There are some personal changes in this story (Narcissu), so please be considerate.

Because of the previous interruption due to various problems, I hope to bring you a special reading experience with this personal exercise.

It happened to be raining on my side, so I finished writing this work in one sitting.

Although it is only 7,000 words, it does contain a lot of my own thoughts and considerations.

Later, when the fantasy chapter "Grancis" was printed in the physical book, this story would probably become an appendix.......

"Tragedy is often enough to give a strong shock. ”

And the end of "Grancis" will not be a very happy ending.

I thought about it a lot and finally decided to do so!

I want to write a deep ending, this has always been my desire.

1。

At the end of the lobby on the first floor, the pale green floor is covered with various colored tapes, silently indicating the direction to the various examination rooms.

There are no customers in the store for the convenience of patients and their families.

- No, rather, it's so deserted that you don't even need to look at the store. I stared at the scene in front of me in amazement and came to a strange conclusion.

Across from the shop is a smoking room, and there is no smell of human life, except for the glow of ultraviolet disinfection that shines through the glass on the door.

There were magazines on the shelves in front of me, and even though they had been turned and closed many times, I could still make out them clearly

- It was a monthly magazine that I had been following, and the cover was set against the background of the emerald sea, with a woman in a swimsuit standing in the center.

The body resembles a marble sculpture with a graceful luster.

— smiling at me.

A few days ago, a colleague at the company warmly invited me to drive to the seaside in Aomori for a vacation. Although I have fantasized many times about that heartfelt freedom and sense of belonging.

For me now, it has become an extravagant hope.

I looked at the green barcode ring on my left wrist and walked to the elevator at the end of the hallway.

I took this opportunity to go to the ward assigned to me by the doctor. Located on the top floor of this hospital.

The environment on the seventh floor is markedly different from the first floor, and I suddenly realized this as soon as I stepped out of the small elevator hall.

The walls of the hallway were painted excessively pure white, and the endless mint-colored floor reflected a chilling light.

It ends in front of the iron fence at the end, which is as dark as the deep sea, capturing photons trying to escape.

What is it used for?

- "Ah, sir, are you here to visit the sick?" came the emotionless voice of a middle-aged woman behind her.

It's like plain water, just to express words, that's all.

The colleague who was talking, the woman in the nursing gown, seemed to notice the barcode on my wrist and understood my identity.

I had to throw an apologetic smile at her.

2。

After changing into a simple and boring patient gown, I went to the window of the hospital room, and the exaggerated night view of the city caught my eyes from afar.

This hospital is located on the top of Mt. Chorang, and the view below the mountain is justifiably called "overlook".

The roads of Nagasaki City crisscross like a grid of stars, and the rushing traffic at night is like a beating spot of light.

From the mountain, the world is indeed falling into a deep sleep, leaving only ripples of light and sound.

I can't help but feel a little sad. Last month, I successfully passed the test and got a driver's license from the Department of Transportation. Now it is useless, and the second-hand car that I worked hard to buy is now sitting quietly on the road outside the hospital.

I thought I would be able to return to my normal life soon, but the attending doctor frowned ambivalently and told me that I was going to be hospitalized.

- He didn't tell me what kind of illness he was suffering from, but he just took a seal and stamped it on his medical record

The words "Seventh Floor".

My body is getting weak, something I've been aware of since a few years ago, coughing up bruising and sometimes shaking unconsciously just by staying up late at work, until I faint in front of the computer and am sent back to my apartment by a colleague.

This should not be the normal state of affairs in any way.

So, I came to the hospital, eager to shed the shadow of my illness and return to normal life.

- However, he was solemnly told the news of his admission to the hospital. ”

Time passed slowly in the hospital, and I sat on the couch in the lobby and watched a variety show on an old-fashioned TV set to pass the time.

The seventh floor has always been quiet in my mind, with almost no outsiders visiting, and the closed doors never seem to open. Even the doctors are pitiful.

The entertainer who once made me laugh is now irritating in vain, and the shrill laughter of the television echoes in the corridors of the hospital room, a veritable noise.

Every morning and evening, nurses push carts full of medical equipment to collect data such as body temperature and blood pressure. Other than that, no one came to talk to me.

For the first few days, I enjoyed the endless leisure time as if I was idle, but gradually I also felt bored and bored with it.

This is probably the case when the elders say, "People can't lose their purpose."

It's a fact that I lost my goal. Witnessing the advertising images on the narrow strobe screen, I thought to myself.

- "Do you think this kind of show is funny......" Someone's voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts.

"Well, it's an NHK variety show. ”

I blurted it out without much thought. Despite the fact that I had no interest in the show in front of me, and even felt bored, I still said it

Words like "funny".

Because, watching TV is my only pastime at the moment.

- What can be done after denying it?

I turned to look at the person who had made the voice.

It was a girl whose body was loosely wrapped in a hospital gown that was too big to fit. Her chestnut hair was draped behind her, and her face was so pale that there was no blood to speak of.

"Yes......" She seemed to want to say something, but only looked at the scenery down the hill with some loss.

"Are you also a patient here?" I asked, despite the fact that it was an indisputable fact.

"Uh-huh....... There was only a simple answer.

- "What about the school, is it okay?"

"Yes. The plastic bracelet on her wrist swayed slightly in the wind.

It's like a nameplate, a symbol of the patient's identity.

"Why?" I asked. "You should be nervous about your homework right now, right?"

A girl her age must be anxious about the upcoming college entrance exams now.

However, she didn't give me that sense of urgency.

- "No problem......

"I can't go back............," the girl said calmly.

"Can't go back...... What do you mean?"

"Don't you know......" "The top floor of this hospital, the seventh floor, was set up for purpose. ”

"Well, the doctor didn't tell me anything in detail, just a general inpatient department, right?"

Before I finished speaking, I suddenly remembered all the questions that had popped up in my mind.

- The only elevator on the seventh floor will only be energized until three or four o'clock in the afternoon.

- It's rare to see people walking around with the appearance of doctors, and even nurses are pitiful.

- Family members who have never come to visit the patient, and the color of the entire corridor is also a rare pure white.

I wondered about this at first.

3。

"The seventh floor is a place set up by the hospital to save costs. ”

"The patients who came to the seventh floor were suffering from diseases that were beyond the capabilities of modern medicine. ‘

That is, it is a terminal illness that has been artificially determined to be incurable. ”

"The original intention of the hospital is to wait for the progress of medicine and wait for the miracle of one in 10,000. ”

The girl turned slightly, her obsidian-like eyes without too much emotion, as if she were just telling a fairy tale, and told everything.

- "Hey, Asada, why don't you go to the hospital to see a doctor?" a colleague at the company suggested to me worriedly.

- "That's right, in a few days it will be the department's monthly leave, and although it is a bit cunning to ask the head for leave now, if it is to see a doctor, it will not be rejected anyway." After that, let's go on a vacation to the beach in Okinawa. A colleague warmly extended an invitation. This is what happened a few days ago.

Now, I realize that nothing is possible.

"Ah, Miss Nao, you're here. "A nurse walked up not far away.

"I'm going to check it out, so let's go back to my room first. ”

Is that her name——?

The girl silently entered the room on the right, and the nurse gently closed the door.

............

- "What is the iron railing used for?" I asked on a whim one day.

"That's where the bodies are parked. She said quietly.

"What......" I was a little annoyed.

"Is the ward connected to the morgue?"

"It's ridiculous!"

- "The hospital is not at fault. ”

- "Isn't it troublesome that the people here will leave silently at any time and carry corpses frequently?" she just whispered to me about my point of view, but I was shocked.

Am I going to die at any moment?

After burying my head in my knees, I kept asking questions.

Nao just looked at me quietly, without any emotional ups and downs in her dark eyes.

When she came here, she was forced to accept this absurd fact after learning the truth from a previous patient.

And now, she still chooses to tell me the truth.

4。

In that case, what's the point of staying here? Why not get out of here? The hospital can't imprison people's freedom openly, right?

I said with some excitement.

But she told me

"It didn't work. ”

Remember the agreement you made when you moved into the 7th floor?

Among them, the clause "agree and have carte blanche to cooperate with the doctor's treatment" has already signed your name, isn't it?

Patients who are blindly preparing to leave will only be stopped by the paramedic until they fall asleep after being sedated and injected.

The reason for this is said to be to prevent patients who learn of their illness from blindly retaliating against society with hatred.

This is the result of a consultation between officials and the hospital.

Therefore, the government has been providing funds for the seventh floor of the hospital, and the expensive medicines imported from abroad are cheap to the extent that boiled water is on the seventh floor.

When you move in, you must also note that the hospitalization cost on the seventh floor is so low that it can be ignored.

I sat down in a chair in the hallway in despair.

....................................

I have been in the hospital for nearly half a month, whether it is with friends, bosses or family, I have long lost contact with my friends, bosses and family, and I can say that I have been completely disconnected from the world and forgotten.

I couldn't help but smile wryly.

Her situation is much the same as mine, and her parents had gone abroad to work a year earlier and were unaware of her condition.

Every day, I meet the girl named Nao, and I look down on the city at dusk with her, and experience the days I was stranded in this world.

..............................

When she slid to the ground like a doll, I rushed into the nurse's room like crazy.

The nurse trainee carried Nao to her room and slammed the door shut.

For a whole day, the door was not opened. The disgusted gaze from the nurse made me feel sick and uncomfortable in my abdomen.

It was only after I walked into the room and saw the distressing figure on the hospital bed that I realized:

- The nurse did nothing but carry her to the bed.

- There is not even the simplest first aid measure.

We are just people who have been abandoned by hospitals.

There is no point in continuing to stay here.

At a quarter past two o'clock in the afternoon, the hospital located on the hill of Tyulong rang with a low bell ringing, and I sat down on the edge of her bed and said what I was going to do.

- "I'm getting out of here. ”

"Really......" Nao just stared at the vase at the head of the bed.

"If I stay here and just wait to die, I would rather die outside. "My will is so strong that I cannot be shaken.

"......" the girl did not answer.

"So—" I took a deep breath.

- "Please run away with me." ”

It was impossible for me to leave her alone and run away alone.

So, I selfishly set such a goal.

- "The only person who can save himself is himself." "That's something I've seen on TBS shows before.

- So.

"Even if you run away, there's nowhere to go......" she began. It's just that there is a little sadness in the tone.

"What's the difference between the outside world and the outside world for me?"

The narcissus in the bottle is in full bloom.

"Those things, you don't have to think about that much. I impulsively grabbed her shoulders and struggled to speak.

- Since life is at the end of its imminent destruction.

........................

In the pure white hallway of the seventh floor, I walked briskly, intending to get out of here only to take the only elevator available. Holding Nao's slender wrist in his hand.

I didn't have time to change into civilian clothes, so I was going to get out of the hospital like this.

The nurse at the elevator gave me a puzzled look, and I smiled at her.

In the next second, I went straight to the elevator -

Rushing into the car outside the hospital, I hurriedly started the car engine while keeping an eye on the hospital gates.

However, the surroundings are eerily silent.

The afternoon sun shines through the endless forests of the mountains and on the winding mountain roads.

With the muffled sound of the engine idling, the car began to speed smoothly. Nao sat in the passenger seat and didn't say a word.

I had to drive aimlessly, and when I saw a red light, I turned around. Just to keep the car moving.

When you open the window, the warm, moist air from the outside rushes into the car, which is markedly different from the smell of medicine and disinfectant mixed in the hospital.

"Where are you going?" the girl, who had been silent, suddenly asked.

"Go to Tanegashima. I pretended to be light-hearted to hide my confusion.

Tanegashima is a place I saw in travel magazines earlier.

It was a small island surrounded by the sea, with clusters of daffodils blooming. In the center of the island is the launch site of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NTSU) and the Space Research Center.

A deep-space probe that carries the hope of mankind leaves the Earth from here and flies into the unknown universe.

After searching for the route on the GPS in the car, I realized that the route had long gone beyond the scope of "far".

However, the car did not stop there.

What do you do when you get there?

I don't know............

The sun is gradually setting in the west, and the dashboard in the car emits a "Didi" alarm sound. This is a sign that the oil is about to run out. I had less than 600 yen on me, which was just to buy a rice ball at a convenience store.

Once the fuel is depleted, the car stops at the same time as the journey is stopped.

I had to pray silently in my heart.

On an unfamiliar suburban road, the sky is lit up by vehicles that burn like fire.

After driving more than a dozen kilometers, the power began to run low.

I pulled it into a gas station on the side of the road.

- Gas stations are refueled first and pay later.

"Welcome!" "What kind of service do you need?" said the clerk who walked out with a warm smile.

"Please help fill up, thanks. I swallowed the uneasiness in my heart and said calmly.

"Okay, please wait—" The female clerk laughed briskly. Looks defenseless.

The table began to roll, and my heart became more and more nervous. As long as the fuel gauge is full, press the accelerator hard to the end to get out of here.

But when it was about to be filled, the clerk smiled and asked, "Sir, do you want to pay by card or cash?"

My eyes dodged around, not expecting to be asked in advance.

"......" I was silent for a moment, not knowing what words to answer.

"So, sir?" asked the clerk, a little confused.

What to do——?

A silent question sounded in my heart.

- but there was a solid touch in the hand.

She handed me an envelope.

When I unfolded it, I found that it contained several "10,000 won" bills.

- "This is all the money I have on me......" Nao said calmly.

"But... Is that okay?" I asked worriedly.

- "Hmm...... . “

6。

Old classical music on the radio was playing on the bus.

Four or five days have passed since I escaped from the hospital.

If you drive on the coastal road, you will see the blue sea on your right. Nao has been silently admiring the scenery outside the window.

With tens of thousands of yen in the envelope, we have been spending nearly a week, and we rely on ready-to-eat food at convenience stores for three meals a day, except for the necessary expenses for refueling.

Despite this, there was only about 10,000 yen left.

The girl's face was getting worse and worse, a sign that her body was gradually weakening.

Lately, there has been less and less communication, and whenever I ask "what's wrong" worriedly, she just shakes her head slightly.

It wasn't until just now that I accidentally found the small bottle that had fallen under the seat.

Even though the bottle was marked with a difficult quote, I could still make it out clearly

- This is the bottle used to hold the medicine.

“...... Is this your thing?" I asked after a long time.

"Ah......" The girl reached out and tried to snatch it out of my hand.

- "Hey....... Danger!" I scrambled to avoid the other vehicles on the road.

"I'm sorry....... Affected by her physical condition, she tried hard but did not succeed.

"Wait a minute, can you tell me what's going on?" I asked helplessly.

She whispered to me what she was facing.

"Medicine...... Finished eating. The girl said bitterly.

"It's a life-sustaining drug, that's what the doctor told me. ”

My heart instantly felt a little cold.

- "You... How long has it been since ...... taken that medicine?"

"It's been three days......"

- "Is this medicine available in pharmacies?"

"I don't know ....... Nao shuddered suddenly, and her body shrunk into a ball.

What if you can't buy it?

Going back to the hospital?

I couldn't help but question myself.

........................

After driving to the nearest pharmacy, I walked straight into the store with a medicine bottle in hand.

- "Hello, how can you help?" The shopkeeper is a middle-aged uncle, and his awe-inspiring facial features make me unconsciously think of a civil servant or a judge.

"Is there any such medicine?"

"Uh......" he took the vial and looked at it carefully.

- "Yes. He walked neatly into the storeroom, and a few minutes later, pulled out a small bag of bottles of the same style. That's when I breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's 4,800 yen in total. He said.

I took out a 5,000 yen bill and handed it to him.

But he didn't take it.

- "Well, before that, can you show me the prescription?"

"What, what?" I asked, a little dazed.

"This medicine is a controlled drug, and you must show the permission of the hospital to buy it, so your doctor should have given it to you, right?" he said, looking at my hospital gown.

I don't have that permission.

- "If not, I'm sorry, you need to make another trip." He lifted the bag of medicine in front of him and shook it, ready to take it away.

The atmosphere in the room was unusually quiet, and I stared at the medicine in front of me with some trembling.

The next moment, I reached out, snatched the medicine, threw the money on the table, and ran to the door as fast as I could.

There were exclamations and curses from behind, and I got into the car in one go, turned the key, and slammed on the accelerator to drive away desperately.

7。

The car stopped in front of a fashion store, and I saw that she had been staring at the plastic mannequin in front of the store in a daze, so I simply dragged her into the store. Even though we didn't have much money left, she and I changed into crisp casual clothes.

Her hair fluttered behind her, and her knee-length pleated skirt swayed in the wind, attracting the gaze of passers-by.

..................

On the bridge leading to Tanegashima, there are many pedestrians who stop their cars and enjoy the endless sea views.

A couple with a CASIO Polaroid asked me to take a picture of them, and I happily agreed.

After that, they offered to take a picture of Nao and me in return.

Despite several excuses, he ended up standing with her with some embarrassment and was constantly asked to come closer.

- "What's the matter, it's already lovers and it's so far away." The man with the camera joked.

I smiled apologetically and was forced to put my arm on her shoulder.

8。

After driving the car onto Tanegashima, we met a convoy that was transporting the "behemoth".

Escorted by a double row of police cars, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries' newly developed space probe is slowly advancing.

I parked my car on the deserted seashore and sat in the car with her, watching the sunset over this world.

At night, the temperature on the seashore plummets.

She was in the car and fell into a deep sleep without warning.

At first, I thought it was just because of the cold and fatigue, but after closer inspection, I noticed that Nao's lips were a little blue and her breathing was quite weak. ’

I suppressed the despair in my heart and pulled out the medication she had to take every day.

— only to find that there is still quite a bit left.

- I can only watch in vain, and I can't do anything.

Realizing this, I couldn't help but cry bitterly.

End*

The body froze.

The only breath was hot.

I had a vague feeling that someone was touching me.

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by Nao's figure, and the sky behind me was like white dew.

The sea was covered with mist in the early morning, but she said she wanted to go swimming.

She took off the barcode from her wrist, gave it to me, and walked gently towards the sea.

There was no swimsuit, but the hem of her skirt bloomed like a narcissus in the water.

The water was undeniably icy and bitterly hot, but she didn't look back, but kept walking towards the depths of the sea.

- There was a loud bang in the distance, and I looked up, and it was a ball of light that glowed with a scorching light, piercing the clouds and rushing straight to the top of the sky.

The long trail clouds left behind by the rocket jets delicately split light and shadow in the sky.

By the light, I noticed that there was faint handwriting on the bar ring.

- "Thank you—"

- "I'm sorry - "

- "Farewell—"

I clenched the plastic ring in my hand and buried my head in my knee. Desperately trying to keep the warmth from his master.

(Narcissu* ends)