When I got back to the bedroom, I felt sick all over, I took off my coat and shoes, and lay down on the bed weakly. Close your eyes and think about nothing more. I don't know if it was because I drank alcohol or because I didn't think about things anymore, but I accidentally fell asleep. It's been a long time, and there's never been a time to fall asleep so quickly while lying in bed.

At the same time, because there were thick curtains on the window, I didn't know if it was already dawn, I took the mobile phone next to me and took a look, it was not yet four o'clock in the morning, but it was a good sleep.

I used to wake up at one or two o'clock in the middle of the night, and sometimes I could sleep, and sometimes I couldn't.

When I woke up, I couldn't sleep again. I wanted to lie down for a while, but I said that I couldn't lie down. So he got up. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't feel hungry, so I didn't have to cook. And even if you want to cook, it's too early. I had nothing to do, and I couldn't lie down, so I walked back and forth in my slippers in my bedroom, like a sleepy beast. From the east to the west, from the front to the north, and so on and forth, and when they were tired of walking, they lay down in bed again. I already heard the sound of Zhang Xu walking in the yard, and I knew that it should be almost seven o'clock, because he walked to work at home at 7:20 punctually every day, probably because he didn't eat in the morning, so I could hear his movements every day when it was almost seven o'clock.

He walked up to my window and started coughing deliberately, and I was very annoyed when I heard his voice, not only him, but also his mother. His mom was already boiling water in the kitchen, and I could hear her boiling water.

In the past, when Zhang Xu and I didn't divorce, she didn't boil water, I made everything ready-made for her, and even the cigarette ash was poured for her. Because she always said that her arm hurt and she couldn't lift it, she naturally couldn't let her boil water by herself, and I boiled her water for her and put it in the kettle. Now there is no one to serve her, and she doesn't say that her arm hurts, and she can boil water by herself.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears with my hands, not wanting to hear them. But even though I covered my ears, I could still hear them. Then my heart started to get irritable again, and I thought, I can't stay in this house anymore, I'll be crazy if I see them again. I'd rather die myself than go crazy. So I made a decision, that is, I was going back to my hometown, and I was going to buy a ticket right away.

Thinking of this, I started looking for my ID card, I want to go to the station to buy a ticket, buy it today, it's better to buy the same day, leave immediately, I don't want to see them again, I want to stay alone, I want to go to my parents' grave to see, I want to tell them everything in my heart.

I want to tell them all my suffering, and let them help me.

The ID card was quickly found, and I didn't have any clothes with me, but just the bag I always carried. And there we went. I have to go to the train station to buy it, because I can't book tickets online, and I don't want Xiaobo to buy them for me, he used to buy them for me, and now I go back and don't want him to know, I don't want anyone to know. So I had to buy my own tickets.

Fortunately, it is still easy to buy tickets now, and it is not the peak period for people to go out. Because I want to leave early and leave this home early, I didn't buy a ticket for the night, but bought a ticket for the day, and it is a high-speed rail during the day, although it is more expensive, but I just want to do something now, and I have to do it immediately, so if I want to go, I have to go immediately, even if it is expensive, I will never be willing to spend money to buy a high-speed rail ticket.

After buying the tickets, there were still a few hours before the train time, but I didn't want to go home again, so I went straight to the train station, where I would rather wait. By the time I arrived at the train station, there were still more than two hours before the drive, so I found a corner in the crowded waiting hall and sat down. Looking at the dense crowd of people waiting for the bus, I don't understand, why are there so many people? Now that the epidemic is still quite serious, why do you have to go out? Are they, like me, don't want to stay in Beijing anymore and must go back?

After thinking about them, I thought about myself, why should I run back and forth like this? If I hadn't come to this place, how could there have been so many things? In our small city, I can also live a decent life, although it is not enough, but it is still more than enough, and that kind of life is already very good, but I have to go so far and add so much chaos to myself.

If I didn't know that Xiaobo's father was divorced, I would have been doing well now. Although Xiaobo's father is not a particularly strong person, he is still very good to me, if it weren't for those misunderstandings, we should be quite happy until now, right? Even if he doesn't go to work, I'd rather go to work and support him, it's much stronger than being angry here in Zhang Xu.

Thinking about this, my head started to hurt again. I have had a headache since I married Xiaobo's father, that is, when I think about things too much, my head hurts, and at that time, as long as I have a headache, Xiaobo's father will help me rub it. I think about that time, I used to lie on his lap, and he gently rubbed my head with both hands until my head didn't hurt anymore.

Actually, I had a rough life in this life, when I was young, although my parents were very good to me, but at that time my father sometimes gambled, so my mother would often fight with my father, and I was a very sensitive child, every time they fought, my brothers acted as if nothing had happened, and I had to suffer for a long time.

When I got married to Bo's father, I swore that I would never fight like my parents, and that we would have a good time. And Xiaobo's father is very good to me, but the only bad thing is that Xiaobo's father is a person who is not very up-to-date, he is the kind of person who is content as long as he is hungry. I'm not, I want to earn a lot of money and give my son Xiaobo a good life. So although Xiaobo's father was kind to me, we would also quarrel because of some life locks, but as soon as I quarreled with him, he would slam the door and go out, and then he would say to me, "You are mentally ill, I will ignore you." But even though he said so, I could see that he wasn't really angry with me, but because I was angry, and he went out for a walk, and when I was angry, he came back. In this way, although we quarreled, we never scolded each other, let alone did it. Sometimes when I'm angry, I throw him with a pillow. But he also took the pillow and put it down and ran out. And as he ran, he said, "I can't mess with you, can't I hide from you?" I'll go, I'm a good man and don't fight with women. ”

I wanted to chase him, but of course I couldn't. At that time, I thought that Xiaobo's father was simply too annoying and unbearable. Why can't you listen to me when I tell you again and again? That's why I'm often angry with him. Despite this, in fact, our lives are still happy and loving. Because it's not just him who lets me, in fact, I also think about him, no matter what he eats, I let him eat first. This is probably a habit in our family. When I was young, my parents always fought and did their own things, but when it came time to eat, it was you who let me and I let you, including us children.