The madman thought of this, this is just a bitter smile in the extreme, maybe the current self, this seems to be nothing other than a bitter smile, right? Yes, that's exactly what happened.

So I casually picked up more than half a bottle of liquor under the desk, and after a few sips, I said: "Repentance?" I need to regret something, you may no longer remember, I was able to be with you in the first place, it was completely out of the old man at the mouth of the ancient town, if it wasn't for him who gave me the courage to continue to chase my happiness after being abandoned by Jing, then the two of us would not have been together at all.

I just have to say something, Yaping, I can only say now, all this, I have never regretted it, just like I have never regretted falling in love with you in the true sense, since now you and I have to go our separate ways, the only thing I want to say now is just, I'm sorry, please forgive me for being an incompetent person, I can't bring you the happiness you desire, and I can't have the strength to grasp the happiness I infinitely desire, I'm really sorry, so far, I never regret falling in love with you, so I won't do anything to meto make any form of repudiation. ”

Now Yaping, she just listened to all this quietly, then smiled slightly, and took her bank card from the madman, and then lit a cigarette again, facing the madman him: "Today, the outside world is really cold, whether it is the howling cold wind or the icy heavy rain."

When the madman heard this, he just cried out...... He let out a long sigh, then pursed his lips and smiled, and took a few sips of liquor before he spoke: "Oh, as for after leaving me, please don't try to learn from me anymore, and don't be willful, go find and seize the happiness you need, I sincerely bless you."

"yes, got it."

Next, Yaping continued to eat snacks, smoked cigarettes and drank tea, and continued to play with her mobile phone, as if everything had just happened, as if it had never happened at all, but did it really never happen? No, it really happened, at least for the madman now, so the madman has extremely complicated feelings, and it can be said that he has become so complicated that he doesn't even want to understand what to think.

So the current madman, although he said that he was sitting at the computer of the accounting, checked the accounts of other Internet cafes through the server, but the actual situation was not the case, because his heart was really too chaotic, so the accounts could not be checked at all, and he didn't understand what to do with his current self.

As for Yaping, she may not understand the madman's mood at all now, right? After all, for a madman, in his past extremely bad life, it seems that nothing good has happened except that it is terrible?

No, no, no, good things do happen, whether it is the female foreman of the hometown hotel, Juan, or later Yuhan, and then Lili...... Yes, there have been a lot of good things that have happened, but I don't understand, I really don't understand, why all these good things end up all being bad, it's really bad, yes, it's terrible life.

When I came to this world, I had nothing, and now I have gone through a long and painful life journey, and now at this moment, or in the last ten days, I will finally have nothing.

It's like, born naked, death is also the death of bare, boring life, it's really heart-wrenching, so far when I think of this, the madman can only continue to smoke, continue to look at the computer screen in a daze, but what should I think? I don't know.

……

But no matter what the madman is going to think, just for now, time has never stopped for him, or for anyone, so time is also fast, just like the cold world outside the glass window of this office, the cold wind is howling more wantonly, the cold rain is even more majestic, everything is really too bad.

In an instant, I was so scared, really scared, and this kind of fear, I don't know, or I don't understand, who is this going to say, who do you want to be comforted? No, in fact, he no longer has someone to talk to, and there is no one to comfort him.

So it is in this terrible mood, and also in this terrible daze, that this is over today, when I get off work at night, I go home with Yaping, and Yaping's shoes are in the water again, after all, what should I say? Anyway, that's the way it is.

So at this moment, the madman took the basin and connected the hot water, which helped Yaping wash her feet, but when I thought that in this room, after more than ten days, I would really only be left alone, in short, when I thought of this, I felt endless fear.

After helping Yaping wash her feet, she sat on the chair and looked at everything on the desk, whether it was flowers or goldfish, or a table lamp that could change colors, or even this incomparably expensive pen holder, or the bookcase next to the desk, the dense books in this bookcase, in short, when I saw this, I didn't understand these things at all, what kind of meaning did this mean to myself?

So I smiled lightly, and suddenly realized that there were actually too many things here that I didn't need at all, such as these books, such as these goldfish and flowers, and even table lamps and notebooks, yes, these things didn't seem to be the existence I needed.

And what about fountain pens? Maybe you don't need a fountain pen either, right? At present, looking at the two pens lying in the incomparably expensive pen holder, I can't help but be fascinated, I once marveled at the size of the world, marveled at the wonder of this world, and was like a fool, step by step on the road of happiness pursued by others, and along the way, I saw too many envious and jealous eyes of others, as for now, is all this really the so-called happiness?

No, no, why do you think about these things, it seems that the things you should think about are just thinking about your lonely life in the future, right? It's time to seriously consider the so-called suicide for the first time, no, it doesn't seem right, because when I was a child, I seemed to have said that I wanted to write wisdom with a fountain pen, right? But what is wisdom?

However, if the world is eager for money, then the way to make money is the so-called wealth wisdom, then people are eager for love, so the way to get the favor of the other party is wisdom, since this is the case, then want to see the world, and the so-called truth of the world, isn't it wisdom?

If this is the case, then the wisdom that I seek is really worse than the tragic course of my life, because the truth of the world that I have found is actually nothing but the selfishness of our human beings.

That's right, the truth of our world is really terrible, it's just our human selfishness and desire, or to put it simply, there is nothing else at all except selfishness, if this is really the so-called essence of the world, then is such a world really the so-called beautiful world? No, it's obviously hell here, yes, it's hell on earth.

Thinking of this, the madman laughed bitterly again, and then lit a cigarette, and smoked stupidly in insensitivity, as if there was really nothing to do except smoking, the so-called truth, in fact, is really like this.

So the madman smoked cigarettes for a long, long time, but for how long? I don't know, but I just understand that Yaping will say: "When are you going to be in a daze, you don't want to see what time it is, do you want to sleep, I still have to go to work today."

Today? Oh? Hearing this, the madman wiped out the cigarette that had just been lit in his hand in the ashtray, picked up the mobile phone on the side, and looked at the time, at this moment, it was twenty-four thirty-five in the morning, oh? It turns out that Yaping has to go to work today, which is what it means.

So he got up immediately, went out to the bathroom, and washed with hot water at will, and slept with Yaping, although now the two are indeed hugging each other and sleeping, but in each other's hearts, they are no longer each other as they used to be, and now in each other's hearts, they are actually thinking about their own things.

……

When the madman got up in the morning, the alarm clock hadn't gone off yet, because he hadn't slept all night, but Yaping slept soundly, but now the madman got up, immediately got dressed, picked up his mobile phone, and saw that the time was still fifteen minutes away and it was only seven o'clock, as if he had never gotten up so early before.

But anyway, the current madman just washed up briefly, Yaping also asked him why he got up so early, the madman just smiled, said go out, and come back immediately.

Yaping didn't say anything, and the madman really went out, and the outside world is still cold and howling, and it is even more cold and rainy, at this moment in this world, this looks really bad, just like his current mood, terrible.

The madman was braving the cold wind and the icy rain, but he also had an umbrella, anyway, he arrived at the door of the Internet café at a very fast speed, but he did not enter the Internet café, but unplugged the charger of the electric car at the door, and then checked the raincoat, and then rode the electric car, with an umbrella, although not very fast, but not very slow, and returned to the rental house.

At this time, Yaping was also washing, so the madman would speak: "I rode the electric car back, you change your shoes, it's okay if the water leaks, you wear a raincoat, I'll ride the electric car again at night, and then go to your Internet café to pick you up."