Wan'er took the bowl and went out of the house. Fan Xian looked at Sisi lying at the head of the bed, and said gently, "Have a good rest." ”

Sisi used to sleep in the outer compartment of the owner's bedroom in the back of the Fan Mansion, but now the doctor suddenly saw that she was happy, and the Liu family took a few comfortable rooms out and let her move in.

Fan Xian turned his head to look at the furnishings in this room, secretly grateful to the Liu family, and then looked at Sisi's slightly white and haggard face, and felt a little apologetic, and said softly: "It's mine, no, I actually became the last person to know." ”

At this time, as the head of the family, Fan Xian should show a gentle side, a happy side, and say more nice words that make pregnant women calm their minds, but after only saying a few words, he choked up, looked at Sisi's face stupidly, and couldn't speak for a long time.

After a period of silence, Sisi's eyes were slightly red, and he bit his lip and said, "Young Master, I can see that you are unhappy." ”

"How come?" Fan Xian was startled and said with a wry smile: "The main thing is that it is too sudden, and I am not mentally prepared at all." ”

He took the girl's hand, slowly pinched it, and said with a smile: "In my heart, you are still the big girl who always stands by my side to polish ink and fragrance, and I always feel that it has not been long, and it has not been long since we left Lanzhou...... You're going to you. ”

"It's been three years since we left Lanzhou, my foolish young master. ”

Sisi burst into tears and laughed, half-leaning on the bed, looking at him with gentle eyes, whether it was living with her peers in Jiangnan or after the official entry in Shanzhou, she was still used to calling Fan Xian the young master, and did not change her name.

"Even if I become an old man, I'm afraid I won't be mentally prepared. Fan Xian patted her hand pityingly and said, "Being a father is indeed a bit scary. ”

"The young master can ...... anything Besides, this giving birth is a woman's business. ”

Giving birth to children is a woman's business, but teaching children is a man's business...... To raise a child is much more difficult than writing poetry and killing people. ”

Fan Xian laughed to himself, reached into the quilt and carefully stroked Sisi's slightly bulging lower abdomen, and couldn't help but blame himself and said, "Father said it was four months before...... Why didn't you tell me...... Even if you're shy, you have to say something to less nǎinǎi. ”

Sisi felt the movement of the palm of his hand in his abdomen, his cheeks were slightly red, the quilt was pulled under his neck, and he said with a slight fear: "I'm afraid...... I'm afraid it's fake. ”

"Where is there anything true or false about conceiving a child. Fan Xian closed his eyes and felt the ups and downs under his palm, and some extremely complicated feelings were born in his heart, with joy and fear, slightly sour...... Is that your own child in your womb?

He really couldn't accept the fact that he was going to be a father for a while, and that fear actually overwhelmed the joy, but fortunately, his mind was clear at this time, and he didn't show himself in front of Sisi, otherwise Sisi, who was a first-time mother, would definitely hate him to death.

Fan Xian scratched his head with a headache and said, "What should I do now?"

Sisi couldn't help but burst out laughing: "Young master, of course you can eat when you should eat, sleep when you should sleep, you can't let you guard me every day because I am pregnant with a child." ”

Fan Xian suddenly reached out and gently wrenched Sisi's wrist, rested his fingers on it, closed his eyes and listened carefully to the pulse.

At this time, it happened that Wan'er walked in, and when she saw that Xiang Cheng was checking Sisi's pulse, she opened her big eyes and asked curiously, "Is it a man or a woman?"

Fan Xian slowly removed his fingers and said with a smile: "How can you see so easily that you are a B ultrasound on my fingers?"

............ "must cāo?" Wan'er and Sisi listened to this new word, and at the same time frowned, puzzled.

Fan Xian coughed twice, and told Sisi what he always paid attention to, especially not to catch a cold, and then he walked outside the door, called the daughter-in-law of the vine family, and instructed him carefully, of course, the servants and women should look for health, as for the diet, don't blindly eat big fish and meat, just pick a few nutritious dishes.

"Is there a sheep nǎi in the Zhuangzi?"

The daughter-in-law of the Teng family nodded excitedly, Sisi was pregnant with the first grandchild of the Fan family, and these people couldn't help but be excited.

After receiving an affirmative answer, Fan Xian said: "One bowl a day, be sure to boil." ”

Sisi sat beside Wan'er in the house, and said sadly: "I don't like to drink sheep nǎi. ”

Lin Wan'er thought about it, when she was curing lung disease, she was also forced by Fan Xian to drink sheep nǎi every day, the smell was really unbearable, and she couldn't help but smile at the door and said, "This sheep nǎi is not an elixir?"

Fan Xian looked back and smiled: "Although it is not an elixir, it is indeed an excellent thing, but the smell is a little heavier, Sisi, you have to endure it and insist on drinking." ”

Lin Wan'er suddenly thought of the method that Siqi thought of at that time, and said happily: "Let Siqi do this, I don't know if she put almonds or jasmine tea, a faint astringency, but it is all smelly." ”

As soon as she heard that Siqi was allowed to serve her own diet, Sisi who was leaning on the bed was so uneasy, she was originally a big girl with the same status as Siqi, but now that she is pregnant with a child, her treatment has suddenly increased so much, she really dare not bear it, for fear of letting the house gossip about herself, and subconsciously want to refuse.

Fan Xian waved his hand and said: "There are not so many false etiquette in this back house, when you are a maid, don't you still want to beat your back...... Just let Siqi work hard, but I don't know if the method will be successful. ”

Sisi's face turned red, but she found that the smug face of the Siqi girl flashed outside the door, and the girl said with a smile: "Of course this method works, at that time, I made Miss every day, as long as the tea residue was filtered with gauze." ”

Wan'er smiled and glanced at her: "Look at what you are proud of." ”

Sisi insisted on calling Young Master Fan Xian, Siqi insisted on calling Miss Wan'er, a pair of male and female hosts in this family, plus these two big girl rings, are really a little strange in terms of title, probably only a man with experience in his previous life like Fan Xian would be so indifferent to the so-called fame, fortunately, these three girls' families can cooperate with his footsteps, which is a great good.

"Usually you have to bask in the sun more, don't believe the of those stable women, if you don't blow the wind and stuffy the house, you will suffocate to death. Fan Xian suddenly thought of something, and said to the daughter-in-law and Wan'er of the Teng family very strictly, knowing that if the Liu family suddenly became old, only these two people could say something for Sisi.

"Bah......" The daughter-in-law of the vine family quickly spit twice and said, "I am very happy today, how can I say that word." ”

Fan Xian didn't bother to pay attention to her, and said to himself: "Vegetables and fruits have to be guaranteed, this is indispensable." He turned around and said to Sisi: "You have to eat when you can't eat...... Some snacks, you let the girls do it. ”

"Come on. The daughter-in-law of the vine family was thick-skinned, and she blocked Fan Xian's mouth by herself, and said: "In the end, it is the first one, there will be a hundred sons and thousands of grandchildren after this rì, if the young master is so nervous and verbose, he must not toss us to death." ”

—————————————————————— Fan Xian comforted Sisi a few more words, said a few jokes to make her relax her nervous mind, and walked out of the house with Wan'er's little hand. The two of them walked casually in the back garden, and along the way, they saw a few quite capable subordinates in the house hurrying over, and saw them hurriedly salute respectfully, but there was occasionally a hint of embarrassment in the gods.

"What is this going on?" Fan Xian asked with a frown.

Wan'er smiled and said, "This is all to congratulate Sisi, see me...... Of course, it will feel a little embarrassing. ”

"What's embarrassing?" Fan Xian was not so stupid as to be so stupid, but he was worried that Wan'er really had a knot in her heart, so she asked deliberately.

Wan'er glared at him, leaned her head on his shoulder, and whispered, "What do you say?"

Fan Xian patted her fleshy face, smiled and asked, "Then are you really happy or fake happy?"

Wan'er's childish face showed the calmness of a housewife, and it was still those three words: "What do you say?"

............ "Am I really nervous?" Fan Xian took Wan'er's hand and walked to a stone bench next to a rockery and sat down, holding Wan'er on his lap, it was quiet here, no one passed by, Wan'er was slightly ashamed and let him go.

"I'm not careful to freeze it anymore. ”

Wan'er complained, suddenly thought of the sentence he asked, raised her head after thinking for a while, looked at him with those watery eyes, and said seriously after a while: "This is what I want to ask you, why don't you seem to be very happy, and...... There seems to be some nervousness and fear...... What are you worried about? Are you really worried about my feelings? You should know that I'm not that kind of person. ”

Fan Xian shook his head, smiled and tightened his arms holding her, and said after thinking for a while: "I don't know, maybe I really didn't have the mental preparation to be a father." ”

"What do you want to prepare?" Wan'er had long been accustomed to her husband's habits of thinking that were not very similar to the men in this world, and asked curiously.

"For example...... Can you create a good environment for the next generation to grow up?"

Wan'er smiled and said, "Don't think too long-term first, I'm more curious, is it a boy or a girl in Sisi's belly?"

"Didn't I say it before......"

"Well, you can't win for sure. ”

"The odds of winning are cleverly used. ”

"Do you like boys or girls?"

"Girls. Fan Xian said categorically.

Lin Wan'er looked at him with some doubts, and after a while, she seemed to understand something, and sighed and said, "No wonder you are not very happy when you know that you have a child...... I think I feel that Sisi is no longer a girl. ”

Fan Xian was puzzled and asked in a daze, "Why do you think so?"

"Girls are pearls, and when they give birth to children, they will become fish-eyed when they get old, and you ...... I like pearls, so even if I don't play with them, I'll just look at them. Lin Wan'er smiled and said, "This is what you once wrote, don't deny it." ”

Fan Xian laughed at himself, this is Cao Gong's opinion, although it is somewhat similar to himself...... But that's not the real reason why I can't be happy to know that I will have offspring.

............ "But even if you want to become a fish-eyed, I will have a baby for you." Lin Wan'er looked at him in a daze, biting her lower lip gently, and said softly but forcefully.

Fan Xian smiled and nodded, and suddenly said: "I know that there are some strange rules in this world, such as children born in the side room should be called the main room as their mother, and even some were raised by the main room since childhood, and rarely see their own mother's face. ”

Lin Wan'er looked at him, frowning slightly, vaguely guessing what he was going to say.

"Although this is true of all the great families of the world. Fan Xian looked at her very seriously, "But we don't want this." ”

It's not a request, it's not a request, it's an undeniable notice, it's not.

Fan Xian didn't want to disturb Wan'er's already sour mood by saying such strict words at such a time, but when he looked at the door of the mansion in the ward in his previous life, he was really frightened by the bastard middle-aged fish-eyed balls played by Sister Gao Wa.

Lin Wan'er nodded, a touch of sadness flashed in her eyes, and she said slowly, "I understand what you mean." ”

"Don't be sad. After Fan Xian was silent for a moment, he smiled and said, "You have also seen the improvements I have made to that medicine in Hangzhou in the past six months, and the most important thing is ...... Mr. Fei is coming tomorrow, and since he dares to come to see us, he naturally has good things for us. ”

The delicate body in his arms suddenly shook, Lin Wan'er looked at his eyes in disbelief, and said in surprise: "It's true." ”

Although this news made Wan'er happy, Fan Xian knew that his unsparing words still hurt the other party's heart, just for the sake of Sisi and the child in Sisi's womb, he had to say it in front. At this time, he sighed softly, firstly, he really had a sullen feeling in his heart that he needed to sigh, and secondly, in his previous life, Mr. Jin had asked Xiaobao to play this trick in the Lu Ding Ji, and he was unpleasant to deal with girls.

Sure enough, Wan'er saw that his face was heavy, and immediately waved away the little resentment in her heart, and asked with concern, "What's wrong?"

"As you can see before, I wasn't very happy when I learned the news that Sisi was happy...... On the contrary, I was a little scared......" Fan Xian lowered his head, as if he wanted to find inner support and comfort from his wife's body.

"Actually, there are several reasons. ”

The first reason is naturally that she is worried that Wan'er will be sad when she touches the scene, and this reason has been lightly mentioned before. As for the second reason, it is actually quite simple.

"I am a man without a father. Fan Xian smiled and said: "Although I have a father, and even two fathers, but when I was in Shanzhou, I didn't have one, and the real one never seemed to be my father." ”

It was a very awkward sentence, but Wan'er understood, and glanced around with some jǐng to make sure that this sentence would not be heard by others.

"Father, he was very kind to me, but you know, it's not the same thing after all. As for the one in the palace...... Since I came to Kyoto, I have seen him through to nothing, and even your prince brother and second emperor brother have been driven like donkeys, not to mention me, an illegitimate child. ”

"I am a man without a father. Fan Xian repeated in an aggravated tone, "So I'm afraid that I won't be a father, so my first reaction was panic." ”

Fan Xian had no parents in his previous life, and he didn't have parents in this life, and what was even worse was that in his previous life, God was too bad, and in this life, his parents were too bad-yes, deep in his heart, he always thought that in the aspect of educating his children, his mother did a very poor job, which made him very sad.

The lack of this aspect in the course of his two lives and growth has brought a great shadow to his psyche, and he may not have noticed it, but the good news of the Fan Mansion today has completely reflected his dark side, and he subconsciously refuses to admit that he wants to become a father.

Lin Wan'er looked at him with pity on her face.

"My mother didn't love me either. Fan Xian said a little indifferently: "Maybe you don't believe it, but ...... She really doesn't love me. ”

Can't love, or don't love? The world always thinks that Ye Qingmei is Fan Xian's mother, but only he knows that after being reborn into this world, he only has curiosity and an inexplicable emotion for that distant woman, but as he grows up, the people around him keep talking about the once glorious woman, and the things around him keep telling the woman's past, and the traces around him keep reminding Fan Xian of the woman's existence.

Over time, Fan Xian, who had never received mother's love in his previous life, finally got used to this, and began to gradually accept that his mother was Ye Qingmei, and began to attach to the name - the lonely souls of the two traversers may be connected by the strongest bond between mother and son.

He admitted it, and said it himself in the cave of the West Mountain of Northern Qi, in front of Sean.

But Fan Xian, who had read the letter in the box and knew a lot of stories back then, had to tell himself that Ye Qingmei didn't love herself, not referring to her otherworldly soul, but not much love for this physical son. He inherited Ye Qingmei's Kuqing Yutang in the Supervision Academy, the connections of the year, and the close comrades-in-arms, but these were not deliberately left to him by her, and even if they were left to him?

"My mother didn't love me. Fan Xian said calmly: "Otherwise, she wouldn't have left me alone." ”

Lin Wan'er wanted to comfort him who was a little distracted, but she didn't know how to talk about what a glorious figure the deceased mother-in-law was, she grew up in the palace since she was a child, of course, she knew it very well.

"And not just because of that. Fan Xian frowned and thought, when the box was opened, he was a little disappointed, because the letter was reserved for Uncle Wuzhu, not for himself, especially the content of the letter, which made him even more disappointed.

"She called me a bastard son. He smiled and said, "And she didn't leave me a word...... And so it goes. ”

"This indifference, this calmness, seems a little calm to the point of absurdity. Fan Xian frowned and thought about his romantic background, always feeling that his birth might have been a very ridiculous thing.

He continued, but Wan'er was a little chilled when she heard it.

"She didn't tell me how to survive in such a dangerous world. She didn't sue me about who was trustworthy. She didn't tell me how the food should be eaten and how the wife should be hurt. ”

Fan Xian laughed: "She has great love for all the people in the world, but she doesn't pay much attention to her own children, isn't this a bastard? ”

After saying this, Fan Xian coughed softly, and Lin Wan'er got off his lap and beat his back one by one.

Fan Xian waved his hand and said with a smile: "It's so dangerous, fortunately there is still a father ......" He pointed in the direction of the front house, and said: "There are also nǎinǎi, and those two strange old men, otherwise I really don't know what I will become in my life." ”

Fan Xian has always been a very self-contained and cautious person, and there is not much time to sigh like this, Lin Wan'er has not been able to interject, seeing that he is gradually getting rid of the blind sigh, she simply looks at him with a smile and listens to his inner monologue.

"Listen to me sing a song. Fan Xian suddenly said very seriously.

Lin Wan'er nodded, a little curious, what kind of slang song would a big man sing?

Fan Xian opened his lips and sang, his voice was clear and sour, his voice was not good, but this tune was particularly sad, and there were three points of expectation in the sadness, like a child looking forward to his mother's return under the eaves after the rain, like a little man in white cloth under the eaves who was beaten by the wind and rain, fluttering, not focused, only led by the thread, indescribable sadness, but looking into the distance.

............ The end of the song.

"What do you mean?"

Fan Xian sang a kind of text that Lin Wan'er had never heard, and the byte pronunciation was a little weird.

The general meaning of the lyrics is simple. Probably ...... Yesterday I saw a bright star on the branch of a cedar tree, and the star stared at me, just like my mother, very gentle, and I said to the star, you have to withstand setbacks, oh, it's a boy, if you feel lonely, I will come and talk, maybe one day, so that's it, I look forward to replying to my mother, and I will take a break............ Mother, how are you doing, yesterday the kitten in the temple was taken away by the people in the village next to it, the kitten cried, hugged the cat tightly, mother, I said, don't cry, you won't be lonely, you're a boy, you will see your mother again, one day, it will be like this, look forward to replying to your mother, your aunt, take a break."

............ Fan Xian smiled at Wan'er, whose eyes were already red, and said, "It's good, right?"

"Hmm. Wan'er snorted with her nose and asked, "Ikyu is the child who wrote the letter?" ”

"Yes, a poor little boy who is extremely smart, but can't live with his mother. Fan Xian smiled and said, "It's like me...... It's just that he can mail the letter at the address, but where can I send it when I write it?"

"What's the name of this song?"

"Mother. ”

——————————————————————— in the quiet bedroom, by the faint light of the sky that spilled out of the window, Fan Xian took out the key, gently opened the outermost layer of the black long box, and then pressed it a few times with his steady fingers, and suddenly began to miss Uncle Wuzhu.

Slowly taking out the metal utensils on it and the thin letter, Fan Xian didn't look at it much, because he was already too familiar with the contents of the letter.

He just stared at the note on the third layer, the note that seemed to be blown away by the wind at any moment. On the note was the straight-edged handwriting of Ye Qingmei.

"Hey, if it's Gotake...... Tell me honestly, who are you?"

Fan Xian, like in that rainy night, moved his lips slightly, and said, "I am your son." ”

"How did you open this box?"

"I guess it's either my daughter or my son. I'll see the following things when you get your life done, remember!"

............ He opened the third layer, took out the thing from it, glanced at the words on it twice, and then couldn't help but smile bitterly, and said to himself: "Sure enough, it's an abortion pill, I said Mom...... Can you get creative with your spoof?"

He was silent in the room for a long time, then raised his head and said seriously to the box with a confident smile: "Mom, I got my life, but I won't use this thing." You're always used to making a joke about it, so in the end you left me ridiculously, and I'm different, I'm going to try to survive in this world, as for my daughter or son...... Trust me, I'm going to take good care of him...... At the very least, it will be better than you do. ”