Listening to these instructions from my aunt, I don't know why, I suddenly burst into tears, wiped my tears in this warm sunshine, picked up the wine bottle again, and drank the spirits with a bang, at this moment, my mind was full of pictures of my grandmother, the gray hair, the desperate look, the cry of my grandmother when my grandfather died, the tears of my grandmother when my father died, and the figure of my grandmother getting up early every morning and sweeping the street.

All of a sudden, I was really full of thoughts, and even thought of my grandmother asking someone to send him to the electronics factory, thinking of the director of the electronics factory, and even thinking of Juan who disappeared at the door of the snowy Labor Bureau.

And all this and all the loss of happiness is only because of money, really just because of money, because of poverty, so all of this will develop in such a trajectory, which is not what I want to see, but because of poverty, I have to accept all this, because there is no other way.

It's drinking liquor again, the burning taste of spirits, the sourness of the nose and cheeks, even the sourness of the eyes, and even the pain of the heart, why? Why are these things happening, and why? Why, exactly?

No one answered the madman's doubts, but some of the people who would sit in the park basking in the sun looked at him with strange eyes, and the madman didn't know how long he had been crying, but in short, he smoked a lot of cigarettes and even drank a lot of spirits, and then he got up weakly and confused, and slowly left the place.

……

At night, I stayed in an Internet café on my own way, this Internet café is not very well decorated, but there is also air conditioning, although the weather has slowly warmed up recently, but the night is still extremely cold, so sit in a comfortable Internet café, still watching anime movies, at about twenty o'clock in the evening, the mobile phone rings, this is the sound of the call, right.

He took off the headphones, took out his mobile phone, answered the phone, and immediately came from the other end of the phone, grandma's voice came from the other end of the phone, grandma heard the madman he called grandma, wow and cried, the crying could not be stopped for a long time, and even now, grandma still said with a crying voice, saying that she missed the madman very much, and asked the madman how he had been outside all these years.

The madman also burst into tears, but he pretended to be strong, and casually left a lie, saying that he was very good outside, had a good job, ate well, dressed warmly, and in short, there was no truth, and finally the madman asked grandma about her eyes, and grandma said that it was fine, and she was still sweeping the streets, but her legs hurt in recent years, and nothing else.

That's right, grandma didn't mention the matter of his father's debt, but the madman understood very well that the debt matter was definitely not to the point where he didn't need to mention it, so in the end the madman just said that he would work hard outside, and it was really like this, and in the end the madman lied and said that he needed to go to work, so he had to hang up the phone.

The phone hung up, and the madman continued to wipe his tears, he understood that grandma knew that he was lying, he was not at work at all, the surrounding environment was so noisy, this was obviously in the Internet café, grandma is not a fool, sure enough, after a while, the mobile phone called again, opposite was the voice of the aunt, the aunt's voice sounded very angry, the aunt said: "Your mother said, if you are not good at work or something, come back, come to us to find a job, do you hear?" ”

This is a unique Shaanxi dialect, and the madman just agreed, because he didn't know what else to say except yes, but fortunately, my aunt hung up the phone quickly, maybe only in this way, only if I couldn't hear my grandmother's cry, could my mind be quiet?

However, this is not the case, even if you hang up the phone, even if there is a lot of noise in the Internet café at the moment, even if there is smoke here, even if you still have half a bottle of liquor to drink in front of you, but, but, but grandma's cry still keeps echoing in my ears, for a long time, I refuse to stop.

……

The next day, the madman walked to an industrial area, where there was a lot of people, couples and couples, and there was scattered garbage on the long street, but it didn't matter, and the most important thing at the moment was that he needed a job, because if he was just spending money every day, he would soon be unable to hold on.

And this will suddenly see a message written on the door of an Internet café, recruiting network administrators, as if there is no need to pay intermediary fees for this, right? So the madman went into the Internet café and plucked up the courage to ask if the account desk was hiring a network manager, and the girl at the account called the boss, the boss was a middle-aged man about forty years old, and the boss asked the madman if he would fix the computer, and the madman said no, so the boss said that he needed a network manager who could repair the computer.

That's right, the owner of the Internet café just rejected him in this euphemistic way, but the madman thought it was nothing, and then wandered around the street again, and finally it all wandered to the land of fireworks, there are bars and dance halls everywhere, and they are not open during the day, but almost every door has a job advertisement, a princess, a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, and a young master, a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, seeing this, the madman thinks, it is not bad to be a young master, right? But he also understood what the so-called princess and young master did.

So after thinking about it, he thought that this might not be suitable for him, although the salary was so attractive, but when he thought of the girls who died in the Tianma Bathing Center before, he was immediately very scared, he knew that this kind of place was a place outside the law, everything was not the final word of the law, but money, there was almost no humanity here, and although the other jobs were low-paid, at least there were some social and legal guarantees, which was really the case.

But what really made him stop thinking about being a young master, he was not afraid of death, strictly speaking, there were two factors, the first was the lack of confidence in his handsomeness, and the other was the pen in the breast pocket of his underwear, although he couldn't contact Lili, but he understood that one day he would definitely be contacted, he would definitely be, he just thought so, so this pen gave himself infinite strength to support himself.

It is precisely because this fountain pen gives me infinite strength that in the next few days, I found a job, and I was very, very lucky, the boss of the intermediary did not deceive himself, it was true that he only received three hundred yuan and found a job for himself.

This company is also very large, and it also makes keyboards, but, making keyboards? It seems that where have you ever seen a company that makes keyboards? After thinking about it for a long time, I finally thought that I used to work as a security guard in a company that manufactured keyboards, that is, in the company near the integrity intermediary, and finally lost money in the company, and the entire security team was fired, and I met Jing again.

Thinking of this, he grinned helplessly, and now, the madman rented a house in a dirty and messy place, the house is still very small, because it is cheap, but it also requires two hundred yuan, but these two hundred yuan includes the utility bills, and it is also on the second floor of a private house, and the neighborhood is all densely packed to a terrible number of houses.

So it's very dirty around here, and there are many small restaurants downstairs, and there are also vegetable markets, so at this moment, the madman is drinking wine, sitting in his small rental house, looking at the tattered tungsten light bulb above his head, this is really a long-lost light, it really looks like the brilliance of the sunset, so he looked at the bedding on his bed again, all of them are new, and they have just been bought, and he took out his mobile phone and saw that the time was 20:45 in the evening.

And then I'm going to record what happened in the last few days, because I've been wandering for the past few days, and I'm not recording at all, and the other is that I'm going to work tomorrow and I'm going to make keyboards.

In fact, for the madman, at present, in this small room of less than ten square meters, except for the futon and his own notebook pen, there is no other thing, and this is also separated by a large room, with a wooden board in the middle, and the landlord is dividing a large house into two, and even smashed the wall and opened another door, which is really terrible.

But now the madman didn't care about these at all, just took out his notebook, took his pen, and began to record carefully, but downstairs was very noisy, although this room did not even have a window, but you could still hear the extremely noisy sound, after all, there were many restaurants below, and there was a vegetable market in a private house.

In such a noisy environment, the madman felt that his ears were buzzing all the time, and at about twenty-two o'clock, someone next door came back, I don't know if it was a man or a woman, but he heard that there was a TV next door, and it was very loud, so the madman gently tapped the plank a few times, and then said that the next door would lower the sound of the TV.

And the boy's voice came from next door, and the girl's voice also came out, and the madman guessed that it should be a little couple, and the boy said, there was no one living next door, and they thought it was still empty, and said that they were embarrassed or something, which made the sound of the TV much quieter.

However, the wall is just a plank, so what's the use of making the TV quiet? Anyway, he can still hear the madman here, but he is embarrassed to let the sound of the TV set be kept down next door.

In short, this night, until just after one o'clock in the morning, the whole world quieted down a little, but occasionally there were office workers who returned to the neighborhood around one o'clock in the morning? They even yelled, maybe they drank too much, right? Because you can still hear the sound of breaking glass bottles, it must be a wine bottle, right?

But the madman understands that he will solve the problem of noise during the day, and now he will endure it a little, because he has to go to work after dawn, and in the past few days, the sleep time has been terrible, just squinting in the Internet café, so he quickly falls asleep deeply.