Chapter 18: Loneliness and Emptiness
Spring goes and spring comes again, flowers fall and bloom.
Unconsciously, Guanyin has begun to toddle and babble.
Sending away a year, and ushering in another spring.
A year has passed, and it is another year apart.
During this year, the messengers returned to each other, and Gao Qiuniang and Changsun Sheng could only learn about each other's news through letters.
In May last year, after the recruitment of Changsun Sheng, more than 90,000 Turkic men and women returned to the Great Sui and handed over to the Qimin Khan to govern. The emperor was overjoyed and gave the eldest grandson Shengjian 2,000 horses.
In November, the emperor worshiped Yang Su as the marshal of the Yunzhou Road march, and Changsun Sheng as the envoy to be surrendered, leading the Qimin Khan to attack the Bujia Khan in the north.
In March of this year, the Bujia Khan's headquarters crossed the river south and plundered 6,000 men and women and more than 200,000 miscellaneous animals under the jurisdiction of the Qimin Khan.
The army of Changsun Sheng and the general Liang Mo pursued and fought for more than 60 miles, and the troops of Bujia Khan were defeated and fled. The Sui army continued to pursue, and Changsun Sheng sent several subordinates of the Qimin Khan to take advantage of the darkness of the night to blend in with the Turkic deserters and march together, and the brigade followed from afar.
When the Bujia Khan's headquarters rested and camped, the subordinates of the Qimin Khan contacted the brigade. Changsun Sheng led the Sui Dynasty army into the enemy camp, annihilated the main force of Bujia Khan, and recaptured the plundered population and livestock.
From then on, the Turks fled far away and no longer dared to invade the Sui Dynasty's border fortresses.
Changsun Sheng also made great contributions to the pacification of the Turks by the Great Sui.
Receiving the good news from Biansai, Gao Qiuniang was overjoyed, thinking that it was finally time for Changsun Sheng to return to Beijing, but the emperor issued an edict: Bujia is on the run, and the new subordinates still need to be educated.
The emperor issued an edict, and he postponed the return date of Changsun Sheng to an unknown time.
Gao Qiuniang waited with her eyes pierced, but what she was looking forward to was a helpless reality.
Thoughts are better than one day, and loneliness cannot be discharged.
There are a few young women who have been in the prime of life for two years, and there are a few people who can endure the empty house alone.
During the day, a bunch of things of all sizes have to be taken care of, and a pair of children are happy on their knees, and Gao Qiuniang can temporarily forget the pain of lovesickness. At night, the longing will become longer and longer, making it difficult for people to sleep.
The noblewomen of the family do not breastfeed their children after they are born, but leave them to the nurses to feed. Gao Qiuniang was very satisfied with Guanyin's nurse Ding Niangzi, and she was very relieved to hand over her daughter to her.
She has seen Ding Niangzi's handwriting very beautiful, and she has a certain foundation. Insiders know at a glance that writing such a handwriting is not something that can be practiced in a short period of time.
Gao Qiuniang also talked with Ding Niangzi about qin, chess, calligraphy and painting, and found that she was also very insightful, although she was not as proficient as herself, she was already outstanding compared to ordinary people.
Women from famous families do not go to school, and reading and literacy are generally taught by their mothers themselves, so that they are passed down from generation to generation. From how much a woman reads, you can know her family style and cultivation. can find a woman like Ding Niangzi to be the nursing mother of Guanyin, Gao Qiuniang is like a treasure, and she will take Guanyin to educate her children a lot.
Every night, Ding Niangzi lives in the West Chamber with Guanyin, and she is the only one left in the five large upper rooms, quiet and empty, she does not want to go up early to bear the pain of tossing and turning, and sitting in front of the bookcase to practice calligraphy has become her daily compulsory homework.
Among the calligraphers, Gao Qiuniang's favorite is Wang Xizhi's Xiaokai, the rules are measured, and eclectic, there are jumps in the norms, and the dots are full of aura and elegant.
She thinks that being a person is like writing, you must have rules and behave appropriately, but you can't be rigid, because if you are rigid, you will lose your spirituality and taste.
The so-called practice of words is to take a template to frame you, a word practice hundreds of times, thousands of times, so that the words you write and the template between the shelf, dot painting is the same. After practicing a lot, this model is imprinted in my heart. Then write, without thinking, just wave it, like flowing water, without any hindrance, so that it will be elegant and free.
Educating people is like practicing words, teaching him to abide by rules and etiquette since he was a child, correcting his deficiencies at any time, becoming natural habits, and waiting until he grows up to know etiquette and etiquette.
On this day, as in the past, Gao Qiuniang was thinking about life while practicing calligraphy. In the fragrance of Hanmo books, you can also experience a philosophy of life.
At the end of a "Theory of Happiness and Yi", the second watch has been played outside, and everything is silent outside the window, the tired birds return to their nests, and the laborers return to their homes, only squeaky insects chirp.
No matter how good it feels to practice calligraphy, you can't stay up all night, and you still have to go to bed after all. Gao Qiuniang packed up her pen and ink, extinguished the lamp and candle on the case, raised her hands and stretched her shoulders back lazily, and walked to the bed with a yawn.
She took off her skirt, uncovered the quilt and lay down, her thin quilt was lightly covered, the soft fragrance was spreading, and she occupied the empty bed alone, and the tiredness just now had disappeared without a trace.
Liu Yong, the poet of later generations, can best understand the pain of lovesickness of this long-term separation of husband and wife, he wrote in a poem: "Bo Shu small pillow forgive the weather, at first glance feel the taste of separation." The exhibition turned a few cold watches, and I slept again. After all, you can't sleep, and the night is as long as a year. ”
At this time, Gao Qiuniang's mood was just as Liu Yong described.
The night is as long as a year, after all, it is difficult.
Gao Qiuniang had no choice but to sacrifice her life-saving magic weapon: "Mahaprajnaparamita Daming Mantra". I hope to be able to enter the realm of colorlessness and aspect, and the emptiness of the five aggregates through chanting.
However, after reciting the Mahaprajnaparamita Mantra three times, he still could not get rid of the demonic obstacles in his heart, and the shadow of Changsun Sheng always lingered in his mind.
When the two were together, they embraced each other gently, which made Gao Qiuniang have endless memories and indulge in it.
She was attached to his strong embrace and the feeling of her arms clenched and unable to break free.
For some reason, she liked the kind of evil smile that Changsun Sheng showed when he suddenly hugged her behind her.
There is no majesty in the face of children, nor is there a solemn look in the officialdom, only a bad smile and the dishonest hands on himself.
What Gao Qiuniang loves more is the one who is different from before. She even liked his obscenity, his frivolity, and his scoundrels.
Thinking of this, Gao Qiuniang couldn't help but laugh at herself, when she was alone with Changsun Sheng, how could she be the same as in front of others, and where was there still holiness and dignity in front of people?
In fact, the joy of fish and water between husband and wife is not a vile thing, but a worthy thing.
If it is not worthy of praise, why would they be jubilant and blow and blow to marry other people's women? Why do in-laws look forward to their daughter-in-law getting pregnant and having children as soon as possible after marriage?
If there is no husband and wife, where will the love of husband and wife come from, and the inheritance of children? Therefore, the thoughts of parting couples are understandable, but worthy of praise.
The reason why husband and wife should not be said to others is because they are afraid that these charming words will touch the heartstrings of outsiders, so that people will be moved by the idea of non-separation, leading people to do things that are not good, hurting the morals, and breaking the rules.
With a dignified reason, Gao Qiuniang felt that it was not a shame to miss her husband.
In the dead of night, she can only use the imagination of the good time she had with Changsun Sheng to fill her empty heart and soothe her lovesickness.
She can't forget those moments when the two of them were together, and she can't forget the lingering resistance to death when they hugged each other.
She longed for Changsun Sheng to be able to return to her side immediately, hugging herself tightly and kissing her forehead, kissing her lips, kissing her pink neck and every inch of skin on her body, and letting his big hands roam unscrupulously on her body.
Her whole person belongs to him, and she is willing to let him knead it at will.
Thinking of those intoxicating scenes in the past, Gao Qiuniang's face slowly flushed, her breathing became a little rough, and she inadvertently brushed her smooth skin, she almost couldn't control herself.