(The plot shift may have been abrupt.) Moreover, I know that many friends have a habit of reading books, starting from the first section, and like to skip the prologue, I want to say, if you haven't read the prologue, the content of this section, maybe you won't understand, so I suggest that friends who don't read the prologue have to go and see it first)

`

`

As I said, people are self-deceptive and self-paralyzed.

I think if it hadn't been for the question that suddenly asked me at night, maybe I wouldn't have recognized myself so quickly.

Sometimes I wonder if I don't know all along, maybe it's a good thing.

In contrast, let a person really recognize the despair and pain in his heart, or will he continue to live in ignorance and without a heart and lungs?

Which one is luckier?

`

Well, the question that Chen asked me is actually what many women ask men. The question is:

"Chen Yang, do you like me?"

Many men face this question of women, and it is also a beautiful girl who asks you this question shyly and affectionately. At this time, I'm afraid that few men will not be tempted, right?

`

As soon as these words reached my ears, my whole body suddenly stiffened. I suddenly realized how strange I felt about the woman in front of me.

I liked her, yes, I did, but strangely enough, even I was amazed at my strange idea.

I like her only because of her name, "荦荦".

In other words, I like those two words, not the person in front of me.

I was horrified by the thought of myself.

Chen Juju looked at me in a daze, and asked again in a softer and softer voice.

"Chen Yang, do you like me?"

`

"Chen Yang, do you like me?" - This sentence???!!! - I'm distracted.

This sentence is so familiar!

I vaguely remember a few years ago, a girl looked at me shyly and asked me this question. But I replied to her sadness.

And that girl's name is also "荦荦".

The girl, who had looked hopefully, said to me in a soft voice:

"Chen Yang, do you like me?" ……

`

"Chen Yang, do you like me?"

The voice in front of me seemed to be in my ears, and it seemed to be far away from me, as far away as the pure and unadulterated voice many years ago......

I could clearly hear something shattered like glass deep within my body.

I was pale and glazed like a fool.

I was freaked out of myself.

When I walked out of Chen Juju's house at night, my heart was suddenly blocked and I couldn't stand it. I was suddenly very irritable in my heart, and I felt a sense of sadness in my heart as I looked at the crowds rushing through the street.

That inexplicable sadness terrified me.

I had a vague feeling in my heart that I had discovered something. But I seemed scared to find something. I'm really scared! It's funny, but I don't even know what I'm afraid of!

`

I suddenly wanted to be alone, very, very much.

I want to see it.

It's not Chen.

It's that "荦荦".

I think the girl I kissed for the first time!

First I comb her hair for the girl!

First, I held her in my arms!

For the first time, I took her hand and ran happily on the street!

For the first time, we leaned together to watch the girl of the moon on the Purple Mountain at night!

For the first time, I secretly waited for her girl at her doorstep!

The first time I saved a month's breakfast money for a gift for her!!

I miss her! Crazy in my heart, inexplicable, and intense thinking about her!!

My girl, I miss her!

It was extremely sad in my mind to realize that all my interest in this girl was based solely on her name, "荦荦荦"

Just because she's also called "荦荦".

Boom!

Boom!

These two words are pierced in the depths of my heart as if by magic, and inadvertently, they have taken root and sprouted, and have occupied one of the weakest spaces in my heart. Anyone or anything that touches these two words seems to make me weak and make my feelings fluctuate......

In order to "make a fuss", I ran back to Nanjing from Changshu like a madman.

For the sake of "Wo", I feel sorry for the pain of another girl.

I looked at the crowd on the street and my mind was a mess.

No!

Not a ball of hemp, but a fire!

`

On the street, I suddenly let out a painful heart-rending cry. Like the desperate, lonely howl of a wild beast in the desolate wasteland.

I woke up like crazy.

`

Love? Yes, huh? Love!

The love of my dreams! In the love I have been pursuing for so many years! A love that was easily discarded by myself! Love that was once ignored by myself!

All the explanations, all the answers, there are only two words! Two words entrenched in my heart are the most vulnerable!

Boom!

`

Regardless of the surprised eyes of the crowd, I suddenly had tears on my face, my sudden awakening, my momentary suddenness, heartache, I suddenly ran up on the street, took out my mobile phone, ran while being blurred by tears, and then quickly dialed out a string of numbers.

`

Years later, I still remember that number so clearly in my heart. I was terrified and saddened by this discovery!

I dialed that number with a trembling hand.

On the other end of the phone, a sweet, but cold voice like ice said to me:

"The call you made is down......"

I ran to the side of the road, stood in the middle of the road like a madman, and then stopped a taxi, ignoring the driver's surprised look, and gave him the address with all my might. The driver looked at my distorted face and said nothing.

`

When the car drove to two blocks away from the house, there was a traffic jam.

I pulled out my wallet, took out the largest face value, threw the driver, and rushed out the door.

`

On the street, I ran like a desperate beast. I ran almost forgetting my breath and my lungs were tearing like pain.

I ran to those two words.

`

Nothing seems to have changed in the neighborhood, the seesaw that once made her fall and hurt her foot, the big tree where I used to hide under the tree and smoke while waiting for her, and even the shabby carport where we used to hide and secretly kiss!

`

I ran upstairs, wiped the remaining tears from my face, and got the hang of it.

A middle-aged man opened the door, it was the father of the company, I suppressed my excitement, and said in a trembling voice, "Is the door there?" ”

He looked at me, and I knew that the expression on my face was terrible at the moment, and I seemed to be trembling all over.

`

"She's not at home, she's gone to Yanjing early."

I felt that my heart was tightly grasped by a hand, and I asked in a dumb voice, "What is she doing in Yanjing?" ”

Juju's father looked at me and said coldly, "She went to Yanjing to work, and she has been there for almost a year. ”

I staggered back two steps, my eyes shining like a hammer striking me on the head.

With a dead face, I walked slowly downstairs to the tree, and quietly looked at the window on the second floor.

At night, it was dark behind that window.

I leaned against the tree, pulled out my cigarette, and stared at the window in silence.

I cried.

I literally cried.

I cried like a child.

I cried like a fool.

I cried like a wretched ghost who had lost all his wealth.

`

But, no matter how sad I was, there was no one behind that window, and there was no light anymore.

No more girl would be behind a window waving at me behind her parents' back.

There will never be another girl holding the phone and whispering "good night" to me.

There will never be another girl who will leave me with a reluctant smile behind the window.

There will never be another girl from behind a window looking at me out of the neighborhood. `

`

And I don't have a chance anymore.

I'll never have the chance to sneak pebbles at it behind a window to call her behind her family's back.

I'll never get a chance to wait behind the window after a fight with her to look at me when she's gone.

I will never have a chance to be angry with her again, and the two of them obviously miss each other, but they secretly watch through the window.

I'll never get a chance to listen to her play the piano outside the window again, and I know it's just for me.

`

There was no girl behind the window anymore.

There were no more words behind the window.

There was no smile behind the window anymore.

Behind the window, there is already, no longer "荦荦".

`

I gulped down a cigarette.

The heavy smoking made me cough incessantly.

I had a heart-rending cough.

I coughed with tears all over my face.

`

I had been standing under the tree for I don't know how long, I had to smoke all the cigarettes on my body, and my face was as pale as a dead man.

Finally I told myself that I wouldn't turn on the light for me behind the window of the mountain.

I pulled out my phone again and nervously dialed the number again.

It's still that voice, the one that makes me desperate:

"The call you made is down......"

I listened to it quietly, over and over again.

`

I took the last puff of my cigarette and walked out of the neighborhood in the last cold wind of the night.

Yes, the last hint of cold wind.

I think this is the last cold wind that will move me this night.

;