"Why?" I looked at her curiously.

Huang Li picked up the wine glass, gently shook the red wine in the glass, and said, "Because there is no pressure to be with me, that's why you feel this way." ”

"Maybe."

Huang Li smiled and said to me, "It's right to feel comfortable, just relax a little, and I'll find you a masseuse later." ”

"I don't need to use this."

Huang Li didn't say anything more, and after a short silence, she asked me again, "What do you think of this red wine?" ”

"The taste is delicate and mellow, with a long aftertaste, and it is a good wine with a lot of value."

She didn't tell me how much it cost, but poured me another glass and asked, "What kind of wine do you like best?" White, beer, or red? ”

Without thinking, I replied: "Of course it's red wine, because she doesn't have the spicy heat of white wine, and she doesn't have beer to make her stomach sick, it's as charming and seductive as a woman...... It can soothe people's emotions, make people forget their troubles, and more importantly, the strength of the wine comes up slowly and long, which will not make people lose their minds, but only bring full pleasure. ”

Huang Li smiled after hearing this: "It is worthy of being a cultural person, and there is a set of comments, just like my father." ”

After a pause, she said: "If you want me to comment, it's one sentence: delicious." ”

I also laughed, and then said, "Sister Li, in fact, you are also a very connotative person. ”

"Don't call me Sister Li, it sounds weird, as if I'm older than you."

"I'm used to it, so what will I call you in the future?"

"My parents call me Lily, you can call me that."

"Have you ever heard a song? It's called "Lillian". ”

"No, is that good?"

"Wait a minute, I'll show you."

As I spoke, I took out my mobile phone, opened the player software, searched for Song Dongye's "Lilian", and immediately played it......

She found the lonely man ready to leave, and prayed for the twilight, until the night she turned her head and heard, a sorrowful whimper, a kind woman, with long hair hanging down her shoulders, who had followed the twilight, and whose green garments were reduced to ashes in the fire, and the flames rose until dawn, until the woman pushed open the door and went away, and she muttered to herself...... There is a beach far away from here, and the lonely man is holding the sails on the sea, and if you see her back to the shore, tell her your name: my name, Lillian......"

Huang Li and I didn't speak, and we listened quietly to the end of the song.

The song is quiet and lonely, and it is perfect to play in this quiet environment.

I don't really like folk songs, I always feel a little sick-free moaning, but I have to admit that folk songs are very emotional.

That's true of "Thirty-Year-Old Woman," and so is "Lilian......

After the whole song was played, after a while, Huang Li said: "This song is quite good, is it really called "Lilian"?" How could there be such a strange name? ”

"I guess it was written for a girl named Lillian, I don't know, but you said call you Lily, and I suddenly remembered this song."

Huang Li laughed again and said, "Then will you think of me when you hear this song?" ”

I shrugged my shoulders and didn't say anything.

Maybe, it's like every time I hear "Thirty-Year-Old Woman", I also think of Anlan.

In silence, Huang Li tore open a pack of cigarettes and handed me one.

It didn't matter that it was newly renovated, so we lit our cigarettes and smoked them.

I don't like women to smoke, but Huang Li is the only one who thinks she is very elegant when she smokes, which is a kind of beauty.

After lighting a cigarette, we calmed down again.

At night, it was a little deeper, and there were a lot fewer pedestrians on Nanbin Road at your feet.

Suddenly, Huang Li said to me again: "Chen Feng, you are really much more depressed now than before, I can clearly feel that you have been deeply hurt by An Lan's matter, I really hope you can come out." ”

I smiled bitterly and said, "It's okay, I'll come out, but I don't think I will be able to put all my love into another woman who accompanies me in the future...... Moreover, after thousands of sails, I can no longer find the feeling of the original light boat. ”

"Actually, it's not a big deal, you will always forget her in the future, first forget her appearance, then forget her voice, forget your vows, forget that you once relied on her love ......"

"Yes! Maybe one day, I will forget how much I loved her back then...... Maybe one day, I will forget all the details that I have ever experienced together...... Maybe one day, I'll forget all the memories that care about us. ”

After a slight pause, I smiled miserably and said, "But I can't forget the desperate feeling I felt when I loved her in the first place, and I can't give it to anyone else." ”

"Well, I can understand that it's a kind of infatuation with three thousand weak water and only one scoop."

"Am I stupid and useless?"

"Why?"

"I have experienced two failed relationships, from Xiao Wei's betrayal to An Lan's departure...... I have a lot of affection for both of them, but why didn't they end well? Am I not worthy of love? ”

"Of course not, these are just accidents, you don't have to live with memories anymore, you still have a ...... future"

The emotions that I had suppressed for a long time in my heart suddenly seemed to have found a breakthrough at this moment, and I couldn't stop it.

Through alcohol, I began to vent the suppressed emotions in my heart.

I cried, it was the first time I had cried in front of a woman, and it was a heart-wrenching cry......

Huang Li suddenly stood up, walked over and gently hugged my head in her arms.

I smelled a faint body fragrance mixed with the smell of lilies, and that comfortable feeling made me feel that the person holding me was Anlan.

She touched my head with distress and said, "You must have had a hard time all these years, right?" I see you've got gray hair. ”

"I feel like a cattail, I can pull out too many threads, but I can't cry out in pain...... Forced to smile in the company every day, and buy drunk ...... alone after work Accustomed to loneliness, accustomed to discussing things with oneself, accustomed to admitting blows by oneself......

But when everything became a habit, I found that I was losing myself more and more, and I found that I was not interested in anything, not even women......

I began to fear the moment when I had to go to bed every night, and in the dead of night, I had to wait and wait, stay up, and be so sleepy that I couldn't hold it anymore before I could sleep...... Sometimes waking up on the couch, sometimes on the floor next to the bed, sometimes in the bathroom......"

I confided in her, these are all the most real state of my life during this time, no one confides in and no one understands.

But in the face of Huang Li, I had the courage to say all these inner words.

Tears flowed outwards unobediently......

This is really the first time in my life that I have cried in front of a woman without any scruples.

I was tired, my whole body was completely relaxed, and I leaned my body on Huang Li's body so easily.

She patted me gently on the back and whispered, "Let the past pass, there is still a long way to go, leave your sorrow behind, open your heart, and live well......"

I didn't speak, just wrapped my hands tightly around her slender waist like a vine.

My heart gradually began to be peaceful, like a sea without waves in the dark.