"You're right, but I can't help it, my writing is poor, and the descriptions are not good, especially the dialogue is simply dry, and it's normal to have no grades, after all, I've only been writing a book for a long time. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 info" Lin Hui said helplessly.

At this time, Lin Hui saw Li Gufan behind Huang Jie, and asked, "Is he?"

Huang Jie pushed Li Gufan in front of him and said with a smile: "His name is Li Gufan, and he is our new roommate." ”

Lin Hui nodded and said, "I see, no wonder I wonder why I woke up and saw that there was more luggage on bed No. 5." ”

Then, Lin Hui stretched out his hand and said, "Hello, my name is Lin Hui." ”

Li Gufan also smiled kindly, stretched out his hand and shook Lin Hui and said, "My name is Li Gufan." ”

At this time, the tall and thin young man in bed No. 4 also woke up, and everyone introduced it again, and they knew each other.

Huang Jie suddenly asked, "What about Zhai Feng and Hong Taoren?"

Lin Hui pouted and said: "The two of them thought they had no inspiration in the dormitory, so they ran out, probably going to those so-called places with beautiful mountains and rivers to find inspiration, if you want me to say, it's better to stay in the dormitory, how cool." ”

The four of them chatted for a while, and Li Gufan suddenly said, "Lin Hui, are you writing an article, can you show me?"

Lin Hui smiled when he heard this: "Of course you can, but my text is not good, don't be ashamed of me when you read it." ”

Li Gufan smiled and nodded, but he was thinking in his heart about the pen power of this student of the Jinhong Academy?

Subsequently, Lin Hui told Li Gufan the title of his book, called "Cutting the Scythe", Li Gufan entered the virtual system and searched, and found the book, which was already 500,000 words, but the results were not very satisfactory.

But fortunately, the barbarians don't rely entirely on their achievements to improve their strength, they also absorb the essence of the sun and the moon, so Lin Hui's strength is also around the handsome.

It took about an hour to read this cut sickle, Li Gufan's face was green, it was really ugly, Li Gufan thought to himself, the writing was immature, the sentences were not smooth, and even some places were not handled well, no wonder the grades were poor, but there was no way, for a newcomer, it was already good to be able to do this, Li Gufan could not ask them to write a book like a great god.

And they are also roommates, Li Gufan feels that he still needs to guide them.

After seeing Li Gufan finish reading the book, Lin Hui had a look of anticipation on his face, expecting Li Gufan to praise him, but he couldn't see the slightest intention of praising him from Li Gufan's face, which made him a little disappointed.

But then Li Gufan said: "Lin Hui, there are many problems in your book. ”

Lin Hui's face changed slightly, and then said, "What's the problem?"

In fact, Lin Hui was a little unhappy when he said this, he thought to himself, a newcomer from yours said that there is a problem with my book, who do you think you are?

However, when he thought that he was a newcomer, Lin Hui resisted the desire to lose his temper.

Huang Jie and Wu Jun are also a little angry, this guy is just a newcomer, Lin Hui has lived with them for a year, although the pen is not good, but at least it will not be much worse than them, Li Gufan said that there is a problem with his book, which means that their book also has a problem.

Li Gufan had long expected such a reaction, but he said unhurriedly: "Don't worry, listen to me tell you." ”

"You mentioned in the text that the protagonist is a teenager whose parents died, and you also said that the protagonist has become silent because of his character, but in the language you follow, you always use some cheerful words to describe the protagonist, which can make the protagonist more spiritual, but it is a bit inconsistent with the previous text. ”

"And, there is no good story in your text, that is, it is very bland, and now others rarely read bland books, you have to create contradictions to make the reader feel unhappy, and then you must hold it until you read it and see the moment when you write the protagonist release, the reader will be happy, so as to attract more readers. ”

Also, the appearance of the protagonist should be as early as possible, and the first three pictures are all foreshadowing why the protagonist's parents died, which will make the reader overwhelmed. ”

......

Li Gufan pointed out a series of more than a dozen faults, only to feel much happier in his heart, and at the same time, he also remembered in his heart that he could not make such a mistake.

Lin Hui was a little disdainful at first, but as Li Gufan spoke it little by little, he unconsciously became attentive, and he began to be surprised later, this kid was right, and after thinking about it carefully, it seemed that there was really a little bit of truth.

And in response to these problems, Lin Hui, Huang Jie and others had an in-depth discussion, and found that these languages were to the point, and almost all the problems in Lin Hui's book were listed.

Only then did they realize that Li Gufan was not an arrogant teenager, but a real genius.

After listening to Li Gufan's analysis, Huang Jie couldn't sit still, and immediately showed his book to Li Gufan, Li Gufan did not refuse, and it was good to help them.

Later, Wu Jun also showed his book to Li Gufan, and Li Gufan also took the time to point out the problems in their books one by one.

The four of them chatted until dinner time in the afternoon, when someone knocked on the door outside the dormitory, Huang Jie got up and opened the door, but it was the other two people in the dormitory, Zhai Feng and Cai Hongtao.

As soon as the two of them came in, they planned to ask Huang Jie and them to go to the cafeteria to eat together, but at this time they found Li Gufan, and both of them were a little puzzled.

"What is this?" Zhai Feng asked.

So Huang Jie introduced the two of them again.

Then Cai Hongtao said, "What are you doing sitting around? What are you discussing?"

Lin Hui smiled: "Our new roommate is explaining to us the problems in our book. ”

"What? explain?" Zhai Feng thought he had heard it wrong, wasn't this a new brother, how could he become a teacher.

Then, the two of them listened to Li Gufan's explanation with doubtful thoughts.

At that time, Li Gufan was giving Wu Jun a text, and Wu Jun's text was also read by the two of them, and they were listening to it at the moment, and both of them had shocked faces on their faces.

You know, they have also read Wu Jun's essay before, although they know that Wu Jun's essay is a little deficient, but they can't say where it is lacking, and now listening to Li Gufan's analysis, they suddenly have a feeling of enlightenment.

At this time, Zhai Feng and Cai Hongtao believed in Li Gufan's strength.

So, the clever Cai Hongtao immediately told Li Gufan about his book, and then Li Gufan took the time to read it and began to explain it to Cai Hongtao, Huang Jie and others listened to it with relish around him, and the smart Lin Hui even took out a notebook to write down these common mistakes and shortcomings.

Seeing this, Huang Jie and others immediately followed suit.

At this time, Cai Hongtao patted his thigh and suddenly said, "No, I'm here to ask you to eat, what time is it?"

As he spoke, Cai Hongtao glanced outside, and the sky was gradually darkening.

Cai Hongtao immediately said: "It's not good, the lecture is too fascinating, and we haven't eaten dinner yet, let's hurry up and eat, otherwise when the delicious things in the canteen are all ordered by others, we can only eat leftovers." ”

After Cai Hongtao said this, everyone was also shocked, and then they felt that their stomachs began to growl with hunger, so they thought about going to eat first, and then come to the class.

However, Li Gufan was halfway through the explanation to Zhai Feng, and Zhai Feng was also fascinated by it, and he was reluctant to leave for a while.

So Zhai Feng said: "Then you go eat first, just help me and Gu Fan order a serving, and we'll come later." ”

Huang Jie and the others nodded, this is fine.

So the four of them went to the cafeteria.

And Li Gufan continued to explain to Zhai Feng.

As a barbarian, the canteen sells meat naturally, and vegetarian food is very rare, although the body structure of the barbarian is somewhat different from that of humans, but its living habits are not much different from those of humans, the only difference is only in intelligence and physical strength.

When Huang Jie and the others arrived at the cafeteria, they found that the food they liked in the cafeteria had been ordered, and they had no choice but to order the leftover meat and vegetarian dishes to fill their stomachs, and Li Gufan and them were the same.

But when Huang Jie came out after ordering, he met Zhou Duan who left in the morning.

Huang Jie's face changed slightly, and he lowered his head and walked to the side, but Zhou Duan was obviously here to trouble Huang Jie, he also quickly moved a few steps to the side, and then leaned forward and took the initiative to bump into Huang Jie's tableware.

Huang Jie also helped Li Gufan order one, so he took one in one hand, and then was hit by Huang Jie like this, naturally he couldn't hold it steadily, the tableware fell directly, and several pieces of meat inside also fell to the ground.

This move made Huang Jie angry, he also deceived people too much.

Thinking about it, Huang Jie suddenly raised his head and wanted to theorize, but he was slapped in the face by Zhou Duan.

This slap did not leave the slightest hand, and hit Huang Jie directly in the face, and its force was so strong that the corners of Huang Jie's mouth overflowed with blood.

Huang Jie, who was slapped in the face, was furious, raised his head and shouted, "What are you doing?"

But Zhou Duan sneered and slapped again, and then scolded: "What the hell are you spilling the soup on Lao Tzu's newly bought clothes, do you know? Tell me how much you have to lose? My suit is worth five hundred taels of silver." ”

Huang Jie's heart trembled, and he secretly said in his heart, you are talking nonsense, unless you are fully inlaid with gold, how can it be worth five hundred taels of silver, five hundred taels of silver is enough for me for a year.

However, Huang Jie is not a stupid person, the other party has already shown that he is deliberately looking for trouble, and the motive must be the matter of Xiaolongnu in the morning.

Huang Jie scolded secretly, but there was nothing he could do, the other party was the younger brother of Zhou Yang, the leader of the Liu Gang, if Lin Zhen, the leader of the Lin League, was here, then naturally there was no need to be afraid, but although Huang Jie was a member of the Lin League, he was just a small minion in the Lin League, and compared with Zhou Duan's status, it was naturally much inferior, if the other party insisted on dealing with him, it could only be regarded as his bad luck.

At this time, Cai Hongtao and others, who had just finished ordering, also saw the situation here, and several people's faces changed, but they still walked over.