That year, I was fifteen years old.

Oh, my memory sometimes gets confused, actually, it was the same year. Or maybe it's because there were so many things that happened that year, and I always unconsciously divide those past events into different ages. Don't be surprised, kid, the timebringer said that it was a rule of interference, and I didn't quite understand it, in fact I didn't understand it at all.

Perhaps, as the timebringer said, nothing can be said until new rules are born. Because I am Yingniang, I should go down, so I can only talk about myself. You can't hear all the things that have to do with the rules.

Because of the death of Xianmen, the so-called peace in the world is only maintained on the surface. The countries of that year can be described as an undercurrent. I've changed since reading that letter. I'm no longer the carefree lady who looks carefree all day, I want to reassure my followers, I want to reassure my aunt, I need security.

I said to the Jin idiot, "Lord Jianjun, I have been living here for a few months, and I must have missed my family. You give him a ride yourself. ”

The brocade idiot went, and Jianjun also left. In the huge mansion, except for the three personal guards and my aunt, I am the only one. No, there was another one, the hermit lying on the couch in a coma. In fact, until now, I don't know who he really is. All I know is that he knows me. Not only did he know me, but the eagerness of his gaze clearly meant that he knew me very well.

"Who the hell are you?" I said silently as I looked at the motionless man. When did my voice magical, the man actually woke up.

"Below, Ye Mo, Miss's one hundred and thirty-sixth dead!" the man endured the arrow wound on his back, describing his extremely distorted state.

Yes, if I had seen such a face, I would have fled the house in fright. But now, I'm numb. The fear I knew was like a flying blade, and now I'm so slow to react. By the time I felt scared, he had passed out again. I suddenly felt a creep, it turned out that the most terrible thing in this world is numbness, not death. I began to hate myself for being like this overnight, and I began to curse myself in my heart, a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand.

I shouldn't have been in this world because I came from outside the rules. People are always like this, when you don't know anything about something, you always want to find a reason to prove that you know.

So, I got it.

I shouldn't be in this world, because there will be countless people who won't admit my existence. People are always like this, when you know what something is and don't know why it is, you always want to try to find out why. Yes, why did God do this to me? Is my existence really the root cause of the world's troubles? If so, what are the Murong family waiting for? Why haven't they come yet? Could it be that apart from Murong Servant, the Murong family has declined?

Late that night, Murong Bei came.

“...... Where is your Murong family's character, integrity, and decisiveness, you say?!" Yes, at that moment, I was like a madman, and even I hated myself. I was an outcast, I was abandoned by the world, and now I am abandoned by myself!

"Ying Niang-" Murong Bei sighed: "If you say that the Murong family is the servant of the world, this is true. But you're also a man of the world!"

I was stunned for a moment, yes, I am from the world, Murong Bei is standing on a higher place, looking down on me! I am very angry!

"Ying Niang, I've been watching you grow up. In this world, there is no one who can understand you better than me, Murong Bei. Every step you take is designed by someone else, but it's all in your ignorance. That's what I want to see. I don't want you to be like your mother, she can continue to misunderstand her father, but she can't help but understand this earthly world. After years of war, even saints can't do anything. And you, are my hope. Everything behind you, I don't care, I only care about you!"

Murong Bei said angrily: "I have lived for 10,000 years, but this 10,000 years has not been as comfortable as your more than ten years." My 10,000 years are 10,000 years of burden, 10,000 years of repentance, and 10,000 years of self-struggle. What I have gained is that I can no longer live like that! I always say that I want to look at the world! I always say that I am a servant of the world! I always say that I am a saint! But a saint is also a human being! I also have six desires and seven emotions, and I cannot bear that invisible shackle for the people of the world until I die of old age. What's the use of being famous forever after death, because I'm not living a real life!"

Murong Bei sighed: "But in this world, how much truth is there? There are too many truths that you can't face, there are truths that can't be known, and there are truths that disappoint countless people. We can face the truth, but at a price, and that price is abandonment. I can't abandon my family, they need me, I can't abandon the so-called people of the world, because the people of the world need me, I can't abandon myself, because I am always afraid!

Murong Bei shook his head and said, "It's flawed, Huan Ran said, uh, you may not know very well." He is now the clan god of the Xuantian clan, but I heard that he has lived as a dog. Speaking of this, Murong didn't smile, shook his head again, and said, "But who can say that the dog is not? With immortal blood and an infinitely beautiful future, he was the one I was deeply jealous of at that time." He was better than me in everything, and that era was the era of joy. His achievements have been unsurpassed by no one throughout the ages. But I'm not convinced, in fact, I'm angry. I don't believe it, I have a long life, can it be that I have weakened his 100-year work? Alas, defeat is defeat, there is nothing to say. The saint with infinite light in your eyes, the most admired thing in his life is finally that Huanran. This, there is nothing incomprehensible. Girl, your enemy is actually the enemy in your heart, he doesn't exist!"

I shouldn't have appeared in this world, in Murong Bei's words, it was I who abandoned myself, denied myself, and made countless enemies for myself in my heart. Perhaps, what Murong Bei is worried about is that the enemy is myself.

I can't deny that he is a saint.

Today, he is here because of his mercy. I'm not that little girl anymore, I don't need pity! My heart is cold, my eyes are brighter, and I can see farther into the future.

I saw Wei Yingyi and her straw-bale husband personally leading an army of millions out of the western mountains like a fierce wind towards the territory of Chengtian, I saw the people rushing to their knees to surrender and greet their new emperor with drums and music, and I saw the old emperor trembling and being helped up to the city......

The gods of heaven and earth that I admire! The predecessors of Murong Servant whom I admire! Ying Niang doesn't want to look at it anymore! A daughter goes to crusade against her father!

What can I do? What should I do? All I can say is: Father, you are really wrong! I prefer to believe that I should not have been in this world, that I came from outside the rules. But at the time, I couldn't find that excuse.

It's so pitiful to be ignorant, it's so hard to make excuses......