Chapter 50: Living in the Hearts of the Living
readx; Cardinal Lateran spent five days in the castle. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 Info In the past five days, he was basically in the room, chatting with the old man about their past memories. The old man seemed to be in good spirits in the company of Ratleland, and one day he was even able to sit up from his bed and play chess with him.
On this day, little Peter and Eva hurried back to the old man's room after finishing their day's lessons with Uncle Henry.
As soon as he pushed open the door, he saw two old men in silence, each thinking about their own thoughts. Two steaming black teas were placed aside as if they were abandoned, and they were deliberately moved to the coffee table next to the bed. Uncle William sat in a wooden chair by the fireplace, holding a book in both hands, reading with relish. The room could only be heard with the rustle of pages turning, but there was a sense of peace and tranquility.
Little Peter subconsciously held his breath and walked in lightly. The three people in the room looked back at him and didn't show surprise.
They continue to think about things and look at the book. When little Peter and Eva had found a chair and sat down quietly, the other came to a corner of the room and packed up their things in the cabinet next to it. The old man seemed to have a tired look on his face because of his energy.
He shuddered and stretched out a hand to pick up the teacup on the coffee table beside him, and he took a small sip of it carefully in front of him.
As the Adam's apple swallows, there is a not-so-loud movement in the throat. The old man gasped for breath and slowly leaned down on the bed before he finally fell on the pillow. In the process, he rejected little Peter and Eva's offer to come forward to help, relying entirely on his own willpower and physical strength to complete it. The old man lay on the bed panting heavily, his chest rising and falling sharply.
He looked at Peter beside the bed, and although he had a forced smile on his face, his eyes were very glazed. Even in Little Peter's eyes, he could only see the other party's white eyeballs mixed with black and blue.
Little Peter blinked vigorously to suppress the sadness in his heart, and he looked at the old man with a smile but really didn't know what to say.
The old man looked away, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, his mouth smacking. When he had completely calmed down, he rolled over and lay on his side, curled up in a zigzag, turned his back to little Peter, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
Cardinal Rattellan sighed inwardly. He slowly stood up from the mahogany seat beneath him and straightened his robe. Seeing the sad little Peter, he sighed lightly and said slowly, "Okay, Peter, you can accompany him here." Everyone else go out, William I have something very important to say to you. With that, he turned and left the room. Uncle William had no choice but to put down the book in his hand and walk out after him, and when Uncle William reached the door, he turned his head and waved at little Peter, and then asked Eva, who was standing nearby, to close the door.
Little Peter sniffled vigorously. He lifted a hand to wipe the non-existent sweat from his forehead, then turned to retrieve a book from a cabinet in the corner of the room. First, he put the book on the coffee table next to the bed, then looked at the light in the room, and thought about it, so as to light up the candles on the lampstand one by one.
As the dim candlelight gradually lit up, the room slowly became a little more lively.
Little Peter bit his lip and shook his head, walked to the coffee table, picked up the book, walked to the chair and sat down. He flipped through the book in his hand and barely allowed himself to read it from the beginning.
When he was halfway through the book, he heard the old man's painful grunt in a daze. Little Peter hurriedly threw the book in his hand that he didn't know what to say on the coffee table beside him. He leaned over and grabbed the old man's hand tightly in both hands.
The hand was as bony as wood, and it had no strength at all when it was held lightly in the hand. Little Peter carefully shook the old man's arm gently, for fear that one careless mistake would lead to a tragedy of fractures.
The old man rolled over and lay down. He exhaled a heaviness and slowly opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling in confusion, then rolled his eyes and stared at little Peter. When he recognized the person in front of him, he trembled and bent his fingers to touch little Peter's hands.
The old man kept breathing rapidly, and the sound of low breathing was clearly audible in the silent room.
Little Peter hung his head down, his elbows resting on the bed, his head propped up, and his hands clasped the old man's hand tightly. The old man slowed down for a long time before he whispered: "Water, I want to drink water." ”
Little Peter hurriedly put down the old man's hand gently, and then threw himself aside, and finally managed to drum up a cup of boiled water at a suitable temperature. He carefully supported the old man's neck and the back of his head with one hand and lifted the old man's upper body, and the old man sat up with his two hands firmly on the bed, his elbows trembling, and he struggled to sit up.
He barely opened his mouth slightly, and little Peter hurriedly picked up the teacup and slowly fed the water to the old man.
When the old man swallowed the last mouthful of water, he lay down on the bed again with the help of little Peter, and he said bitterly: "It's difficult." ”
Little Peter pursed his lips and didn't know what to do. He could only gently put the teacup aside. At this time, he heard the old man sigh again: "If you can't hold on to this, you will die." Little Peter tensed his little face, his hands trembling, and he didn't know what to do. He licked his lips nervously and opened his mouth, but he couldn't speak.
The old man's dull eyes stared at him so woodenly, and he slowly said, "Actually, it's good to be dead." There is not so much pain and worry. ”
Little Peter made it to the chair next to the bed in silence. After thinking about it, he calmed down, looked at the old man's face, and said slowly: "Grandpa, do you want me to agree with you or refute you?" ”
The old man trembled and rolled over, lying on his side, his eyes facing him. He opened his mouth, and little Peter listened vigorously before he heard, "You should approve of me." It's a hundred times when you're dead, and it's good not to have so many worries, not to have those pains, not to have so much suffering. ”
Little Peter lowered his head, and when he raised his head again, his eyes revealed a determined gaze, and he opened his mouth and said in a calm and strange contagious tone: "Grandpa, I think I want you to live." We all want you to live, and we fear your death. But it's useless, we can't bear the pain for you, and we can't die for you. As he spoke, he exhaled a breath of stuffiness in his chest and paused.
"It's just that Grandpa, you have to think about it. It's really hard to say it's hard to live, but how hard can it be, it's really easy to die. But how many people want to try to live when they really have to face death? Grandpa, you now wake up every day and open your eyes to see the sunshine of the new day, to see Uncle William, Eva, Uncle Henry, and me, to touch real objects with your hands, to breathe and feel all the beauty of life, and to hear the sound of insects and birds. It's all because you're still alive, grandpa. If you die, then you close your eyes forever. A darkness surrounds you, you lose all your senses, you don't know anything, but you don't have pain, you are relieved. However, your figure can only stay in the memory of others. As he spoke, tears were accumulating in his eyes, and his voice was full of tears.
The old man listened quietly to his eyes without blinking. Little Peter looked at him and found that the old man's eyes were moist as well.
Little Peter calmed down and said again: "Grandpa, who will remember you after you die." You only live in my memories and Uncle William's life. The image in our memory is the last thing you ever lived. The picture may not be the same. Some may be your glorious past, some may be your depressed old age, some may be your heroic moments, some may be frailty, and some may be your skinny face slumped in bed. Eventually, however, these images will fade away until no one remembers them. His tone was calm and there was desperation. A tear ran through the corner of the old man's eye and dripped on the pillow.
"Even if you really want to die, can't Uncle William and I just remember your skinny appearance, just remember the picture of you slumped in bed and powerless. Think about it, grandpa, what you can see and feel when you open your eyes now is not real and which is not a beautiful thing in life. If you die, you'll have nothing. I will never open my eyes again, and I will never see Uncle William and I again. After a few years, people will forget everything about you. Do you have anything left in this world for eternity? Little Peter whispered with his head down.
The old man listened quietly and did not say a word. He waited for little Peter to fall silent before he opened his mouth and said weakly, "I want to eat something, Peter." ”
Little Peter's eyes lit up. He lowered his head and smiled, and hurriedly stepped aside to prepare the food he liked to eat for the old man.
His mood slowly improved, his hands were briskly busy, and he quietly hummed an unknown tune in his mouth. Wait until he's just finished getting the food ready. The candles in the room were suddenly extinguished. He froze and turned his head stiffly. He saw that the room was pitch black, and after waiting for a moment, he watched with wide eyes. It took him a long time to pick up the plate of food he had prepared and walked to the bedside.
In a few moments, only the sound of a vessel falling to the ground was heard in the room. A teardrop crept across Little Peter's face and fell to the ground, shattering to pieces.