But he can't do it, even if he knows that Yuhan is someone else's girlfriend, and even if he knows that he seems to be his own master, but the love is still endless, whether it is with his eyes open, or with his eyes closed, or even with hazy tears, but in his mind is still Yuhan's appearance, her sweet smiling face, everything about her, even if it is the moment when she mutters her mouth, all of this is so painful, I can't help myself.

That's why he drank liquor and smoked cigarettes so wildly, intending to dilute this heart-wrenching love with the paralysis of liquor and nicotine anesthesia, and paralyze every night that was crossed by endless heartache.

In this Internet café full of endless happiness, it seems that life is boiling, there are laughter and laughter everywhere, it is the roommates who are happily playing games, and it is Lili who is crying and laughing and watching soap operas, but in the so-called happiness of this people, even the happiness that the madman infinitely longed for when he was a child, he is drinking liquor, smoking cigarettes in numbness, looking at the computer screen, on the chat software, looking at Yuhan's gray avatar in a daze.

I want to cry, but I'm afraid that I will be seen by my roommate next to me or even Lili, afraid that he is not strong enough, and his roommate will definitely say, isn't it just a woman? Lili will definitely say, isn't it just a relationship? A smile can pass, but how do you smile? Is it like the clown on the gorgeous stage, laughing hysterically and sobbing silently under the stage?

Oh, and a smile? Then laugh a little, shall we? The madman drank two large sips of wine, the liquor burned his heart, and he instantly felt a tingling sensation in his esophagus and even his stomach, as if someone was cutting with a knife, and the madman understood that he was going to quit drinking, and even if he didn't quit drinking, he had to reduce his drinking a lot, otherwise something would definitely happen, and it hurt? This is just a signal from his body that his esophagus and stomach have already had problems due to excessive alcohol.

He looked down and laughed bitterly, not even knowing what he was laughing at, or why? Even said, maybe only by going back every day to make a record with a gel pen can all the pain that wantonly rushes against the body be vented in a pale notebook?

"It's been a long time since you, and you're not right in your head again?"

Oh? The madman immediately looked up, and immediately saw Lili, who was crying and laughing because of the soap opera, and even holding a tissue in her hand, ready to wipe her tears at any time, actually took off her headphones and looked at him expressionlessly, and it was also obvious that the words that had just questioned him were Lili.

The madman was like a madman, spread his hands, and then pouted and smiled bitterly: "Your brain is wrong, you cry and laugh when you watch a movie, and I have been watching you for a long time." ”

Lili smiled coldly, yes, she was sneering, and then she said: "Lie." ”

Lie? The madman doesn't understand what he's lying, he doesn't seem to be lying, huh? Oh? No, now is not the time to think about such inexplicable things, he came to the Internet café to spend money and play games, right?

……

The year passed quickly, and this morning the madmen came out of the Internet café, this once quiet to desolate big city, is gradually recovering its life, gradually restoring its once prosperous and noisy appearance, as if it was bustling, even busy, this is the original face of this big city? Or is that the original purpose of all the people who built this big city?

Yes, at this moment, this big city, is still raging cold, the cold wind whirring makes people can't help but shrink their necks and even shiver, but the crowd on the road has begun to become sparse, some of their companies have begun to work, and now it has been more than ten days before the New Year, this is like a new reincarnation, all the people in the big city have to start working hard for their own dreams, and even exhausted. In short, everyone's dreams, whether it is love, status or even respect, etc., will eventually only turn into an essence, money, yes, as long as you have money, everything will no longer be a problem.

So everyone learns how to be a human being, how to be a correct human being who can earn money, everything that can't make money is not the right thing, this is the definition we humans give us ourselves, the madman doesn't know why he understands this, it's really just a moment of enlightenment.

Maybe? Maybe it's a madman, he is currently on the edge of the open-air breakfast shop on the side of the road, watching the owner of the breakfast shop dressed very thickly, braving the cold wind from all directions, and making omelets for him. The madman instantly realized that the owner of the egg cake was doing the right thing for him, and he had become the most correct person, because the egg cake he was making was the right one, and this egg cake would not only make the madman eat himself, but also make the owner of the breakfast shop make him money.

Yes, our world seems to be like this, to say that it is prosperous and bright, there are indeed endless existences, whether it is a luxurious Internet café, a bar, or even a special place, or even a company and the boss's cute little lover, or a garbage can on the side of the road, a scavenger who is trying to find something out of the garbage can, or even a person disguised as a poor person, but with sound limbs and a completely capable worker, they are holding a bowl and their eyes are extremely misty.

That's right, our world is really prosperous and bright, and the number of people here is so large that it can be described as a sea of people? It can be described as dense, there are too many people, and there are too many dreams, so much that it is like the number of drizzles falling with a cold wind in the gray sky at this moment, these cover the entire sky, and even dense to the drizzle that falls on the earth, just like our human dreams, but? What are so many dreams? It's actually too simple, money!

Unbelief? Very good!

The madman took the egg cake that the breakfast shop owner had made for him, then took out a ten-yuan bill from his pocket, and handed it to the breakfast shop owner. The happy smile of the breakfast shop owner, this is his happiest moment every day, this is his happiness, it is also his dream, this is the dream of all of us human beings.

Even if he is a madman himself such a special person, he can't jump out of this world that is completely covered by the dream of money, and there is nothing left, the madman he studied the Tao Te Ching when he was a child, everyone thinks that this is the same existence as the scriptures that educate the world to be good and talk about morality, but the madman he doesn't think so, he thinks that the Tao Te Ching is actually the rule of the universe, such as Tao gives birth to one, life to two, two to three, and three to all things.

This is not at all to educate the world to be virtuous, this is completely telling the existence of the Tao, our world is from the Tao, we live in the Tao, we are the product of the Tao, we can't jump out of the Tao, is there really no way?

"What do you think? It's been a long time since I was distracted. ”

This was Lili's voice, and Lili interrupted the madman's train of thought, but the madman was not angry, because Lili's recent relationship with him seemed to be a little delicate. But why say subtle? Because it's really subtle, because of the madman, he and Lili have held hands, but for the madman, if a girl is willing to hold his hand with himself, it must be because she likes him, otherwise she wouldn't do it.

But this hand-holding only happened because of an inadvertent instant noodle in an Internet café, when the madman handed Lili her instant noodles, and accidentally touched each other's hands, and then the madman didn't know why, so he touched Lili's hand for a long time, saying to see what your hands were frozen.

Lili's face was very red at that time, and the madman's heart seemed to be a little faster, right? No, it doesn't seem to be. It's just that the madman now takes a big bite of the omelet, and then waits with a smile for the roommates to go home together, in fact, the roommates are also waiting for the omelet, after all, this is much cheaper than the expensive oden, only three dollars a piece, and six dollars two egg cakes can be satisfied.

Of course, Lili was also eating, she paid the money in her own pocket, but at this time the madman looked up at the gray sky, which made people feel extremely dark, and the cold wind was howling, and it was even more drizzle, as if all this could make people feel bad, although the madman understood that the rain was a blessing from heaven, but he forgot who told him this.

The roommates all got the omelets, and a few roommates bought two, as for the owner of the breakfast shop, he is in this cold wind, but also a small corner of the cold drizzle and hazy world, because he got money and happiness, because of happiness and touched the dream, so at this moment, he is full of smiles, he doesn't care about the cold wind at all, and even the invasion of the cold drizzle, dreams? What a great existence! It makes people forget the pain and ignore the cold.

The madman is also very happy, because they all ate the egg cake, and then they really went home together, in fact, as of today, everyone doesn't have much money on them, to be honest, the roommates don't have too much money on them, maybe only a few hundred dollars, and this all-nighter for more than ten consecutive days is definitely not a joke, because they still have to eat and smoke, and even some roommates have started to borrow money from the madman, but not much, and the madman understands that he will definitely pay it back.

When he walked through the gate of the ancient town, the madman saw the owner of the small shop, this old man, still sitting inside, drinking his tea, as if he would always be like this, forever and ever.

The old man saw the madman and prepared cigarettes and liquor for him, but the madman did not take the liquor today, but only took the cigarettes, and the old man was a little confused, and even the roommates and Lili were confused.

It's just that when the roommate asked the madman, why didn't he drink today? And the madman just laughed and didn't say anything, and then everyone stopped asking.

As usual, when the madman got home, he first warmed up the extremely cold bed, and then took out his notebook and began to record what happened last night, and even what happened in the open-air breakfast shop in the morning, because the madman felt that everything he understood at that time should be the so-called wisdom in the mouth of Lili, a college student, right? So he was going to take it to Lili when he had time, and ask about it.