I don't know how long I lay on the ground until my mother came to me and she said to me, "Ah Feng, don't be too sad, I know that you are sadder than anyone else, you must be strong in the future, I don't think Lan Lan wants to see you like this in the sky." ”

"I know, Mom, I just want to be alone for a while."

"Then you get up from the ground, don't lie on the ground, it's so cold."

I didn't want to worry about my mom anymore, so I got up from the ground.

My mom said to me again, "I'll go back to my hometown tomorrow, I'm not in any health here during this time." ”

"Mom......" I suddenly didn't know what to say, I just felt useless.

"It's okay, Mom understands, I also wanted to go back a long time ago, but I don't know how to tell you."

I lowered my head and murmured back, "Mom, I will work hard to live, don't worry, I will definitely pick you up again." ”

"It's okay, I still prefer life in the countryside, I'm really not used to it in the city."

After speaking, my mother said to me in a serious tone: "Mom only hopes that you can be strong in the future, I know that you are very painful about Lanlan, but we living people still have to work hard to live, don't be defeated by life." ”

"I know, I need a process to digest, don't worry."

"Okay, then you stay alone for a while, Mom won't bother you, and come over to eat when you're hungry."

My mom went out after that, and I wanted to stay alone for a while, think things through, and look happy.

But it's so hard, I feel like I can't be interested in doing anything.

I think I was really depressed, and it was pretty bad.

I miss her, alive, and dead.

But I believe that time is a thing that can heal everything, but the poison of emotions is chronic, and I don't know how long it will take me to recover from this accident, but some people will never forget it.

Faced with this city that is extremely real, but illusory like a bubble, I suddenly dare not think about it for the rest of my life.

Because without Anlan's life, it's really too long, too long......

For a moment I felt as if I had become a blind person, and I could see everything vaguely.

The courtyard where I am now is where An Lan usually lives, and there is still her breath here, and I can still feel her presence here.

But the things she used to use made me unable to look at them directly, because it was too painful to see things and think about people.

I don't know why, obviously I have worked very hard to live, I also tried to let go of the hatred in my heart, and even Wang Hao was sent to prison.

The first live broadcast after I came to Anlan Company also achieved such good results, even Xiao Wei lost her memory, and everything started again.

All of this seems to be developing in a good direction, but why did it become the way it is now, and is it an accident or man-made behind Anlan's accident?

Thinking about this, thinking about it, I was in a trance......

Suddenly it rained in the sky again, as is always the case in winter, and it rained at every turn, which made the already bad mood even more irritable.

I looked indifferently at the flowers and plants in the yard, as they were ravaged by the wind and rain, and I didn't go back to the eaves, I wanted to let the rain sober me.

I put the phone back under the roof, and I didn't want to get wet because there were photos of An Lan in it, as well as a lot of chat logs between me and her.

None of our laughter and scolding will become the most cordial nostalgia in my heart.

However, I am really miserable now, so painful that I can't tell whether it is rain or tears in my eyes.

This is not a natural world at all, if it had a little rules to follow, then An Lan and I, who have gone through so many hardships, should have been relaxed a long time ago.

But reality has given us everything that is really devastating and a fragmented life.

This rain is so good that it has become my most sophisticated disguise, allowing me to cry unscrupulously in this night.

No matter how heartbreaking I wept, that cry was just a note in the rain.

As long as I don't say anything, no one can see my pain and see what kind of strength I am using to endure the torment in my heart.

That night, I truly realized how unbearable the pain of saying goodbye was.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and the wooden window was just "rattling" in the wind.

That night, I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and still didn't figure out why.

When it was almost dawn, the rain stopped, but I still didn't feel the slightest sleep, and I stayed there until dawn.

The morning air is fresh, as if the world has been redefined again.

Yes, no matter what we are experiencing, the world will never change because of it, and we are the only ones who suffer.

I don't want to be so extreme, I want to pull myself together and I want to start over.

So I started looking for things to do, tidying up the flowers and plants that had been destroyed by the wind and rain all night, washing the dirty clothes that had been left on hold for many days, and even making breakfast.

I just don't want to be idle, I always want to find something to do so that I don't think about those painful things.

After breakfast, my mom packed up her things and was leaving.

I'm going to leave after all, and I'm going to move out of this yard, but I haven't found my next place to live yet.

I helped my mom pack her bags, and we didn't say a word during the whole process.

Before leaving, my mother took my hand and said to me: "Ah Feng, you must live a good life, my mother doesn't want to see you so sad, you must take care of yourself in the future...... Don't worry at home, I'm fine. ”

With tears in my eyes, I nodded heavily, and said nothing, and no amount of words at the moment was in vain.

My mom took Didiu with her when she left, and she said she wanted to go back and have a companion, and she had developed feelings for Didiu these days.

I dropped my mom off at the bus station, and when I was leaving, my mom said a lot to me, all of which were comforting words, telling me to live well and not be too sad.

I will definitely live a good life, for the sake of Anlan, for myself, I will also try to get out of this shadow.

After watching the bus leave, I didn't leave the station, sitting on one of the steps outside and smoking.

To be honest, I'm quite confused, what should I do next?

Yun'er also sat next to me, she really used me as a cow and a horse for the past two days, no matter what I asked her to do, she was not ambiguous at all.

While smoking a cigarette, I said to her, "Yun'er, you can go, don't follow me in the future." ”

"Why?" She looked at me puzzled.

"What are you doing with me? I'm helpless now, I don't even have a place to live, do you sleep on the street with me? ”

She bowed her head and said to her again, "You go!" I know you want to atone for your sins, but no one really blames you for that, and you don't have to blame yourself. ”

"But I still have nightmares."

"Calm down, you have to get used to it, and slowly you will forget it, let's go, let's go......"

"Brother Chen Feng......"

"Let's go!" I said in an accentuated tone.

She stood up, habitually bit her lip, and said after a moment of silence: "Brother Chen Feng, don't be sad, I'll go...... But if you need me sometimes, just call me and I promise to be there for you as soon as possible. ”

I stopped talking to her, closed my eyes, and took a hard puff on my cigarette.

Just let it all go with the wind!

A person is lonely, but free.