Chapter Twenty-Five: Looking for Daddy, Looking for Mommy

One of the factors to consider for men's frequent cheating and marriage changes is because of the lack of maternal love in the original family when he was a child, and he keeps looking for a woman like his mother, if a woman can't meet the need for maternal love that he lacked when he was a child, he will keep changing partners, but the great love hole in his heart is not filled no matter what. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Women are the same, if she is a child with insufficient or lack of father's love, she will be afraid of authority, constantly seeking a strong man as a crush or the object of dating, if married, her husband can not meet her inner needs, once she meets a powerful man who matches her image, she is easy to cheat, get married, and want to find the missing father's love in different men.

Kong Ling heard the story of male A from Qian Sha and was very touched. Qian Male A's family growth environment: his mother ran away from home when he was young at the male A level, and later after Male A got married, he continued to have affairs, and during his marriage of more than 20 years, he found a different woman, and after the divorce, he lived with a daughter for a long time, but he was restless, and he wanted to return to his ex-wife and adult children. But Male A's ex-wife has been heartbroken and is unwilling to give Male A another chance. The children also unanimously asked Male A to leave the house.

And Male A's mother, who was displaced with her mother when she was a child, and her father, who she had never met, later found multiple stepfathers for Male A, and Male A's biological father is also a mystery.

Male A has been looking for his mother because of the lack of maternal love when he was a child.

And Male A's mother has never known who his biological father is, and she keeps changing men all her life, and her duckweed-like birth has caused her daughter, who is Male A's sister, to also suffer from it, and her marriage is also full of twists and turns.

How to make the person concerned clearly understand the pattern of his life and get out of this strange circle is also a difficult problem in the psychological world.

As a psychological counselor, Kong Ling certainly knows that personal growth is one of the necessary qualities to become a qualified psychological counselor, and if the counselor does not solve his own problems, he will inevitably encounter difficult cases in his future work, which will also force the counselor to constantly think about his own problems and actively try to solve his own problems.

Kong Ling also deeply excavated her own problems in the counselor's personal growth report, analyzing why she started the crush mode in junior high school, high school and college, and never fell in love as boldly as other peers, the reason is, of course, that she has always felt that she is very ordinary, not good enough, and does not dare to fall in love with others, I am afraid that if she gets along with people for a long time, people will see that she is not good. Ever since I was a child, what was the reason why I didn't feel good enough? Of course, Kong Ling also analyzed from his original family: after Kong Ling's mother divorced her biological father, she took the young Kong Ling to marry Kong Ling's stepfather, and later her mother gave birth to a little brother to Kong Ling. Kong Ling, who grew up in such an environment, has always lacked father's love, because her mother has to take care of her new brother and she can't feel the attention of her mother. She attributed it all to her lack of goodness, that her biological father didn't want her, and that her stepfather didn't love her. Is this why I have always been afraid of authority and admired men when I see them? She has to deeply analyze herself and see some of the phenomena that she has appeared again and again, such as blind worship of leaders, as long as the tasks assigned by the leader, she has never refused, even if she is tired to death, she has to complete it perfectly, in order to win the favor of the leader. The leader lost her temper at her, even if it was not her fault, she apologized directly, and did not dare to defend herself at all.

When she was in school, the class president and the president of the student union were the objects of her crush and fear, and after work, she was afraid of the school leaders, of course, she has been much better over the years, and she is not as afraid as she was when she first graduated from college and joined the workforce. But I'm still afraid.

classmate Liu Yi, firstly, was the object of her crush in junior high school, and secondly, she is now also a leader of the municipal bureau, for an ordinary teacher like Kong Ling, a director of the education bureau is already a great official for her. At first, she was full of awe and gratitude to Liu Yi, but later in the slow contact, she found that Liu Yi was not scary at all, but made her feel particularly amiable.

While walking with Qian Sha, Qian Sha suddenly said to Kong Ling, "You know that the new director of education in S City who is about to take office this year is our old classmate Liu Yi." ”

Kong Ling only knew that the director of the Education Bureau of S City was going to be replaced, where did he know who he was going to change, and now when he heard Qian Sha say it, he couldn't help but be taken aback: "You are inquiring, even you know the new director of our Education Bureau, the bureau has not yet announced it, where did you hear the gossip!" ”

Qian Sha looked mysterious and very tugging, "I just know." What do you think? You're just a nerd who doesn't hear anything outside the window. I'm afraid that if this news has been announced, everyone knows about it, and I'm afraid you will be the last person to know. Do you want to know how I know? ”

"Of course you want to, don't sell it, let's talk about it!" Kong Ling urged.

"I heard from Liu Yi himself. Doesn't my family Wang Datong often walk with me, we met Liu Yi and his family when we walked in Times Square, Wang Datong is your education department, so I chatted with Liu Yi energetically, chatted and chatted, and when it came to the new director, Liu Yi obediently "reported" to the two of us. ”

"Hey, speaking of Liu Yi's mouth, the image and temperament are really not matched by ordinary people, the two are standing together, not to mention how many matches, they are really beautiful, but they are different." When Qian Sha talked about Mrs. Liu Yi, her eyes and expression were full of appreciation. If you want to say that Qian Sha is a person who is straightforward and fast-talking, evaluating other people's personality and appearance, it is basically ruining more and less reputation, when Kong Ling chatted with her before, it is indeed rare to hear her praise people, seeing her praise Mrs. Liu Yi like this, it can be seen that Mrs. Liu Yi must be a peerless beauty, otherwise, Qian Sha cannot praise like this.

Kong Ling thought to himself, when will he have the opportunity to witness this peerless beauty at a glance, who can not love the beautiful things in the world?

When he got home, Kong Ling opened WeChat and sent a message to Liu Yi, "I heard that you are going to S City to serve as the director of education, when are you free, our old classmates will pick you up and wash the dust!" ”

After a while, Liu Yi replied with a message, "Listen to Qian Sha." I heard that I was going to be our director, and I used "you" to come, and the director is also your old classmate, so you used to call it what you used to call it. Leo Yi thought it was funny.

"Liu Yi, you don't know, I've always been afraid of leaders, even our principal, not to mention that you are still the director." Kong Ling half-jokingly and half-seriously talked about his "privacy". A mischievous smiley face was also added at the end of the message.

"Don't worry, don't be afraid of me, the director is not a tiger, he won't eat you." Lewy also added a mischievous expression at the end.