

Because of the red breeze, I have a good impression of people who love to sleep. I'm a lover of sleep, and if it weren't for Fermat's theorem, I would have loved to sleep all day. And Xiao Sun is a lover of sleep, and I often hear her shouting, "I'm so sleepy!" and then she was unkempt and wrapped herself in a dressing gown. Run out to the toilet. I hate the way of life of cohabitation, which makes people embarrassed to sleep, and I would like to answer: Sleep, what are you afraid of? But he didn't say it, because it wasn't necessarily said to me. In an instant, the water tank roared, and she came out of the toilet and ran back to sleep. I sympathize with Xiao Sun, as a lady, she certainly doesn't have the courage to sleep anywhere. Not only did I fall asleep at the school, department, and department meetings, but I also fell asleep at the singing competition. It was May Day. The school union organizes a singing competition, and all teachers and staff are required to participate. Like everyone else, I changed into a white shirt and blue pants, and while I was waiting for the stage to play, I fell asleep against the wall, and I didn't go up to sing. It's a good thing for me, my place is in the center of the last row, standing on a three-level wooden platform. If I fall asleep there and fall headlong from above, not only will my own life be at risk, but the headmaster will also be endangered. Because I'm going to hit the center of the first row, and he's sitting there. Based on this personal experience, I think Yang Su's family also has meetings all the time, and there is an old pious woman who gives a report there, from saving eyebrow pencil to not forgetting to wash your butt at night, everything has to be talked about.

Red Whisk fell asleep there. But I didn't dare to close my eyes when I slept, because if I made a mistake in Yang's mansion, I would be beaten to death and buried in a mass grave. So it's not so much sleeping, it's more like being stunned. In contrast, how blessed it is to be able to live today, and we can sleep fairly safely. I was very conscious in this regard, and I was picked up and reprimanded by the leaders in my deep sleep, because I knew that our situation had improved considerably. During the Cultural Revolution, when I was in the queue, I met a military representative, who whistled at one or two o'clock in the middle of the night to gather urgently, so that everyone could wish Chairman Mao a long life. Whoever keeps his buttons open will be criticized. So we all slept in full clothes, hats on our heads, sneakers on our feet, and looked like corpses waiting to say goodbye. This military representative was surgically incised before he got married, and he was infected, and finally it was swollen as big as a fist. Some classmates saw it in the toilet, so we drank wine and celebrated. I drank more than a pound of liquor, almost drunk to death, and I didn't dare to touch any wine in the future.

I think I'm not energetic enough, it's the same as Red Whisk. For people like us, being able to sleep is a blessing. Sleep comes with long, real dreams. According to my statistics, one hour of sleep can produce twenty hours of dreams, so sleep can greatly prolong life. On the other hand, there's nothing interesting to do while awake, except for, which is to have meetings. So she later said that the happiest period of her life was when she hid in the vegetable garden, when reality and dreams were mixed together—the black silhouette of a dead willow tree, the blue trumpet flowers on the fence, the stagnant water in the depression, the surface covered with flying insects, the occasional white butterfly as big as a wheel, and so on. She also saw the Northern Lights at latitudes of more than thirty degrees, something that geographers could not imagine. She took out a large leather-faced notebook to show others -- those others were young ladies and undesirable girls -- and inside it was a nude portrait that Wei Gong had painted for her in the Land Temple, and because it was her, she thought that she had painted it herself, which was a great negligence. She also told them that it was a pity that a large number of them were lost. The girls circulated the album, and there was a picture of a red body full of facets. Some people say, "This is Cubism." Hongfu laughed and said: What kind of cubism! This is sleeping on thatch! Someone asked mysteriously: Aunt Hongfu, it must have been very harmonious at that time. She immediately became alert and said, "I can't tell you that you are minors." Others persuaded her for a while, and then she said: Wei Gong is very big. After a few more moments, she said everything, and laughed uncharacteristically. In this case, it is better not to be vigilant at the beginning. If we talk about these things after we are vigilant, the crime of corrupting young people will be even more ironclad.

Compared with us, the bearded prince is an energetic person, so he became the head of the king of Fuso, straightened his waist, and presided over the meeting all day long: the courtiers' royal meeting, the concubine's meeting, the prince's meeting, the princess's meeting, and the weekly meeting with the old people in the countryside, he was very busy. No matter at home or outside, no matter how big or small, he has to ask questions. Everyone said that he was a good king, but the concubines were not satisfied with him, because his red hair was like a cocoon, and he would not untie it when he slept. The women nicknamed him Big Brown Bag. Sometimes someone is angry and wants to commit suicide by seppuku, but he summons him seriously and persuades him. The persuasion was ineffective, and everything was arranged in a serious manner: the clothes to be worn by suicide, the knife to be used for seppuku, and so on. When everything was arranged, the girl went into the designated room, lit candles in the corners, and just as they had found her navel and wanted to go under the knife, she ran into it again and said, "Please lay out the mat, please!" If it weren't for the Fuso girl, she would have stabbed him in the throat. But she just bowed. One thing we all have to admit is that the Fuso people are more resistant to tossing than us.

After Red Whisk escaped from Yang's mansion, although the leaders did not blame the bearded man, he felt that he was responsible. This matter is actually reasonable, think about it, if the Yang Mansion escapes a courtesan, and the leaders are arrested with a reward, won't it seem that the leaders are greedy for women, and they are very unskilled? In addition, the reward will make the courtesans feel that they are very rare. On the other hand, if Red Whisk escaped, it would not work if she was allowed to escape, so that all of them would escape. The solution to this contradiction is to have people who don't need the leaders to speak and do things, and the bearded man is such a person. He also knew that Hongfu ran away with Li Jing, because Hongfu always inquired about Li Jing before he ran. Therefore, he took a long leave and inquired about the places that Li Jing used to go to, such as Jiufang Street and Turkish bath. And inquire about this kind of work is the most skillful, he is like all swordsmen, always change into night clothes as soon as it gets dark, eavesdrop under the windows of all people, and as soon as he hears that the people inside are ** nature, he breaks in and cuts them in half. And when the government came to conduct an autopsy, when it was four and a half, it was immediately known that it was the swordsman's doing, and it was no longer investigated.

There is one thing that needs to be added about what the bearded man did. Although he keeps saying that Hongfu is his confidante and that he will always love her, in fact, this is a myth. To explain this myth, we must mention at least the following three aspects: first, there is neither a skin-to-skin blind date nor a sea oath between him and Hongfu, if he really falls in love with her for life, it is platonic love, which is very noble. Second, he said that he only loved the red whisk, so that he could hang the appetite of the concubines, and he didn't care how many girls were killed. Third, although he was legal and his work was impeccable, he was a foreigner after all. The patriots of Fusang got drunk and yelled: "Let's be Fusang, don't we have no one, let a foreigner be the king?" and then go and assassinate him. Although the bearded man was in distress many times, he was always unharmed. He was almost invulnerable because of the human hair that was more than an inch thick on his body. As the king of Fuso, he was covered in these picked things, making them rancid and smelly, and he had prickly heat and lice, and he had to have some noble reason. Red Whisk was for that reason, because the hair was hers, though she didn't want it later.

After explaining this, it should be said that there was a time when the bearded prince wanted to capture the red whisk back to the Yang Mansion so that he could be beaten to death and buried in a mass grave, and he was busy for this. Of course, the bearded man is also a kind person. He did decide to intercede with Red Whisk when he was caught and beaten to death with a stick. But we all know that this kind of intercession is not even bullshit. I've heard a lot of bullshit like this. For example, someone said at the room division meeting: A certain director - and then a certain professor should be considered first in the room division - of course, we should also give due consideration to the situation of living with others like Wang Er. Everyone else has thought about it, what can I give me proper consideration? When I heard this, I always said, "Don't think about it, don't think about it, I'm very good, the neighbor is a woman, and she's beautiful." They were sad to hear that a single man like me lived in a house with a beautiful single woman, but the house was too tight to imagine. It's useless for me to say these things, but to the bullshit is to push it off, at least to make the dog angry.

I said that Xiao Sun is very beautiful, which is also a kind of myth, at least it cannot be generalized. Sometimes it's pretty, sometimes it's not. When she had just awoke, she sat down in a chair in the hall, desolate, her face as gray as a dead man's, and her hair was scattered like an elm tree that was losing its leaves. She craned her neck, her eyes straightened, and she looked a little pretended to be deep. But if you ask her what's wrong, she'll say, "I'm tired of sleeping." There is also a little truth in this statement: it is more tiring to sleep than to sit in the meeting room and not use your brain. But it's too easy to compare with proving mathematical theorems. The woman sat in the hall, wearing a rayon dressing gown—the kind that pretended not to wrinkle, but in fact wrinkled up like a mess—revealing a large part of her breast. There were several wrinkles on it, which indicated that she was sleeping on her stomach and pressed there. As a woman, if you don't even take your own boobs seriously, you must not be trusted. I think their leaders think the same way, so although she is also an old qualification in the library, she is never reused.

We can know from the book that there are many famous people in Chinese history, and we can also know how they befriended, who were who's who, etc., but we don't know what they ate and how those things were made. As far as I know, when Hongfu and Li Jing hid in the vegetable patch, they ate boiled taro and boiled eggplant. The taro is not a small taro from the north, which is steamed and soft, but a large one-headed taro from the south, twenty or thirty catties each, the more boiled it becomes, the harder it becomes, and finally it becomes a pot of white soup with a few broken bricks. The eggplant is not a large round eggplant in the north, which turns purple and black when it is young, but a long eggplant in the south, which is yellow and green, but with a little purple on the top, and is soft and messy after cooking, and you don't know what it is in your mouth when you eat it. These two things are very simple to cook, requiring neither oil nor salt, only a few firewoods. We didn't have anything to eat when we cut in line, so the leaders let us eat these things, saying that they were all food that we could only eat now. But the more I ate it, the more unpalatable I felt, and I felt that it was too hard and choked when I ate taro, and I felt the opposite when I ate eggplant, and I only felt that there was a bunch of soft stuff in my mouth going down, like a reptile in my throat, and it was creepy. I was by no means a coward, so I ate a lot of boiled eggplant at the time, but never touched the fruit of this herb afterwards. But the situation of Red Whisk is very different from mine, everything she has eaten before is fundamentally different from these two substances, so I don't know how to evaluate it.

She looked at Li Jing's face while eating, and thought to herself: As long as he frowns, I will say that it is unpalatable, and as long as he pouts, I will say that it is delicious. But Wei Gong was always expressionless, so she didn't know how to express her opinion. Later, she thought: What do you want to do if you express your opinions, I'll just follow the blind food. This shows that she doesn't know anything about these things, which has the advantage of being unbiased and the disadvantage of being dull. After eating, Li Jing brushed the wall with leftover taro soup, and the red whisk also brushed. She thought this matter was more interesting, so she said: Don't worry about it, I'll brush it all. According to this narrative, it is also a myth that Red Whisk is happiest when she hides in a vegetable patch. It was nothing more than a large depression, filled with the smell of vegetable garden, and anyone who was used to it would say that it smelled bad. But the red whisk was not accustomed to it—the smell of musk and sandalwood was everywhere in Yang's house, so strong that it could kill flies, and people who inhaled too much of that smell would make them feel dizzy and nasal congestion—she smelled this smell, and felt that her nose was clear and refreshed. There were a lot of mosquitoes there, but they didn't bite her. According to those mosquitoes, the blood in the red whisk tasted strange, very different from the blood she had sucked before, and her skin was too compact. Difficulty biting.

When she woke up in the morning, a cold white mist burst into the house, and an almost strange man slept in her arms in a pounced position, his hair coarse like horsehair. He was cold, his muscles were solid, and with a slight pinch of his fingers, he felt like he was pinching a horse. He also smells of stallions. It's an indescribable feeling, so she thought: this is happiness. This kind of skeptical and unpredictable mood lasted for a long time, until Li Jing became the Duke of Wei and built Chang'an City, but it still did not change. And when Wei Gong woke up every morning, he saw himself lying in the arms of a woman like a flower, and he had to think for a long time to remember what had happened. He worked all day, but he didn't quite know what he was doing. This is because he has too many brains, and what one brain does, the other doesn't know at all. At the same time, the two hundred and fifty-six tolerances searched all over the city for Li Jing like crazy, but they couldn't find it. After the ten-day period, their heads were also cut off and sent to the four gates to be hung. Because of the large number of people this time, the chiefs sent four executioners and four ox carts for transporting the heads. In order to divide the heads evenly, they were divided into four teams before cutting off their heads, and "East", "West", "South", and "North" were written on their faces, like some mahjong tiles. When they had finished cutting them and carried them away in bullock carts, the heads of the people were amazed at how so many people could be crowded in their faces, and they stared at each other. This is what happened after Li Weigong escaped from his home.