That's right, the madman never thought that he would have such a humble moment, at this moment, he is really so humble, not even as good as a dog, he has been begging Jing, maybe Jing thinks the madman is too annoying, right? Maybe Jing was also moved by this plea? So she turned around.

Under the tungsten lamp that had not yet been turned off, under the light of the seemingly dim sunset, she had no expression on her face, not even the makeup of the day, she really didn't have any expression on her face, she just said coldly: "My menstrual period is coming." ”

She said so, but the madman understood, she lied, so far, the madman threw the condom in his hand directly on the ground, yes, he did so, he was very angry, for the first time felt that Jing was very angry, and Jing just watched all this quietly, and finally her face was still expressionless, and even she turned off the light and fell asleep directly with her back to the madman.

The madman didn't say anything, just suppressed the anger in his heart, but after thinking about it, he felt right, this kind of thing was originally a matter of two people, and in the case of low interest on either side, this so-called lingering process was simply a kind of torture, and it wouldn't make people feel a kind of enjoyment at all, and he himself didn't seem to have any reason to ask Jing to be interested, but? Isn't this her girlfriend?

No, no, things don't seem to be like this at all, you have to know how to respect girls, respect Jing's choice, so he smiled bitterly, but he couldn't sleep that night, he was very irritable, and he felt wronged, and he didn't know what he did wrong, was it just because he didn't have the ability, didn't have the ability to make money, maybe that's right? However, is this really the Jing I once knew?

He touched the pen in his hand, smoked a cigarette, and even drank liquor, but he couldn't understand what was going on at the moment, really, really, really, completely at all, what was going on at this moment. Because of his mood, tonight, he will no longer say goodnight to dreamers all over the world.

……

Time flies, and the relationship between the madman and Jing has deteriorated even more, from sleeping on her back before, to finally not letting the madman touch her at all, Jing has been saying that the madman is a waste, and every day she will only hold the pen in her hand and do something of no value at all, and even she tore up many of the madman's notebooks.

But the madman has always been courting Jing, whether it is very carefully helping her buy sanitary napkins, buying plush toys, buying cosmetics, or washing her underwear, or helping her buy brown sugar, etc., in short, everything that can be cared about must be cared for, but all this seems to have no meaning at all for Jing, yes, the madman understands, he has been completely expelled from Jing's heart, because he himself is just a waste who can only go to bed and scribble with a pen, Jing said, a waste man like a madman, all over the street, grab a handful.

Every time he hears these words of Jing, the madman feels very uncomfortable in his heart, because the current Jing is completely a denial of everything he has, but the Jing of the past is not like this, it is really not like this, and today, it is rest, and today is also Sunday.

At this time, she was sitting quietly on the edge of the bed in the rental house, playing with her own mobile phone, in fact, she was chatting, using text messages, but who was she chatting with? I don't know, anyway, Jing didn't allow the madman to look at her phone, she warned the madman that if the madman dared to look at her phone, she would break up immediately.

The madman is afraid of this threat, afraid of the loneliness after the breakup, afraid of losing the direction of life in an instant at that moment, that feeling of despair, he really doesn't want to experience it again, he is really scared, he prays to God, praying that he can become rich, or Jing can become the way he used to be.

But everything seems to be so-called futile, because there are a lot of lottery tickets at home, yes, crazy people have recently had the habit of buying lottery tickets, two dollars, luck is millions, and millions of cash, will be able to keep the current quiet, keep the happiness that they are afraid of losing in their hearts, but the lottery has not been won at all, and the salary of the electronics factory is fixed, and it is impossible to make a fortune.

Another is that praying to God that Jing can return to the past, it seems that it cannot be realized, because the current Jing is the present Jing, it has only been a few months, it is too short, this is a frightening happiness, is this happiness really going away? I don't know, I really don't know.

At this time, the madman was also lying on the bed with a heavy heart, and then drank the liquor, or drank it in a big gulp, if it was in the past, Jing would definitely stop him, saying that it hurt his body, and now Jing, just holding her own mobile phone, smiling very happily, I don't know what kind of text messages she saw on her mobile phone, I really don't know.

So the madman lit a cigarette again, looked out of the window, through the glass, you could see that the sky outside was eerie and terrifying, it was completely black and pressing, and it was a cold wind howling, and the unique whirring wind was also mixed with a misty drizzle, yes, the weather outside was very cold and cold, it was completely close to freezing, it was winter at this time, and in this big city in the south, it would not snow in winter, it would only rain, like a steel needle as cold as the rain, it was really like this.

The madman continued to drink bitterly, and then whispered, "Pig, shall we go out and play?" I want to get drenched in the rain. ”

Jing was still holding her phone and laughing, but after hearing the madman's words, her face changed directly: "You're fucking insane, aren't you?" It's winter outside, it's still raining, do you know how cold it is? You have to go yourself. ”

The madman still smiled: "It's so cold at home, let's go to an Internet café?" There is air conditioning there. ”

Jing smiled coldly: "Yes, there is air conditioning in the Internet café, which is warm, but people also have it at home, but our family does not." ”

The madman didn't know what Jing was talking about, but he understood that Jing didn't want to go to an Internet café, and that was really it.

……

In the past ten days, in the past ten days, Jing has a total of five days, the night is not home, the madman is worried about her, has been calling her all night, the number of calls is thousands of times, but not a single answer, even after work, the madman wants to follow her and let her go home with her, but she just said that she was going to go to the female colleague's house for the night, saying that the female colleague's house has air conditioning, but because it is a female colleague, so he can't take the madman with him.

In fact, the madman knew that Jing was lying, and he really knew, because some colleagues in the company also told the madman that Jing got on the section chief's car after work, and the section chief's car was very luxurious, it was a Mercedes-Benz, and I heard that it cost more than 600,000 yuan, so for these, the madman had already understood everything, this love, he lost, he was not an opponent of a person who could drive a car of more than 600,000 yuan, and still have a house in this big city, and even a person with air conditioning in the room, he himself has nothing, There was only a fountain pen that was no longer recognized by Jing, so he was useless.

The madman has cried, and every night when he is not in silence, he always cries, but what is the use? What's the use of drinking until you vomit all over the floor? Even on a lonely night when you're not at home, the whole room is filled with smoke, but what's the use? The only thing that accompanied him, staring at him with tears and despair, was the pen, and it seemed that everything here no longer belonged to him.

That's right, everything in this room no longer belongs to him, whether it is the TV and DVD player he once bought, or the fan thrown in the corner, or even the small table for fifteen yuan that the two of them bought together, or the underwear he chose for Jing, and Jing, who never returns tonight, no longer belongs to him.

Crying, keep crying, continue to be sad, continue to cry, cry then continue to cry, drink liquor, smoke cigarettes, because there is no air conditioning in this room, it is indeed cold to the point of collapse, the so-called truth is exactly this, so cold that people can't help themselves, so he understands that everything is going to end, and it will come soon, he really understands, so he takes out a pen and writes in a notebook:

I have never regretted falling in love with you, thank you for the happiness you have given me, and every day, every minute, every second, I feel that I am in the paradise of happiness, I try to use everything I have, to continue this intoxicating and selfless happiness, but now to leave you, it must be the fault of fate.

Now, I still love Jing, and I want to convey to you that I have made up my mind, and I want to leave this place that makes me sad to the point of despair, because I am afraid that I will completely collapse when I really face you and tell you about the breakup, I am afraid of that desperate collapse, so I choose to be a coward, and I want to leave here now.

May the pig, you and the section chief be happy for a lifetime, and the madman will stay.

……

After the madman finished writing this sentence, he tore off the page, put it in the most conspicuous place on the bed, and then simply packed his luggage, and there was not much of it, just a plastic bag, a few torn clothes in it, and Lili's two letters, and even some pens and ink, and some notebooks, of course, the pens wrapped in handkerchiefs, which were still inside.

In the end, the madman lifted the wine bottle again, this is a sixty-five degree Beijing Erguotou, Gu Dong drank two big sips, and then continued to carry the wine bottle, carrying the plastic bag in his hand, and checked his wallet, the ID card was everything, and there were more than 3,000 yuan in the bank card, yes, in recent months, almost all the money has been spent on the matter of currying favor with Jing, those expensive cosmetics are Jing asked to buy, and those bedside plush toys are the madman himself bought and given to her.

At this moment, the madman burst into tears, his heart was very scared, and his heart hurt so much that he couldn't help himself, he knew that as long as he walked out of here, everything would end, but he felt that he should go out strongly, right? Because if Jing said the end of it all in person, he was afraid that he would completely collapse in that instant.