Winter nights. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

Mature industrial cities no longer have the concept of clear skies and starlight, and lead-gray clouds are like curtains that have not been cleaned for a hundred years, enveloping the lights of the entire city.

Where there are lights, there is glitz, and the excitement is like a passionate flame, which is undoubtedly a fatal temptation for many people.

Xu Song is a novelist, and his room has long been curtained, and he can't see the world outside the window.

On his desk by the window was an old laptop that was at least seven or eight years old and leaned on the heat sink, which was buzzing and scattered with soot next to it, and a drink bottle with an open mouth, half of which had turned tan because it was soaked in cigarette butts, and the unpleasant smell of the liquid from the half bottle could be smelled when you got closer.

But Xu Song is a novelist, and ten thin fingers crackle on the external keyboard.

He went on to write: "... There may be a lot of things in a person's life, but a partner who values you more than life is definitely worth treating with the same sincerity. Du Duwei was injured in order to keep his secret, and he wanted everyone to know that he was not just stealing the dregs of chickens and dogs, nor was he some white-eyed wolf who could not be raised, and he would repay all the kindness he had done to him, even if it would be a heavy price. ”

Writing this, Xu Song stopped, picked up the cigarette case next to him, took out a cigarette from it, "snapped" it, took a deep breath, and slowly spit it out, and after thinking for a while, he bit the cigarette butt and began to type again.

The smoke was swirling, and the smoke quickly burned out, Xu Song threw the cigarette butt into the open drink bottle when he vacated one, and the firelight touched the water and made a "sizzling" sound and then extinguished, and only the sound of the heat sink "humming" was left in the room.

Xu Song stopped and began to examine the passage he had just typed.

In winter, it is always darker and darker, and it is a little cold in the room. I don't know if it's because of habit or because I didn't have time to get up, Xu Song didn't turn on the lights, only the computer screen in the room was glowing, reflecting his expressionless face that looked a little gloomy. But Xu Song couldn't see his own face, and now he was fully engaged in what his own imaginary characters were experiencing.

However, his addiction did not last long, there was a sound of "bang" outside the room, and then Xu's mother shouted at him in a loud voice: "Ah Lei!

"It's coming!" Xu Song responded loudly, he habitually pressed Save, and then looked at the time, it was already eight thirty-two. He stood up, rubbed his aching shoulders, opened the door and walked out.

Outside is a small living room, separated from the kitchen by a glass door, Xu's father is sitting in his place reading the newspaper, leaning back, one leg on the other, putting the newspaper far away, black-framed reading glasses are also on the nose, and he is still humming a little tune in his mouth, which looks like he is in a good mood.

Seeing Xu Song come out, Xu's father put the newspaper on the cabinet on the side, ready to eat.

Xu Song consciously walked to the cupboard and took three bowls, handed one to Xu's father, put one in Xu's mother's place, and then sat down in his place with his own.

Xu Song's position was opposite Xu's father, and after he sat down, his fingers unconsciously knocked on the table, and then finally made a decision, he looked at Xu's father with some apprehension and said, "Dad, I want to go to Lotus City." ”

The small tune in Xu's father's mouth stopped, lowered his head and glanced at Xu Song without looking through his presbyopia, and saw that Xu Song was a little nervous, so he said, "What are you going to do? Isn't it good to stay at home?"

Xu Song swallowed his saliva and explained, "... A friend helped me find a job in Lotus City, a website editor, and I wanted to check it out. ”

Hearing Xu Song's explanation, Father Xu's face showed a hint of a ridiculous smile and said, "What kind of novel don't you write anymore?"

Xu Song was silent for a moment, but still told the truth: "... I'll wait until I get there, and I'll continue to write if I have time. ”

Father Xu also got serious, looking at Xu Songgang and wanting to say something, Mother Xu happened to come out of the kitchen next to her, holding the last pot of vegetables, tomato and egg soup. She put the tomato and egg soup on the table heavily, and said with a tiger face, "Where are you going?

Father Xu immediately swallowed what he wanted to say, turned around and went to the cabinet next to him to take a bottle of old rice wine, and the old god began to drink and eat vegetables on the ground.

Xu's mother neatly helped Xu Song serve the meal and then served it to herself, and her mouth was still nagging: "Look at you, what do you look like, how old you are, and you are still so worry-free." We've worked so hard to pull you to such a big place, where have we treated you badly? Now you're twenty-eight years old, and you still eat what you use at home. I would have asked you to find something to do in the neighborhood earlier, but what kind of novel did you have to write in your room every day, what's the use? Now you want to go to some messy place, who will give you money? Do you want to ask us for money? Ah Lei, your parents are already in their fifties, can you be sensible, look at Xiao Li upstairs, who is a year younger than you......

Mother Xu nagged one sentence after another, and did not delay her to eat and eat, but Xu Song couldn't listen to it anymore.

Maybe Mother Xu didn't have much trouble talking about it, but Xu Song listened to it in her heart. He has been like this all these years, and some emotions have been accumulated for a long time, yes, he is useless, he can't compromise with reality like others, find a similar job, marry a similar woman, have a similar child, live a similar life, and become a similar husband.

He didn't want to live like that.

If he can't even hold on to his last dream, then what's the point of his life?

He didn't want to be like that.

But Xu's mother didn't understand him at all, maybe she didn't want to understand what he meant at all, all she wanted was to be obedient and obedient and obedient and then obedient.

“... The girl I found on a blind date last time, where are the conditions worse? I didn't talk more than three sentences to someone for a meal, do you know that I begged all the seven aunts and eight aunts to find such a girl? Don't talk about the garage now, you don't have a job, who can look at you......" Xu's mother's nagging has no intention of stopping at all, Xu Song has heard this countless times, and he hasn't touched a few grains of the meal that Xu's mother served him, and finally he couldn't help it, put the chopsticks "popped" on the ground, stood up and said, "I'm full." ”

Mother Xu looked at Xu Song in astonishment, as if she didn't understand what happened to Xu Song today, but Xu Song didn't care, and went back to the room by herself, and said without saying a word when she was at the door: "The ticket has been bought, tomorrow." ”

Xu Song closed the door and threw himself on the bed, listening to the commotion outside, Xu's mother screamed, "Whose child is this, my Ah Lei?" and then began to cry loudly, mixed with Xu's father's whispered comfort and crackling the sound of something falling apart.

But Xu Song didn't want to care anymore, his eyes looked at the drawer at the bottom of the computer desk.

There is an old "Good Words, Good Sentences, Good Paragraphs" for the fifth grade of primary school, which is sandwiched with an even older photo, because it has been often rummaged and some colors have fallen off, and you can only vaguely see that it is a young couple, and it doesn't look like Xu's father and Xu's mother.

In the past, Xu Song would go to that photo when he was uncomfortable, but today he doesn't.

He closed his eyes as if he didn't care, but his right hand involuntarily clenched into a fist.

Many years ago, he was not surnamed Xu, his name was Song Zimin.