Who the hell am I?

What am I living for?

My name is Joshua Storm, and I don't know why I called it that, except that my mother gave it to me. Pen~Fun~Pavilion www.biquge.info Our family's surname - "Storm" I heard that it means "storm" in the old text, which was told to me by my father. My father said that he didn't know who our ancestors were, he only knew that our family had passed down esoteric magic from generation to generation since the dawn of time, and he had always been proud of it, and he had always wanted to train me to be some so-called "Archbishop of Vassilian", but I didn't want to be the person he wanted me to be.

My family lived in the forest far from the castle and the town, and I didn't know why our home was far away from the town, but I just felt happy to be in the company of the forest breeze and insects and birds every day. I love our house, a log cabin made of wood, where the sun shines through the planks every morning, and the morning breeze wakes me up with the scent of the forest, and I wake up to my mother's breakfast, which my father is not at home as always. I love the wind, maybe it has something to do with our family name, but I don't like the word "storm" in that sense, but I like the breeze that blows from the depths of the forest.

When I was a child, I had a glass toy with a green glow, I don't know where it came from, maybe it was some kind of craft that my father brought back from somewhere, it occasionally glowed green, and it made me feel very relieved, but my mother wouldn't let me play with the toy, and every time she found it, she would always take it away and scold me - I remember my mother never scolding me for anything other than that. Although there was a little friction and I was always dissatisfied with my father's long-term absence, I still felt very satisfied. At that time, I never thought about what kind of person I wanted to become, but I just felt happy to be able to live like this.

But all the good things shattered when I was nine years old.

That autumn, on an ordinary evening, I came home from a lecture by the priest in the town church, only to find the door of the cabin open. I didn't notice anything unusual, but ran into the house screaming as I always did, only to see my mother lying in a pool of blood. I vividly remember that I didn't shed a single tear at that time, and I don't know why I was like this, just sitting in the pool of blood, holding my mother's breathless body, and looking at the forest outside the door. I still remember seeing my father in the haze, seeing the smile on his face before entering the door and his body slowly falling down after entering the door......

It's been 4 years since that incident.

One night, my father returned from the castle. I can't remember the last time he came home a few months ago.

"Joshua, the practice of spells hasn't been wasted in the past few months, has it?" Sure enough, every time my father came back, he was just concerned about "spells".

"It's the same as ever. I replied impatiently.

"What is your attitude? Joshua, you are thirteen years old, and I have told you since you were a child about the responsibility and mission of our family, that you are the next Archbishop of Vasilian's kingdom, and this position is very important to the royal family! You may not understand the things of the church yet, but you need to have a sense of loyalty to the kingdom. The position of Archbishop of the Kingdom was created in the time of my grandfather, who died just after the establishment of the Kingdom Church for King Tangarian IV, and then my father, your grandfather, became the Archbishop of the Kingdom of Vasilian. This is the most important mission of our family, and it is your duty to protect the king and solve his problems, but also to lead the army in times of crisis. ”

He's talking about "responsibilities and missions" again.

"I know now why we live in such a remote corner away from town, why this forest is called the 'Forest of Death', why we are ostracized and alienated, why I have no friends ......"

“...... Joshua, if only you had half of that knight's boy. Father's tone was noticeably softened, but still angry, the kid of the Order he mentioned seemed to be a knight of the Knights of the Holy Light who had often come to his father in the last year, and he would often appear whenever his father was around, and he seemed to have a keen interest in the spells I disdained. I don't know why my father seems to belong to a church that is at odds with our family, except that my father wants me to keep the knight's visit a secret.

You may not understand that these are necessary sacrifices for the sake of the Kingdom, but sometimes responsibility is more important than life...... Without further ado, I'm coming back to say goodbye to you. Father continued.

"Farewell? you...... I mean, you, where are you going?"

"Miller, who has just established an alliance with our country not long ago, said that they have found a stone with mysterious powers, and their current magic research is still in its infancy, and it is natural that they need the technical assistance of the allies, and I, as the archbishop of Vasilian, have the most in-depth study of spells, so the kingdom sent me to Miller to assist them in their investigation, and by the way, see if that power can bring benefits to our two countries. ”

"Oh. I replied casually, but I thought to myself: What kind of magic research, there are only a few people in this country who are powerful in magic except you, they can only send you. People see us as monsters and threats, and I don't know how you pretend to be unaware.

Seeing that I didn't say anything, my father continued: "You take good care of yourself in these days when I am away, and don't put aside the practice of spells, your personality in the past is not as stubborn as it is now, since your mother ......"

"Okay! no more!" I interrupted, then lay back on the bed, deliberately with my back to him, "Don't worry about me. "I thought to myself: I haven't usually taken care of me, so it makes no difference if you can't go out......

When my father saw that I did not want to pay attention to him, he stopped talking, put out the light on the table, and walked out of the room.

The next morning, I saw a few words in the air in front of my house marked by blue light trails - "Joshua, I'm gone, take care of yourself." I swiped the words with my hand, and they disappeared without a trace.

Do you know how hard it is to leave a note for this kind of spell trick, I thought to myself. Spells, spells, spells in my head all day, why do you have to be an archbishop, I just want to be ordinary, but I want to have a few friends, even to be an ordinary priest in a church. I was angry, and before I knew it, a fireball had been ignited in my hand, and with a flick of my hand, I burned a hole in the trunk of the tree next to me. Looking down at the unextinguished spark in my palm, I didn't know who to be angry with - I wasn't an ordinary person anymore.

Noticing that there were not many alchemy potions at home, I decided to go to the apothecary in the town to replenish them. The city called "Lori" is full of all kinds of people, and I like to see those new faces from other places, because it is only in their eyes that I can feel that I am not special, and I can feel that I am still a "person". The familiar faces of the town would always talk as I passed, and stay away, as if saying, "That's the kid, right?" and "Don't get close to him, stay away from him!"

In fact, it didn't take long after my mother died for me to know how people looked at us. Because of my father's busy work, I had to deal with others alone, and it was then that I noticed the strange way people looked at me, the avoidance of other children, and the difference in myself -- these were things that I had never noticed when my mother was alive, because it was my mother's job to buy things for the family and deal with others. Now I began to think about my mother, even though she didn't know how to spell at all, if others looked at her like I did.

Spells are not yet accepted by most people, who believe that they are the power of the devil and that they will bring them disaster, which my father never mentioned when he gave me a "lesson". When he talks about spells, his eyes always shine with pride and superiority.

Whenever I walk down the street, the normally crowded street becomes less crowded, as if people are deliberately making way for me. When I came to the pharmacy, the owner just threw me a bottle of potion and then hid in the back room, yelling at me to put down the money and leave by myself.

I'm used to it.

When I saw my father again, it was already a year later.

One night, when I was about to turn off the lights and go to bed, I heard a strange sound outside the door, and when I opened the door, I found an old man with gray hair fainting in front of my house. I didn't associate him with my father, who had blond hair and a sturdy body, until I heard him cry out "Joshua" in his dying breath. He was completely unconscious.

I carried my father back to the bed, wiped his sweat and covered him with the futon, and that's when I began to notice how he looked now. My father's blonde hair had turned silvery-white, his face was full of wrinkles, and his hands had become withered, and my father was only in his forties, but he had already turned into his seventies. What had happened to him? I looked at the strange and familiar old man in front of me, and I unconsciously felt my nose sour, so I turned my head away, and I couldn't bear to see him now.

One night later, my father woke up, and the first thing he said to me sitting on the edge of the bed was, "Joshua, I'm not a good father." His eyes were solemn, as if he had seen through my heart, his tone, his demeanor, was not at all the person I knew.

"Why do you say that? What has happened to you in the past year, why have you become the way you are?"

"Joshua, if you don't want to be an archbishop, then be an ordinary person!" he did not answer my question, but said something that surprised me even more.

"How......" I was momentarily speechless in the face of my father's words.

The first thing his father did when he got up was to dig through the box where he had stored his staff and robes, and he pulled out an old staff of his kind and several dusty potions, obviously wanting to leave.

"Father, where are you going?"

"Joshua, do you remember what I said to you about duty and mission?" my father looked at me with a heavy face.

"Remember, but ......"

"Now it's time to take on my responsibilities and complete my mission. With that, he walked out the door.

"Father, wait!" I got up to chase him back, and what he said gave me a bad feeling, but my father turned and waved his hand in front of my eyes, and I lost all my strength, and my consciousness gradually blurred, and I vaguely heard him say, "Take care of yourself, as I have always believed in you." Then I saw his back running deep into the forest, and then I knew nothing.

Half a month later, Miller sent someone to send his father back.

That day the king summoned me to the castle hall, it was the first time I went to the castle, the first time I saw the king, but it was also the first time I wanted to forget but could not forget for the rest of my life.

There were few people in the main hall, and it seemed that the king had separated the irrelevant people. A crystal chest in the middle of the hall was an eyesore, and I got closer to notice that it was a coffin made of crystal. I felt a shock in my heart, and I couldn't help but feel a little weak all over, I had already guessed what was happening, but I kept telling myself that it couldn't be true, and a familiar figure seemed to be moving away from me in my mind, and I couldn't reach out to touch him.

"Joshua ......" spoke to an old man with a golden crown and a magnificent robe, who was supposed to be Targarion V, the current king of Vassilyan, and he looked at me as he spoke, with a look of apology in his eyes, with a look of pity that was different from the disdain of the townspeople, but which made me feel no less uncomfortable at the moment.

"Joshua, your father, Bennison Storm, has been ...... in a spell accident during Miller's studies."

My suspicion was finally confirmed, and the blow made me stagger back a few steps, and then I walked towards the crystal coffin, hoping to see my father one last time, but the king asked the guards around me to hold me back. Why? Why didn't you let me see my father one last time? Why did you treat me like this until now? I spurred a fire on my hand and scalded the guard's hand before I broke free of control and rushed forward, and when I saw the scene inside the coffin, I realized why--the coffin did not have the serene sleeping face of my father as I had imagined, the familiar body, the everything I could have imagined...... There was just a full red liquid, and the red color evoked memories, and everything seemed to go back to that afternoon five years ago, to the afternoon when I was lying in a pool of blood with my mother in my arms, and to that time when I never wanted to remember again.

The father was gone, Miller's explanation was a spell accident, and the king believed it, but I knew that it was definitely not that simple, and there was no evidence for it. When his father was gone, none of the commoners were saddened, and the kingdom did not give him any funeral, but the people were happy, thinking that those with monster powers were dead and they were safer. My father is gone, and I live alone, and even though I've been alone for 5 years, I don't feel like I've been missing something in my life before. I always remember my father's last words, he wanted me to be an ordinary person, but he himself died for "duty and mission", so I decided to follow the path that my father took, to become the person he wanted me to be, and only to take that responsibility with him and complete those missions.

I am Joshua Storm, the son of Bennison Storm, Archbishop of the Kingdom of Vassilian, and I will work hard to become the next Archbishop and give everything I have for the honor of the Kingdom.