It is an open window with flowers of all colors on the windowsill. In front of the window was a brown and black lacquered desk, on which was a black notebook with a pressed rose-like pattern on the cover.

A pair of hands gently flipped through the notebook. The hands are not large, but the joints are obvious, the veins on the back of the hands can be clearly seen blue, and the nails are also lacking in blood, with an unhealthy paleness.

The owner of the hands was a young and thin girl, with silky brown hair, gray-blue eyes, pale and bloodless skin, and a soft and immature facial contour with a sickly sense of weakness. As if following a certain rhythm, the girl flipped through the notebook page by page, starting from the first page.

May 4, 1320

"Writing a diary for the first time. My mother told me that if I was worried that I had forgotten something, I could write it down in my diary. Although people always say, 'Serious people write a diary?' but my instinct tells me that I should write down my thoughts, but I can't write (blacked out in ink) dreams here. Russell the Great was 'great'!

Time is so fast, I'm going to school soon. But apart from grammar and history, I guess there is nothing to teach me in school. After all, I (blackened in ink) is very capable of learning, and the enlightened teacher has nothing left to teach me. I think I can graduate and enter a public school soon, let me think about it, my brother once introduced me to the more famous public schools in Fenerport City, and I decided that the best fit for me was ...... Arnold College? And it just so happened that my brother was there. ”

……

August 8, 1322

"8 years old. Last night's birthday dinner was very happy, my mother asked me to invite Penny and Frank, in fact, in my opinion, I can't be considered friends with them, but can only be regarded as people who are more familiar and get along well? And the name Frank always reminds me of something that isn't pretty, like ...... Mushroom?

Anyway, my mother told me to make more friends at school, but I always thought they were naïve. I once heard a classmate say that I was like a proud swan, is this a compliment or a reproach? I decided to take it as a compliment, at least I'm a 'swan'. And hasn't Arnold always adhered to the creed of 'maintaining one's own individuality'?

Well, my mother didn't think I should graduate directly, she thought that a complete study life should not be lacking, and fortunately, my father and brother supported my decision, although it was a miracle that I entered Arnold College directly before the age of 8. But I think I'm right, at least now I can find someone I can talk to, like Penny and Frank.

In addition to mathematics and grammar, the public school also taught Hermes, Guversack, Rune, Intij, and other languages, as well as some historical knowledge. The knowledge of language and history is very useful, and I think I can study it all during my school years, which is very convenient.

I dreamed again last night. Although it is the most beautiful dream, each time it will make me more mentally trance-like the next day, is there any way to avoid it?

(Half a page of ink applied)

I should probably note here (a few words blacked out in ink)? No, you should be cautious. ”

……

June 25, 1324

"I fainted at school today, what a mess. Luckily, my mother told me that I was just sick and that I would be fine after the treatment. But her performance was clearly not something that could be easily cured, and I could see that her eyes were red. Why didn't my mother tell me what the disease was, could it have something to do with it? ”

……

March 15, 1325

"This is the third time I've fainted at school this month, and I guess I won't be in school for long, but fortunately, I've finished learning those languages, but I haven't finished learning history, but I can't learn any hidden history knowledge in school.

What exactly am I suffering from? The people from Mother Earth God Church have seen me several times, and they can't help it? I thought I'd collate the information I've found about this disease:

(1) This disease makes me always lack energy, drowsiness, and if I am in a hurry, I will faint;

(2) it gets worse every time I have a dream;

(3) As the disease progresses, I will gradually forget the things in the dream and remember the things in other dreams.

It turns out that I only know a little about this disease. But if this goes on, will I forget all the things in my dreams, even the things I did when I was a child here? Although many things in the dream have been forgotten. No, why are the things in my forgotten dreams being recalled in the case of this illness? And, when I think about it, it's actually doing more harm than good to me. It's not that simple, it's like forcing me to (ink blacked out a few words). What am I going to do?

Forget it, I think I've met the graduation requirements for public school. If I had to leave, I would have liked to have graduated and left, not dropped out. It just so happened that my brother also graduated this year, so I joined him. ”

……

June 12, 1325

"Farewell, Arnold."

"My brother took it upon himself to choose the Morgan School of Medicine at Fenerport University. Although this is the best medical school in the Northern Continent, there is no doubt that it does not match his father's expectations of him, but his father does not blame his brother. ”

August 7, 1325

"11 years old. At my birthday dinner in the evening, my mother helped me invite Petunia and Frank, and she told me that although I didn't go to school anymore, I should still have my own friends. Penny and Frank were worried about me. I hope that even if I continue to weaken, I will not forget them. ”

"My brother told me after his birthday dinner that he would study hard at Morgan Medical School and find a cure for me, and his eyes were bright."

……

August 15, 1325

"Today, someone from the Mother God Church came, and they were very familiar with Mother, and sure enough.

My mother had been a bit mysterious in the days before my condition deteriorated, and on several occasions she came back with a pale face and even smelled gunsmoke on her. I remember when I asked my father at that time, his answer was obviously just perfunctory, and it was obvious that my father was helping my mother cover up. However, after my illness worsened, my mother never went out again, and I don't know if I quit my job or took a long leave.

My mother and the church people avoided me for a long time, and I heard only words like 'spiritual' and 'escape' outside the door. Well, it seems that the church saw something. But I guess they should have found out that I was eavesdropping, and this was a deliberate attempt to give me some insight into my disease?

Should I reach out to church members? No, wait, I still have some things that I haven't figured out. ”

……

May 27, 1327

"After drinking the medicine today, my mother still used the charm on me while I was pretending to be asleep, and I felt her holding my hand and then it seemed like tears were dripping down my hands. Yes, in the past two months, I have felt that the effects of potions and charms have weakened compared to the beginning, and I guess my mother has also discovered it.

(A large ball of ink)

I should be sad, but why don't I feel anything now?

(A large ball of ink)

What a cruel world. It's either death or you lose yourself, and it's useless to know more. Damn, I should have forgotten about that. It's like a clown. I've been thinking about more and more things lately, and before I think about more dangerous things, I think I should take the initiative to leave? ”

……

October 24, 1327

"My mother's eyes became more and more worried, she became busier and busier, and her behavior seemed to be more and more erratic. Sometimes at night she would sit on the edge of my bed and watch me. I hope my mother doesn't look for any cultist help for me, and she and my father shouldn't pay for me. ”

……

November 26, 1327

"I saw my mother secretly collecting blood, which was a lot of preparation for a ritual. My instinct told me that I should immediately seek help from the Mother God Church, and I should indeed ask the church. Strange, why do I suddenly think of the title 'whistleblower'? As far as I know, there is no god with such a title, is it some kind of evil god? Anyway, since I've forgotten, it shouldn't be a dangerous thing, and the current situation doesn't allow me to look into it. ”

……

November 27, 1327

"Today I went to the church of St. Diana, and went to the confessional room to tell the bishop about my mother. The Bishop asked a priest to take me to what looked like a lounge and waited for a while, and then a lady came and asked me some questions, and I remember that this lady had come to see me before, and that she seemed to be on good terms with my mother. I remember her name was Olivia Jones. ”

……

November 28, 1327

"Mother was taken away by Ms. Jones. Ms. Jones told me that my mother only needed to go to church for a few days, at most a week, and she would be back.

I asked Ms. Jones if her mother had been seduced by some evil being. Ms. Jones seemed surprised, and she asked me where I knew this? Was my mother telling me? I told her that I only remembered that my mother had told me, but unfortunately I couldn't remember anything more specific. Well, that's in my case. I told them that every time I dreamed, I would forget something, and some inexplicable knowledge would come to my mind. I did forget how I knew. Everything I told them was true, but not everything. If my mother knew, forget it, why would I think about these useless things.

My father was a little disappointed, but he didn't blame me. ”

……

December 3, 1327

"Mother came back from church. Father was delighted. ”

……

December 15, 1327

"Ms. Jones came to visit. She and her mother had discussed some things individually and asked to talk to me alone.

She was very open to telling me about the Extraordinary, and told me that the root of my illness was that my innate spirituality was constantly escaping, and that I might have some secret connection to some higher order being. Well, it's reasonable to extrapolate from my description. The power of the church can only inhibit the progression of the disease, but it cannot cure it.

Ms. Jones speculated that it might be helpful if there were potions that could bind the spirits. Ms. Jones told me with some heaviness that the potion's name was 'Prisoner'. She seemed a little hesitant when she told me? I know, I know the names of the 22 pathways and the names of some of the low-rank potions, I just can't remember the recipes. But as far as I know, it's just a palliative solution, but there's no other way. What was I resisting before?

Ms. Jones is a member of the Mother Earth Church Extraordinary, known as the Heart of Nature. And if I take the prisoner's potion, I will also directly become a supernumerary member of the Natureheart, after all, my mother was originally a member of the Nature's Heart team. ”

……

January 2, 1328

"My father, mother and brother accompanied me to the New Year's concert, which was held by a musician named Edmundo Conti, whose music was a real treat, but the name was somewhat unfamiliar. It shouldn't be, he should be more famous. My father told me that Monsieur Conte was actually a well-known musician in Fenerport City more than ten years ago, but I had only heard that he had gone to the Southern Continent, but now he had returned. ”

……

Finally turning to the blank page, the hand picked up a slightly slender pen and wrote a new date on the first line.

January 20, 1328

The steel plate clicked at the beginning of a new line, stopped, and blurred a large patch of color there.

Eventually, the pen was picked up again, skipping the blurred patches of color, and began to write.

"Ms. Jones and Mr. Conte are coming to visit tomorrow. Mr. Conte will be my music and occult teacher. ”

As if she no longer wanted to write anything, the girl put on the cap of the pen and, without having the patience to wait for the handwriting to dry, closed the diary. The girl stood up and placed her notebook on a bookshelf not far away.

There was a knock at the door of the study, and the girl walked over and opened it, and at the door was a woman in a dark high-necked slim dress and a seventeen or eighteen-year-old maid, who was her mother and the maid Hetty. The woman was tall and had the same brown hair as the girl, neatly coiled. There is a sense of line in the contours of her face, and her brown eyes seem to have a gentle smile, but there is a faint melancholy hidden in it.

The woman rubbed Agnes' hair and said softly, "It's time to rest, my Agnes, you still have to drink medicine." ”

"Okay, Mom." The girl said softly in a slightly immature voice.